Warnings: Each chapter corresponds to an episode of the show, starting with 2.09 – Special Education. Total number of chapters is undetermined at this moment, since in theory I could go on writing this for as long as Finn and Kurt live in the same house. I just don't know if I'll want to.
Thanks: To my beta, the lovely Teka Lynn. I don't know what I'd do without her.
A/N: The show is somewhat unclear about several details, so, for the sake of clarity: in the setting of this story, the Hudsons moved back in with the Hummels right after Burt and Carole's wedding. Also, Kurt never boarded at Dalton. So please imagine that Kurt's line to Rachel in Special Education, "So how's Finn? I feel bad, I haven't spoken to him since the wedding" actually was "So how are things going with you and Finn? I feel bad, I haven't had an opportunity to have an actual conversation with him since the wedding, nothing more meaningful than good-morning, pass-the-salt, and good-night, even though we're living in the same house and sharing a room."
Chapter 1 – Of Parties and Betrayals
1.
"I thought you might be interested in a hot drink."
Finn stopped playing on his makeshift drums — actually three hardcover books, a shoe box and a bottle of aftershave displayed on his bed — and looked up to see Kurt coming down the stairs into their shared room in the basement, still in uniform, his hair just slightly unkempt, one steaming mug in each hand. "You're only getting home now? Wow. Those prep boys must party hard!"
Kurt snorted. "That's one way of putting it. I assume Mr. Schuester took the New Directions to celebrate at Breadstix?"
"Nah, I think he was scared that we'd all start fighting again and didn't want us to make a scene or something. So we went to his place and ordered lots and lots of pizza."
"Fighting?" Kurt handed him one of the mugs. "Careful, might be too hot."
Finn frowned at the murky liquid inside the mug. "What's this?"
"Green tea. It's good for lowering cholesterol, and helps to prevent cancer and acne."
"Oh." Finn still kept scowling at it, though.
"So, fighting, you said?" Kurt looked highy curious, but he made his way to the opposite side of the bedroom. "Did I have anything to do with that?"
"You? Why?"
"I may have let it slip to Rachel that she wasn't the first to find out about your brief liaison with Santana," Kurt murmured, not facing Finn.
"Oh. That." Finn sighed. "Yeah, it kinda had something to do with it."
"I'm so sorry, Finn. In my defense, I had no idea it was a secret. I heard it from six different sources before joining the Cheerios and realizing everyone there knew about it already. I mean, dating a younger guy was one of Coach Sylvester's assignments, so bragging about it was pretty much implied." He sat down on the oval chair, a pensive look on his face. "I guess Rachel really doesn't talk to that many people if she still didn't know. Anyway. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, dude. I guess I shouldn't have lied to her in the first place. I just didn't want to hurt her feelings, you know?" Finn arched an eyebrow. "Because, you know, she gets really scary when she's hurt and angry. Like, in a witch from Sleeping Beauty kind of way."
Kurt tilted his head to one side. "I dare say Maleficent plays her wrath with considerably more gravitas, but on the other hand, her main grievance and the reason why she decided to resort to murder was that she wasn't invited to a baby shower, so... yeah."
Finn shrugged. "Anyway, it wasn't just Rachel. There was some drama going on with Brittany, Artie, Mike and Tina too... and Mercedes was super bitter about not getting a solo again... We were all at each other's throats before going onstage, until Mr. Schue came in and told us to get a grip and focus on the performance." Finn gazed sadly into his mug. "He was so disappointed in us."
"For whatever is worth, watching you guys perform, I'd never have guessed there was trouble brewing under the surface. Everyone's show face was impeccable. Well, Rachel was staring at you with oh-so-dramatic eyes, but that's hardly new. And Mr. Schue was sitting right behind Blaine and me, and he was clearly, loudly happy with you all by the end of your first number."
Finn's lips curved in a smile. "Yeah. Later at the party he said how proud he was that we pulled through. And super happy because this was the first time he was actually there to see us win a competition."
"So no one made a scene at the party after all?"
"Nope. Artie and Brittany made up, Tina and Mike too, Mercedes was happy that we won and that you didn't have to lose for that to happen... and I think Rachel and I will be okay. So we basically ate, like, a ton of pizza, and sang all the group numbers we've ever done since Don't Stop Believin', until Mr. Schue's neighbor started banging on the wall." Finn sent Kurt a tense look. "Except for, like, Bad Romance and Time Warp, you know, songs you had solo parts in? No one wanted to be the one to replace you. Not even Rachel."
"Fortunately for you guys, I can count the songs in that category on only one hand," said Kurt acidly.
"What about you, how did the Warblers celebrate our tie? Are you hung over? Is that why you're drinking tea?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I drink a cup of green tea every day." He seemed a little annoyed that his stepbrother hadn't noticed that fact yet. "And no, there was no consumption of alcoholic beverages. Although I've been told..." Kurt's tone suddenly turned mockingly professorial. "...that red wine was briefly part of the celebratory traditions, between the end of Prohibition and 1935, when drinking was rendered illegal for kids under 18 in Ohio."
Finn looked confused. "The Warblers have a tradition for celebrating ties at Sectionals?"
"I think it's more like a general Dalton-Academy-Is-Ever-Victorious celebratory tradition. But don't quote me on that. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Dalton had specific traditions for each kind of total or partial victory a school can possibly obtain. There might be a five-volume manual on Dalton parties only. Which Wes probably knows by heart. I'd ask him, but I'm too afraid he'd quote it for me, start to finish."
Finn looked even more confused.
"We went back to school," said Kurt, "where we were received by the headmaster, members of the school board and a group of alumni. There were speeches. We didn't have a trophy to add to the trophy room, because Mr. Schue was faster and took it away, but we had a certificate from the state show choir committee stating that we did win Midwestern Ohio Sectionals 2011, and this certificate was solemnly placed inside this big trophy case. David said the committee should send us our own trophy in a couple of days. Hopefully there won't be more speeches then."
"That doesn't sound like fun."
"Then we were invited into the cafeteria, where there was a feast waiting for us. And I do mean 'feast'. A four-course meal: butternut squash soup, duck-breast salad, braised lamb with mint sauce, and blueberry cheesecake."
"You're kidding."
"Nope. Blaine was right. The Warblers are like rock stars at Dalton." Kurt sipped his tea gingerly. "I've been told to expect an enthusiastic welcome from the other students Monday morning."
"Slushies?"
"Confetti."
"Man, that's like Twilight Zone."
"It's certainly a different experience. And after the headmaster left, we went back outside and formed a circle around the fountain in the front garden. There we sang the school anthem in six-part harmony. All twenty-four stanzas of it."
"Does McKinley even have an anthem?"
Kurt smirked, and raised his voice into a triumphant march.
.
O McKinley High, McKinley!
We're the pride of great Ohio,
Work so hard and smile so thinly.
We learn the rules to go by, oh,
Strive to reach minimum standards.
Yay! McKinley crushed the Spaniards!
.
"Does 'Spaniards' really rhyme with 'standards'?" asked Finn.
"The least of its flaws."
"Is that why it took you so long to come back? Because their school song is super long?"
"Well, that, and also the celebration didn't end with the singing. After that, per tradition... we removed our coats, our blazers and our ties..."
"Were you still in the garden?"
"Yes."
"But it's December."
"That fact didn't go unnoticed, I assure you." Kurt breathed in the hot steam coming from his mug, shivering a little.
"But that was all, right? You guys didn't go naked or anything weird like that, right?"
"No on the naked, yes on the weird."
Finn looked really worried now. "Kurt?"
Kurt closed his eyes tightly, his lips contorting in a disgusted grimace. "We dunked our heads into the water in the fountain."
"But... it's December!"
"Indeed it is. And the water was freezing. And not exactly clean."
Finn blinked. "You let them dip your head in dirty water? You?"
"Well... yes."
"You sure there wasn't something weird in the water?" Suddenly Finn's eyes widened like saucers. "Oh man, it was a brainwashing fountain! That's what makes the Warblers sing and dance and walk and even dress like they're one single person! That water turns kids into singing zombies! And now they've got you!"
Kurt's eyebrows arched bemusedly. "Seriously, Finn. Do I look like a zombie to you?"
Finn kept staring at Kurt, as if bracing himself for the moment his stepbrother would jump on him, all teeth and nails, and try to suck Finn's brains out through his ears.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Just drink your tea, Finn."
"Oh my God, is that what this is?" Finn shrieked, stretching his arms to keep the mug away from his face. "Is that why it's green? Because it's zombiefying water from the Dalton fountain, and you're trying to turn me into one of them too?"
"Finn, for the love..." Kurt shook his head, and took a deep, calming breath. "Fine, let's play this game. If the Dalton fountain turned people into zombies, wouldn't the Warblers have turned me into one before Sectionals?"
"Uh..."
"And wouldn't I then have turned you too before Sectionals, therefore leaving the New Directions one member short?"
"Hmmm..."
"Hey, why even stop there? I could have invited you all for a tea party and, as you said, 'zombiefied' the very last one of you."
"Okay, fine," Finn mumbled. "You have a point."
"Drink your tea. I promise you, it's not poisoned or harmful to you in any way."
"But it's green."
"Yes, Finn, it's green tea," said Kurt patiently.
"Mom always told me I shouldn't eat stuff when they're still green. That I should wait for them to be ripe."
"Is that why you never eat lettuce or broccoli?"
"Well, yes. And because they taste funny when they finally start to get yellow."
Kurt let out a long-suffering sigh. "Just try it, okay? Please?"
Finn bit his lower lip, sniffed the mug, scowled, braced himself, and finally took a tiny, courageous sip. "Bleargh!"
"That coming from the boy who diets on Doritos and Sour Patch Kids." A lock of hair fell over Kurt's eyes, and the boy promptly smoothed it back in place. The result was still a far cry from his usual impeccable coiffure.
"I still can't believe you agreed to stick your head into a dirty fountain."
"Neither can I," said Kurt with a strange laugh.
Finn looked immediately concerned. "Wait. Did they force you...?"
Kurt dismissed the idea with a wave. "No, no, nothing of the sort. They didn't order me to do it either, they didn't even ask. They just did it to themselves."
"And then they kept staring at you, waiting for you to do it too," said Finn knowingly. "That's how Puck gets me to do crazy stuff sometimes."
"Actually, no. I don't think anyone was even looking at me."
"Then why did you do it?"
Kurt shrugged. "They were all having so much fun."
"Fun?"
"They were all running around and shaking their heads like wet dogs, splashing water all around, laughing and jumping and dancing and acting like... like boys! I mean, Wes and Thad were putting on airs and saying the only reason they would even consider playing in the fountain was because that's what some pre-historical group of Warblers did after Dalton won its first ever singing competition... but even they couldn't pretend they weren't having a blast. And there I was, just standing back and watching... and feeling like an idiot. Like an outsider, but mostly like an idiot, because I was the one holding back and making myself an outsider." Kurt leaned back into the chair, folding his legs under him. "And Blaine... he said something to me a couple of days ago... about fitting in. I thought... maybe I should give the whole Dalton experience a fair chance, you know?"
"So you dipped your hair, and your face, in dirty, freezing water. You."
"And as soon as you've gone to bed, I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom for three hours or so, and use every last product in my hair and skin care arsenal to try to undo the damage. And believe me, if by tomorrow I notice that this incident has marred my appearance in any way, by Monday morning there will no longer be a fountain in the front garden of Dalton Academy."
Finn grinned. "Yep! You're you. Definitely not a zombie."
Kurt smiled back. "Anyway. Finally, we went back inside, where there were clean towels waiting for us. Thad ordered us to put the blazers and ties back on, and we gathered in the seniors' common room, where Wes made a surprisingly nice and mercifully short speech. Then, those of us who had performed as Warblers for the first time received this." He pointed to a badge pinned to his blazer's lapel, with the image of a canary and two sixteenth notes.
"Nice!"
"Yeah."
"I guess..." Finn cleared his throat, fighting a sudden huskiness in his voice. "I guess you're really one of them now."
Kurt allowed himself to slump a little in the chair. "I suppose."
The two boys remained silent for a moment, gazing somberly at their mugs.
"It was great seeing you on that stage," said Finn eventually. "You guys were so good. The voices, the rhythm, everything so... together, you know? I wasn't really expecting the Warblers to be that good."
"No? Why not? I told the New Directions they were good after my 'spy mission'."
"Yeah, but you were pissed at us for not using any of your ideas for the boys' mash-up, so, I don't know, you just seemed a little too pleased saying that we sucked in comparison."
"I didn't say you sucked. I merely stated that the Warblers' harmonies were flawless and a lot more complex than those in the New Directions' usual repertoire."
"That's Kurt Hummel for 'you suck'," Finn laughed. "I guess I just expected this year's Sectionals to be just like last year, you know? Then both Haverbrook and Jane Addams felt the need to cheat to be on our level, and still we won. Plus, Mr. Schue spent the last week talking about how the Warblers and the Hipsters were terrible dancers, so I guess I wasn't thinking enough about their voices." He shrugged. "I grew placental."
Kurt suppressed a smile. "I think you mean 'complacent'."
"Yeah, that. But the Warblers totally rocked. And you were amazing."
"Just part of the team," Kurt whispered.
"A winning team. You should be proud."
"I am. And I'm proud of you guys too. Regionals should be veeeeery interesting."
"Yeah."
"Finn?"
"Hmmm?"
"You're not drinking your tea."
"Do I have to?"
Kurt's only response was a glare.
Finn recoiled under his stepbrother's reproaching expression, brought the mug to his lips with a little whimper, and tasted it again. "Guh!"
Kurt was clearly trying not to laugh at Finn's dramatic grimace. "You remind me of that video from YouTube that Mercedes showed me a few months back, 'Babies Eating Lemons for the First Time'."
Finn coughed. "I saw that. And I totally thought those parents were super mean to make their babies eat lemons just to see them make funny faces." He sent Kurt a meaningful glare of his own.
Kurt giggled, got to his feet and came to stand near Finn's bed with his hand stretched out. "All right, you big baby. Give it back, it was not my intention to torture you."
Finn relinquished the mug with a sigh of relief. "Sorry, dude. It might be good for my bacne and all, but milk is more my thing."
"Milk?"
"Yeah. Warm milk."
"Milk." Kurt seemed a little irked at the idea. "Are you serious?"
"What? It's delicious!"
.
2.
The noise sounded like cannons firing inside a silo, but in reality it was just Finn stomping down the stairs with a frightening scowl in his face.
"Jeez, Finn, quiet down, will you?" Kurt hissed. "You're going to wake up Pavarotti."
Finn halted at the landing, staring at his stepbrother in disbelief. "What the hell, dude? You have a guy sleeping in here? In our bedroom?"
Kurt waved frantically for Finn to stop yelling, then pointed at the cage on Kurt's desk, encased in a beige nylon cover. "Pavarotti is a canary, Finn. I told you about him."
Finn frowned. "The Warblers' mascot they made you take care of?"
"Exactly."
"And why the hell is it here?"
"Please, lower your voice, Finn," Kurt whispered.
"No, I'm not lowering my voice! Dammit, Kurt, you promised! Until Burt gets the new house, this is our room, and you said there'd be no more surprise redecorations."
"Pavarotti is a living being, Finn, not a desk lamp."
"Same thing! You can't decide to keep a pet in here and not ask me about it!" Finn dropped his school backpack on the floor and kicked it to a corner. "You just... you never ask me about things! You just go and do it, and I'm supposed to be okay with everything you pull. That's not cool, dude!"
Kurt flinched, hands balling into tight fists. He took a deep breath, stood up taut as a bowstring, and said in a low, hurt tone, "Fine. I'm sorry. I will put him upstairs in the living room. Better yet, I'll sleep in the couch. That way I can watch over him, while you have the bedroom all for yourself and your nasty mood." With that, he started collecting pillows, blankets, and sheets to take upstairs.
"Kurt, don't." Finn huffed. "Our parents will think we were fighting again, and I don't want to upset them."
"Oh, you mean we're not fighting? Well, then I guess I was misled by all your shouting."
Finn closed his eyes, took a calming breath. "I'm sorry. Okay? I had a really, really, really lousy day."
"Well, thank goodness Pavarotti is not a dog, then. You'd probably have kicked him at the door when he tried to greet you."
"Come on, I'd never kick a dog," said Finn self-consciously. "Chairs, sometimes, but never a dog."
Kurt put the bedclothes down. "I'm sorry I didn't consult you about Pavarotti. He's not well, and I'm worried about him, and I was so focused on getting him comfortable that I forgot everything else."
"Wait, is it sick?"
"Not exactly. He's molting."
"But that's normal, right? I mean, I don't know a thing about birds, but..."
"Blaine said it's normal, that he'll be fine in no time and that I shouldn't worry," said Kurt, very carefully smoothing a crease on the cage cover. "But from what I've been reading online, normal would be for him to molt in the summer, when it's warm and the days are longer. Molting out of season apparently means something happened to make him think it's summer. Maybe he's been exposed to too much light or abrupt changes of temperature... That's why I brought him home. To guarantee a stable environment, with proper temperature, away from drafts, and where I can monitor his sleep hours."
Finn gazed at the covered cage with concern. "But he's going to be okay, right?"
"He should be. Yes, absolutely," said Kurt, failing to sound as confident as his words implied.
"My 3rd grade class had a turtle as a pet," said Finn. "Her name was Belinda. Mom would never let me have a pet, so I liked feeding her and stuff. One day, puff, she was gone."
"She died?"
"No, she just disappeared. Puck told the teacher Belinda must have escaped through the air ducts at night, but..." Finn shrugged.
"Say no more," said Kurt dryly. "I don't want to know."
Finn toed off his sneakers and flopped down on his bed with a dramatic huff, hiding his face on a pillow.
"Did you eat?" asked Kurt. "I had dinner with some of the Warblers, and our parents won't be home in a while. I could make you something."
Finn's voice, muffed by the pillow, was barely intelligible."Not hungry."
"You? Not hungry?" Kurt stared at Finn in shock. "Are you ill?"
"No. Just not hungry."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Just leave me alone, will ya?"
Kurt remained standing where he was, eyeing Finn with growing anxiety. "Finn?"
"What?"
"What happened to make your day 'really, really, really lousy'?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
Kurt opened his mouth to say something else, but after a moment he just nodded and sat down at his desk. After another worried glance at his stepbrother, he opened his books to start on his homework.
The silence lasted for about eight minutes.
"Kurt... Do you think Puck is hot?"
"What?" Kurt choked.
Finn rolled over in his bed to lie on his back. "Puck. Do you think he's hot?"
"Uh... well... hmm... why, why are you asking me that?"
"Because he has all those girls and cougars fawning over him, and he definitely thinks he's the sexiest thing that's ever existed... and, I don't know, I wish someone would tell me what's so special about him."
"So you're asking me?"
"Well, you would know, right? What makes a guy hot."
"Finn, there is such a thing as personal taste, ever heard of it? Puck... not really my cup of tea."
"Really," said Finn in a skeptical tone. "So even if he played on your team, you'd not be interested."
Kurt twirled his pen between his fingers, giving the issue some thought. "He has nice arms. But whatever attractive traits he may have are cancelled entirely by his horrible, horrible hair."
"You don't dig the mohawk?" Finn asked with a smirk.
"And I wasn't impressed by his looks when he had his whole head shaved either. I wonder what his hair would look like if he let it grow properly."
"He had curly hair up until 6th grade."
"Really? Do you have pictures?"
"Mom must have a few."
"I'll definitely ask her about them. Too bad I didn't have any in my possession before, when he was still throwing me into dumpsters. It might have been useful as blackmail material." Kurt snorted. "And that's another reason why Puck fails to charm me. His bad-boy attitude is totally lost on me. I like boys who treat me with kindness."
Finn gazed down at his own hands, a guilty look in his eyes. "I used to treat you like crap."
"That's not true, you..." Kurt trailed off, putting the pen down. "Well, maybe it was. I could tell you didn't pride yourself in tormenting me, unlike Puck and the others, and you were occasionally nice to me. Usually when no one else was watching. At the time... I thought it was enough." He shrugged. "Being at Dalton is making me realize I had a very warped understanding of kindness and acceptance."
"So you're saying that you only thought I was hotter than Puck because I held your designer jackets before we tossed you in the dumpster."
Kurt turned around on his seat, looking at Finn in exasperation. "You don't seriously want to have a discussion about the reasons why I think... thought you were hot."
Finn let out a long sigh, staring sadly at the ceiling. "Guess not."
"What's troubling you, Finn? Where's all this coming from?"
Finn's reply barely made it out his mouth through gritted teeth. "Rachel cheated on me with Puck."
Kurt gaped for good half a minute before finding his voice again. "Oh my... Are you kidding? What am I saying, of course you're not kidding. Finn, I'm so sorry!"
"Yeah..."
"I can't... How could this happen? Two days ago you were telling me you and Rachel were patching things up."
"I thought we were. But then I said there should be no more lying between us, and that's when she dropped that bomb on me. She said she wanted to hurt me as much as I hurt her by sleeping with Santana. And she completely forgets the fact that she was with Jesse at the time!"
"Did she actually, you know, sleep with Puck?"
Finn let out a humorless chuckle. "No. Because Puck stopped. Because he felt bad for stealing my girlfriend. Again."
Kurt looked horrified. "Gosh, Finn, this is awful. No wonder you're so upset."
"Why do they keep choosing him over me? I know he's smarter than me, but still..."
Kurt got on his feet and started moving towards his stepbrother, but then seemed to think better of it and sat back on the desk chair. "Listen... I think you're looking at this from the wrong perspective. From what you're telling me, and from what I know about what happened with Quinn, neither she nor Rachel went to Puck because they were in love with him, or even because they liked him better than they liked you. They were both upset about something in their lives, and they thought that one moment of foolishness with Puck would make them feel better about themselves. And look how well that went for both of them."
"So what should I do?"
"What do you feel like doing?"
Finn breathed in and out deeply, slowly. "...nothing."
"Then do nothing, I say. For once, this is not your mess to fix. Give it time."
Finn nodded, still staring at the ceiling, and said nothing.
Kurt kept watching him for a few moments, and was about to turn back to his homework when Finn spoke again. "I lied to you."
"When?"
"Saturday, after Sectionals. When I said I liked seeing you perform with the Warblers." Finn sat up on the bed, hugging his knees. "I mean, you guys were awesome. But it sucked too. Because you should've been with us, not them."
"I missed you guys too," Kurt admitted. "It was the first time I didn't feel at home on stage. It was fun, it really was, but... I don't know. I saw you guys in the audience and I felt so, so guilty. Like I was..."
"Cheating on us?"
Kurt winced. "Yes."
"I thought I'd feel betrayed seeing you with a different glee club. I thought I'd have to force myself to applaud the Warblers' performance, you know, be a good sport, like Mr. Schue told us to. But when it started... I just wanted to join you on stage."
Kurt smiled. "Well, I suppose even you could handle that choreography."
"And when it was over, I wanted to take you by the hand and drag you to perform with us. Because that was how it should have been... if I had gotten my head out of my ass in time to stop Karofsky before things got so out of control."
"Oh, Finn..."
"It's so strange seeing you in uniform."
"It's strange being in uniform," Kurt agreed. "It's also strange that I don't feel nearly as suffocated by it as I once thought I'd be. I don't know," he murmured, "maybe my 'give it time' advice goes for me too."
Finn nodded, offering him a gloomy half-smile.
Kurt clapped his hands together, and jumped to his feet. "Enough of this somber mood. I'm going upstairs to prepare my tea. Would you like some warm milk?"
Finn grinned, grateful. "Yeah, bro. Thanks."
###
A/N 2: 'Babies Eating Lemons for the First Time': youtube. com/ watch?v=7yHejN1korE
