Chapter 1: I just wanted to say... sorry


"Takuto… I'm telling you this as a friend. You may not want to admit it yourself, but you need to get help," Wakaoji reminded him for the umpteenth time.

"Damn it, Keiichi! I don't need anyone's help or…ahh" Takuto winced at the pain and grasped his throat hoping to ease the pain. Wakaoji frowned, his facial features showing concern as he waited a few minutes for the pain in Takuto's throat to subside. Takuto continued with a softer voice, "I'm sorry Keiichi, but I can't go on through with that operation. You know my voice is everything to me. I know you want me to live, but how do you expect me to in a world without singing? It's everything to me, my career, my passion… I thought, of all people, you would understand me the most."

"Takuto," Wakaoji sighed. Why does he have to be so stubborn? He can find another passion if he continues living. Dying won't do any good besides making everyone around him sad. "I'll leave it at that for now, but if you ever do change your mind… please talk to me as soon as possible." Wakaoji, know that it's another futile attempt on his part, turned and made towards the door. I'll see you again tomorrow to check on you throat."

Takuto smiled sadly and nodded. No matter how many times he asks me, the answer will still be the same. I truly 'live' when I sing and I won't give it up.


The next morning, Wakaoji woke up early, 4:30 in fact. He didn't know why, but he had a strange feeling all about him. The whole room was cold, even though all the windows were tightly shut. He had made sure of it the previous night. He can't quite put his foot on it, but this eerie feeling…, feels like death.

Premonition or not, he decided to go have his check up with Takuto earlier than the time that they planned. He knew that Takuto is a morning person so he should be up by 6:30.

Wakaoji started up his white car and proceeded towards Takuto's apartment. He noticed that there were a lot of clouds in the dark sky and presumed that it will rain soon. Strange, he didn't recall that from the forecast yesterday. He clearly remembered that it was to be sunny today. When he arrived to his front door, no one answered. Wakaoji's face changed to one of confusion. He has to be home. He has no where to go to in the morning and he assured me that he won't leave the house until I come to check out his throat every morning.

Wakaoji started to get worried and decided to unlock the door using the spare key. Takuto once told him where he hid the spare key but he couldn't quite remember so Wakaoji had to hunt for it. Knowing his friend, he would place it some easy location: the doormat. Sure enough, sewn into the doormat was the spare key. Takuto was so predictable.

Wakaoji opened the door to find it unlit and quiet. He walked into the living room and turned on the lights.

"Takuto," he called.

His eyes scanned the room and found a lot of music sheets strewn all over the hardwood floor. His eyes followed the relative position of the papers and soon focused onto the unconscious Takuto.

"Takuto!" Wakaoji frantically ran to Takuto and shook him. "Wake up Takuto!"

Takuto didn't wake up and was limp in Wakaoji's arms. Okay, I mustn't panic. He's breathing, but his pulse is weak. And judging from the music papers, he must have sung out loud. Uh… Takuto you idiot! You're putting you life in danger again!

Wakaoji quickly carried Takuto onto his back to his car to rush him into the hospital. Hang in there buddy.


Two days later, Takuto woke up to a lot of white. He looked around at the relatively small room. Where am I? This looks like… a hospital. Realization finally hits him. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He eyes grew big for a fraction of a second and then it turned to one of pure anger and hurt. He…he went on with the operation! How could he? Keiichi, I trusted you to respect my feelings!

Takuto pulled away all the monitors attached to him and bolted out the room. He used the fire escape stairway so that he could avoid the nurses' questionings. It wouldn't be long until they find him gone.

Takuto caught a taxi and told the man to take him back home to his apartment. When he walked in he dumped himself ungracefully on to the black sofa. He covered his moistening eyes with his arm and tried to sort out all that had happen. The last thing he remembered was that he was practicing sing when his throat had another attack. He must have been unconscious when Keiichi came in and took him to the hospital. Then he operated on me, Takuto thought sadly.

"ARRRRRRRR…..." he tried to scream out in frustration but with no avail. No sound came out. I need to escape.


Takuto grabbed his red helmet from the table. Right when he was about to open the door, his eye caught the black permanent marker on the table. He unscrewed the cap and on the light maple kitchen table he wrote the following words:

Keiichi,

You'll be disappointed with my actions but you have let me down as well. Of all the people, I thought you would understand…

Keiichi, I owe you a lot and I will repay you in my next life; if I get one.

I'll tell Aoi and Hazuki that you said 'hi'.

Takuto Kira


It was raining hard now and Takuto rode his motorcycle to nowhere in particular. He was driving blindly and the fact that the rain was lashing against his helmet didn't help either. Many things were running inside his mind, like a mini movie theater, replaying all the moments he had with his band member and the joy of singing. I can't go on anymore.

The dangerous bend in the road was coming and Takuto knew it. Many victims have fallen prey to the bend, oblivious that it was there. But Takuto was different. He knew what was coming and he even intentionally sped up. My voice is everything to me. "Or is it?" another voice, definitely not his own, questioned tauntingly. Right at that moment, another flashback swept across his mind. It was still with his Route' L friends but this time, it wasn't focused on singing. It was the moments that they had together having pure fun: going to the movies, arcades, and even chucking food all over the place at his 16th birthday party. I'm letting them down, Takuto thought and quickly tried to swerve his motorcycle to avoid the dark abyss below him.

But it was too late. He lost his balance and due to the high speed that he was in a few minutes before, he and his bike slid 10 feet on the dirt ground and plunged into the dark ravine.


"Takuto Kira," that same divine voice from before called out.

"Wha? Where am I? Takuto managed to stutter. Was he dead?

"You are nowhere right now. Limbo if you will. This is a place where souls like yours come to haggle about their afterlife."

Takuto was as confused as ever. Why is this so complicated? Either I'm dead or I'm not. What is with this "bargaining" deal?

"You have a choice Takuto Kira. You have ended you life with your own free will, but have realized that you have left behind something more invaluable than your reason for dying. I will make a deal with you. Either you become a Shinigami as your punishment, or you can choose to relive the thing you dread the most again. Must I must warn you, if you react the same way again, you will remain as a Shinigami forever."

A second chance at living? I will do anything to live again and say sorry for what I have done to Keiichi.

"But of course, there is more to the second deal," the glowing goddess said interrupting his train of thought, "You will also lose the thing you later find to love most. Choose wisely Takuto Kira. After you have made you choice, there is no turning back."


A/N: This storyline is actually one of my favorites. I know it's been a while since I last updated and honestly, I forgot what my original plot was so if you read the original story, you'll notice that it's a bit different. I've changed the wording to make it more cryptic, allowing more possibilities in later chapters. Please read and review with constructive criticisms.