Ridge Road Ramble
By Gwenneth
A/N: I don't own the Dukes and I don't claim to. I'm just havin' a little fun with them for a while. I promise I won't hurt'em…too much. This is the first story I've written on the Dukes of Hazzard. And I'm a new fan too, of the original series of course, so pardon the errors I might make!
Enjoy! And bug me to update if I don't…I'm a quick writer, but I get lazy when no one appears to be readin'! And now…on with the show!
Balladeer: A beautiful day in Hazzard County. Now if'n you haven't been here before, there's one thing you should be made aware of real fast. Everything is grounds for a ticket in Hazzard. Even driving the speed limit.
"What does he want this time." Bo Duke sighed as he glanced at the side mirror again and watched as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane's car zipped around the bend he and Luke had just swerved around in the General Lee.
"You know he don't need much of a reason to chase us, Bo," Luke said, craning his head around to get a look at Roscoe's car. "Do you reckon we oughta lose him? You know we promised Uncle Jesse we'd be home by three to help with the porch roof."
Bo's face lit up and he gripped the wheel a little tighter. "Sure thing, cousin. Hang on!" And with a trademark Yi-Haw, the General shot forward and around another bend in the dirt road.
Behind the orange Charger, Roscoe P. Coltrane looked over at the passenger seat – and his companion Flash – and khee'd with glee. "Oh, hot pursuit, I love it, I love it! I'm gonna get them Duke boys this time, Flash."
And he put the pedal to the floor to try it.
The two cars spun and swerved along old Mill Pond Road and inch by inch the Duke's started to pull away from Roscoe's patrol car. Seeing this, Roscoe scowled and pulled the CB from its hook.
"Listen here you two! You pull over right this instant! I'm warnin' ya! I'm gonna catch ya!"
Laughing, Luke picked up the CB in the General. "If you plan on catchin' us, Roscoe, that patrol car better have wings." To his cousin he added, "Hit it Bo. You know the bridge is out, but since when has that ever stopped us?"
"It ain't!" Bo said, flooring the pedal and watching the speedometer hit 65 miles per hour. "Hang on!"
The General Lee hit the natural ramp before the bridge, went air borne and arched gracefully across the span of the creek before crashing down on the other side, Bo hanging onto the wheel tightly and gritting his teeth until he had it back under control. Then he smiled.
"Bye Roscoe!"
The ever intrepid sheriff of Hazzard, not to be outdone, floored his pedal too. As he went airborne, Roscoe scrunched down in his seat and grimaced. "Oh oh!" But he too hit the ground on the other side.
"Dang!" Bo exclaimed, smacking the steering wheel. "Roscoe made the jump! He's getting' better."
"No'e ain't! Look!" Luke pointed and Bo looked in the side mirror just as Roscoe's patrol car went front-end first into a culvert on the side of the road. "Looks like he still needs to learn to recover!"
Bo laughed as he took the General towards the Duke Farm.
"Roscoe, you couldn't catch them Duke's if they put themselves in the backseat of your patrol car! I ask you to do one simple thing and you can't even do that. You better hope them Duke's don't catch on to our little operation this time."
Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg, county commissioner, bank owner, mortgage holder…and well…you just can't name them all…didn't even look up from the stack of money he was counting in his office at the Boar's Nest.
"But Boss…them Duke boys keep jumpin' streams and creeks, heck even Hazzard Pond, with that orange clunker the General Lee! You'd think they were birds or somethin'!" Roscoe reached for a chicken leg, but was immediately swatted away by his little fat buddy's pudgy hand. Scowling, he moved to the other side.
"I don't care if they turn that car into an airplane. Don't let them near Ridge Road. It's too risky. Them Dukes catch one glimpse of those cars we're swipin' and strippin' and you can say goodbye to your 10 percent of the profits!" Boss swatted Roscoe away again. "Don't you have something else to do?"
Rubbing his hand, Roscoe shook his head. "Not really Boss. Them Dukes went home."
Boss groaned. "Roscoe, go check up on them hired help on Ridge Road. Make sure the strippin' is going fine. I've got buyers for them parts and I don't want to keep them waiting."
"Yes, sir, my little fat buddy. I'm gone!"
Boss stuck his fat stogie in his mouth again and went back to counting his money. "Them Dukes are nothin' but a heap of trouble. They see what I've got goin' up on that road and they are gonna blow this operation sky high."
Glancing at the clock, he sighed. "Where are those two?"
Two unsavory looking fellas entered the Boar's Nest as Boss was doing his wondering and walked up to the bar. "Hello pretty lady. You know where we can find Mr. Hogg?"
Daisy Duke smiled at the men, though she didn't like the looks of them. "He's in his office, fellas. I'll just let'im know you're here. Sit tight."
The four eyes followed her as she rounded the bar and went to Boss' door. "Excuse me, Boss?" She cracked it open and frowned at the site of all that money. "There's two fellas here to see you."
"Ah!" Boss exclaimed, shoving his money into his office safe. "Send'im in!"
She did and Boss smiled cajolingly at the two. "Welcome to the Boar's Nest, gentlemen. Why don't you have a seat?" He pointed to two chairs at his small table as he took the third.
"We'll stand, Hogg. You promised us a hefty load of engine parts and we're beginning to get worried. Them parts don't come cheap and you ain't askin' much," one of the men said, pointing a calloused finger at Boss.
The pudgy man frowned. "You aren't insinuating I don't have what I promised? Are you? Because J.D. Hogg doesn't go back on a business deal. I have them parts and I'll have'm ready for you to pick up soon. Do you have the cash?"
"Randall, show'im."
Randall, a tall, dark-haired man with hair all over his face glared at Boss and pulled a suitcase from his side. Flipping the top up, he spun it around toward Boss. "$5,000 in cash. Course, you only get half now. The rest comes when we receive the merchandise."
"Sure thing, Casey." Boss said, eyes riveted to the money and hand moving toward it. He pulled it back like it had been stung when Randall snapped the lid of the suitcase shut. "Don't you be forgettin' Hogg. We only trust you as far as we can throw you. Which ain't far."
Casey flung $2,500 at Boss and both men turned heel and made for the door. "Remember Hogg. Pickup on Ridge Road at 5 p.m. Sunday. You better have the parts or you'll have no need for that money."
Boss swallowed as the door banged shut. He reached over to his CB and shouted, "Roscoe. It's on for Sunday. You keep you-know-who out of the area until after we're through with our business."
Roscoe ten-foured over the CB and Boss went to the table to faun over his money.
"Gosh, Uncle Jesse, it's a wonder this here porch roof didn't fall down on us already!" Bo wiped the back of his neck with his undershirt, which both he and Luke had discarded to work on the porch.
Jesse frowned at his nephews. "Well if you boys would spend less time prancin' around in the General and more time workin' at your chores, we mighta fixed it before it tried to clobber me on the noggin yesterday."
Luke and Bo held in their laughter, remembering how Uncle Jesse had come out of the house to remind them to be home in time for supper and had found himself inches from a partially caved in porch roof.
"Sorry, we'll do better, we promise," Luke smiled, pounding in another nail. "Right Bo?"
"Hey, cuz. You speak for yourself. But really Uncle Jesse, we will do better. We don't want no one getting' hurt on account we didn't do our chores right and proper."
Jesse hrumphed and went back in the house to help Daisy set the food out on the table. "Hey, Luke? Why do you reckon Roscoe was chasin' us earlier. We was only going 55 and there weren't no one in the area."
"I dunno, Bo. But I wanna go on out again tomorrow and test the General's new radiator some more. Best place to do that is Ridge Road. IF he can get up it, we'll have our answer as to whether the radiator's fixed or not."
Bo smiled and jumped down from the porch roof.
"Sounds like a plan to me, cousin. Now, let's go see if Daisy's done with dinner yet. I'm starved."
"You're always hungry, Bo."
He dodged a slap toward his shoulder.
Balladeer: I reckon those boys are gonna be in a heap o' trouble if they try to drive Ridge Road tomorrow. Why is it they always end up in the one place they don't wanna be? Y'all stick around now.
