A/N: I plublished this little one-shot a long time ago whit the name 'Letters From Heaven' but then deleted it due to editing work and forgot to re-upload it, so i'm really sorry for that.
Now is back, edited and polished, so i hope you enjoy.
It had been six years since she and Henry moved from Boston to New York when the kid was ten.
They adapted to New York really fast, she was working as detective in NY Police Dept. and Henry was doing well in school even if he was a little sixteen years old rebel, which sneaked out of the apartment to be whit his friends, good thing he didn't drink, smoke or did drugs.
She was searching one of the old boxes that had Henry's paperwork on it; grades, extracurricular and that kind of stuffs when she found a letter, she didn't remember nor knew what could be, but it had her name written in a perfect cursive handwrite, she opened it, unfold it and started to read.
Dear Emma,
By the time you find this you and Henry will be already gone, I know what you're thinking 'who left this here and how she or he knows me?' well, you used to know me but the curse made you forget me. That was my price to pay for being selfish all this time. Don't try to remember me. I'm no longer part of your memories, but you'll be part of mines forever.
I hope Henry is doing well. I wish he could still remember me, I bet he's a good kid and he will always be, he can be stubborn and hard to handle sometimes, he takes that from me, while growing up be patient whit him, in a few years you will think that he's going away from you, be patient, he'll come back to you again, his search of freedom always includes his mother.
Oh my sweet Emma. Wish I had told to you sooner what I feel for you. You where a pain in the ass for me since the first time I meet you, I guess it was because I tough you wanted to take my son away from me, you kept challenging me and trying to make a place in my life for yourself which I had to admit you did and I didn't realized it until the first time I lost you, I just wanted you the hell out of my life, but you refused to go and I knew in the deepest of my soul that i didn't wanted you to do so.
The first time I lost you, I couldn't- better said- I didn't want to believe it, every night I whished for it to be just a horrible nightmare, that you would be there in the morning when I woke up, ready to get on my nerves and ready to give me on of your typical Emma Swan's loop-side smiles, I wanted it all to be just a dream, I refused to let you go, I refused to think that I had lost my second chance for happiness. That was the moment that I realized that I cared for you. Even now I keep whishing for this to be a nightmare.
Emma, I was a coward, I was afraid and I never had the chance to tell you how I really feel about you and now it's too late. There is no day that passes by that I regret that, so if this is the only way to do it, I'll do it. I'll take the risk; this is my only chance⦠I guess.
Emma I love you and I will always do. You where the only person that was there for me when no one was, even when I always pushed you out, you always came back to me, you where the only one that always saw me for who I really was and not for the tittles that my past had granted me, you pushed all my buttons, you challenged me and I challenged you back, you used to press my nerves and I used to do the same to you, you wrecked my walls and you and Henry where the only ones that saw the real me and I'm always going to be grateful for that, I knew you cared about me I was able to see it in those beautiful emerald eyes of yours, but I was too scared to let you know how I felt. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same and you will leave me and Henry heartbroken , I wasn't able to get over another broken heart, we'll never find out what would happened if I did. I have to admit that I first was jealous of you, Henry was more interested in you since the moment he found you, I was feeling left out, that I was no longer part of his life and the irony is that now I'm not longer part of his or your life and it's horrible, then he came back to me and then he stopped being yours, he stopped being mine and he became ours, he was our son, when that happened I couldn't stop picturing how my life could be whit both of you in it, we could had been a family, not the traditional one, but still a family. You, me and Henry. But if I wanted that I had to do the fist big step and I was too afraid to do it so I lose it all.
I've could had everything I always wanted, family, love and happiness because you two had given me that you two made me feel alive, cared and loved. But my fear and my selfishness blinded me and now I lost you both for the second time. The curse said it; this was my price to pay. I had to say goodbye to the thing I love the most; my family, my happiness.
I hope that you and Henry are happy and alright and remember Savior. I love you.
Regina.
Her vision was blurry; she knew she was holding the tears back.
Flashes started to come and go through the back of her mind. She saw her bug passing the 'Welcome to Storybrooke' sign, whist of purple smoke, the kiss that broke the first curse, she saw Regina and her parents, she remembered everything, she felt a sting as she remembered the last time she saw those brown eyes that always made her get lost in them.
This cannot be the end, she told herself.
