Numb. Buzzing. Light? No...This isn't right. No. No. No. Get up, Bella. Get up. No. Light. I should already be up. Numb. I can't move. Push, hurts. Push. Light?

"Breathe, Bella. Breathe!"

Wait. Breathe, Bella. I thought I was. Bella?

"Come on, Breathe!"

That isn't me. It hurts. Numb. Buzzing. I breathed, better. Air in. Air out. Burns, numb. Buzz.

"There you go, Bella. Can you hear me?"

Yes. I don't think I am heard. Air in. Air out. Who's Bella?

"Bella, my name is Agent Cullen. Can you hear me?"

Yes. I said yes. Cullen, do I know you? No. I know no one. I am no one. Buzzing.

"Can you open your eyes for me, please?"

Light. No. Yes. I should be up. Burns, oh how it burns. Air in, air out. I open my eyes. Light, I close them.

"Come on Bella, that's it. Please sweet heart, open them again for me?"

I do.

"There we go. I never thought I would see those beautiful eyes again."

He looks sad. Hair. His eyes. Do I know him? No. I know no one. I am no one. Burn. Numb.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"I am no one." I croak. My voice, it's off. I want to close my eyes. I start to.

"No! Keep your eyes open Bella!"

"Bella? No. I am no one."

"Your name is Bella. You are someone."

"Bella."

"Yes, my name is Edward."

"Edward Cullen."

"Do you remember me?"

"No. I know no one." Burn. Air in, air out.

"It's okay. Try to stay awake, okay? Are you in any pain?"

"No." Yes.

"Agent Cullen to Agent Swan." The man spoke into a small black box.

Swan? No, I am an ugly duckling. Air in, air out. Tired. Numb. Burn.

"Agent Swan here. I am about 200 yards away."

"Agent Swan, please approach with caution. She is disoriented."

"She's alive? She's awake?" The little box screamed.

I don't want to be.

"Yes, she is awake and stable. But disoriented."

I look away from Cullen. Another man. Curly. Him. No.

He falls to his knees beside me. "Bella, Oh my God! I am so happy to see you! Oh my God." Curly man cries. No.

"No." Please don't cry for me.

"Are you hurt? Are you in any pain? I am so sorry it took us forever to find you. I love you so much."

"No! No love! Please, no love!"

Curly looks confused. "Bella, I am not going to hurt you. What's wrong? What happened?"

"Emmett, stop. She's disoriented; we are going to get her on the helicopter and to the hospital." Cullen Says.

Wait. No love. Please. Air in, air in, air in. Please I need air in. Burns. Fuzzy. Buzz.

"Bella, sweetie. Try to take nice easy breaths. I am going to give you some medicine to help with some of your pain. It will make you sleepy and then we are going to go take a ride on that helicopter, okay?" My eyes follow his finger. Buzz. That's what is buzzing. Not me. I don't buzz.

I am moving. I should be scared. I think. Air in, air in, air out. Finally. I close my eyes.

"Bella, no! Please wake up!" I hear. My eyes are closed. I can hear.

"Emmett, its fine. I gave her a mild sedative. She was hyperventilating. She is fine."

Emmett? Memory. No. I know no one. Alice? No. No. I am no one. My hand, another hand. Someone is holding my hand. I should be scared. But no. It's warm, comforting. I think.

"Bella, you are safe. No one can hurt you now."

"Emmett." I am done. I am no one. No more burn, numb. Buzz. Black. Peace.


Burn. Always burn. Beep. Pause. Beep. Pause. Beep. Pause. Beep.

"Bella? Are you awake?" No. Beep. Pause. Beep, beep, beep.

"Honey, open your eyes."

Scared. Beep, beep, beep, faster, beep beep.

I open them. Curly. Cullen.

Cullen speaks. "Do you know where you are at?"

That beeping noise is faster. I wish someone would turn it off. But I dare not ask. Burn.

I take a quick moment and look around. Light. Breakfast.

"Light. Breakfast. Breakfast. Sorry. Sorry. Breakfast." I need to get up. I need to make breakfast. It's going to hurt. Burn, love. The end. No, the end will never come. It will be bad, he had said so.

I am stopped by a hand, "Bella, you can't get out of bed. You need to stay in bed for a little while."

"Breakfast. I am sorry. Chickens, today. I promised chickens. Eggs. Special. He is going to be so mad. Love is going to hurt. "

Cullen speaks again, I look at him. Blip, beep. I feel a pull in my chest. No. I know no one.

"Bella, you are injured. No one is going to hurt you." He holds my hand. It tingles. I don't like it. I do. No. Yes. I look at my tingling hand. There is something taped there. I look at it. I touch it with my other hand. Owe. No. My hand is pulled away from touching the object taped to my other hand.

"I need to get breakfast or loving time is going to burn." I say calmly. But that horrible beeping sound is getting faster and louder.

I pull the blanket down. I am not allowed blankets. Did I do something wrong? This is all wrong. I stop. Air in, air out. Beep, beep, beep. Sting, my eyes. No, tears. No. I will not let them fall. "Something is not right." I say. "Light, breakfast." I am at a loss. I am scared. Someone has turned that annoying beeping sound off. Thank you. But I know not to say it. There is another man there now, other than Curly and Cullen. I don't know what to call him.

He smiles, my eye twitches. I know that smile. No, I know no one. I am no one. Smiley.

Smiley talks, "Hi my name is Dr. Cullen. Carlisle Cullen. Do you know where you are sweetie?"

I am scared, I do not know. "Nooo. I don't understand what is going on." I whimper. Cullen? Two Cullens? No. It's wrong. No.

"That's okay. Can you tell me your name?" Smiley asks.

"I am no one." I am no one. It's on the tip of my tongue, Bella. No.

"You are someone damn it!" Curly screams. I jump. Cullen squeezes my hand. It tingles.

"Emmett, that's enough. If you can't control your temper, you will be asked to leave the room until you can. Understand?" Smiley gives him a serious look but smiles again at me.

"Your name is Bella. Isabella Marie Swan and you are in a hospital."

"Bella. No, I am no one."

"You are Bella. I promise you. Do you recognize this man over here?" He points to Curly.

"Curly." I want to say yes but I know I know no one. Curly frowns. A tear falls.

"No. Don't cry. No." Please. But I can't say please. No, burn. He leaves.

"I am sorry!" I didn't want him to leave. "Please! Don't leave, I am sorry! Please, loving time is going to hurt more! I don't want it to burn!" I slap my hand over my mouth, he stops. Cullen squeezes my other hand. I can't believe this, its really going to burn.

Curly turns, his eyes. I know those eyes. No. I know no one. Wait, but I do! No. You don't.

Culry walks over to me, "I am never going to leave you again Bella. No one is ever going to hurt you again. I promise. I promise to the moon and back."

"The moon and back." I repeat. My eye twitches.

"Bella, this is Emmett Swan." Smiley says.

"Swan. No I am an ugly duckling."

"That is not true, you are a beautiful swan." Cullen whispers. My cheeks get hot. Why? I do not know.

"Bella, you are going to be given a lot of information at once. It will be confusing. But we are going to help you understand it the best we can. Firstly, Emmett is your brother."

I look at him. I know him. No, you don't. I know no one.

"I am sorry."

"This is Emmett's best friend. Edward Cullen. I am Edward's father, Carlisle." Smiley says.

"Alice." I say. All eyes snap to me.

"You remember Alice?" Carlisle asks.

"No. Yes. I know no one. I don't know." A tear falls. I wipe it away aggressively. I am so confused. I want to say more. I open my mouth, I shut it. I do not have permission.

"Bella, you are free to speak whenever and whatever you want to say." Smiley, Carlisle assures me.

"No. It will burn. You don't know how bad it will burn. I have said too much. I need to go."

"What do you mean by that? It will burn? What do you mean?" Curly asks, Emmett.

"Loving time is going to burn. If I am good, it burns less. Please? I don't want it to burn. Loving time is going to burn." Air in, air out. That beeping noise comes back, so loud. Beep, beep, beep. Smiley reaches behind the bed and the beeping stops.

"Bella, no one is going to hurt you anymore. You are safe, I promise you. What is the last thing you remember before you woke up here?" Carlisle asks.

"Breathe, Bella! Breathe!" I repeat Cullen's words. "Numb. Buzz. Push, burn. Come on, Breathe!"

"You heard that?" Cullen asks. I nod.

"That's what I was saying while I was performing CPR on her." He says simply. Curly, Emmett's eyes go big.

"Am I wrong? I'm sorry!" I panic, I do not want anyone to be mad. Burn. Love, burn.

"No, no. You are not wrong, no one is upset." Carlisle speaks, "What else do you remember?"

"Agent Swan here. I am about 200 yards away. Agent Swan, please approach with caution. She is disoriented. She's alive? She's awake? I don't want to be." In take of sharp breaths. No, burn.

Carlisle looks at Cullen, "Was that said?" He asks.

Cullen nods, "All but that last part."

"What about before that, Bella?" He asks, smiley. He smiles a lot.

I was silent. Burn, that's what I remember. But then cold. Burn. It burned so bad.

"Why can't I make breakfast? I need to get back to him. Loving time will be the worst ever. I know it. Burn, oh baby burn." Cullen tugs at his hair painfully with his free hand. Emmett frowns, please don't. Air in, air out. Cullen squeezes my hand again, I notice I am shaking.

"Bella, you are never going back there. You are safe. You are going to be staying here in the hospital while we take care of you and get you healthy." Carlisle tells me.

I do not understand. "But why?" My voice cracks.

"Because those people that you were with kidnapped you and hurt you! They took you from your home, your family, your friends, and your life!" Screamed Emmett.

I freeze. No. That can't be. I know no one. I am no one. Burn. No. Yes. Wait.

"Bella, stop. I know this is very confusing to you but you do know people. A lot of people know you and you are someone. Someone very special." Smiley again. Always smiley.

Did I say that out loud? Oh. Wait. I am done. I close my eyes and lay my head against my pillow. "The end." But I hear.

"The end?" Curly asks. "Wait, Bella?"

"It's fine Emmett. Let her rest."

I welcome the fog. Burn, it will come later. But right now, fog I welcome you. Then, blackness. I hope I stay here forever.


I can hear. My eyes are closed.

"...fractured ribs, severe malnutrition, lacerated liver, pneumonia, multiple bruising, burns and lacerations all over her body, and..." hesitation.

"Just say it Carlisle." It's Curly. I remember his voice, its stern. I shiver.

"She has severe vaginal and rectal injuries. There were major burns, new and old, in both areas. As well as other tearing and lacerations." Carlisle answers.

"Do you think that is what she means about burning?" Cullen asks.

"Most likely but we won't know anything for sure until she tells us. We are also going to be careful weaning her off the drugs she was on. There was cocaine, heroin, and ecstasy in her system and a large amount of different types of psychiatric drugs. Some are still in the experimental stages."

"I am going to be sick." Curly answers and I hear someone run from the room.

"Go check on him Edward, she will be fine. I promise."

I am done once more, I welcome the blackness.


I jerk. This time I open my eyes. It's rather dark in my room. I am covered up once again. I have a pain in my belly. Then a warm feeling in between my legs. No one told me when toilet time was. No. He will be so mad. I don't know if I can move. So I don't. I lay there, too terrified to do anything. It will burn, I try to prepare myself.

A door opens, I look towards it. A women walks in. I notice Smiley sleeping in a chair. Why? Am I bad? I still don't understand. This is going to hurt. "Hi Bella. My name is Rosalie. I am going to be your nurse for a little bit. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know." I'm feeling terrified. I am wet and sore. But I do not tell her that. No. Burn, love.

She turns the lamp on that is beside my bed. I look down at the blanket, there is a wet spot. She sees it. "I'm sorry! I didn't know when toilet time was and I couldn't hold it! Please don't burn! I will hold it next time! I promise!"

"Bella, its okay...I promise. I am not going to hurt you, no one is...you have to..." she replies.

Smiley wakes up, "What happened?" He walks over to my bed side. He looks at the blanket.

"I am sorry...I didn't know...it won't happen again...Burn. No. No." I ramble. That annoying beeping sound starts again.

"Bella, it's okay sweetheart. It was an accident. No one is going to punish you for it," Smiley promises.

"Bella, we don't have a 'toilet time' here..." My face falls. She catches it, "No, I mean you just let someone know you need to go to the bathroom and someone will come and help you. You can go whenever you need to, as many times as you need to."

"Really?" I didn't believe her.

"Yes and no one is going to punish you for anything you ask for or any accidents that happen, okay?" Smiley asks. Carlisle, I should start calling him that.

I nod. Not sure. I don't want it to burn. The beeping sound stops.

"Bella, we are going to get you cleaned up and change your bedding." Rosalie says.

"No, I can do it. I am okay." I say but I really don't think I can.

"We are here to help you sweetie," Smil...I mean Carlisle says as he pushes a wheelchair over to my bed. " We are going to move you to this chair and then Rosalie will help get you changed in the bathroom, okay sweetie?"

I nod and Rosalie takes the blankets off me first. Black. Red. Black and Red. That was the best way to describe the way my legs looked. I don't think they have ever looked this bad. What did I do? What am I wearing? There is fresh blood mixed with my urine. Nothing new. There are wires poking from under my gown, I start to grab them.

"NO!" Carlisle and Rosalie both scream at the same time. I jump. No. Burn. They lied. Here it comes.

"I am sorry for scaring you Bella. You have a central line in your leg and can't pull on it. It helps give you medicine and fluids." He apologizes and explains. I am still weary.

"Look," Rosalie carefully lifts up the gown I am wearing and shows me. It's a thin tube that disappears into my skin. I don't like it. I nod.

"Alright then, we are going to disconnect you from all the machines okay?" I nod again. Strange. This is all wrong. Again, burn.

Both of them start disconnecting wires from me. I hadn't realized how many I had.

I lifted my hand with the tape, "What about this?"

"That is an IV, sort of like the one in your leg. We don't have to disconnect that one, it can come with us." Rosalie answered as she hung the bag on a pole that was connected to the wheelchair.

"Bella, I am going to lift you very carefully. I am going to try my hardest not to hurt you and if I do please tell me, I am not hurting you on purpose. Okay?" he asked.

I nodded. I didn't have a choice. I was use to it but I didn't understand. At least with him, I knew what I was supposed to do. My purpose. My consequences.

Burns. It burns as he lifts me, but a different type of burn. No. Sting, yes. It stings. I try to not show it. He apologizes. I don't say anything. He sits me in the chair. My legs are propped on to metal slates.

"Here we go," Rosalie says as she pushes me to the bathroom. It's huge. There is an actual toilet and shower in there. I am weary. I don't understand.

Rosalie turns on the sink water and lets it run while she pulls out towels and a gown from the closet. She tests the water, its probably going to be very hot. Burn. No. Please. She fills a tub with the water and adds some liquid stuff. There are bubbles. I smile. Bubbles, it slams me hard in the chest...a memory. Bubbles.

***FLASHBACK***

"ALICE! Oh no! What did you put in the dishwasher!?" I walked into her kitchen and the floor was covered in bubbles, up to my knees.

"Just dish soap...AHH!" Alice came running into the kitchen and slipped, falling right on her butt.

I start to laugh at her, "Dish soap? Hahahahaha!" I can't control my laughter.

"My mom is going to be so pissed! Why did this happen?" She asked.

"You are suppose to put this in the dishwasher," I said as I held up a detergent tab. "Not soap."

"But why?" The look on her face was priceless, she was in utter shock.

"Because THIS happens," splaying my palms towards the bubbles, "Have you ever ran a dishwasher before?"

"Yeesss...but it's usually already to go; I just have to push start." Her cheeks flush red.

I bend over, laughing uncontrollably. I picked up a handful of bubbles and blew them towards her.

"My hair!" She screamed. She playfully pushes me into the bubbles...I push her back...bubbles, bubbles everywhere...

Alice's mother walks in, Esme. We freeze. "What happened here?"

We stay silent. She bursts into laughter...

***END OF FLASHBACK***

"Bella? Are you okay?" A frantic Rosalie interrupts me. What was that? Memory. No, I know no one. I frown.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." No. I feel lost.

"Do you feel okay to stand for a few moments?" I nod; she holds her hands out to help me. I grab them. She carefully lifts me up. "Hold onto this bar for support. Let me know if you need to sit back down." I nod again. She carefully unties my gown and removes it from my body.

I see the shock in her eyes but she composes herself quickly. I refuse to look at myself, I close my eyes.

"I am just going to use a washcloth and wipe you down a little bit, okay?" She asks.

I nod again, eyes still closed.

I feel the washcloth, burn. But no, wait. It doesn't burn. It's warm, it's nice. Rosalie is gentle. She is touching me. I don't mind. I know the burn will come. But I will wait. I will enjoy what little comfort this is, for now. She cleans under my arms, under my small breasts, and then between my legs. A small part of me is okay with this. Can I trust Rosalie? I do not know. No. I know no one. I can't trust anyone. But before I can ponder this much longer, I feel a cloth being draped over me. I open my eyes and look down. Rosalie has placed another gown on me and is tying it.

"Okay, slowly we are going to sit down back down in the chair." I nod, she helps me. It stings but its okay. She tosses the washcloth in a blue bin and grabs another, wetting in the water.

"I am going to wipe your face a little bit, is that okay?" I nod. I close my eyes. Again, it's warm. It's nice.

"Barbara use to help me clean up after loving time sometimes, she didn't burn. Never burn, hurt yes. But never burned. I liked her. I think." I feel Rosalie stop. I open my eyes, she has tears in hers.

"I'm sorry!"

"Honey no, its okay. I am not upset with you. Sweetheart, those people that you were staying with, were not nice people, including Barbara. They did horrible things to you. You are safe now though, I promise. No more burning. I swear."

"To the moon and back?" I ask, I do not know why. But I asked.

She smiles, "Yes, to the moon and back. You have a lot of people that care for you deeply."

I frown, "I am no one. I know no one."

"You are Bella Swan, a beautiful, kind, strong person."

I want to believe her but no. I am no one. So I nod and she finishes wiping off my face.

"Feel better?"

"Yes." And that is not a lie, I feel a lot better after I am cleaned up. My eyes start to droop.

"Okay sweetie, let's get you back to bed." She pushes me back into my room. The fog was coming again.

My eyes closed, "Bella, I am going to pick you up and put you back into bed." Carlisle spoke.

"Okay." Sting, but it's okay. Soft. So tired. Covered up. Warm. Comfort. Blackness.