How could Jade be treating me like this?
I can understand her wanting to hide our previous… relationship, if it can be called that, from all the students at Hollywood Arts, but the way she is treating me is beyond unfair.
No I can't take one more step towards you
Coz all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I feel like crying every time she shoots me a scornful look. I don't, cry that is, but I want to.
The only thing that runs through my mind is the way she would look at me as I was in the throes of bliss. The way she looked when she was in the same state. It hurts so bad to know what we shared and to know that she knows and to still have her brush me aside.
I've learned to live
Half a life
And now you want me
One more time?
Then she comes to me for help and I think 'Maybe, just maybe she's gonna be her old self again' but no, some god somewhere has it in for me. I help her, then she abandons me, leaving me in a worse state.
I try so hard not to let her see, to pray that she'll come to her senses, even though I believe in nothing I pray to every deity I can think of with the hope that one of them doesn't hate me enough to lift up this curse that is Jade West.
And who do you think you are?
Running round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
"Oh Tori!" Jade sang as she lay, sprawled out on my bed.
"Yes Jade?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm as I turned from my door to the inhabitant of my bed. Jade theatrically clutched the sheets to her naked chest and put on an over-exaggerated sad look on her face.
"You're not going to leave me here all naked and alone now are you?" She asked, pouting at me before grinning. I shook my head in disbelief. She was such a ham.
"Jade, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute." Jade sighed, making a big deal out of the little gust of breath.
"Oh how you torture me with your absences!" I couldn't help but giggle as I moved into my en-suite. Honestly, she was a class act.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
Memories upset me. But I knew that if I lost them, I would be hollow. I would be less than I was now, and I swore that she would not have that effect on me any longer. I was going to become strong!
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
"Oi! Vega!" I don't react, though there is a mantra playing in my head.
Jade is pain. Jade is pain. Jade is pain. Jade is pain. Jade is pain.
It doesn't work. She steps in front of me and all my resolve crumbles. I still love her. Why do I still love her? What is wrong with me?
"Yes Jade?" I ask, masking the pain in my voice, but just barely. By the twitch in her lips, she can tell. She knows what I'm trying to hide, the memories I'm trying to suppress. She can tell I'm failing.
I've learned to live
Half a life
And now you want me
One more time?
"Tori! Tori you in?" I sighed as I heard Trina shouting up the stairs for me.
"Yeah Trina! I'll be down in a sec." I shut off my Ipod and leave it on my bed, before running down the stairs. I freeze, two steps from the bottom as I see someone stood with Trina. Well, there are several people stood with Trina, but one in particular catches my eye. She is beautiful! Dark hair, coloured streaks and a 'I-Don't-Give-A-Shit' look on her face.
"Hey Tori! I brought some friends round and Abby had to bring her sister. She's the same age as you, thought you might like to hang out." I mentally shook myself from my daze and looked at Trina, who was gently pushing the beautiful girl out from the crowd.
"Tori, this is Jade."
Jade. Jade. Jade.
My brain sang it in a glorious song. She seemed too good to be true. She seemed perfect.
And who do you think you are?
Running round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
I felt so empty. I wasn't strong enough to deny her, not strong enough to get rid of this feeling, to move away, throw away the memories and move on.
My strength always deserted me when it came to Jade. She just had that effect on me. But I wish she didn't.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I want it all to end. I don't want her to control me anymore.
I want to be myself. To find love. To re-build my heart.
There is only one problem.
I don't know how. I never knew how. Life was always simple, I could just roll with it and things were easy. Nothing is easy anymore.
Why can't things still be easy?
And it took so long
Just to feel alright
Remember how to put back
The light in my eyes
"Tori." I turned round as Jade said my name. We had become firm friends in the month since that first meeting. Now she was here, sat on the edge of my bed, looking nervous, an expression I was not used to seeing on Jade's face. It worried me. I moved to sit next to her.
"Yeah Jade?" I asked, our knees barely touching. I tried to squash the inappropriate thoughts that this girl always seemed to inspire. It was something she was good at. Inspiring those kind of thoughts and feelings.
"I…"
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Coz you broke all your promises
And now your back you don't get to get me back
"Jade, you know you can tell me anything." Jade nodded and turned her head away from me slightly, so I couldn't meet her eye.
"I like you Tore." I thought I misheard her. Then I was sure I mis-understood her.
"I like you to Jade. We're friends, remember." I heard her sigh. Maybe I hadn't misunderstood.
"No, Tore." She moved so quickly my eyes couldn't track her movements. Without warning I had been pushed down onto the bed and she was hovering above me and approaching rapidly. I swallowed and then her lips were on mine, soft and sweet. She pulled back and bit her lip.
"I like you too."
And who do you think you are?
Running round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
Those weeks were amazing. She promised me forever. She swore to me. I was a fool to believe her.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
"Jade"
"Hmm?"
"Do you love me?"
"Corse Tor."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Can you say it?"
"I love you Tori."
"Good. I love you too."
And who do you think you are?
Running round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
It was getting dark now, I could feel it slipping, sliding. Dripping.
I could hear the drips.
Drip.
Drip.
D…r…i…p
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
"Tori!" Jade?
"Tori! Tori wake up!" I can't. Goodbye.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
High School Student, Victoria Vega, more commonly known as Tori, found dead in bathtub by frantic sister Trina Vega.
She had a name carved into her wrist.
Jade.
SBHNH: Please don't hate me!
R&R Please
