Disclaimer - I, the author of this fan fiction, obviously owes nothing of the O.C. or Fox. If you want to know why, go to my profile. . .

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"Seth, I don't have time for this." Ryan sighed as Seth led him to the pool house and sat him down. He looked around nervously. What had Seth done to his room? First of all, he closed all the blinds, which made everything very dark, even though it was morning and the sun almost always shone in California.

Seth closed the door and shut the door, making the entire room pitch black.

Ryan sighed. "Seth! Open the blinds please! This is really dumb."

"Au contraire mon amis." Seth replied flipping the light switch that had never in Ryan's stay in this pool house, been used.

Ryan looked around. The bed was moved, and all the chairs except for the couch he was sitting on were gone. In front of him, Seth was moving an easel with large sheets of paper on it. "Seth, what happened to all the stuff that was in here? And what is with the paper? Can we do; whatever you are doing another time? I have a date with Marissa."

Seth turned to him and smiled. "Cancelled."

"What!" Ryan yelped getting up from the couch. Seth moved to him and sat him down gently. "Since when do you have the power of canceling my dates?"

Seth shrugged nonchalantly. "I have always had the power, you just never knew it." Seth shook his index finger at him. "Bad Ryan, you're getting off topic."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I didn't know we had a topic."

Seth flipped the first sheet over. "Our topic, brother of mine, is family." On the large sheet in thick black marker read, 'Who is your family?'

The amused expression on Ryan's face dropped off. "Seth, I don't want to talk about my family. We have gone over this. Remember Christmakkah?"

Seth patted his shoulder. "We are not talking about your family. We are talking about mine, well ours now. I get to share."

Ryan laughed. "Seth I met your family; remember New Years Eve, your aunt, your only aunt locked us into the pool house. And then there is you grandfather, Caleb, who is dating Julie Cooper, who is the mother of my girlfriend."

Seth shook his head. "Thank Jesus and Moses we aren't blood related or that could be a weird technical incest." He murmured shivering. "I'm glad you know my mother's side of the family. They are slightly more complicated when it comes to personalities."

"You mean; you cancelled my date with Marissa to talk about your dad's side of the family?" Ryan sighed exasperated. "What does it matter? Your dad said they barely visit, and don't they live in Boston or Cleveland or something?"

Seth quickly flipped the paper and a map of the United States and Canada filled the next sheet. "Boston, Cleveland, Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, Denver, New York, Miami and Houston." He replied pointing to each of the locations on the map.

Ryan dropped his head into his hands. "Oh no."

"Oh, yes." Seth echoed smiling.

"Why do I have to learn this?" Ryan asked with his head still in his hands.

Seth smiled. "Granny and Grandpa Cohen are coming to visit."

Ryan looked up confused. "Granny Cohen?"

Seth crossed his arms. "Yes, Granny Cohen. All of her grandchildren and great grandchildren call her that."

Ryan covered his face. "Ok, well I just have to learn about them. Then I'm ok. I can remember that."

"Well no not exactly. Granny and Grandpa Cohen never travel alone, they find it boring and they usually end up arguing when they do. So they bring alone some of the family with them." Seth explained.

"How much is some?"

"Most."

"How many is most?"

Seth swallowed. "Over twenty."

"When are they arriving?"

Seth swallowed again. "What time is it?"

"Seth! Are you saying that over twenty of your family members on your dad's side are arriving in less then twenty four hours?"

Seth shook his head. "No, I'm saying that over twenty of my family members on my dad's side are arriving in less then twelve hours."

"Seth!" Ryan yelled.

"Yes?" Seth replied meekly.

Ryan shook his head in disbelief. "Why wasn't I informed about this?"

"Well, my parents wanted it to be a surprise for me, because it's my birthday in a week, so they didn't discuss it while I was in the room, which is usually when you are in the room, and when we aren't in the same room, you are with Marissa and kind of forgot until they remembered they should tell you, so they forgot about the surprise and told me so I could tell you."

Ryan closed his eyes and shrugged. "It's no big deal; I could meet them when they arrive tomorrow."

Seth nodded. "Well yes, you could do that." He bit his lip. "However you need to know a few things about certain people."

Ryan looked Seth up and down uncertainly. "Like what?"

Seth flipped over the next sheet of paper, showing a picture of a friendly elderly lady and a bunch of facts around her picture. "For example, Granny Cohen. Don't mention the fact you have been arrested and in jail around her."

Ryan chuckled. "That doesn't usually come up in conversation, Seth."

"Oh but it might because she or one of my cousins may ask how you came to my family!"

"Ok, that's true." Ryan admitted. "Why would that matter to her?"

"Well, she is a little paranoid and she has been known to pepper spray people." Seth explained.

Ryan swallowed and nodded. "Ok, thanks, that helps."

Seth nodded and flipped the page. "Next, Auntie Rhonda, my dad's sister in law. No smoking or drinking around her. She was a drug user and she has quit smoking and drinking. And no matter what she says, do not get her a drink."

Ryan nodded.

Seth flipped the page and smiled. "Uncle Max, my dad's brother, he was married to my Aunt Laurie, but they divorced a few years back. Watch your wallet."

Ryan frowned. "Why?"

"Oh, he has been known to play magic tricks on the teens and will sometimes do the 'where's your wallet' trick. You always get it back but it is usually missing about a hundred bucks."

Ryan quickly took his wallet from his back pocket and counted the money in it. No big, he had thirty dollars in it. "Okay. Is your entire family like this?"

Seth shook his head as he flipped the page. "No, only five more." Seth looked over at Ryan. "Ok, Laura and Lucy, the Cohen twins. My little cousins. Their parents aren't coming because they have a baby on the way. They are twelve. You got it?"

Ryan nodded. "Yeah."

"Ok, now, this one is Lucy." Seth pointed to the picture on the right. "They do not like it if you get them confused and call them by the wrong name."

Ryan frowned. "What happens if they do?"

Seth nodded. "Ah!" He flipped the page. "Cousin Alec. He is twenty now. He was the only one of us they got them confused. They bit his finger and he still has the scars. He is a little sensitive about it so don't mention it."

Ryan's eyes widened. "How old were they when that happened?"

Seth bit his lip. "Six I think." Seth flipped the page. "OK last two."

Ryan sighed. "Oh, thank God."

Seth sat beside Ryan. "Ok, Cousin Sandra; named after my dad and our second cousin Vickie. Mother and daughter. If either of them start getting red when the other is in the room, run."

Ryan looked over at Seth nervously. "Why?"

"Known to throw things at each other. Apart, they are the greatest. Vickie is our age actually." Seth smiled.

Ryan nodded. "Oh."

"Yes, Ryan I think you'll fit right in."

Ryan looked over at Seth. "Do you think Mr. Cooper will let me crash at his house until their gone?"

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A/N: OK I meant for this to be a one parter. But it turned into a chapter one. Oh well. It was fun and I was wondering what Sandy's family was like so this was my answer to it. Anyways, review and tell me if I should continue!

Review!

~Toodles!