A dog and his boy
By- Shiva's Avatar
You know what Robin? Screw you.
And in case you were wondering, I wasn't kidding this time. Despite how I may act, everything isn't always a friggin joke …
You pull this same stunt every night. Work out in the stupid gym, go to take a breather on the couch with a bottled water before you shower, and then nod off while watching an infomercial for Jesus water or Oxiclean. Seriously dude, I could set a clock to you.
Do you have any idea how much you reek? Cyborg is nice when he wakes you up in the morning. Well … that or he doesn't have a super sensitive sense of smell. Either way dude, you still always manage to wake me up. Always leave the entire tower reeking of testosterone, whatever musk you term cologne, and the unique scent that's all you.
Heh. Guess maybe I was kidding when I said screw you. I guess what I meant to say was screw me. You might be Mr. Perception with everything else, but you're fooled pretty damn easy by a plastic smile. Heh-heh … Beast Boy wants to do it with Robin … funny huh? One hell of a pun … right?
Yeah, you're right. That's just sad. Plain old pathetic. How about this one instead …
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a crocodile?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…?
Give up?
An animal that talks your head off!
…
Wow … more silence. Thanks. Starfire would have laughed. She wouldn't have gotten it, but she would have at least made the effort to smile. No, seriously dude, I don't feel like crap already. By all means just let me make a complete ass of myself, and not even grin for my benefit. No hard feelings … really.
I mean, just because while we were fighting Control Freak today, and I saw the hottest piece of tail ever, I still charged the dude rather then leave you to be crushed under thirty pounds of cable so that I could play fetch with that.
he-he … Get it? Thirty pounds of cable … he was crushing you with a TV …
FUCK dude, could you at least crack a smirk. I think I'm ready to cry here, and you still won't even look at me. I don't CARE how fantastic that black woman says her Jesus water is … I care about you dude … and you won't even LOOK at me.
She was in heat and everything, you know. She was giving me the eye dude … the "I wanna bear your puppies" look. And I turned all that down, so that I could get slammed with a Mac desktop. For you … I ALWAYS pass up free tail for YOU. I could be neck deep in kittens, puppies, kids … you name it! Could be an alpha male of whatever pack I choose … but I stick around here … getting my butt kicked by practically every bad guy we face. And you know why?
It's for you Robin. Duh.
Fuck … I'm not crying. I'm really not. Not like you'd notice even if I was. Just something in my eye … that's all.
…
Hey, Robin … Did you hear about the wish that went deaf?
He had to buy a herring aid!
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I'm not crying, I swear. Just really dusty in here. And could you at least GLANCE up from the TV while I'm bearing my soul to you … please?
And when I was in the laundry room earlier, I totally wasn't thinking about drinking the bleach. Just trying to figure out how to get a grass stain out of my costume. I know Cy offered to show me how, but I just thought I'd tackle the problem on my own … ya know?
…
And, you know Robin I was just kidding about all that tail stuff. I don't want to do it with an animal … I'm better then that. It's why I've been waiting for you to notice me. That's why I'm smiling all the time you know … it's for you buddy boy. Only reason I'm here now is because of you. Well … that, and where the hell else is a freak like me supposed to go?
…
Hey, Robin … What does Santa say when goes fox hunting?
Tally hohoho!
And that wasn't a sniffle dude. Just a new breathing routine. Helps me change shape, ya know? God, I suck so bad at this. I'm so sorry I wasted your time dude. How's about I just click off the boobtube, put your water in the fridge, then curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep … and we can start again fresh tomorrow? I'll smile, you can grin, and I'll pretend tonight never happened …
Just like last night … or last week …
… just like every night …
…
Hey … Robin, what kind of monkey can fly?
A hot air baboon. … ha-ha, right? Pretty funny huh?
Maybe one of these nights I'll even have the guts to actually say all this in a language you can understand. Maybe one of these nights you'll wake up and realize that the green Doberman cleaning up your mess isn't just a dream. Maybe one of these nights you'll actually smile for me … one night you'll actually say you love me …
… yeah, I know. Ha-fucking-ha. But hey, one of us has to be the funny one, right dude? And we all know it sure ain't you.
…
Hey dude … Guess what kind of moron is head over heels for you?
Yup-yup. It's me.
Ha-fucking-ha … right?
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Author's notes-
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Not quite sure why I wrote this. I think I just wanted to play with a different series, and try writing something in stream of consciousness without a prompt (and Beast Boy's speech patterns were always fun to play with … especially if I didn't censor him).
Anywho, real point of the author's notes … DISCLAIMER … I own nothing.
