Author's Note: This is a random story that was my English work in school today.
There was once an old, rich tortoise named Charles Shellington the Third, who had a surprising large amount of money for such a small reptile. He lived in the pond opposite the hamster cage belonging to the poor Gillington McDuffy, who spent all his money on failed weight loss programs. Now, Gillington wanted Charles's money so he could pay for gastric band surgery. However, the money was kept in a black pot at the end of the rainbow, in a field of shamrocks, and guarded by a leprechaun named Paddy O' Doyle. Fortunatelyfor Gillington, Paddy O' Doyle had quit and moved back to Ireland where he could harvest shamrocks and twiddle his ginger beard till the day he died.
Now, in the dead of night, Gillington McDuffy launched himself at the rainbow (in brightly coloured roller skates, let's not forget) only noticing when he reached the top that there was a handy lift nearby. He then grabbed the pot of gold and slid back down the rainbow, getting rainbow burns, which were, well, rainbow coloured on his backside. This then forced him to get a skin graft, and thus he could not afford the gastric band. So instead he got liposuction, and had enough money left over to buy a huge hamster house, where he lived out the rest of his days in hamster bliss.
Charles Shellington the Third, however, was now an old and poor tortoise. Assuming that he had lost his money in the credit crunch, he blamed Gordon Brown and had to sell the pond and go live in a nursing home for the elderly where he died of a heart attack.
THE END
Author's note 2: For those of you that don't know, Gordon Brown is the current English Prime Minister who cannot do anything right.
