Let me tell you a story.
We have this rack of paper bags in the back of class. What we can't say to others faces, we write it down on a note and put it in their bag. I got so many when we put the bags up. It was all nice things that people thought of me. That was until the rumors started. Everything changed. Everything. Nice comments turned into bad ones. Smiles turned into frowns. Love changed to hate. My friends turned into enemies. I had gotten a haircut. No notes. I waited two weeks. Nothing. Someone I trusted. Took what was left of the people who respected me. Well the notes of the people who respected me. That person took the little encouragement I had left. That hurt. It really hurt. Everyday I got to class. I thought what's the point of checking if there's nothing to check for? First my friends. Then my trust. My courage. Now my encouragement. Really? Why? Why would they do that? Why would they take my notes. Its like whoever was taking them. Wanted to see me break. But one day. I walked into class, for the first time, I saw the possibilities in giving up. I even found hope in it. Will I ever get control of my life? Will I always be shoved back and pushed around by those I trust? It may seem that every time someone offers you a hand up, they just let go and you slip further down. I tried to get help. Sometimes there's nothing left to do but move on.
My heart and my trust were in the process of collapsing. And that collapse created a vacuum in my chest. I needed a break... from
myself. I've decided to find out how people at school might react if one of the students never came back.
I got what I came for. He's not helping me. He's letting me go. I think I made myself very clear, but no one's stepping forward to stop me. A lot of you cared, just not enough. And that… that is what I needed to find out. And I'm sorry…
Thank You…
