A/N: This is a little two-shot (tentatively) that came to me somehow. I'm actually not even sure. I think it was because I found a mysterious bruise on my knee. Well, I transformed this into a spin off of Of Hockey, Harmonies, and Husbands. This would take place far, FAR down the line of this story. There aren't spoilers for the story except for one main big one. But you will probably overlook that anyway.
I hope that's everything I wanted to say, because I can't remember anything else actually. Well. Please enjoy and let me know was you think!
...
Coerced
Part 1
...
She hated herself. No, she loathed herself - detested, abhorred, despised herself. She was repelled by her own actions so much she vexed everything she even was. She was nothing more than a despicable human, staining the ground she even walked on. She was so disgusted with herself, she felt like she could vomit.
But how can a wonderful life turn sour so fast? How can it be possible to loathe yourself so much over something small? For in actuality, it wasn't like she killed anyone, it wasn't like she stole something, but maybe what she did was even worse than both of those? For yes, she betrayed her fiancé - her best friend, her meant-to-be.
With a shaky step, Éponine stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby of her office building. The place was dead except for a security guard parked in the far off corner - looking more engrossed in his phone than his job. She headed for the main doors, seeing through the glass how the night had dimmed to darkness.
Enjolras would be waiting for her just as he always did come the end of the work day. He would pick her up and drive her home. Oh, her step faltered just thinking about the happy smile that would be waiting to greet her. The guilt pooled in her stomach more and more…
His words echoed clearly through her mind, as if he were right there saying them to her again. She felt her face flat against the hard wooden floor, her labored breathing, her pounding heart as he spoke in a most familiar grueling and commanding tone.
"We will do this every week - twice a week - unless you would rather look for a new job."
The closer Éponine walked to the door, the more she couldn't help but despise herself. This was all far from over - in fact, it had only just begun.
She just couldn't understand how everything had just managed to change in the blink of an eye. Her life had been splendid. Everything was going to plan just nicely. Enjolras had proposed to her just short of two months ago. They had both begun to plan their wedding which was supposed to take place a few months from now. Éponine had even moved in with her fiancé, hoping to cut the cost of living - and it had worked out just as planned.
But aside from her home life improving, even Azelma had started getting really serious with Courfeyrac. The two were even discussing marriage. But that wasn't it, Azelma had also landed a job in Combeferre's pediatric office, and here, she was making more money than she ever had before. Even Gavroche was doing well. He was finishing up his freshman year in college now and even managed to land on the Dean's List this year. Éponine hadn't heard from Montparnasse in a while, the only bruises left on her were memories, and it seemed that even her father had given up trying to contact her. Added to all of this, Éponine had the wonderful support of her and Enjolras' friends. Yes, for the first time in her life, everything was perfect.
She should've known it would never last.
To help with their draining financial situation, Éponine had finally landed a job. After months and months of searching, disappointing interviews, unanswered emails and phone calls, after all of that, Éponine had finally gotten a job at the top rated newspaper in Boston. Somehow, exactly a month ago, she had managed to become a first assistant to the Editor-in-Chief of the Boston Herald. It was a dream job...well, at least it had felt like it was until today.
Her boss was so nice and so caring, always making sure she was taken care of when actually she was the one supposed to be taking care of the Mr. Jay Pierson. But whenever she made a mistake and typed up the wrong assignment for him, or gotten him light roast coffee instead of dark roast, he would smile politely and warmly correct her. Éponine just felt at ease around him. They made innocent conversation, he was always interested in what she had to say and was always looking to make her feel welcome. He just made her feel good about herself in everything, even to the point of complimenting her outfits and appearance daily.
Éponine scoffed. She should've saw this coming.
"And good luck trying to find a new job. You leave here and I'll slander your name so bad, you won't even be able to find work in a donut shop."
The words hit her again making her heart stop beating for a moment. Cautiously, she approached the front glass door and opened it, immediately to see Enjolras' smiling face just as she expected, staring right at her from the driver's seat of his car. That was when she knew, she couldn't do this. Éponine couldn't bring herself to smile back at him. Instead, it was like a bomb just exploded her entire world. She shut her eyes to hold back the tears and sunk to the ground, resting her eyes in her knees and wrapping her arms around herself.
She didn't care that people stared at her as they walked by, or made rude comments at her balled form. But she wanted to close everything out, she wanted to become nothing.
It was that instant, she heard his voice. "Éponine! Éponine!" Gradually it was getting closer to her until she felt two arms rest on her shoulders and she felt a warm breath right by her forehead. "Éponine, God...what happened? Are you okay? What happened?"
She didn't cry - she refused to cry. But she just stayed still, caught in her own trance, letting the world fall away and doing nothing to stop it.
His words seemed so far away, as if she were locked in a glass case. But too soon, the gentle hands were coaxing her up, bringing her to her feet and pulling her body into his chest. "Please, Éponine? Tell me what happened? Are you okay?" He didn't wait for an answer he knew he wouldn't get. "You're okay, you're okay. I've got you." His words enveloped her just as his arms did. But she did not hug him back. She couldn't find it within her heart to hug him back. Knowing the wrong she committed, knowing the betrayal, the hurt - she couldn't do it. And she couldn't take his kindness. He was going to hate her.
But how was she going to tell him? How could she? Did she love him enough to hurt him with this information? Was that even possible?
"C'mon," his voice beckoned, "let's get you home." He guided her across the side walk and in between two parked cars to his car, doubled parked on the busy side street.
She barely registered the flashing yellow of his hazard lights as she dazedly was sat down in the passenger seat.
"Éponine," he whispered, cupping the side of her face, trying to make her dead eyes look at him. But she wouldn't move. Enjolras reached over and attached her seat belt before planting a small kiss on her temple.
He jogged around to the driver's seat, ignoring the honking from a passing car. He shuffled into the car, glancing over at Éponine.
"Éponine?" he tried again. "Are you okay? Please tell me what happened. Did something happen at work? Was work okay? What happened?"
"Yes, it was work. It was stressful," she stated and suddenly, Enjolras let a small smile find his lips.
Quickly, he dropped his smile, not looking to upset her further. He just couldn't help it. He wasn't happy that her job was stressful, but he was happy she was talking. He was happy that she wasn't shutting him out. He was happy that the stress was the worst of her problems. In an instant, he took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as he pulled out into traffic. "It's just stress?" he clarified.
"Yes, just stress."
He let out a sigh of relief. "We knew this job was going to be stressful when you took it, we knew that. But remember, we said you could handle it? We knew you could do it." He glanced over to see Éponine nod her head.
She was intent on listening to his words. If he believed this, then she was doing an okay job at hiding the truth. That meant she wouldn't have to tell him. He wouldn't have to know.
"But we can handle it," he continued. "We will handle it. Together. I'm gonna be here for you, Éponine. I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to do this alone. We'll get through it together."
Then a sob found its way out of her lips. She was trying to hold it back. She was fighting. But his words just opened the floodgates. She didn't mean to. But with everything he was saying, she knew he would take it back in a second when or if he found out.
"Hey, hey, hey..." his velvet voice whispered. He interlocked his fingers with hers, rubbing his thumb soothingly over the back of her hand. "Shh, don't cry. Éponine, come on..."
The car came to a stop at a red light, and immediately Enjolras turned his whole body to face her. He rubbed her hand more fervently.
"C'mon, love. You don't need to cry. I mean every word I say. You won't do this alone. Just, c'mon...listen, a week from now, you'll be laughing about how silly this all is."
Silly? she couldn't help but think. Oh sure, he won't think it's silly when he knows.
"Really?" she choked out, feeling her sobs die down.
"I promise." The way he said it almost had her believing him.
The light turned green and Enjolras glanced back at the road. He stepped on the gas lightly, letting the car roll forward. "Hey," he started, "want to grab something for dinner? You don't really want to cook tonight, do you? And I don't really want to either," he muttered, trying to lighten the mood. "We can stop for something - anything you want. And we'll grab a bottle of wine? Huh, what do you say? We'll make it a good night, something to take your mind off work for a bit."
Éponine didn't know if she could find the words to answer him. She felt a lump forming at the back of her throat. But she nodded and finally hiccuped out, "Yes."
He glanced over to her, a smile reaching up to his eyes. "Great."
…
They made their way back to the apartment, carrying a bag of Greek take-out and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Éponine placed the food on the counter, beginning to separate it and put it on plates while Enjolras took out two glasses. There wasn't much room for exchange and Éponine, for one, wasn't too sad about that. She was worried that the more she talked, the more the guilt would eat her alive. But as Enjolras poured the wine and set the glasses at the table, he hummed to himself, smiling all the while.
She felt herself ease a bit, just listening to him. He always had this way about him, he always knew just how to make her feel better. Oh, she was going to miss this when he found out. Her eyes dropped to her trembling hands as she opened up one styrofoam container of food. The light in the diamond caught her eye, and instinctively, she touched it, running her index finger over the stone and petting it minutely. Her heart sank further the more she stared at it, remembering how not too long ago, that same finger held a gold band, signifying everything her life was. But now, this new ring held a new promise.
How quickly this promise will break, she reminded herself. I can't hide this forever.
It was as if he sensed the discomfort in the air and his arms wrapped around her from behind. He nuzzled his nose into her neck, kissing her tenderly. "Eight more months," he whispered with a light kiss on her cheek. He felt her body tense and her fingers let go of the ring. "What?" he questioned. When she didn't answer, but simply looked down at the counter, Enjolras sighed. "Don't think about it, Éponine. You're home now, work can't bother you at home. Just forget about them all, forget about the work, forget about your boss - " Her body went rigid. He quirked an eyebrow and stared down at her suspiciously. "What?" he asked again, a hint of terseness in his voice.
She shook her head immediately and moved out of his grasp, focusing on setting out the food. "You're right," she started. "I should just forget about it for tonight. I'll…I'll try to forget. I can do that." She waited to see if he was going to pry her for more information. She was preparing exactly what to say next, a good lie, just to cover herself.
"Good," was all he said and he set about helping her put food on the plates.
She caught his warm smile, shocked he didn't press the matter further. Wasn't the curiosity bugging him? Wasn't he dying to know what was really bothering her?
What a strange man, she realized. But no, it wasn't strange. Enjolras had called this something before, he explained it to her once. Oh, what was the word he used? Yes, that was it.
Respect.
…
She awoke with her legs tucked into her chest, hands gripping the corner of the bed that she was precariously balanced on. Every muscle in her body ached - mostly from the stress, she was sure.
"Éponine?" she heard from behind her.
She didn't move and didn't answer, thinking that he may think she was still sleeping or something. She didn't even know what time it was and figuring it was early morning by the light flooding the room, she didn't want to disturb him. Somehow, she guessed she already did. But just like his phantom movements from yesterday, she felt his soft hand on her shoulder, gently tugging her closer to him.
"What are you doing over there?" he whispered. "You're gonna fall off the bed." His gentle movements soon turned stern as he pried her hands from the sheets and tugged her entire body closer to the middle of the bed.
She didn't know if she should protest or not, wondering if she should continue pretending to be asleep. Part of her wanted to wrap herself in Enjolras' loving arms and part of her wanted to stay far, far away from him. "Sorry," she mumbled, giving herself up.
"It's okay," he murmured, wrapping his arms securely around her body and pressing her back to his chest. "I just didn't want you falling off the bed and getting hurt." He breathed out a long breath into her hair. "The alarm is going to ring in a minute." He sighed again, nuzzling in her neck. "I don't want to go to work. Can't we just stay in bed all day?" he teased.
She felt a smile grace her lips, but quickly dropped it. "Oh right…work."
Enjolras held her shoulders and calmly turned her body around to face him. He lifted a finger under her chin to make her look up at him. "You're going to be fine. Remember, I'm only a phone call away if you need anything." He attached his lips to her chastely.
Éponine closed her eyes, feeling the tears start to well again. She hated how kind he was being to her. It was making this more difficult than it had to be. But suddenly, she pressed her lips to his roughly as he began to pull away from her. She didn't want to lose him. She didn't want this to end. She loved him. She wanted to be with him forever.
He sensed this new-found change in her and didn't question it. Enjolras tangled his fingers in her hair while the other hand travelled down the curves of her waist. He pushed her down, not detaching his lips from hers, and climbed above her.
She could almost cry, knowing what was happening. The guilt didn't stop gnawing at her heart. This was betrayal. She couldn't let this continue. She couldn't. She couldn't…
But oh, she could. His weight pressed against her, his hands teasing the skin under her shirt. This felt like heaven.
The alarm clock began to beep and was immediately silenced by Enjolras reaching over to snooze it. To him, it was a disruption that warranted no anger, but simply an event that could be taken care of. Yes, that was what she loved about Enjolras. He never got upset by anything, for if he did, he never let her see. She felt his body growing fervent, aching with desire as his hands caressed all along her at once.
I need to stop this, I need to stop this, she told herself over and over, but yet, she never brought herself to.
In an instant, Enjolras was straddling her, sitting up and throwing the comforter to the end of the bed. He scooted himself down her body, trailing his hands along. They caught in the waist of her pajama pants and his hands continued their journey down the length of her legs. As he sat by her feet, admiring everywhere where his hands had just been, he saw a few dark shadows pooled on her knee caps.
Éponine laid there with her eyes shut, heart beat racing as she kept trying to force herself to stop what was about to happen before it turned into something he regretted.
His brow furrowed and gently, he leaned closer to her legs. "What's this?" he whispered for only himself to hear.
She wasn't aware of his movements until she felt his hands press her knee caps and she flinched. She shot open her eyes to see Enjolras staring right back at her from below. Quickly, he crawled to the bedside table and turned on a small lamp, emitting the room in a yellow glow.
He looked back at her to see her now bringing her knees to her chest. "Éponine," he said in a low voice. She was staring back at him with fear etched into her eyes. "Why are your knees bruised?"
Her stomach dropped. She gaped at him, hugging her arms tightly around her legs. This was it now. There was no more hiding it. She was going to have to tell him. But how was she going to tell him. She wasn't ready to lose him yet. "No, no, no…" she muttered to herself. "I-I…" she choked back a sob, trying to abate the hurt behind her eyes from the oncoming tears.
"Éponine," Enjolras said again, this time in a warning tone. He had realized in this moment that all of this must have had something to do with why she'd been acting so strange. He knew it was more than stress, but he wasn't going to press it further if she didn't want to talk. But now, the situation was turning bizarre. "What happened?"
"I-I…" she stuttered again, at a loss for any other words. The tears rained down her cheeks and she buried her face in her knees, wishing to become invisible.
"You can tell me."
"I can't!" she cried. "I can't tell you…I can't, I can't."
Slowly, she felt the bed shift and he crawled closer to her, placing a comfortable hand on her shoulder. "Why can't you?"
She sucked in a breath, gathering the courage to speak. "Because you will punish me when I tell you."
