CHAPTER ONE: MY EYES ARE OPEN

Bellas POV

It All Belongs TO SM


And as I closed my eyes I swallowed a hard gulp of air and waited for my destiny jump, it never came. Instead a hard, warm pair of hands looped around my side and the shallowness I once felt a few seconds ago vanished. I never thought I wanted the adrenaline rush to disappear, along with the too much familiar voice, but a sense of security ran through my veins wiping out all of what was left of that rush left inside me. I couldn't think of anything to say because I knew exactly who it was behind me and my carelessness would probably hurt his feelings because I hadn't waiten for him. We waited in silence, me hoping he would be the first to break it.

"So, you just couldn't wait a few minutes. Huh, Bella?" his voice was so smooth. I've never noticed how much deeper it was becoming. "But you might have to wait to explain yourself. We're going to the Clearwaters. Harry had a heart attack." his voice lowered. A sound of sorrowed seeped through his last statement.

'Harry had a heart attack.' those words played over in my head as we made our way back to my truck. There was no shame to hide the urge to hold his hand, but it sure did break the tension when Jacob finally twined his rough, large fingers through mine. I was completely breakable, yet so safe to his touch.

We headed down the patch of road towards the reservation as my truck nearly gave up on us. We decided to drop it of at the little red house Jacob called 'home'. I didn't want to do much walking so Jake came across the idea of taking the bikes out for the spin.

"Jake, you know Charlie will flip! And I'm not so sure I want to do this on my own anytime soon." it wasn't that I didn't want to ride the bikes, I just didn't want that memory to ease through the barrier I know upheld. I was truly trying to get past my mentally unstable state of mind and the only way to do this was to rid my mind of the horrors, even if it would be unbearably tough.

"Then you ride with me." he threw the helmet at me and reflexively I reached my arms out knowing damned well I had little chance of actually getting a grip on it. I was waiting for the thump on the floor but, it never came.

"How is this supposed to save your life if it's broken, Bells?" a comical laugh escaped his throat as he slid the helmet over my head.

He got on the bike first; making sure it was sturdy enough for me to get on. Jacob extended an arm to help me on and once my leg went over to the other side the engine was roaring like... well ... like a wolves howl.

Leah opened the door and tried to smile as she treated us kindly. I could tell by the redness in her eyes that it wasn't easy to put on a show for the visitors who now offered their solitudes to them.

"Your father will be here in a few short hours. Thanks for coming." she sounded sick. Leah led us to the small living area that held more people than I thought should even be considered on being there. Her last sentence was one on repetition. She had grown so fond of saying that in the last few hours that it just became a part of her greeting now.

I felt like an outcast. Everyone around here was all native to the land. I felt a little but of pride knowing that I knew a secret no one else had, except the secrets themselves. But I still had a little sense that I just didn't belong here, until Jacob came and stood beside me. I felt the heat radiate from his body like a sun beaming its rays only to me.

It felt good to have him here. Like he was my own little sun in the coldest of days. The only thing that can make me happy at this most sorrow filled time. How can I be so happy right now when Harry had just died? But as I looked around the room I was not the only one smiling; everyone seemed to be happy. Not because Harry was gone but because they were there with each other. They had their own little reason to see light on this dull occasion. I glanced over to the tall russet colored boy beside me. He looked more like a man than a boy now but I knew him for what he really was.

It was so beautiful to see how unashamed Jacob was to hold me in front of people. In front of his people. Right now I needed someone to help me see me through my troubles. To be a holding hand when I felt exactly like this. And there Jake was, by my side never to leave me alone.

"Charlie called. Said he was going to be here soon. He's really tired. I think you should just go home as well, get some rest Bells." Jacob was the most precious face I've seemed in this house. The words he'd said were full of innocent concern, that of... for me.

"Thanks, Jake. Charlie must be beat. I still can't believe this had to happen like this." I put my head on his shoulder and he held me close to his chest. I heard the beating of his heart like a rhythm of sanctuary. I listened to it more as I let it overcome my senses leaving me at my most vulnerable state yet. It wasn't like him. It wasn't cold and restless. It wasn't untamed and tampered with. Jake had something he didn't. Jake had the warmth and comfort that I needed. The heated sensation that I was sure would probably bring me back to life if I ever died.

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