Don't You Want To Stay?

Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

"Do you really have to leave?"

He stood up on his empty room where moonlight is falling. He turned his back to her.

Her eyes are pleading. Any moment now, she might pass out.

He never said he love her. But that is what he shows her. She is well-aware that he doesn't believe on love. Even to say that word, it seems so hard for him. Maybe because of his tragic past. Maybe simply because, he doesn't believe on the entirety of that word.

But Love is not just a word.

Even if he denies it to the whole world, he loves her. He loves her... to death. He can't envision his life without her on it... it feels wrong, it feels different. He needed her. He needed her because he loves her. He just... can't say it.

"Do you want me to?" he replied.

He heard her sigh. A deep, long sigh releasing all the grief and sorrow that she felt. Then silence surrounded his room.

He hates these moments of sorrow. Why can't let them be like others? Why does it feel like it's so hard for them?

Was it him? Was it her? No, she understands, so it's not her at all. It was him.

He doesn't understand. He is known as a brave man. He killed a lot of criminals. Guarded hundreds of royalties. Completed life-threatening missions. And he can't even tell her he loves her.

Why bother anyway? Would it change everything if he utters those three words for the first time?

Yes. It will.

It might be a small problem for others, but this is Hyuuga Neji. And Hyuuga Neji doesn't belong to 'others.' It is a big deal for him.

He hates the feeling when she says, 'I love you' and he doesn't know what to reply. He knew, it's still different if he says it.

"It's alright... I'm alright." she whispered, but it is anything that he heard.

'She's not alright,' he thought. The girl who offered herself fully to him is not alright.

The thought of it pains him. She suffers because of his cowardness. They suffer because of his... invulnerability.

So he left.

But he didn't hear her faint call of his name hanging on the cold autumn air.

He found himself strolling at the streets. Most of the villagers are off to dreamland. For PM owls, the night is still young. But for him... he felt that night was cold as air, laced with lies wandering on his pretty little mind.

He can't help but to remember the majority of his time spending it with her.

The first time they met. The first time they ate together. The first time they trained together. The first time she comforted him. The first time they hugged. The first time they kissed. The first time they had a fight. The first time he wanted her as his own. The first night they spent together. The first time he was sorry of not understanding her.

Almost everything for the last ten years. Those ten faithful years he spent for admiring her, needing her, wanting her... loving her.

He loved the way she speaks. The way she pouts whenever she's annoyed. The way her eyes twinkle out-shining the luster of her weapons. The way she blew her bangs off her face. She's beautiful. She's the most beautiful woman he ever knew in his entire life.

And above all, he loves everything about her, including her patience of being with him all the time. All the time.

She's the only person he knew that can withstand his coldness. She's the only one that understands him. She's the only person he can trust everything with.

She's the only one that he ever needed and wanted at the same time. Forever.

What else shall be done? Did he need more reasons why he loved her when from the very start he was aware that he needed no reason for loving her, in the first place?

He stopped from walking and realized he's at the bridge over the lake where the lotuses of the Leaf bloom twice.

The moon reflects its light through the water. He saw his reflection... and he could swear he saw hers, too.

He turned around hoping she's right behind him. But there was no one. He shook his head. He's being crazy again.

"I-I..."

He tried saying those little words.

'Say it, damn it! I love her! Say it!' he thought.

"I l-love..."

He sighed. He calmed himself and closed his eyes. Then, images flashed right before his very mind.

Her smile. Her laugh. Her eyes. Her tears.

His eyes shot open. He doesn't want to remember her tears. It was... painful.

"I l-love h-her..."

'Again. Do it right.'

"I love her."

And then it hit him. There's this sudden feeling of being lifted. Tons and tons of weight was like relieved from his chest. He felt... good. It was something he wanted to feel.

"I love her... I love her... I love her."

He now believes. For everything she had done, it took three forever's just to make him believe.

Love is something he will believe on from this day forward. And he found this love... on her. He doesn't need any reason at all.

He ran back to his house. To where he left her from an almost goodbye.

After what seemed like eternity, he reached the compound. He frantically ran to his room hoping she's still there.

His white eyes scanned the room. She's not in bed. She's not in the bathroom.

She's standing by his window. Not minding the darkness of his room because the moon shines so bright... just like the way she shines to the darkness of his life.

Her soft brown hair was down. She wears nothing but his shirt and his scent. She looks so sad.

He hugged her from behind. He wanted to smirk when he heard her gasp. He wrapped his arms around her waist, tightly never wanting to let her go.

She relaxed. They stayed like that for quite some time. No one utters a single word. Nothing can be heard but the rhythm of their hearts that beat as one.

He turned her around so he can stare at her and meet her gaze.

"I..." he started.

She looked at him. Her face was soft.

"I wanted to stay..." he continued.

"...I need you. I can't live without you."

She's not saying anything. There's a thin film of shine in her eyes. She's holding back her tears, he can tell.

"I love you. I really do... love you. I love you this much that I wanted to be with you... for the rest of my life. Tenten, I have loved you ever since."

She cried. She's crying. And he doesn't know why.

"Neji..."

She said his name. He missed it. His name sounds different when she's calling him.

"...I love you, too." then she smiled still in tears.

He doesn't any reason no more. Just her. Just Tenten. She is more than enough as a reason.

He kissed her. This time, he kissed her with full of love. It feels more different than before but he liked it.

She responded. He kissed her more. He kissed her with promises of love he wanted to tell her, but he just let her feel it instead.

He kissed her slowly but passionately. He took his time. He wrapped his arms around her waist. Her hands grabbed a handful of his hair.

They will stay with each other... and make forever feel this way.

"I love you, Tenten."

"I love you too, Neji."