A/N: Hello again! I still do not own Glee. Although, if either Chris or Cory were to show up at my door, I wouldn't object. (: Please enjoy. (:
It all hit Finn when he gets home from school the day Rachel tries to apologize to him. 'Both of my girlfriends have cheated on me with my best friend no less. Some friend. Maybe Kurt was right last year; maybe I should just give up girls altogether.'
Kurt boards at Dalton now, so Finn has no one to talk too. He didn't realize it then, but when the whole deal with Quinn happened, he was great to talk too; had great ideas and helped a lot. Sure, he may have had alternative motives... but he was still there to talk to. That's more than he has now. He won't bother Mom or Burt with his problems. He put his head down on the table and dozes off.
Kurt comes home and calls out, seeing if anyone is home. Greeted with silence, he walks into the kitchen to find Finn with his head down on the kitchen table. His brow furrows with worry. "Finn? Are you okay?" He walks up to him and gently puts his hand on Finn's shoulder.
Finn's head comes up slowly. What was Kurt doing here?
"It's Friday Finn. I come home on the weekends. You still didn't answer my question. Are you okay?"
Right. It was Friday. He takes a deep breath, ready to lie, but decides against it. "No. I'm not." His head sinks into his arms again. Why does it always happen to him? Sure, he isn't the brightest bulb in the box, but that doesn't mean that he has no feelings.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kurt asks hesitantly, not wanting to overstep his boundaries. He pulls out a chair and sits next to his step-brother.
Finn takes a deep breath. "It happened again." He looks up at Kurt's blue-green eyes. "Rachel cheated on me with Puck. That's both of my girlfriends! Kurt, what is wrong with me? What have I done wrong? Why does everyone think I don't have feelings? Or don't care?" He fights tears building in his eyes.
Kurt's heart stops for a moment. What a bitch. He rubs Finn's back soothingly. "Nothing. You have done nothing." He pauses for a short moment. Then says softly, "They just don't know what they are missing."
Finn sank his face back into his arms, starting to cry softly. He smiles a little when he feels Kurt lay his head on his shoulder. "I'll be fine..." he says softly. He scolds himself the moment he says it; he could hear his voice crack hearing the tears in his throat. He hates looking like this in front of Kurt.
Kurt's heart is slowly breaking as he watches Finn break down in front of him. He keeps rubbing circles up and down his step-brothers back. He doesn't know what else to do. With Quinn, it was simple. Hurt him a whole lot more, but more simple then this. This was much more complicated. He is so lost in thought, he almost missed Finn's question.
"Does this ever happen to you?" Finn turns his head to the side so he could look at him.
Kurt laughs slightly without humor. "Can't say it has." He shakes his head slightly. "Never had a boyfriend."
Finn's face turns to shock. "What about that Blaine kid? Weren't you guys together?"
"No. We aren't." Kurt smiles slightly, thinking of the Baby it's Cold Outside performance. "Just friends."
"Sorry dude. That sucks. I thought for sure that would change when you transferred."
Kurt just shrugs it off. "It's okay. I don't mind."
Finn gives him a look like he's crazy. "Okay." He shrugs and sits up, sliding back in his chair, putting his face in his hands. He groans. "Girls are so complicated. You have it easy."
Kurt laughs. "Well I guess it just depends on your perspective. Though, some girls are confusing. Don't know how you do it really." He shrugs. "I am sorry though." He moves to get up, he can't stay in this uniform for much longer, but Finn grabs his wrist, stopping him. "What?"
Finn mumbles something along the lines of "not you too." Kurt's face falls. "I'm not leaving. I promise. I have to go change." Finn laughs softly at that, but his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You could come too if you don't want to be alone." He mentally smacks himself.
Finn laughs at the suggestion. "Okay." He moves to get up and Kurt's eyes go wide. He pauses halfway up. "What?" Did he say something wrong? Did he not mean it?
Kurt recovers quickly. "Nothing. Come on then." He makes his way out of the kitchen, and he feels the taller teen wrap his arm around his shoulders and pull him close.
Finn isn't even thinking about what he was doing. It is something he would do with Sam or Puck. Now that he knows Kurt isn't trying to date him, he isn't afraid of the contact. He catches the smaller boy looking up at him. "What?"
Kurt shakes his head. "Nothing. Just happy to be home."
"Okay." Finn smiles. When they reached Kurt's room he stands awkwardly at the door. "Um."
Kurt's voice sounds from the closet. "Yes?" He decides he would change in the closet, just to minimize the awkward that was sure to come.
"Nothing. I'm good." Finns voice is closer than Kurt thought it would be. Kurt turns around and was shocked.
"You don't have to follow me to my closet Finn." Kurt laughs nervously.
"Sorry. Don't want to make you uncomfortable." Finn starts to walk out when Kurt stops him.
"I don't care. It's you I don't want to make uncomfortable." Kurt smiles slightly.
Finn just shrugs. "Doesn't bother me. It's nothing I haven't seen before."
Kurt looks at him for a short moment, but turns around to continue clothes hunting. "Whatever, if you want to leave go ahead. I won't be offended. I'm used to it by now."
Finn shrugs and sits down next to the door. Why was he doing this? He flipped shit last time they had to share anything in the same room. Now, he's voluntarily staying? Jeez. Something was wrong with him. He looks up to say something, but is met with the smooth, but bruised expanse of Kurt's back. Some were in the healing stage of the yellow, while others were still a purple or black. "I thought Dalton had a no bullying policy?" Finn asks confusion in his voice.
Kurt could feel Finn's eyes on his back and doubled his search for his shirt. He had forgotten about the fading bruises that were scattered across his torso. "They do."
Finn stands up, walking slowly over to Kurt. "Then why do you look like you got beat?" He has an insane urge to kiss every bruise, to kiss it better, but he pushes the idea away. He is convinced that would be creepy. Instead, he lightly traces a few of them lightly with his fingertips.
Kurt turns around, smiling ruefully. "I was Finn. That's why I left."
"But, you were never physically beat...? Why do you look like you were like two days ago?" The confusion in his voice was clear. He didn't understand how he can still have such bruises after being away for several weeks.
"I was shoved into lockers daily, often more than once a day. At that, some of them weren't able to heal." says Kurt, sounding like it was perfectly normal to be shoved daily. Kurt shakes his head softly before pulling a shirt over his head, for once not caring about his hair.
"Right. Yeah." Finn hunches his shoulders in defeat. Kurt shouldn't have had to run away to Dalton. He should have stopped it a long time ago. He made his way over to a relatively blank space of wall and sat down, resting against it. "How are they treating you up there?"
Kurt shrugs. "Alright I suppose. It's a different atmosphere then here. It's taking a while to get used to." He changes his pants in-between sentences. He walks into his room, motioning for Finn to come with, and sits on his bed "I miss you guys though. It just isn't the same."
Finn smiles and sits down next to him. "We miss you too."
"So. Did you want to talk about anything specific or just vent?" Kurt asks, looking at Finn.
"Oh. Right. No. Not really. Just don't feel like being alone at the moment." Finn sighs. He closes his eyes, "Why me, Kurt? Why me?"
Kurt looks at the tall boy sadly. "They just don't know what they are missing. You really are a great guy Finn. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Kurt smiles softly.
Finn laughs harshly. "Yeah, well, I'm glad someone can see it. Maybe I should try that then." Finns breathing hitches. He did not just say that. Out loud. To Kurt of all people.
Kurt's eyes widen. Finn? His stepbrother? Thinking he was gay? "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine. Just peachy. Nothing wrong at all." snaps Finn. God! You would think absolutely nothing had happened.
"Finn! I am not the one you are mad at!" Kurt exclaims. Softer he says, "I'm sorry. I wish I could help."
Finn sighs heavily. "Kurt, you can. You always can. You helped with Quinn." He looks over to the blue-green eyed boy helplessly.
"Quinn was... Simple. She was also a bitch to you, but that is beside the point." Kurt sighs. He looks up into Finn's face. "What do you want me to do? I don't know what you want, Finn. You are confusing me."
"Kurt, I don't know what I want. I want people to stop treating me like shit. I want people to see me for me." Finn closes his eyes in frustration. Very quietly he adds, "I want someone like you."
"Nobody says you can't."
Finn opens his eyes and finds himself looking into Kurt's eyes. "I, I thought you were over that. This. Me?" Finn wants to escape Kurt's intense gaze, but he can't tear away from his eyes.
"Finn. Some things never change. I was. I had decided to move on. When you and Carole moved in, my effort multiplied. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Not that it mattered much... But I had moved on. I found Blaine. He helped me along. Became my rock so to say. That being said, Blaine is just a friend. He likes some guy that works at GAP. It doesn't bother me."
"So, what does that have to do with any of me...?"
"I will always be here for you. No matter who turns their back on you, no matter what you do, I will be here for you."
Finn blinks slowly and leans in closer. "You promise? You promise you won't ever leave me?" He realizes he sounds like a two year old, but he really doesn't care.
"Never." responds Kurt, looking right into Finn's eyes.
At this, Finn smiles softly. He leans in and kisses Kurt softly. The smaller boy's eyes widen momentarily in surprise, but he closes them and leans into the kiss. Finn doesn't think about it much, the fact he is kissing his stepbrother. He is kissing the one who cares about him. He slides his tongue across Kurt's lip, and he groans.
Kurt pulls away slightly. Breathing heavy, he asks, "What was that for? Not that I mind." His mind was reeling.
"For not leaving." Finn laughs softly, face flushing pink. "I'm sorry about that... didn't mean to do that. It just...happened." He starts to sit back, but Kurt's hand on his shoulder stopped him.
"Didn't you hear me? I don't mind. I can be all yours." He smiles at the thought.
"Isn't that wrong though?" Finn's eyebrows come together in confusion.
Kurt's face falls. He thought Finn was different. It's no different than last year. He is slowly getting pissed. He decides it would be best to go before he does something rash. "I get it. Okay. I'm sorry. I have to go." He gets up and walks to the stairs but a hand around his wrist stops him from storming up the stairs.
"What did I say to make you mad?" He wraps his arms around Kurt's waist, anchoring him there.
Kurt glares at him. " 'Isn't that wrong?' Jeez Finn. I thought you were better than that. I thought you had changed." He fights to keep his voice down, and halfway succeeded. "I thought you were over the fact that I am gay."
"I am." Finn's eyebrows come closer together, if that was possible, and his mouth turns down. "That doesn't bother me at all. If it did, do you think I would have kissed you?"
"Well you did apologize for it."
"Don't get all bitchy at me. I didn't mean that in that way. I meant the fact we are related."
"Oh." Kurt relaxes, leaning onto Finn's chest. "Well, that would be weird... But it isn't by blood, so technically we are good. If... If you wanted that."
Finn stands there quietly, gently stroking Kurt's back. Did he want that? Is he gay? No. He isn't gay. Guys aren't attractive to him... Except Kurt. He would get everything Kurt got at school. The whole reason why he transferred. Does it matter? Is he worth it? After contemplating that, and remembering the heat that flared up when he kissed him, he decides that Kurt is worth it.
Kurt is standing there hating himself. He shouldn't have pushed. Finn won't be able to talk to him anymore, not to mention look at him. But if that was the case, why does he keep touching me? He can't be too disgusted if he's still able to touch me. He couldn't take the silence anymore. "Finn? I didn't mean to creep you out. I can go. Give you some space. I'm sure you need it right now. I will go meet 'Cedes for coffee or something. Not come back tonight, Daddy would be-"
Finn starts laughing quietly. "Kurt. Take it easy. I'm fine." He kisses the top of his head, laughing into his hair. "Whatever you were worrying about, it doesn't matter. You don't have to leave. I am perfectly fine. The most fine I've been in a while. "
Kurt looks up at him, surprise on his face. "Really? You don't care?"
"Nope. Not at all." He leans in and kisses Kurt again. It was slow and sweet. Kurt brushes his tongue across Finn's lip, and the taller boy moans into Kurt's mouth. Kurt pushes his tongue into the taller boy's mouth. He gently explores the cavern, and Finn fists his hands in Kurt's shirt bringing him closer to him.
Finn pushes him back, laying him gently on the bed and hovering over him, not once breaking the kiss. He settles on top of him, not enough to crush him, but enough to keep him pressed down. Kurt pulls back slightly, needing air, and Finn whines. It doesn't last long because his lips are soon tracing Kurt's jawline. Kurt lets out a low moan and it makes Finn shake to his toes.
"Finn," stammers Kurt. "Stop. You have to stop for a moment." It killed him to say that, but he has to know something.
"What did I do wrong?" asks Finn, his voice low.
"Nothing. I just need to know something." Kurt looks into Finn's eyes and sees nothing but care and kindness. "I want to know if this is real. That I'm not just a trial run for you. I can't do this... With you if it isn't real."
Finn laughs. The idea is absurd. He looks right into Kurt's eyes and places his hand on the side of his face. "Kurt, that idea is absurd. I have hurt you before. I used you for help, knowing you would help me with anything, and then turned away without thinking about it. It was a mistake, and I am sorry. I am not playing with you this time. I refuse to hurt you again." Finn kisses his nose and then whispers passionately, "I mean it."
Kurt's eyes fill with tears. "Thank you," he whispers softly. He wraps his arms around Finn's neck and pulls him down to kiss him. He tries to express everything he felt into the kiss. His fingers run through Finn's short hair, pulling at it slightly.
The tall boy moans and the sensation. "Do that again," he murmurs against Kurt's lips. Kurt complies to his request. Finn runs his hands down Kurt's sides lightly, making the smaller boy shiver underneath him. He reaches the hem of his shirt and slips his fingers underneath it, feeling Kurt's soft skin.
Kurt ran his hands down Finn's back, trying to keep his hips from thrusting up. He didn't want to scare him away now. He tucks his hands under Finn's shirt, feeling him gasp at the skin contact. Kurt brought his hands up his back, trying to memorize every muscle.
Finn starts kissing his way down his jaw and neck. Kurt's head falls back in pleasure, giving Finn more space to kiss. Kurt decides that they aren't close enough yet and tries to pull him closer. Finn starts kissing his collarbone and Kurt moans appreciatively. He starts to gently suck and nip at the sensitive spot.
"Fuck, Finn." groans Kurt, scratching his nails down the expanse of Finn's back. Finn shivers at the sensation. Kurt used that moment to flip them over. In the process, their erections rub together creating an amazing feeling. They both let out a moan. Kurt claims Finn's lips again, but they don't stay there long. They soon start to move down his jaw. He kisses the spot just behind his ear, making Finn's hips jerk up. "You like that, hm?" whispers Kurt, kissing it again.
Finn couldn't help it. The sensation and Kurt's low, raspy voice in his ear make hips jerk up again. "Fuck yes." he moans.
Kurt chuckles softly. He starts to grind down on Finn, a moan and various words bubbling from Finn's mouth. He licks and nips and sucks his way down the older boys neck. Finding the place where his neck meets his shoulder, he bites him gently, not wanting to leave a mark.
Finn starts tugging up on Kurt's shirt, and Kurt complies. It isn't anything new, he saw it earlier even, but it was a new kind of beautiful. He flips them over once more, settling between Kurt's legs. He gives in to the urge he had earlier, and starts to kiss every bruise he saw. He kisses and licks every single one in sight. Without realizing it, he is apologizing for each one. His tears mixing with the sweat forming on Kurt's body. He gently turns him onto his side and fixes his attention to the ones on his back. He smiles when Kurt starts to shake with silent tears beneath his lips. Hearing assorted noises bubbling from his lips, he attacks Kurt's lips once more.
"You are wearing too many clothes," breathes Kurt between kisses. With a nod of Finn's head, Kurt slowly takes off his shirt, never taking his eyes off his face. Finn came back down and kisses Kurt, both moaning at the skin on skin contact.
The sensation is almost too much for Finn, but he manages to keep ahold of himself. He tries what Kurt did earlier, and grinds his hips into Kurt's. Finn lets his head hit Kurt's chest. God, the friction is amazing. You don't get this jacking off. "Kurt," he breathes, "I'm gunna-"
Kurt cuts him off with a kiss. "Me too, Finn." He kisses Finn passionately, arching into him, needing more friction. He watches the boy on top of him slowly start falling apart, and rolls them over once more. He licks at the spot behind his ear, and Finn moans Kurt's name. He is sure he has never heard anything more beautiful. He repeats the process and Finn comes undone underneath him, moaning his name. The sound itself makes Kurt lose it.
Finn feels Kurt collapse on top of him and smiles. It doesn't matter that they both just came in their pants like 12 year olds. They are blissfully happy to be with someone who cares about them. Finn runs his fingers up and down the smaller boys back until he stirs.
"We should probably clean up before Dad and Carole get home." whispers Kurt into Finn's chest.
"Yeah, but that would mean you have to move." Finn wraps his arms around Kurt's waist as to emphasize his point.
Kurt snuggles into his chest, thoroughly enjoying himself. Soon though, he moves to sit up. "Come on, dad will be home soon."
Finn laughs quietly. "Fine, but I have to say something first." He sits up and runs his hand through his hair.
Kurt raises an eyebrow in question. "Yes?"
Finn takes a deep breath, and decides against it. "Thank you."
Kurt keeps his face composed, but is very confused. "Can I ask for what?"
"For being here. Being you." He pauses, not sure if he should say this, but what the hell? What will it hurt? "For helping me decide who I am."
Kurt feels his heart fall. "Oh. Well, then you're welcome. I will, uh, let you go then." He keeps his head high, despite his slowly breaking heart. He makes his way to the bathroom, and locks the door.
Finn hears the lock engage on the door and he knows he said something wrong. "Shit. No, Kurt. That is not what I meant." He is met with the closed, locked door, and hits his head on it. "Kurt, open the door. Please?"
"Go away Finn. I don't want to talk about it right now." Kurt tries to keep the tears from his voice when he says, "I know what I said, and I will stand by it. I just can't-" His voice cracks, and he doesn't finish his sentence. He couldn't believe he lied to him like that. The tears start to dance down his face, and he doesn't make any move to stop them.
The pain in his voice is too much for Finn. "Kurt, dude, really. Unlock the damn door!" He needs to explain himself and hold him in his arms.
"Just go away." Kurt manages to get out sounding semi-normal. "I will talk to you later."
"Fine," sighs Finn. "Do me a favor?" He hears a harsh laugh from the other side of the door. "Don't beat yourself up over this. It will make me feel worse then I already do." Without waiting for a response, he goes up to his own room and cleans himself up. He raids the fridge, and is slightly worried that Kurt hasn't made an appearance yet. He pushes that thought back as Burt walks into the kitchen.
"Hey kid. Where's Kurt at?"
"He is taking a shower? He mentioned something about having to change." Finn hates lying to Burt, but he couldn't tell him the truth.
Burt just shrugs. "He'll be along at some point then."
Kurt is not in the shower, but soaking in a too-hot bath; his tears mixing with the bath salts. Lies. It was all just lies. I was nothing but an experiment, just to see if he could swing the other way. He thinks about calling Blaine, but he is probably out with David and Wes. Shaking his head, he lays his head back against the tile. Shortly thereafter, he falls asleep.
He jumps, hitting his head on the tile, when a harsh knock on the door wakes him up. The moment his head recovers, he jumps out of the cold tub. "Jesus, that was cold." he mutters.
"Kurt, you in there?" calls a voice.
"Yes Dad. I fell asleep, sorry." Kurt rolls his eyes. "I will be out shortly."
"Well dinner is upstairs when you are ready."
He hears the footsteps retreat up the stairs and exits his bathroom. He makes his way to the closet for the second time that day, but doesn't much care. He grabs his pajamas and heads up to dinner.
Dinner is a short, awkward affair for Finn. He couldn't look at Kurt without having an insane urge to wrap him up in his arms. He couldn't eat as much as normal, because his gut was sick with worry. He looked at his plate, and picked at it. He excuses himself, telling them he doesn't feel well.
Kurt follows him with his eyes; worried, but not quite at the point if making sure he is okay. He finishes and leaves, saying he is tired and has homework yet. He collapses on his bed, but shortly gets up to change the sheets. They smell like Finn, how the hell is he supposed to sleep when his bed smells like the boy who hates him? Somehow though, he manages to fall asleep.
Finn holes up in his room and waits for his mom and Burt to go to sleep. It was torture, not knowing what was going on in his step-brother's head. It was killing him slowly from the inside out, he was sure of it. After lying there for what felt like an eternity, he creeps his way down to Kurt's room. He surprised himself with how quiet he was, but didn't move to congratulate himself. When he was down the stairs, he allowed himself to breathe. He looked over to Kurt and finds him sleeping on top of the covers. He walks over to him and kisses him softly on the forehead, not sure how he would react if he woke up to his lips being messed with.
Kurt wakes up to a slight pressure on his forehead, and finds someone large looming over him in his dark room. He immediately pushes the unfamiliar shape away from him. "What the hell?" he exclaims.
"Dude, chill. It is just me. Jesus." says Finn. He picks himself up off the floor.
"Oh. Sorry." Kurt shakes his head. "What are you even doing here? I told you I didn't want to talk to you." He rolls over in his bed and tries to ignore him.
"Yeah, well, I want to talk to you. So let me finish and then I will leave you alone." Finn sits down on the end of the bed shyly.
Kurt sits up and pulls the blankets up around him. "What is it Finn?" he sighs. He looks up at his face and frowns slightly at the sorrowful expression on it. When he gets no response he prompts him again. "Finn?"
"I'm sorry that I gave you the wrong impression Kurt. I do not want you to beat yourself up over it." Finn tries to explain.
"Finn. If you are seriously here to rub it in my face," Kurt sighs, "please, just leave. I don't need it."
"No, no Kurt." says Finn. "I'm not saying this right. Shit, how do I say this right." Finn sits there and thinks for a minute. Finally he decides on how to tell him. He moves so he is much closer to him. Much closer.
"Finn? Really, this is the wrong thing to do if you really regret what we did earlier today." Kurt tries to move away, but is stuck against the headboard.
Finn just laughs softly. "Don't be so stupid." He presses his lips softly against the smaller boy's.
Kurt tenses and pushes him away slightly. "Finn, you are confusing the crap out of me. What the hell?"
"Don't you get it? I don't regret a thing. I keep looking back on it and think about how I want to do it again." Finn whispers.
"Really?" whispers Kurt. He was afraid to get his hopes up, but the hopefulness was tangible in his voice.
"Really." He leans in slightly, hesitating when their lips are millimeters apart. "Are you okay?"
"I am now," smiles Kurt. He closes the distance in-between their lips and smiles against the taller boy's lips.
