Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or their characters.
Ok, I may get hated for this, I don't care. I love Wemma, don't get me wrong, but I feel like sometimes Emma is a bit submissive...
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and tell me what you think ;)
Thank aggie for being my beta! ^^
Behind Closed Doors
She cleans up the make-up she has been sleeping with and applies a new one. Her cheek is slightly purple from last night. She hates been seen like that, so she hides it from everyone, including him. She doesn't want him to see the signs of his actions, even though they are the reason why she feels unpretty. He may think she isn't worthy enough, and Emma is scared of him being ashamed of walking by her side. She will die if he leaves.
Every single morning of the year, Emma Schuester locks herself in the bathroom and takes a shower. She dries and curls her ginger hair and hides the truth to the rest of the world behind a layer of make-up. Then, she goes out and smiles cheerfully, pretending she is perfect. But she isn't. She isn't because she can feel it on her skin.
Emma loves working at McKinley. After all those years, her job still feels exciting. Kids come now and then, looking for her guidance and advice. She is always so good helping others with their problems but so bad realizing her own.
She would deny it if someone asks, but her lack of self-esteem is running her life. Pretty isn't a word to describe her. Skinny body, small breasts, freckles and a ginger messy hair that take her years to comb. It isn't odd she has been a virgin for so long, who would like to be with a conservative dressed woman? Only Will has caressed the skin under her clothes and further. Only he has adored her as a lady deserves. He is too patient, even when it comes to her OCD.
However, it's still a barrier between them. At times, Emma's obsessions are too much for Will to carry and he loses his temper. She tries her best to be normal, to adapt herself to him and be the wife he expects her to be. Sometimes, she isn't able to, and he would get mad.
Her mental illness is not the only cause of their fightings, but she always feels she is the one doing it wrong. She isn't self-confident.
Her eyes are well-closed while his voice rises. Insults aren't what he tells her but it hurts even worse when he expresses the disappoint and hopeless she causes him. She is aware of the tears burning her eyes but Emma keeps them there. She doesn't cry when he takes her arm fiercely, leaving the mark of his big hands on her; only if he slaps her she will let a couple tears fall down her red cheek. She knows she deserves the pain, the hits and the things he tells her. That's why she never gets mad at him. He is better than her, he has to teach her.
A lot of things would run through her mind by then. Pathetic. Freak. Bitch.
Will climbs in the bed after her, kisses her head whispering an "I love you, baby" and puts his arm around her waist. She doesn't move an inch but she keeps awake. Then, when he falls asleep, she cries. She cries for all the things she isn't and she wants to be.
"I love you too" her voice looses into the darkness.
They go out that evening after school. He wants to celebrate their wedding's anniversary. One year anniversary. There is presents exchange before the romantic dinner at a nice restaurant and a walk under the stars. They kiss in the moonlight and make promises of love and eternity. Will tells her she's beautiful and she blushes and smiles before his lips found hers once again.
They drive home because they can't keep their hands off of each other. He pushes her against the front door to kiss her senseless until it's not enough, so lifts her from the floor and carries her little form to their bed. She loves when they make gentle and tender love. He worships every single inch of her body and she feels womanly and desired, unlike those other times when he is needed and claims her roughly as his at expense of her pleasure. But it's ok for her because she knows he loves her. He always tells her so.
She wakes up first and rushes to the bathroom as usual. Last night was a good one. Emma wishes everyone could be like that. It might come true if she thinks about it hard enough. Maybe, fairy tales aren't just a joke after all. But they are, and this night he will hit her again.
She doesn't forget the feeling of his hand around her neck although next morning, she pretends she does.
"Morning, beautiful" he greets kissing her cheek lovingly. "Had a good sleep?" He cares about her a lot. He has asked for her forgiveness last night after everything that happened. That's what he uses to do. Hit first, apologize then. His arguments are right as always. She should stop worrying so much about timetable. What are they going to do when the baby is born? Babies don't care about time.
"Do you want me to cook some bacon for you?" she offers cheerily after serving herself a cup of coffee. She loves making things for him, making him a happy married man.
"No, Em. I'm fine."
Useless.
"Ok." She can't hide the humiliation in her voice. He doesn't need her. He could leave whatever he wants, or kick her out. He might ask for a divorce. What would happen then? He is the only one who loves her. She would have to spend the rest of her life alone.
No. No, he isn't leaving. Besides, they have been talking about starting a family. Will loves kids and Emma wants a baby too. They are saving money and they didn“t use protection for the first time last night. She may be pregnant right now and not know it. That will make him really happy. He will be a great father and could teach their son a lot. She wants a little boy so badly.
He kisses her cheek when he comes back from work after her. There is a bruise under the make-up and it hurts with the touch but he can't know it. She doesn't complain anyway. It reminds her bad behavior and she learns from it. That's why she is relaxed this evening, forgetting schedules and being spontaneous. She thinks he's making her so much better because he loves her. He tells her so.
And she loves him too; she's so in love with him...
THE END
