Life never went as planned for Derek Shepherd. He was just a simple village doctor; his plans were save lives and maybe someday got married with the woman he loved. He thought he could get that, but life never goes as planned…
He never planned his father's death and his family moving to Dwyfor to live with his uncle when he was 10. Or he never planed his older sisters run after titles and got married with the first lord that appeared. He never planned went to America to be a doctor. He never planned either the sinking of the Titanic taking his cousin life away or putting him as the next earl of Dwyfor making he came back. He never planed his uncle spend all his money and put the future of the estate on his hand. He just wanted today went as planned.
Today added a whole other level of discomfort that only Derek felt. Spending nearly two hours in a carriage in near silence with his uncle, mother and his only single sister made his mind wander towards the impending event. And with every pitch and sway of the carriage, his stomach tightened and he grew more anxious.
"Derek!"Amelia, his little sister, nudged him in the arm. "You are looking like you are going to throw up…"
"Leave your bother alone Amelia. He just came back from America and this is how you say welcome back? " Carolyn Shepherd reprimanded her daughter. And Amelia saw again the quite disappointment that flickered across her Mama's blue-green eyes when she mocked her favorite kid.
"Amelia is right, sister. You shouldn't look as if you were walking into your grave" Lord Dwyfor finally opened his mouth.
"But that is exactly how I feel. I am tying myself to a woman I don't know. I am tying myself to her for the rest of my life."
"I don't think you will regret it." Lord Dwyfor for some reason has taken quite a liking to Addison. Although he supposed that because she was about to save his home. Twice. "She may be a perfect stranger but if you give her and yourself a chance, she may prove to be just perfect."
Derek shook his head at his uncle as they arrived at the church.
People make plains and god laugh. This was what her mother said every time, but Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery never had believed it, until now. Her mother plan was finding a husband, gain a title. So she had gone through the motions of the season like a dutiful daughter and the attention and invitations that she received showed she played her part well. Then she found James Shepherd the future Earl of Dywfor. James had been a perfectly companion. She thought her life was going as planned. She had settled her heart on him. And James has falling in love with her.
He had bought tickets for the Titanic only to do her a favor. She wanted to see her family before they got married. And now he was dead. Was all her fault. If she waited for her family came after the wedding they won't be on that stupid ship. The images of the ship breaking apart and the people in the water would always stay with her. As the screams of the dying people on the ice cold water. Why hadn't been enough life boats? How was this possible? She had lost the love of her life because that stupid ship.
However, weeks went by and the loss of James was no longer an acute pain but more of an ache, something Addison could maneuver around in a modified manner. But now on the day that James and she are supposed to be marring, god was laughed on her face. Her mother's new plan was marrying the next heir on this day, some guy she doesn't even know. The idea of being married to someone different from James was killing her, she felt like the love she had for James would never be felt again, no matter who the next man was.
"I will always be yours." James was lowered into the ground behind the same church she was going to get married and Addison stood at his grave on a beautiful wedding dress, looking straight ahead and clenching her jaw.
"I' m sorry…" Derek said embarrassed after the first look at his future wife. She was wearing a veil but he could see her face. She had a unique red hair, a soft skin and a pair of green eyes deeper than the seas "I wasn't supposed to… to see you before the…" He wasn't able to form any sentence after he lost himself on her eyes.
"I'm the one to be sorry, my Lord." She shook her head. "I wasn't supposed to be there… I was just saying good bye" she explained with tears on her eyes.
Derek cleared his throat and gave a warm smile. "You loved him, don't you?"
"I still do…" She replied sincerely
"I am so sorry for your lost. I hope I can someday make you as happy as he did." And he meant that. His uncle was right after this entire perfect stranger already had won his heart. "I know this day it's not going to be as you dreamed but as your husband I will try to make the best as it can be"
"Thank you" She gave a bashful embrace.
Derek sighed, watching wordlessly as the ladies withdrew from the dinner table. In the four months Addison had spent at Dywfor as his wife, she had perfected the mask of unbroken complaisance for social occasions, but the resigned look that had briefly crossed her face as she followed her mother-in-law and sister to the drawing room had not escaped Derek's notice.
"Addison is not happy." He observed out loud as soon as the ladies were out of a hearing distance.
"She is still adjusting to her new life." His uncle replied easily, pouring a scotch each for the two of them
"It's more than that." He said after a short silence. "She doesn't show it, but I know she's not happy."His uncle took a sip of his scotch. "And I want to make her happy. I owe it to her." Derek reminded his promise behind the church on his wedding day. "If only she would give me some sign." He spoke again, this time more to himself as he stared his remained untouched drink. "If I only knew what to do."
Lord Dywfor cleared his throat. "You know it had to be done… for the estate."
"I know that." He replied. "And I would do it again…" He finally took a sip of his own drink. "I just wish I had a started with Addison before…"
His uncle looked up at him, studying his face for a moment "You mean before my son?" Derek nodded. "Sometimes I wish this too… Sometimes I think all that could never happen if…" He paused. "But it all happens for some reason. You love her now and that's what matters. You have to show her that. My son is never coming back." He said firmly. "I should join the ladies." He said soon after, leaving Derek with his thoughts.
Addison was going back to the dinner room asked her husband join the ladies when she heard Lord Dywfor's voice "You love her now and that's what matters. You have to show her that. My son is never coming back" James was never going back she knew that in her head, it was just hard telling this to her heart, after she promised not loving anyone else… But there were Derek. His was the kindest man she ever knew. He did everything for her on a heartbeat, and he was so charming. He had a dreamer look in his eyes every time he came back from the hospital after saving someone's life; it was like he was a superhero, her superhero… "I should join the ladies" Lord Dywfor started going on her direction
"Sorry Lord Dywfor, its Derek on the dinner room?" She was trying to explain her presence so as to not give any alarming ideas.
"Yes, and I think you two could use some private talking." He said closing the door behind him
She took a deep breath and then finally went to see her husband. They stood facing each other for a long moment until his conversation with his uncle floated into Derek's mind and he smiled.
"What is it?" Addison asked a little uncertainly, noticing the sudden change in his expression.
"It's just something I talked with my uncle tonight." He replied. "He said that I love you."
Addison breathed. "What did you said?" She asked after a heavy pause.
"I didn't have to say anything." He replied honestly. "Because I do. Since the moment that I saw you behind the church I knew that I had found the women of my life." He hastened to explain himself when Addison remained speechless. "I know this is sudden and I don't expect you to say anything back. But you just had to know that I'm here, I always will be. And I still I hope I can someday make you happy."
"Derek I'm already happy…" It was Addison's turn to interrupt him, and she did it breathlessly, with a finger pressed boldly over his lips. "I don't know if I love you yet. But I know that I will. You make me happy every time you came back home with a big smile on your face no matter how hard was your day, you make me happy every time we go for a walk, you make me happy every time you defended me from your Mama, you make me happy every time you stay in my bed, you make me happy every time you are trying to make me happy."
"But I thought you were unhappy." Derek said, looking at Addison with wonder.
Her smile dimmed a little, but she kept looking at him tenderly. "I was." She admitted. "I still am sometime. When I remember of him. But then I remember he was my past and you and the baby are my future." She explained, smiling at him.
"Baby?" Derek muttered.
"I'm pregnant Derek. You are going to be a father."
"Addison…" He said and she looked at him. "That is incredible. Thank you. I don't think I have ever been that happy. I am so glad I married you." He then kissed her and moved in a way that made her afraid that he wanted to leave.
"I don't think I have been that happy either."
