:: Double Suicide ::

Gensomaden Saiyuki

Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku

Warnings: AU, mild OOCness, suicide, yaoi

Notes: And this is a project that I've been working on for a few months. And it took way too long, in my opinion.

Anyway, I usually like to write at least one darkfic for every fandom. I did it in crossovers, with Megami Kouhosei, Majutsushi Orphen, Kingdom Hearts... and now Saiyuki. If you're looking for characters other than Sanzo or Goku, you're not going to see much of them. This is a fic almost entirely on them, mostly from Sanzo's point of view. It will have some serious issues and a few touchy subjects. Each chapter's warnings will be different depending on the content.

Since the prologue is so short, chapter one has also been posted along with it.

Constructive criticism and feedback appreciated.

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Prologue

Two rounds. One for each of them. That was all they would need, because there was absolutely no way they could miss.

He held out the darker of the guns, eyes fastened on the receiver. Without hesitation, the weapon was taken. He picked up his own gun, loading it.

One bullet.

No way to miss.

"This is it."

A nod.

"So... let's do it."

He raised the gun, pausing in midair as his friend did nothing. He frowned.

"You promised to see things through with me, didn't you?" he demanded.

They were alone, isolated in the middle of the woods where no one would find them for days. It was perfect. No one would hear the gunshots; they had only gone missing for a few hours, and during those few hours they had spent the most wonderful time together.

But then, all physical pleasure was a lie. Everything but pain was a lie. Wonderful as it had been, it was a lie. The only truth lay in the here and now, in what they were about to do, in the ultimate sin they were about to commit. But they had to do it together. It was pointless otherwise.

"... Yeah."

His eyes narrowed. "No more backing out."

His friend didn't answer.

How many times had they tried and failed because the other had chickened out? This time no holes were left; the plan had been elaborated on again and again, this time planned for nearly two solid hours down to perfection. This was it. There was no turning back; turning back would be betrayal from this point on.

"Promise?"

He wouldn't do this alone; refused to do it alone. This time he had to succeed, and with this person. His only friend, family, and lover. No one else would do. It had taken him a long time to find the right person, and now that he had succeeded, he wouldn't back out. He would let the other back out, either.

"Sanzo, do you promise?"

A brief pause, and then the answer he sought.

"... Yeah."

He smiled, a glimmer of malice reflecting in his eyes. Without tearing his gaze from the blonde man, he put the gun to his lips, pushing the barrel in past his teeth. The metal was cold on his tongue. His breath hitched with anticipation.

Wordlessly, Sanzo loaded the gun.

The silence then was thick; impenetrable. In that silence a million words passed between them; a hundred thousand images, reflections, all moon shadows of what had happened; how they had come to this point; how hard they had to work to get here.

There was also a faint tremor of reluctance.

Somewhere in the vast house, a clock ticked.

Sanzo put the gun to his temple.

Smiling around the barrel, his companion nodded once. It was the barest of movements, but noticeable. Sanzo had always possessed a sharp eye.

The boy held up five fingers. Suddenly five seemed like such a huge number. Then the number lessened to four, and to three.

When it reached two, Sanzo could have sworn his life flashed before his eyes. It was over by the time only one finger remained, but it was enough to rock him.

Only one trigger was pulled.