Bowser's Scoopa Koopa

It was lunchtime at Peach's castle. The Princess had over Mario, Luigi, Daisy, Wario, and Waluigi for a meal. As Toad eagerly served the royal guests, Wario immediately begun to complain:

"What's this? RABBIT FOOD?!"

"It's salad, Wario" Peach replied in her most polite fashion.

"Eeeyuck!" the rotund Mario imposter scowled as he pushed his plate away.

Everyone, Waluigi included, was not pleased by his trademark rudeness today. Mario and Peach exchanged glances as Daisy muttered something under her breath about how some men never grow up.

"Wario, salad's good for you" explained Toad.

"Yeah" Waluigi agreed, "you COULD manage to lose a few pounds on that blubbery body of-a yours!"

Luigi brimmed with delight as he started to eat his salad.

"I love a good salad. It-a matches my outfit!"

Waluigi responded with a quick, disinterested "nyahh…" Mario, however, looked at his plate and sighed.

"Somehow, I kinda agree with him. How come some of the things I don't like are good for me, while a lot of the things I do like aren't?"

Peach giggled.

"Oh Mario, don't be so picky!"

"Peach is right" said Daisy. "We never have to deal with this when Yoshi is around. He doesn't think twice when he eyes food!"

"Hmm…speaking of that little green egg-machine, where is he?" Wario asked. "He never misses lunch!"

"Neither do you!" Waluigi interjected. "…unless you're in trouble."

Before the two could even think of starting a spat, however, the gang heard some excited commotion outside. They all left the castle and followed the sound until it led them to Fungus Square, in the heart of the food/services district. There they saw it.

A new fast-food restaurant had just opened. Signs showed giant pictures of all sorts of foods, drinks, and everything you could ever ask for. When the gang got there, the sign was just about to go up. When it did, though, everybody gasped in shock when they saw what it said: BOWSER'S SCOOPA KOOPA!

Upon cue, the Koopa King himself emerged from inside the building, dressed in a snappy new outfit, to welcome and promote his dubious venture.

"My friends…" he began, but the citizens all booed and hissed. He, of course, didn't care. "Lately, I've been feeling a little guilty over all the terrible things my troops and I have done to your fine, colorful kingdom. Therefore, I have decided to turn over a new leaf…"

"You mean turn over a new TREE, Papa!" Bowser Jr. chimed in. "You're too big for just a leaf!"

Bowser chuckled. "Right, a new tree. Anyway, the Koopa clan is giving up villainy and is now making its historic step in the right direction. We hereby announce that we are opening up Bowser's Scoopa Koopa restaurant as our first step in making amends with the Mushroom Kingdom!"

Upon cue, the restaurant doors opened and all the Toads in town, some reluctantly and others eagerly, went in. A Goomba with a tray on his head approached Mario and the gang.

"Free samples" the Goomba said, "courtesy of our formerly tyrannical Lord Bowser."

"Gimme that!" Wario snapped as he snatched a sandwich from the tray.

He took a bite and immediately fell in love.

"Ooohh, deeee-lishious!"

Waluigi followed suit as he gobbled one up and jumped for joy. Then Luigi tried a nibble and perked up.

"Oh boy, egg sandwich! Tish-delish!"

The others weren't so easily wooed. Mario especially didn't like what he just saw.

"Egg? Eh, not for me. But on the bright side, I think I know where to find Yoshi!"

And just as Mario suspected, Yoshi was first in line to take an order. Bowser Jr. looked at him in a distrusting fashion, and then turned to his father who gestured him to follow the order.

"Alright, dino-brain, whaddya want to order?" he said.

Yoshi looked at the menu, which consisted of countless sandwiches, sides, and drinks.

"One of everything!" the cheeky green dinosaur giggle-squeaked in his Yoshi fashion.

Jr. turned to the cooking staff.

"You heard him! Step on it!"

Immediately, the staff begun to cook the food. A Hammer Brother took an egg from a peculiar bird, one of many caged in the back, and cracked it open. A Goomba trio ran a treadmill to operate a Fire Bar grilling system to cook it. Kamek then flipped it onto a bun and prepared the condiments. Bowser stood right next to him and whispered to him. Nodding, the Magikoopa used his wand to create some sauce.

"Don't forget" Bowser announced, "our specialty sandwich, the Koopa Egg Delight, is served with our 'special' sauce! One bite and it's an eternal delight!"

Once Yoshi's order was complete, Jr. gave Yoshi his bill. Mario went up to the register and looked at it.

"50 coins?! That's highway robbery!"

"Hey!" Bowser shouted, "Can I help it if your dinosaur friend is a glutton? If I recall, that appetite of his foiled many of my plans. You should be happy that, for once, I'm ok with him eating my profits."

"I'm always happy when he eats whatever you cook up" Mario replied, "…just never thought you'd actually COOK it for once…"

Suddenly, everyone heard a loud growl from the doorway. It was Donkey Kong, and he did NOT look too happy. The primate squinted directly at the checkup counter and made a charge at it, only to be subdued by Mario's quick thinking.

"See, folks?" said Bowser. "Scoopa Koopa's food is so good; people are willing to go on rampages for it! Get'em while they're as hot as my breath!"

The customers all laughed and cheered as they all lined up to order food. Mario gave DK a good scolding:

"I understand how impatient you get, big fella, but you have to wait your turn to order what you want."

DK just looked at the building, snorted, and broodingly lumbered off. Mario scratched his head in exasperation as he watched him go.

Meanwhile, Luigi, Yoshi, Wario, and Waluigi returned with their food.

"What was that all about, Bro?" Luigi asked.

"I dunno" Mario replied, "maybe he was just in one of his moods again. You know how Donkey Kong is. He's not bad, but that temper of his always gets the best of him."

"Shame…" the green plumber sighed, then kindly offered his brother a milkshake.

"Oh? What's this?"

"I ordered you a shake."

"Wow, thanks Luigi!"

Mario slurped up his milkshake and was taken by surprise.

"Mamma-mia! Bowser may have been a really bad guy, but he knows how to make a good milkshake! Peach! Daisy! Toad! You should try some!"

Peach and the others stepped away.

"I refuse to have anything that Bowser had his nasty claws on!" Peach understandably snubbed defensively.

"Me neither" said Toad.

"And shakes go right to my thighs" Daisy added, "baseball season is coming up and I want to beat the Neon Shy Guys in the Mushroom World Series!"

"Your loss!" Waluigi taunted as he and Wario hogged down a lot of the food.

Mario looked at them, Luigi, and Yoshi, then at his cup. Milkshake aside, something wasn't right about all this.

"Not sure what it is" he thought, "but something smells, and it's not just that special sauce. Just can't put my finger on it…"

Indeed, the mere prospect of Bowser going good and opening a restaurant was peculiar. Was he really trying to finally make an honest buck, or was something more insidious in store for the Mushroom Kingdom. Only time could tell…in the meantime, it was lunchtime and everyone was eating. Mario just continued to drink his shake, pondering of what to do next.