This story was conspired by the devious minds of JotunChick11 and SorceressSupreme XD

"Come and take a walk on the wild side...
Gonna kiss you hard in the pouring rain..." -Lana del Ray


"Maybe we should put real drugs in it," Darcy suggested with a laugh. "That'd be hilarious! You know, cuz he'd be all high and everything."

Astrid couldn't hold back a laugh. She poured some more creamer into the concoction, then gently stirred it all together. "Darcy! No! I'm not going to do that! Then he really wouldn't trust me."

Loki peered over Astrid's shoulder, muttering impatiently. "Is it almost done? Astrid, I think that's sweet enough. There should be NO way for the sorcerer to detect the coffee in there."

Ignoring the Asgardian, Astrid lifted the mug of "hot cocoa". She narrowed her gaze suspiciously. "Loki, this is delicate business. Stephen HATES coffee. Absolutely hates it. The taste, the smell... Everything about it. Do you have any idea what he would do if he found out we were trying to get him to drink it?"

Loki smirked devilishly, the corners of his mouth turning up in mischievous delight. "Oh, I can imagine. It would make for great entertainment."

Astrid sighed and rolled her eyes. She jabbed the spoon at him. "If Strange finds out about our plan ahead of time, I'm blaming YOU. And you know how kind our host can be when he's mad." Astrid smiled sweetly.

Darcy groaned loudly. "Come on." She bounced up and down in nervous impatience. "Are we gonna do this or what? Hey Astrid maybe you should taste test it first."

Astrid nodded quickly. Her nerves were all jumpy from all the sneaking around they'd been doing. It'd been a pain in the ass just to get the caffeinated beverage past the ever vigilant servant, Wong. Now the trio of pranksters had been laboring for a half hour to perfect their amalgam of coffee and sweeteners. Astrid blew lightly on the steaming liquid, held the cup to her lips, then took a small sip. Darcy and Loki watched her, waiting with bated breath. What few moments passed seemed to endure for an eternity. Then at last Astrid lowered the mug from her lips with a smile.

"I can't taste any coffee whatsoever. I think our potion is a success!" She raised her hand in a highfive, which Darcy promptly returned. Loki stared at the upraised hand for a moment, confusion etched on his features. Then he tentativeley highfived Astrid back.

"Okay, let's go!" Astrid cupped the mug tightly in her hands and dashed out the door, nearly sloshing the liquid all over herself in the process.

"Hey Wong where's Stephen?" she asked a bit breathlessly, several minutes later. It was easy to get lost in Stephen's house without the proper guide. Or the patience to walk slowly and watch where you were going.

The short Tibetan eyed her suspiciously. Astrid gave a nervous snicker. Surely Wong couldn't know what devious plans they had in mind for his master. "He is in the study..." he replied slowly. "May I ask why you are in need of him? It is not wise to distract him from his work."

Astrid grinned broadly. "Oh I know. But Wong, come on this ME we're talking about. He loves it when I bug him!" She edged past the servant, then waved for Loki and Darcy to follow her. Now that Astrid knew where they were going the trip was made easier.

The door to the study was firmly shut. Astrid knew what that meant. The great and powerful sorcerer didn't want to be disturbed. Ha! Well that was just too bad, because this coffee mug wasn't getting any lighter in her hands and she was dying to see what would happen to a caffeinated Stephen Strange. She'd entertained thoughts of it before but was only just now putting those ideas to action. Astrid took a deep breath, then lightly knocked on the door.

"Time to make like an Esther," she muttered, briefly recalling the story of a long ago queen who had been pardoned from disturbing the king. Yeah, something like that, she thought drily. After waiting for a half-second she pushed the door open. Loki and Darcy were keeping their distance though, until Astrid gave the all-clear.

Stephen himself was seated at the far end of the study, reading a small book and taking notes. Irritation flickered in his gaze when he first looked up, but when he saw that it was Astrid he relaxed. ''Astrid? What's wrong?"

"What? No, nothing's wrong. I wanted to see how you were doing." Astrid went over and plopped herself down in his lap, just barely keeping the drink from spilling over. While Astrid kept him distracted her friends snuck in to watch the scene unfold.

''What's that? Another one of your cursed concoctions?" Stephen asked drily, kissing the top of her head.

''No..." Astrid flushed guiltily. He had guessed it but luckily he hadn't been serious. ''It's hot chocolate. I made it for you."

Stephen glanced wearily at the mug of frothy liquid. "That's very nice..." he said slowly. Behind that soft gaze Astrid could tell he was trying to figure out her true motives. Hehe. He hesitated. Astrid smiled hopefully up at him, widening her eyes in innocence. "Go on, just try it." Astrid pressed the mug into Stephen's hands. "I won't give up until you do," she said firmly.

Stephen sighed in defeat then took the mug from her. Just as he was about to take a sip, he frowned and lowered the cup, giving her a look. "What exactly did you put in here?"

Oh shit. Astrid thought quickly. "Just, the usual stuff. You know, hot cocoa mix, some creamer. The works." Then she got offended. "What are you trying to say exactly?!" She glared hard at him, amber eyes glinting dangerously.

Stephen quickly took a sip. "Nothing! I just wanted to know is all." Astrid gave him a hard look and he took another sip of "cocoa". Astrid watched the man closely. She knew that he really didn't like hot chocolate either, his main preference being tea. But he also didn't want to hurt her feelings... Mwehehe. Astrid could use this to her advantage.

"Oh." Astrid's eyes watered up. "I get it. You don't like it..." her bottom lip trembled.

"What? No no! That's not it at all! Well, it's a little too sweet but..."

Astrid jumped up, turning her face away and setting her shoulders in a hunch. "I just wanted to do something nice for you. You're always working. But whatever. It doesn't matter I guess." Astrid felt a tad guilty for manipulating him like this, but it was necessary.

Stephen took her by the wrist and pulled her closer to him. "Astrid, there's no need to manipulate me," he said softly, grey eyes imploring her.

"I wasn't manipulating you! It's just that whenever I try to do something nice for you, you don't like it!'' Astrid retorted, getting frustrated.

''I love it when you do these things for me.'' Stephen whispered, kissing her hand. ''I'll drink it all. Just take it easy on the creamer next time. Okay?"

''Okay.'' She sat back down on his lap, watching intently as he drank it.

Loki came around behind them. "Yes Stephen. It's a very special drink she's made you. Lots of creamer, lots and lots of creamer.''

Stephen glared at him as he drank, blissfully unaware of their hazardous plot. Astrid felt like kicking the Asgardian. They were too close now for him to go and fumble all their efforts. She kept her expression cool and composed though.

''Very, very special. I believe you'll find it quite... How would you put it? Energizing." Loki smirked and then winced. ''Ow!"

"Oh I'm sorry Loki, I really didn't mean it." Darcy said, looking with sincere regret in her eyes. Then her expression changed. Her eyes read, "Don't give the plan away or something bad will happen in your future."

Loki rolled his eyes and looked away.

Stephen took the last sip and sighed. "What are you all staring at me for?"

"No reason. I just like watching you drink like 8 ounces of creamer." Darcy replied drily, shooting Loki a glare.

"Oka- What have you done to me?" Stephen gasped, clutching his abdomen and groaning.

"We put coffee in your drink!" Loki boasted, glancing at Darcy warily.

"Wait guys... What did you put in there Darcy? He's had coffee before, but he didn't act like this." Astrid asked, looking at Stephen worriedly.

"Oh. Highly caffeinated coffee, creamer, hot cocoa powder... Oh! And a whole can of Red Bull!" Darcy said proudly.

"YOU WHAT?!" Astrid roared, her hands clenching into fists as she leaped off of Stephen's lap.

"A whole can? You are truly amazing." Loki smiled affectionately at Darcy, looking her up and down.

"Thank you," Darcy replied, bowing slightly. "I wanted to make sure it worked Astrid. He'll be shaking for a little while, but he'll get over it... I think.''

Stephen got up and stumbled over to the door. Then he froze.

"Stephen..." Astrid said quietly.

A low chuckle emanated from him.

"What have we done?" Loki asked quietly.