Summary: River's in a bad mood so Wash decides to cheer her up. Now she's hunting down someone who says they are not ticklish. Implied Jayne/Kaylee pairing. One-shot.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Serenity and all its characters belong to their creators. I'm making no money out of this.
Notes: This is a stand alone fan fic written for pure enjoyment. Please review. I'm thinking of writing more Firefly fiction. Let me know if you think I should.
Set Up: In this fiction, Wash is still alive. The crew gathers around the mess and discusses the meaning behind a rather noisy disturbance earlier in the day...
"I'd been in a mite of bad mood since this morning." explained Wash. "Since River was on the Bridge with me, I guess it rubbed off. She was brooding something so awful and I knew I had to do something."
"This wouldn't explain the hysterical screaming earlier would it?" asked Mal, taking another bite of his dinner. Wash nodded.
"And who is particular was doing the screaming?" Zoe asked. Wash grinned and waved his hands to quiet them.
"Just a sec. Anyway, she was looking all dreary and such when I had a stroke of brilliance. I knew just the thing to cheer her and me up."
"What?" asked Simon. River answered in an unbelieving tone.
"He tickled me."
"What?" exclaimed Jayne."She's ticklish?" Wash giggled.
"You guys should have seen the look on her face! I don't think she's bee so fiercely attacked since she was little!"
"So it was her screaming?" asked Kaylee. River shook her head.
"That was Wash when I found out he was ticklish." The entire table dissolved into laughter. Soon River was chasing Wash around the room, trying to get a hold of him again. When Wash escaped her River stood at the front of the table, enjoying her power. "I bet all of you are ticklish to."
Jayne pointed his big knife in her direction. "Just try it girl."
"You may have a challenge on your hands then, River." said Kaylee.
"Why's that?" asked Wash. Kaylee crossed her arms and shot River a triumphant look.
"I ain't never been ticklish in my life."
A hush fell over the table at the challenge.
The next day, Jayne was in the cargo bay working out his boredom on his set of dumb bells. The only things he could hear on the Serenity were the whine and creaks of his equipment and his own breathing. Then again, he could hear faint voices every once in a while, down in the common room by the Infirmary. He didn't pay them much mind, preferring to concentrate on his workout. Tired of lifting weights he stood to move on to his punching bag. A high pitched squeal jolted his entire body. He whirled around to the stairs leading down to the living room. A series of high-pitched giggles bounced off the walls.
"River Tam you stay away from me!" Kaylee fairly screamed amid more bouts of uncontrollable laughter. "No! No! Stop!" Jayne's first thoughts followed along the lines that River had once again gone crazy. He dashed to the doorway and looked inside, expecting to see River wielding some bloodied knife again. Kaylee pushed against River on the yellow couch, trying her best to dislodge her attacker. Kaylee never stopped screaming, never stopped pleading for River to stop. Jayne was about to break the whole mess up when Kaylee kicked out at River, sending her flying off the couch. She bolted upright, her entire face flushed red. She spotted Jayne and ran over to him, gripping his shoulders and hiding behind him.
"What the?" He called, but River was in front of him, holding out her hands threateningly.
"No use hiding." she crooned. Behind Jayne, Kaylee was gasping.
"Keep her away from me Jayne! She's like to kill me!"
"What's going on!" thundered the Captain as he entered the room from the opposite side. Jayne shrugged, trying to protect Kaylee with his body from the advancing River.
"Don't know. Kaylee's screaming for River to stop attackin her!"
"You hurt, Kaylee?" called Mal. Kaylee ducked closer behind Jayne, dodging a swipe from River.
"Darned little nuisance called my bluff, I can barely breathe!"
"What?" asked Jayne, still shielding her.
River smiled and ran forward again. "I found her tickle spot!" she squealed triumphantly. At Jayne's surprised pause, River skipped behind him and attacked Kaylee again.
"River!" Kaylee shrieked and laughed at the same time, running pelmel across the room. She hid behind the Captain, who stopped River in her tracks. River stuck out her bottom lip and pouted.
"Now that's enough River." warned Mal. Kaylee peaked out from behind him.
"Where the devil was it?" asked Jayne, scratching the back of his neck. River looked about to tell him when Kaylee pointed from behind Mal.
"Don't you dare tell a soul, River Tam." she warned. Jayne had never heard Kaylee take on such a cute yet threatening tone before.
When Mal and Kaylee had gone River sidled up to Jayne and whispered up to him. "Just under her shoulder blades."
Jayne felt a grin tug at his face. "That it huh? I'll have to remember that..."
