A Wonderful Life
I stood in the entry hall of the site of the inter-high mahjong individual tournament for Nagano prefecture, still trying to come to grips with what had happened- my friends and I had been completely and utterly defeated.
Mere weeks ago, we, the five members of Tsuruga Academy's mahjong club, entered both the school and individual tournaments. We were an underdog by all standards and did not have much of a chance of winning, but I hoped that my teammates would, with our combined talents, help offset the odds. Our vanguard was Tsuyama Mutsuki, a seemingly less than confident, but very cautious and shrewd player. Our sergeant was Senoo Kaori, who was a neophyte at mahjong, but what she lacked in experience she more than made up for in beginner's luck. Our lieutenant was Kanbara Satomi, a cheerful and easy-going, but deceptively skilled mahjong player. Our vice-captain was Touyoko "Momo" Momoko, a talented online player who had the ability to cause other players to forget about her presence, and thus lower their guards and deal into her hands while ignoring any of her discards that could benefit them. And I, the captain, had put considerable effort into improving my play and analyzing our opponents, which I believed was proof that there was no such thing as an insurmountable obstacle in mahjong.
In spite of our preparations, we had been defeated in the team tournament- not by Amae Koromo and the rest of Ryuumonbuchi, or the regional powerhouse Kazekoshi, but by Kiyosumi, a no-name school like us. The individuals remained as a possibility for us to advance, but we knew that, with the strongest members of each of our rivals entering, as well as strong players who weren't part of a team, such as Nanpo Kazue and some of the higher-ranking benched players from Kazekoshi, our chances of victory were no better than they were in the team tournament.
Our hopes gradually waned as the tournament progressed. Senoo and Tsuyama were eliminated on the first day. Kanbara fell to a position at which she was beyond hope of advancing early on the second day. Momo and I, while ranked relatively high, were unable to make it into the top three. As the day came to an end, I heard the three names of those who would advance to the nationals- Fukuji Mihoko, Haramura Nodoka and Miyanaga Saki- and realized that my hopes of playing mahjong in the nationals in the inter-high tournament had been extinguished.
I walked outside, toward the parking lot where Kanbara had left her van, and saw Senoo and Tsuyama waiting outside, at the front door of the building, while Kanbara and Momo had recently arrived.
"Senpai..." Momo said, disheartened. Her shoulders slumped and from my perspective, she seemed to be fading into smoke, as she did when entering Stealth Mode during a game. Even if none of her teammates were depending on her efforts to advance, she found it hard to face them after her defeat.
"You did your best, Momo," I said, as I stepped to her side, lay my arm on her back and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure you'll go on to the nationals next year."
"I know~su..." she said despondently, as we began the walk back to Kanbara's van. She was cognizant of the fact that for me, this was my last chance in high school, and that if regardless of whether she advanced to the nationals with her team or in the individuals, she would not do so with me.
The drive back home was largely quiet. No one especially cared to talk about our loss in the tournament, whether the individuals that day or the inter-high prefecturals in the recent past. We had no shortage of time to reflect on our failures- some of us would have to wait until next year to try again, while others would not get the chance again. Even for those who could benefit from that reflection, doing so seemed to be too little too late, at best.
It was only after I got out of Kanbara's van, outside my apartment complex- Momo and Tsuyama had been dropped off at their homes by this point- that I realized that she hadn't been driving like herself that time. It was more or less how a normal person would have driven- staying within the speed limit, not making any reckless moves and generally driving safely and sanely. Even when we were, relatively speaking, at our most optimistic, she never held out much hope of advancing, but had hoped that Momo and I would make it to the nationals. While Kanbara generally takes things in stride, she does not seem to be completely immune to disappointment and frustration, which I suspect she felt to some degree after having five of us enter and none of us advance.
"See you tomorrow at school, Yumi-chin," Kanbara said.
"Good night, Kajiki-senpai," Senoo said.
"Until we see each other again, Kanbara, Senoo," I said.
After watching Kanbara drive away to drop off Senoo before going home, I opened the door to my family's apartment.
"I'm home," I said as I stepped in the front door and started taking off my shoes.
"Welcome home, Yumi," my mother said. "I saw the results- you did your best, as did your teammates. Getting into the top ten out of the dozens of mahjong players your age is something to be proud of."
"Thanks, Mom," I said. While I knew my mother was proud of me, I couldn't help but interpret her words as the same kind of consolation that I had tried to give to Momo- it was well-intentioned, but it was a poor salve for a fresh wound. She had less knowledge of mahjong than even Senoo did, only knowing that we, by drawing and discarding tiles, competed to form hands for high scores. But in spite of that, I appreciated that she never tried to judge my hobby- although it pained me to call it a mere hobby- in spite of her lack of understanding, or try to keep me from playing mahjong.
Dinner was somewhat late and light, to take into account how late the tournament would end. Having caught up on my homework in advance because of the tournament, and not in the mood to do anything else, I decided to go to bed early. I got undressed, took a quick shower, changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. But sleep did not come easily to me that night.
There were many unanswered questions going in my head. Was there anything I could have done better? What could I have done to better prepare my teammates for the tournament? Should Kanbara and I have done more in the previous two years? Most of the answers I came up with seemed to be obvious now, but only in retrospect; I wished they had come long ago.
Another unanswered question resurfaced in my mind, but this time it was not originally mine. A few weeks ago, Momo had asked me about what would happen at the end of the year, when I graduated and she advanced to her second year in high school. From one point of view, one that Momo herself considered, once our participation in the tournament came to an end, I would be unable to enter the autumn qualifiers, essentially putting an end to my high school mahjong career and leaving me with no reason to continue going to the mahjong club- which I had recruited her for, and which was the place we saw the most of each other, as students in separate grades. Life after high school mahjong was no longer something to put off thinking about for the future, or something that I could think of as a possible outcome, but it was our present and our reality.
People's minds go to strange and often dark places when they're depressed. Kanbara once joked that someone as smart as I was would be able to think of many more ways things might go wrong than the average person could, and because I spent so much time thinking, I would worry about them all the more. I reminded her that she was smarter than she let on, and she admitted that while she thought of many alternate possibilities and possible things that could go wrong, she chose not to consider them, so that she could live in the moment, and live as happily as possible. That mindset made a certain amount of sense, but, as I told her at the time, it was one I could not easily adopt.
I then began to wonder- what if I had gone to a school other than Tsuruga? Having done surprisingly well against Amae Koromo where even the second best player of Kazekoshi struggled to even stay in the game, much less win, I suspected that I would have easily made the team if I went to school there, or attracted Ryuumonbuchi Touka's attention if I went to school near her and the rest of her hand-picked team.
In that moment, I forgot the reasons why I went to Tsuruga, why it was the only school I wanted to bring to victory in the tournament. And at that moment, it seemed as though someone saw fit to remind me.
"Greetings, Yumi!" a feminine voice that resembled Haramura Nodoka's said, although I doubted someone as well-mannered as her would be so familiar with me. But I looked up and saw the girl as looking almost exactly like her- she had a skimpy and somewhat frilly white dress that mostly exposed her very large breasts, pink hair in twintails, and white angelic wings- the image most often associated with "Nodocchi".
"Haramura?" I said. The girl shook her head.
"Not quite," she said. "You can call me Nodocchi. As for why I'm here, have you ever heard the story of a man who, burdened by despair, frustration and regret, wonders what life would be like if he were not born?"
"I have," I said.
"I spent the last hour watching videos of your life since starting high school," Nodocchi said. "I've seen it all- the day you first arrived, how you met Kanbara Satomi and got better at mahjong after reading a book, how you spent two years in the club and the school while Kazekoshi and Ryumonbuchi took the prefectural championship, how you recruited new members for your tournament, and ultimately, your and your school's defeat in the individual and school tournaments."
"I see," I said expectantly. "But what is the point of all this? You've told me things I already know, and are recounting what was at a time when I'm wondering about what might have been."
"I'm here to show you what would have happened if you had gone to Kazekoshi insteaed of Tsuruga," Nodocchi said. I immediately recognized the proposition as the same one George Bailey had been given, although I found it strange that Nodocchi already had her wings. "Once we're done, I'd like to hear from you whether you think you and the others would be better off after what you've seen."
Suddenly, my entire surroundings shifted and faded away, which made me think I was dreaming as I felt myself leaving the room.
I saw myself, wearing the Kazekoshi uniform and standing with the others in Kazekoshi's waiting room in the tournament building, in an apparently celebratory mood. Glancing outside, I could tell that it was still in the night, but when I looked at a nearby clock in the room- not having my watch or cell phone- I could see that it was not long after sundown. Nodocchi and I stood in the room, and apparently no one could see us, not unlike Momo in Stealth Mode. It would be hard not to notice someone who was dressed in her pajamas, and virtually impossible not to notice a scantily clad angel-like girl with pink hair, extremely large breasts and white wings.
Kazekoshi's captain, Fukuji Mihoko, approached the version of myself who was my teammate.
"Congratulations, Kajiki-san," Fukuji said. "You did well overcoming Amae Koromo, as well as the surprisingly strong player Ueno-san appointed as her captain."
"Thank you, Captain," the version of myself at Kazekoshi said. "It was a narrow victory, but the points you and the others gathered in the previous rounds enabled us to triumph. As the captain player, it's my job to either continue our lead or turn things around, and I'm happy it's the former."
"You did well, Kajiki," a blonde woman in a suit who appeared to be Kazekoshi's coach said; both I and my alter-ego at Kazekoshi turned reflexively upon hearing our name. "But all of you have a long way to go before you can win the nationals this year. Work hard and do your best to advance farther than you did last year and the year before."
Something seemed oddly friendly about this coach, whom I assumed to be fairly harsh on her students, never giving praise without "buts" or "howevers", or missing an opportunity to chastise us them for their mistakes. But while I could simply conclude that what was likely the best-case scenario, I did well enough to impress this tough critic, there was something that was not so easily dismissible.
"Wait a minute," I said to Nodocchi. "Even if I could defeat Amae and Miyanaga here, and I had strong teammates, what about the other three teams in the other four rounds?"
"Here's the results for each round," Nodocchi said, before handing me the records of the matches. I quickly perused them. Fukuji had gained a strong lead in the first round, and Yoshitome had led in the second. Ikeda and Fukabori had lost some points in the third and fourth rounds, but not enough to so that the small gains made by Kiyosumi and Ryuumonbuchi caused them to become threats. In the final round, I had, against all odds, won against Amae.
My winning against Amae did not strike me as unreasonable- not only did strong mahjong players run the risk of losing to weaker players, but anything could happen in this vision of what might have been, and it made sense for Nodocchi to show me the best possible outcome. It was possible she was trying to tempt or tantalize me, but it seemed more likely that she was setting me up for something else that was far less pleasant.
But something immediately seemed off to me, and I looked it over a second time, glancing at the names of the schools and players. I recognized most of the names from Kiyosumi, Kazekoshi and Ryuumonbuchi- fourteen of our opponents at the inter-high tournament, except for Bundou, who apparently lost her spot on the team to me. But then I looked at the fourth school, and instead of Tsuruga, there was Sosubana, the most difficult of our opponents in the first round.
"Wait a minute..." I said, "Tsuruga didn't make it to the prefectural finals?"
"It is worse than that," Nodocchi said. "They did not even enter the tournament. Or, more accurately, they could not with only three members."
"Three?" I said. I understood that I was not part of the club, and Momo most likely never would have joined. But did Kanbara really so easily give up on recruiting others?
Nodocchi's grim expression told me that the answer was "yes," before we moved on much like we had before.
The scene shifted to the Tsuruga mahjong club room, with Kanbara and Senoo sitting at computers as Tsuyama walked in. I took my usual seat at the table as Tsuyama took hers.
"Did you have any luck?" Tsuyama said.
"No one's showed up yet today," Kanbara said. "Well, apart from that player with the default username we played earlier."
"The one we asked to come, but told us we couldn't find her?" Senoo said. "She seemed really good at mahjong; if you had more players like her, then you wouldn't need to rely on someone as inexperienced as I."
"Maybe," Tsuyama said, "But even if she came, we'd still need another person to go to the tournament. We don't even have any applicants, much less viable candidates."
"Perhaps the two of you could enter the individuals?" Senoo said. "You seem really good at mahjong, although I'm just a beginner, so I can't really tell."
"I've thought about it," Tsuyama said. "But I honestly don't think that I'm good enough to get very far. I'd just end up humiliating myself."
It pained me a little to admit it to myself, but Tsuyama was correct. She and Senoo had been eliminated in the first round of the individuals. I then had to wonder- would Tsuyama have gotten onto a team like Kazekoshi that not only had members to spare, but could make them compete for their spots on the team? I could not confidently say yes. As for Senoo, while she had no experience and little interest in mahjong, she came to enjoy it, and Kanbara was happy to have her childhood friend on the team. If she was a bench-warmer at Kazekoshi, I doubt she would have become as enthusiastic, even if she had or made friends there. Having only enough to fill the team meant that no one could be replaced, but no one was expendable- knowing that we were the only ones who could compete in the tournament was a large part of our impetus to do the best we could, as well as improve ourselves so that our "best" would get better.
"A lot of the other schools, even those in our prefecture, have coaches that offer professional guidance to players, and members with tournament experience," Kanbara said. "It's probably better to stick to something that's more our speed, and see if we can find more people to play with in Tsuruga."
Kanbara had teased me a little for being "greedy" for wanting to go as far as possible in the tournament, but behind her usual sense of humor, she respected my ambition and had once told me that I was the primary driving force behind their aiming high, and had made the greatest contribution to giving us a chance to achieve our lofty goals. She also said that if she helped people keep perspective, I inspired them to push themselves farther and accomplish more.
As I thought about the bonds the others on the team shared, I was reminded of my own bonds. I didn't know Tsuyama or Senoo well, but considered them friends- albeit not quite close ones- and comrades in a sense, sharing an interest and striving toward our shared goal of victory at mahjong tournaments together. Kanbara was one of those people who defied my expectations, initially appearing empty-headed, but turning out to be not only good at playing mahjong, but also at putting things in perspective, both at the table and in life.
And, of course, there was Momo. It was somewhat natural that she would latch onto me so tightly, as I was perhaps her first friend at school, and had a special significance as the first person to actively reach out to her. But I then had to wonder about and reflect on my reasons for staying so close to her. She was a skilled player, one of the few at Tsuruga who was able to play on even footing with me, even without Stealth Mode. Every time I talked to her and learned more about her, I felt as though I'd found a treasure in a place no one had thought to look. Before long, her value to the team seemed a secondary priority compared to getting to know and getting closer to her as a person- was this what it felt like to fall in love?
I also hoped she would make other friends, so that more people would get to know the kind of person she is, and was pleased as she started opening up to our teammates. Indeed, would anyone have thought to bring her out into the open if I, or someone like me, never had the audacity to walk into a classroom that was not even in my grade, and call out to her?
"And what about Momo?" I said. "Where is she in this scenario in which I never came to her school?"
"More or less the same as she was when you found her," Nodocchi said. It was the answer I expected, but nevertheless, it was, in some ways, perhaps the most depressing answer she could possibly have given.
The scenery shifted again, and we came to Momo, who was sitting at a computer, all by herself, in a classroom. While Tsuruga's interior was somewhat spartan for a high school, the surroundings seemed to be black and white for some reason, as if someone took a photo of them with an antique camera and digitally edited Momo in from a more modern photograph.
She seemed oddly placid as she played mahjong on the computer. Eventually, the session came to an end, and after the customary post-game courtesy, she signed out of the match and logged off of the computer. I expected to see her shed a tear out of loneliness or let out a longing sigh, but there was no such emotional gesture. Her isolation was what many would consider unbearable, but it elicited no reaction from her. She was resigned to her fate of being isolated and neglected, and that was most tragic of all.
When I saw "A Wonderful Life" years ago, I learned of how George Bailey had changed the lives of his family, as well as the entire town he lived in. For me, my presence at Tsuruga had enabled one girl to break out of her shell, and the mahjong club to get a chance to aspire to be something more than a small group of students who shared a hobby. In this reality, none of my teammates were dead, in prison, homeless, or suffering any other bleak fate, but they were worse off without my presence and influence. It was a relatively small impact by comparison, albeit not surprisingly so given that I had a little less than three years to make it. But it was nevertheless beneficial, as well as significant all the same, and I realized that I would not want to change it.
"I see what you're saying," I said. "I regret ever wishing, even for a moment, that I'd gone to another school."
"That's good to hear," Nodocchi said. To me, this is when Nodocchi sounded most like Haramura; I could hardly imagine Haramura choosing to go to Kiyosumi for its mahjong team, but she seemed happy to be there, and would have said the same thing if our positions were reversed.
"So, is this the point where you ask me whether I want to keep things the way they were or change them, Nodocchi? I think I can safely say my answer is no."
Nodocchi smiled for a moment, but her expression then turned serious. The scenery seemed to shift to outside Tsuruga- my high school, soon to be my alma mater, and the school where I felt most at home.
"That is fortunate, Yumi," Nodocchi said, "because I never was able to offer any such choice. This is all about your coming to terms with what happened."
I sighed. This was the most difficult part, and the part in which Nodocchi could help me the least.
"Tsuruga's chance to win the tournament has been lost, as well as mine, Momo's, Kanbara's, Tsuyama's and Senoo's," I said. "I have no intention of scapegoating any of my teammates or claiming that the result was in any way unfair- we all did our best, but it wasn't quite good enough. I'm also quite aware that several schools lost their chance to advance so that we could advance this far- it's only fair that the best school wins. But what is there for us now?"
"That depends- who is 'us?'" Nodocchi said. "The five members of the club? You and Momo? You and Satomi, the third years? Or the entire club, including the members who have yet to come? The answer varies depends on whom you're asking about, but even though you've been defeated, the only thing that is certain apart from that is your graduation at the end of the year. As for what you can do, in the coming weeks and months, that's your answer to determine, should you choose to do so."
It was then that I thought back to the tournament results. When I saw Kiyosumi, a school with only five female members that had never been to the prefectural tournament before, triumph in the prefectural tournament, my first question after the similarity between us occurred to me was "Why them and not us?"
I still wished that we, rather than Kiyosumi were the school that advanced to the nationals. If I had to choose three girls to advance to the nationals from the individual tournament, I would choose myself, Momo and Kanbara. And yet, our result could not be changed, but the tournament result was not yet decided- perhaps Kiyosumi could overcome the odds and win. Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing if they did.
Evidently sensing that I had come to a decision, Nodocchi smiled and spread her wings. I had heard that the angel Clarence helped save George Bailey from suicide to earn his wings, but Nodocchi had no such motivation here. While one part of me searched for a possible ulterior motive, another chose to accept the simplest explanation- that she did what she did for me out of kindness.
"It looks like the answer has become clear to you," Nodocchi said. "I wish you the best, Yumi, and remember- no girl is a failure who has friends."
Nodocchi's wings beat behind her back, and she slowly bent her knees. She pushed off from the ground in a small jump as she flapped her wings, sending her soaring into the air. A gust of wind blew at my face as she did; I reflexively shielded my face with my hand for a moment, and when I lowered my arm, I found myself once again lying in bed.
I soon drifted off to sleep, or perhaps the dream merely ended.
I woke up the next morning, and glanced at my calendar- it was the day after the individuals ended, and already time to get ready to go back to school.
I hastily checked the closet for my uniform, and saw a blazer, a skirt, a dress shirt and a necktie. After buttoning my shirt, tucking it into my skirt, tying my necktie and slipping on my blazer, I looked myself over in the mirror, and decided that this seemed natural for me. Granted, I soon would have to change into the summer uniform, and after this year, I would no longer have to wear a school uniform, but for now, all was well.
I remembered why I had fought so hard to advance in the tournament- so that Momo and I could go together to the nationals, and make the most of our remaining time together. And while we had failed to make the most of that chance, it did not mean that we would no longer be together- not even my graduation was an insurmountable obstacle.
I assumed my encounter with Nodocchi last night and everything she had shown me had all been a dream- Haramura would probably say the same- and at least, wanted to think of it as such. All those realities in which I left my friends and school behind in the selfish hope of winning a tournament could stay where they belonged, in my imagination. In reality, I did not have everything I wanted, but I had many things I would never give up, and realized that while my life was not perfect, it was wonderful in many ways.
Epilogue
A few days passed since the individuals, and we changed into our summer uniforms, exchanging our blazers for cardigans and sometimes, our long-sleeved shirts for short-sleeved ones. One morning, however, I, slightly late for school, noticed the rest of the club- the friends with whom I played mahjong, and whom I hoped to bring to the nationals with me- waiting outside.
"Good morning, senpai!" Momo said, appearing outside the building
"Good morning, Momo," I said. "It's good to see you here too, Kanbara, Senoo, Tsuyama."
"Now that you're here, Kajiki-senpai," Tsuyama said, "I have a letter I got this morning, addressed to our team, that I'd like to discuss with you and the president."
Tsuyama tended to leave decisions to Kanbara and I, whether because she was a cautious and less than confident individual, or because she had long been the most junior member of the club, until Momo joined. But now that Tsuyama had been appointed as club president, Kanbara and I hoped to break her of that habit.
"Soon to be former president," Kanbara said cheerfully. "But go ahead, Mukki."
"It's from Kiyosumi's president, Takei Hisa-san," Tsuyama said. "She's inviting us, Ryuumonbuchi and Kazekoshi to a combined training camp. The location is somewhat distant from us, but not much farther than the tournament center. Based on what we have, I believe it is within our means to go there, but what do you think? Should we go?"
I paused to consider this. From one perspective, it seemed cruel, in some ways. The victor, having dashed our hopes of advancing further in the tournament, asked us to help them ascend to even greater heights of glory. That was certainly audacious at best and arrogant at worst. However, that also spoke to a belief that they would have to get better in order to advance, and if they were willing to ask their former opponents nicely, it showed a certain degree of humility, politeness and flexibility. I was not the sort to refuse a respectful request of that sort out of petty spite, nor did I have feelings of the sort against those who defeated us. The only grounds on which I felt we could refuse were if it was not feasible for us to participate, and I saw little to indicate that it was not.
But there were reasons for us to participate as well. Senoo was brought in as a raw beginner, and I had, when she first joined, thought that she was only useful as a warm body in a Tsuruga academy uniform, who would get us into the tournament but not necessarily help us win it. I was pleasantly surprised at her beginner's luck, which was far superior to how she would have been if she had practiced in the short time we had to prepare, but in order to do better next year, she would have to practice and improve as a player. The same went for Tsuyama, even if she would not face someone as skilled as Fukuji in the vanguard round. I also hoped to improve Momo, to make her a monster who could stand against even Miyanaga and Amae. Naturally, Kiyosumi's president was most likely aware of how we could benefit. Was her invitation out of the fact that she would not be around to face her former opponents in the next tournament? Was it out of a pragmatic belief in a mutually beneficial practice? Or was it simply because her team needed experience, and she wanted those she knew well and possibly liked, to help them get it? Perhaps Nodocchi counted them as my friends as much as she did my teammates, and I found it hard to disagree.
Of course, I had to admit that while I would be fine with Tsuruga taking the prefectural championship next year despite my not being on the team at that time, I had a more personal reason to attend the training camp, especially after the invitation requested the entire Tsuruga team. Momo and I would have a fair amount of time together there. It wasn't quite taking Tsuruga to the national tournament together as we had hoped, or even the two of us going to Tokyo for the individuals- although I had by now realized that things don't always go as you hoped. But it was still time together, and I hoped that, for Momo, it was proof that I wanted her around even after I was no longer able to play mahjong for our school.
But while my logic, my gut feeling and my heart told me to say yes, I also realized that I had to consider whether this was feasible for everyone else, and not make a final decision for everyone immediately.
"Let's think it over for a bit before we send a reply, but I can't think of any reasons not to say yes," I said. "Does anyone here have any conflicts, or other reasons they might not be able to attend?"
"None," Tsuyama said.
"No, I don't think so," Senoo said.
"None at all~su," Momo said.
"Nope," Kanbara said. "My grandma asked me to visit her near Tokyo, but that's some time away- I think it's around the time the Nationals started."
I briefly considered Kanbara's seemingly off-hand comment, and wondered if she was saying that to console me over our loss by implying that she could not have made it anyway, but I realized that seeing her family was not necessarily in conflict with the tournament.
But then I realized its significance- we had a reason to go to Tokyo, as well as a convenient and affordable place to stay.
"Let's talk this over at the pool after class, Kanbara," I said. "Momo was going to give me some swimming lessons today."
"That's right~su!" Momo said, pleased.
"Sure thing," Kanbara said.
As Kanbara and I parted ways with the underclassmen to head to class, I glanced back at the three other girls, and saw them as the future of our mahjong club. If we could raise their skills, we could bring a stronger team. Perhaps Tsuyama would gain some mahjong victories that would bolster her confidence. Perhaps Senoo could, rather than relying on her beginner's luck, win through her own skill and learn to love mahjong like I did. Perhaps Momo would become a rising star and make herself visible to the nation, much as she had made an impact through her performance in the prefecturals.
I had to wonder if this was all overly optimistic wishful thinking on my part; but I knew that one of the parts that made life worth living was the possibility for tomorrow to be better than yesterday. I would cherish my remaining time with Momo at the same school this year, and retain the hope of being together in the future. While I could no longer participate in a mahjong tournament, I would spend all my energy getting the club ready for the next one. Rather than regret past failures, I would enjoy the present and dedicate myself to making a better future.
Author's Notes
Thank you for reading this fic.
Yumi initially appears to be quite disappointed over the loss, although she does come to terms with it by the time she decides to come to the training camp, and I wrote the fic to show this stage of her coping. She's also intelligent enough to catch on to what Nodocchi is showing her easily, but has enough doubt in her decision for Nodocchi to pay her a visit. Personally, I can't help but wish that Tsuruga had advanced in the tournament instead of Kiyosumi, or that Yumi and/or Momo had made it to the nationals of the individuals, but I suppose that's what happens to fans of teams other than the protagonists.
Yumi seems to be the most likely of the characters who lost in the prefecturals to regret how things turned out, (especially since Tsuruga has never gotten to the nationals in the last three years, if it ever did) and consider how things might have been if something had changed. I had considered putting Hisa in as Clarence, in her second year when only she and Mako were there, but it would have essentially required having her predict the future.
Having Nodocchi as Clarence was inspired in part by the "Captain Half" doujin, in which Nodocchi appears as the fairy in the "Honest Axe" fairy tale. The other part is that since Nodocchi looks angelic, I decided she would be a good representation of the angel in this work. Her having wings while Clarence had none is intentional.
I decided to make Yumi invisible to the other people in the alternate reality, since she, unlike George Bailey, still exists in the alternate reality, and while it might be entertaining to see her asking questions about the world and having people react like she's (possibly literally) insane, she's smart enough to avoid falling into those situations.
Sosubana is noted briefly as being a regional mahjong powerhouse, but one whose vice-captain still fell prey to Momo's Stealth Mode, and ultimately lost to Tsuruga.
The ending is meant to lead into Episode 24, in which Yumi and Satomi discuss Kiyosumi's invitation at the pool.
