I Still Do
Song by The Cranberries. Lyrics in italics.
I'm not ready for this, though I thought I would be. I can't see the future, though I thought I could see.
Aeris ran through the Sleeping Forest, branches tearing at her hair and dress. Tears poured down her cheeks, over the bright bruise the Cloud had left, among other abrasions, on her cheek. His face, contorted with blind rage, his eyes pure white, haunted her face. Her heart ached at this betrayal, though she knew it wasn't his fault, and she forgave him.
I don't want to leave you, even though I have to… I don't want to love you, oh, I still do.
I need some time to find myself. Don't wanna live with this.
Aeris stopped running and leaned against a tree. She could still sense him behind her, but she couldn't leave Cloud like this. Her heart was tearing in two, at the prospect of leaving him like this. She closed out her eyes, and reached out with her mind, searching for his.
Can I go my own way? Can I pray my own way? I don't want to leave you, oh, I need you.
Am I ready for this? Did I think I would be? Can I see the future? No I can't see…
She sent Cloud a dream, a vision of her in the woods. She couldn't bring herself to say 'I love you' knowing this was the end. She gave him playful hints, teasing him as she always did, in her sweet way. She watched him try to follow her, but she couldn't let him catch her. If she did, it would destroy her resolve, and she might not go through with it.
Aeris opened her eyes, not realizing she was still connected to Cloud's mind. She turned toward the city and continued to run, tears trailing down her face.
I don't want to leave you, even though I have to. I don't want to love you, oh, I still do…
Cloud sat upright, tears rolls down his cheeks. He knew she was gone, knew she was going to die, and worst of all, in its own twisted way, knew she loved him, and was leaving him. He placed his head on his knees and cried, not carrying when first Barrett, then Tifa, then Vincent, finally all of them came into his room.
"Cloud, what's wrong?!" Tifa asked, panic in her voice.
Cloud lifted his head up, eyes red rimmed. Out of his mouth came a song, though the voice was not his.
I'm not ready for this, though I thought I would be. I can't see the future, though I thought I could see. I don't want to leave you, even though I have to. I don't want to love you, I still do. Can I go my own way? Can I pray my own way? I don't want to leave you, oh, I need you. Am I ready for this, did I think I would be? Can I see the future? No, I can't see. I don't want to leave you, even though I have to…
It was Aeris's voice, becoming more and more choked with tears. Cloud closed his mouth, and in his own voice said.
"Aeris is gone. She is trying to stop Sephiroth, but he is going to kill her. And I can't do a DAMN thing to stop it!"
I don't want to love you. I still do.
Don't worry Cloud. I'll be back when it's over.
