Purple

By Sofri

A/n: Written on a prompt from Before the Sun Sets. Crack!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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They were very alike.

They were aloof and cold.

Though one was a leader

and one did what he was told.

Both were fighters

with enemies they'd sworn to destroy

one wanted a heart,

the other, a toy.

And they'd never really met

Each from a different place

The one-winged angel

And the berserk scar-face

So how did they go

From strangers to lovers?

From fighting two separate enemies

To fighting each other (under covers)?

Well it turned out there was

A singular thing

That could take them from indifference

To kisses and rings

It's a simple thing—a color

We all know quite well

Most call it "purple"

And its story I'll tell.

There once were two girls

A nymph so sadistic

And a teenager ninja

With a brain quite simplistic.

Larxene met Yuffie

At the scene of a fight

Both Saïx and Sephiroth

Also present that night.

And while Nymph and Ninja

Were locked in a battle

The young, talkative Yuffie

Soon began to prattle.

"Hey, lady, do you see

That guy with hair so blue?

Well I just got an idea

And I need help from you.

See, I fought him earlier

And he reminds me of a man I know

Sephiroth, that guy over there

With wings above and below.

I thought to myself

They'd make a marvelous pair"

Larxene opened her mouth

To say "Au contraire"

But soon realized

The ninja girl had a point

And decided that Yuffie

As her partner she'd appoint.

So two weeks later

Ninja and Nymph were fast friends

And their plan to set two men up

Was approaching its end

So one day in the darkness

Of that world that never-has-been

The Luna Diviner awoke

To a new shade of skin.

Yes, his skin was bright purple

The brightest he'd ever seen

And he soon knew it was a prank

Courtesy of Larxene.

So he stormed to her room

With a feral growl

And she opened her door

And with laughter did howl.

"Poor-Saixy poo,"

She taunted with an evil grin

And with his teeth

He went for her chin.

Fearing the berserker's wrath

The nymph backed up a bit

And said, "Calm down, VII

I know the remedy for it.

Go to a place called Radiant Garden

We fought there last week

And a magician named Merlin

Is the one you should seek."

So without further ado

Off Saïx teleported

And the other half of this story

Still needs reported.

The angel of one wing

Had awoken early, too

And soon discovered his precious wing

Was an elegant violet hue.

So he ran from his bed

(In the dark where he dwelt)

And soon reached Radiant Garden

An unfortunate ninja to smelt.

But she grinned innocently

And said "There's nothing I can do

You must go to Merlin,

It's the only thing for you."

So he ran to the door

Of the ancient magician

Thinking he'd get his wing fixed

And then call a mortician

(For he planned to kill Yuffie,

Once this all was through

How his plans never came to fruition

I shall now reveal to you)

For just as he entered

The magician's door

He ran straight into Saïx

Both were knocked to the floor.

And when they sat up, rubbing heads

And for the first time locked eyes

Both Angel and Diviner

Met an unexpected surprise.

They felt a connection

Tingling through their spine

And their sense and reason

Quickly began to decline

And soon our two anti-heroes

(Who'd only just met)

Were kissing on the floor

Their surroundings they did forget

And the minute they kissed

The purple they'd both been dyed

Disappeared just like magic

For the pranksters were satisfied.

Ninja and Nymph

Had been successful to the extreme

And brought together a couple

That was any fangirl's dream.

And so ends our tale

Of a unique villain romance

The moral is: don't trust Yuffie

And give purple a chance!