A/N: My twinny made me do it. Becky, Kaylah, and Missy just added fuel to the fire. Way to go, ladies. Also, if this sucks, it's Robin's fault. -.-
The title is a the title of a song from Taking Back Sunday's New Again. Ugly CD, great album.
Keep in mind I've never actually seen this match. The coverage from my wrestling news site is all I had to go by.
Where My Mouth Is
"YESSS! That's my baby!"
Leesie Rennings leapt from the couch with an elated squeal. The other inhabitants of the room, among them her bandmates, winced or covered their ears.
"Haha, take that, Missy Leigh. My man won!"
Missy's boyfriend, Matt Hardy, rolled his eyes.
"Quit rubbing it in and go…make out or…something."
"Brilliant idea, Matthew."
Leesie smirked and fairly skipped out the door.
"John!" she squealed, spotting him coming from gorilla.
He grinned.
"Hey."
"Congratulations on your win."
"Thanks--hey, you do know I just finished a match, right?" he asked as she moved to wrap her arms around him.
She hugged him.
"Yep. I'm aware. You do know you're eerily un-sweaty, right?"
"We can fix that."
"For Heaven's sake. Be patient. We still have the World Heavyweight Championship match to sit through."
He smirked.
"Who says we're going to be sitting?"
"Oh, hones--"
"Hey, Cena, the interview?"
"Oh…right."
He made a show of tearing himself away from her unhappily.
"Always the picture of tact, aren't we, Styles?" John asked with a sigh.
Leesie held her smirk in check as John trudged over to stand by the opinionated ex-commentator.
"Well, I try to--"
"Hey, Joey," Leesie said loudly. "The interview?"
"Right."
Leesie watched impatiently as they filmed the segment. When John was finished, she skipped over to him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground as he kissed her before she should protest.
"Jooooohn. You smell," she complained.
He set her down.
"Yeah, well, we can fix that."
"We," she said pointedly (even as they walked down the corridor), "are not 'fixing' anything until we get home."
"Aww, come on…There's a shower we can take over…"
She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes histrionically.
"Fi--PUT ME DOWN!"
"Watch the flailing; you're in a skirt."
"JOHNATHAN FELIX ANTHONY CENA!"
"Oh, look, here we are."
As she gave up struggling, he pushed the door open.
"Are you sure we should be--?" she attempted as he put her down.
"Psh, what're they going to do? And don't pretend you care."
She rolled her eyes again.
"What am I going to do with you?" she questioned, then blushed. "Don't answer that."
"Well, too bad, I'm going to."
The door shut with a click.
~*~
"They're not coming back, are they?" Punk questioned bemusedly some five or so minutes later.
Rynne laughed.
"Not for awhile, babe. They're probably off in some corner celebrating."
"Wow…you'd think they'd have the restraint to make it home at least," Jericho said, shaking his head.
"Haha, Cena and Leesie? Restraint?" Tina scoffed.
"Bondage, ma--" Missy snickered.
"EWW!"
"MISSY!"
A chorus of complaints drowned Missy's comment.
"Hey," Cody said defensively, "there's nothing wrong with a little creativity in the bedroom now and then."
Becky shook her head.
"Only if there aren't any apes," she agreed with a shudder.
"Shut up!" KB snapped from her place on the floor in front of the television.
On the screen, Edge locked in a Sharpshooter on Jeff Hardy. While KB and Missy looked worried, and Becky voiced her approval, the males in the room were silent.
"You guys know this is scripted, right?" Matt asked dryly.
Missy elbowed him in the ribs.
"Just because we're dating you guys doesn't mean we can't still be fans. So shut up and let us enjoy it," she said with a glare.
"Edge!" KB shouted, throwing a Skittle at the screen. "Let go of my Jeffy!"
As the colorful candy bounced back and hit her in the chest, Jeff proceeded to tap out. Becky and Rynne laughed.
"You sure your man hasn't been using again?" Rynne asked, arching a brow. "Because he's clearly confused."
"OH MY EDGE! GO!" Becky cheered as the Rated-R Superstar climbed the ladder.
"NOOOO!" KB wailed. "JEFF! GET UP BABY!"
"Okay, who the hell gave her Skittles this time?" Cody asked, wincing.
Punk opened his briefcase and peeked inside before sighing heavily and glaring in the hyper guitarist's direction.
"She found my stash…"
"You seriously keep candy in there?" Missy questioned, amused. "I thought you were kidding."
"Yes, I do, and you can't have any."
"What?"
"Don't play innocent with me, Melissa. I've seen that look before. It's the crazed 'I-must-have-candy-NOW' look. And I'm not giving in."
"Hey, Babe," Rynne said, running her fingers through his hair, "got any chocolate?"
He turned to her, a challenge in his eyes.
"Got a--?"
Knowing exactly what he wanted, she pressed her lips against his. She pulled away, and he allowed her to hijack the briefcase, open it, and claim a piece of chocolate.
"Ew," Missy said, making a face. "Never mind; it's not worth it. I'm not kissing you."
"GO JEFFY!"
"NOOO! Get him!"
"Damn straight you're not," Rynne said. "These lips are mine."
"No, actually," Matt said with a wry smile, "I'm pretty sure they're attached to Phil's face."
"Yeah, but they're attached to mine more often than not when my man wins his matches."
Punk smirked.
"I won my match tonight," he said pointedly. "Why are we still sitting here talking?"
"Because," Becky said loudly, "Edge is on the television kicking Jeff Hardy's overrated ass."
"HEY!" KB protested loudly.
"You're just jealous," Missy said, "because your man and Ted as a tag team will never be as great as the Hardyz."
"I know Ted sucks," Becky said with an eyeroll. "I keep telling Cody to beg Stephanie to give him a better partner. Or, you know, to let him show what he can do on his own."
"You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" Cody asked suggestively.
"Hmm…remind me later?"
"To quote Leesie--because it isn't the truth for her anymore anyway--VIRGIN EARS."
"Oh, please, Rynne, it's not like you don't know what they're talking about. You know, I bet for all your talk, you and Junior have had sex," Jericho said pointedly.
Punk leaned around Rynne to see the blonde Canadian.
"First of all, we haven't had sex. Secondly, it doesn't really matter if you believe me or not, be--"
"OH MY GOD!" Tina exclaimed as the ladder Jeff had been standing on leaned forward.
KB covered her eyes, but peeked through her fingers to see her boyfriend grab onto the World Heavyweight Championship suspended high above the ring.
"Use the ladder and beat him like a piñata!" Becky urged Edge.
"That's my boyfriend you're referring to, Becky," KB said warningly.
"Yeah? And?"
"And if you keep it up, I'm going to eat five packs worth of Skittles and then come visit you."
"…"
"Please don't," Cody said, looking distressed.
"OHHH!" Missy shouted with a wince as Edge pulled Jeff from the belt, causing the latter to hit his head on the ladder on the way to the canvas.
"Oh my God! He could have a concussion! Did you see that?! Aww, it's okay; I'll make it all better…"
"KAYLAH!" Matt said, grimacing. "That's my brother you're talking about…"
"The Hardycest shippers would suggest that's a sign of jealousy," Rynne said, grinning wickedly.
"EWW!" several occupants of the room protested.
"You're trying to change the subject in hopes I'll drop it," Jericho addressed the drummer. "Because you two have definitely had sex."
"We ha--" Punk began, but two new arrivals made him lose focus.
"Speaking of sex," Tina said, raising an eyebrow, "do we even want to know where you two were?"
The "two" in question were Leesie and John, both of whom were freshly showered and rather flushed. John merely smirked.
"You have to ask?" he remarked.
"Move, monkey, you're blocking my view," Jericho said.
"Of what?" Leesie questioned in bewilderment.
"That plant over there. It's far more interesting than whatever it is you're getting ready to say. I don't want to hear about whatever it is you got up--or…down to--wherever it is--OW!"
Tina rolled her eyes and folded her hands neatly back in her lap.
"NOT THE FACE!" KB shrieked as Edge punched Jeff mercilessly.
"I hate hormones," Jericho said, wincing, "you sure are violent."
Leesie turned from her spot in front of the mirror to address the group.
"Does anyone have a brush?"
"I do…let me go get it…"
"Hurry; I have to brush and braid it before it starts to dry…"
John sat behind the bassist and wrapped an arm around her waist; both focused full attention to the screen. Mostly, anyway.
"You two, if you're not going to be quiet, leave," Punk said, chucking a pack of mini Oreos at John's head.
"Ow…"
Leesie grabbed the bag and opened it.
"Mmm, thanks!" she said cheerfully.
"You had to throw the good stuff, didn't you?" Rynne muttered in disappointment.
Suddenly, gasps and exclamations of "HOLY SHIT!" filled the room as contender and champion sold the impact of the mid-air Twist of Fate.
"I taught him that," Matt said, having walked in just in time to see the spot.
"I'm sure," Becky said, rolling her eyes.
"I did."
"Of course you did, hon," Missy said distractedly.
"Here's the brush, Lees."
"Thanks, Matthew. Move, John, or I'm liable to elbow you in the face."
"Or," he said, wresting the brush from her grip, "I can just brush it for you."
"You two are so adorable it's disgusting," Rynne said, and shook her head.
"We try," Leesie said brightly.
"GO! COME ON, EDGE!"
"NOOO! JEFFY GET HIM!"
"GO JEFF!"
"NO, DON'T!"
The room was in an uproar; KB and Becky were practically screaming; it was a wonder they weren't trading blows. Punk squirmed, edging away from Rynne in hopes she wouldn't notice. She did.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm dying for a Pepsi," he said with a sigh. "Let me know how it turns out."
"Oh," she said with a smile, "grab me one?"
"Of course."
He leaned down and kissed her before heading off.
Had anyone been paying attention, they would have noticed he'd headed in the direction opposite from the nearest vending machine. As it were, they merely continued watching the action on the screen. They were silent, now, save from reactions to the match, as they had all managed to get sucked into it and could sense the end was near.
Just a few minutes after Punk had left, it was all over.
"NOOOO!"
"YESSS!"
"And the Championship is around the waist of a Hardy again!" Matt proclaimed triumphantly.
"Ugh, and I stayed for this," Becky muttered in disgust, standing. "Come on, Cody; let's go."
"But--"
"I'm not hanging around so you can congratulate him. I bought some lingerie yesterday, and it needs broken in."
"WHAT?! OH MY GOD!"
Leesie was practically screaming and flailing in shock. KB rounded on Rynne, glaring.
"Did you know about this?!"
The drummer stood and shook her head, gaping.
"NO! OH, THAT BASTARD…"
She ran out the door before anyone could speak further, and those left watched as Punk cashed in his briefcase and executed the GTS. KB was once again yelling at the screen, along with Missy.
"THAT TITLE BELONGS TO EDGE!" Becky shouted.
"Is she ever this into my matches?" Cody asked.
No one answered.
"NOOO! ROBIN, YOUR MAN IS DEAD!" KB screamed.
As the female inhabitants of the F4 crew's hangout began shouting indignant threats at the Straightedge Superstar, his girlfriend waited in the hall. Rynne bounced on the balls of her feet, and as soon as Punk stepped through the curtain, she launched herself at him.
"You didn't tell me!" she scolded between kisses.
"I couldn't…you would've said something and KB would have thrown things at me."
"DAMN RIGHT I WOULD HAVE!" the guitarist shouted.
"Oh, shit…" Punk muttered. "Run!"
"I'm gonna kill you! You took my Jeffy's title!"
"KB CRAWFORD!" Becky shouted.
"What?!"
"Wait for me!"
Punk and Rynne ran through the halls, the angry women hot on their heels. They reached a handicapped restroom, and Rynne threw the door open, pushing the new World Heavyweight Champion inside. She followed suit and looped her arms around his neck.
"Now, then, Champ," she said, running her fingers through his hair, "Where were we?"
"Right about…here," he answered, and kissed her fiercely.
Things were just getting good when…
"WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, BROOKS!"
"Give him up, Rynne!"
"Shit…"
"WE'VE GOT YOU SURROUNDED!"
"You're not the police, guys," came the sarcastic remark from Leesie Rennings.
Punk raised a brow.
"What's she doing?"
"Saving our asses," she hissed.
"Why?"
"Shits and giggles? I don't know. Don't question it, just go with it."
Out in the hall, Leesie planted her hands on her hips.
"They wouldn't be in there," she said. "That bathroom is disgusting; John and I went in there earlier and it was too gross for us. And you know that's saying something."
Becky narrowed her eyes.
"You're telling the truth?"
"Hell yeah. You all know how infamous we are for making out in weird places."
Missy sighed.
"I believe her," she said.
"Me too," KB nodded.
"You'd better not be covering for them," Becky threatened.
"I wouldn't do that. They owe me."
"For what?"
"Hiding the chocolate syrup," Leesie deadpanned matter-of-factly. "Not something I take lightly."
"Fine. Come on; let's check this way…" Becky instructed, gesturing down the corridor.
The trio headed off in search of the offender, who, meanwhile, had resumed kissing his girlfriend. Once Becky, KB, and Missy were out of sight, Leesie pounded on the door.
"You two had better get back to your hotel room before they come back," she said.
Rynne opened the door, and they nearly staggered out. Leesie, unfazed, shoved them slightly toward the parking-lot doors.
"Thanks, Lees."
"Congratulations, Punk."
"Thank you. And now we're off to celebrate."
Leesie laughed.
"Right. Me too."
As the couple headed outside, leaving Leesie to find John, Rynne realized something.
"Heyyy, where's my Pepsi?"
Punk smirked, wrapped his arms around her waist, and kissed her. He pulled away, grinning wickedly.
"Would you rather have a Pepsi or a post-match celebration with your boyfriend, who, in addition to being the World Heavyweight Champion, has other talents?"
She raised a brow.
"Oh?"
"Yep," he said against her neck.
"Phillip…"
"Two words: tongue ring."
