"Cupcake…are you happy?" The cook murmured to the perfectly adorable baby girl in his strong hands.

The baby cooed delightfully in response as she was lifted up in Sanjis' arms above his chest. He lowered her back to slowly while trying to emit the full force of his blinding love through his smile and soulful look in his visible eye.

"Just this? Are you sure I can't do more?" he sighed happily.

Usopp poked Luffy and whispered conspiratorially.

"If she takes after her mom, she'll have him totally wrapped around her finger before she can even talk."

"Nah, I think she already had him before she was even born."

"Ooh!! Good call. Do you think it's because she's a girl or because he's a daddy?"

"OI! Shut it! No one can call me daddy except for my princess! You're lucky I even let you look at her! Go get her some presents or keep yourselves busy till dinner if you want me to fix you anything!"

His princess giggled happily at her daddys' sudden firm and somewhat harsh attitude to her uncles.

"Oh sweetie! You like it when daddy yells at the idiots? No problem! I'll do it every hour if it pleases you! Oh and if any seedy guys come around when you're older, daddy will make sure they stop breathing the same air as his princess…ok?"

She smacked her hands playfully on her fathers chest and he leaned back while placing a protective hand over her back. She didn't notice the cringe of several crew members getting glimpses of their and any prospective suitors' fate.

"You're so perfect! So smart and pretty like your mommy! I'll cook you the greatest feasts when you can have solid food! I'll show you this really cool ocean with every fish ever! You can meet the shi…the old man. We can have so much fun together and I'll protect you forever and ever. Why? Cause I love you. Yes, I do! Daddy loves his perfect little girl! Yes…he…does! Yes… he…does! So make sure you keep smiling that perfect little iddy biddy sweetie cutsy wootsy angelic smile for Daddy okay?"

Sanji nearly passed out as his little girl giggled and placed an uncoordinated kiss on his cheek. He kept consciousness only to gently return the kiss many times over before starting up her praises anew.

Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose as the massive migraine of blond baby-talking annoyance seemed to lodge itself there.

"I swear I'm going to go over there and toss him off the ship if this doesn't stop."

Nami looked up from her paper with a withering look.

"Don't you dare! Do you have any kind of concept how nice it is to have both bundles of affection preoccupied at the same time? I haven't had time to myself for almost a year."

The swordsman headed below deck to shut out the increased frustration. He shot the baby a quick look. She was indeed pretty damn cute, growing up on the weirdest pirate ship, and with the two most obnoxious of the crew as parents…he'd wish the brat well, but luckily she had a devoted green-haired godfather with whom she could commiserate her fate with in her teen years.