Halo
A/N – Before everyone starts, I know that the time lines wouldn't fit with the song and the events from the TV show, but this song has been driving me mad combined with the Boys to provide one of the plot bunnies below, the other being the first dance at their wedding, but that's a whole 'nother story. So humour me and I hope you all enjoy it if not, well at least it is off of my mind ;) Geordie xx
P.S not beta'd and 1st fanfic so be gentle please?
Disclaimer - Don't own Queer as Folk, or the Boys (I wish) and I am definitely not the talented Ms Beyonce, making no profit from this.
Brian looked down at the sleeping blonde lying beside him. 8 months Justin had been in New York, and while he had missed him more deeply than anyone would know, he knew he had to do this for himself and to stop any resentment that could creep into their relationship at a later date.
Justin had flown in the evening before with no warning that he was coming. Brian had been working from the loft, with Justin gone the shine had been taken off clubbing and the tricks were non-existent as why settle for second best. He had been prepared to marry Justin, and as far as he was concerned the wedding had just been postponed not called off.
Brian knew that they needed to talk, finally put everything on the table and work out what they were going to do as the way things were was not working out for either of them. Justin looked exhausted, he was thinner and had frown lines while he was sleeping, not the usual look for his 'sunshine' and not one that Brian ever wanted to see on his face again. He knew that he had sold a couple of paintings, but nothing major, and Justin had told him that his painting didn't have the same feel to it that it had when he was at home in the Pitts, but Lindsey said that he needed to go to New York to become a big fat success with his art and what was a little separation after everything they had been through as a couple.
Brian had been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realise that Justin was awake, and watching him until he felt the familiar touch to his cheek and a mumbled "morning" from the sleepy blonde. Brian turned his head and placed a kiss to his loves palm, "morning Sunshine".
As they continued to gaze at each other, both soaking up the fact that they were both in the same bed, hell both in the same state, the radio alarm came on and the song it was playing made the brunet pause and take note,
"Remember those walls I built,
Well baby their tumbling down,
And they didn't even put up a fight,
They didn't even make a sound"
Brian lent down and placed a soft gentle kiss on the lips of the man who held his heart, "listen Justin, this says it better than I can ever say it"
"I found a way to let you in,
But I never really had a doubt,
Standing in the light of your halo,
I got my Angel now,
Justin, gazing up into the eyes of his love, could feel a tear working its way down his face, how could he have ever doubted that this man, who had done so much for him, had sacrificed so much for him, had ever loved him. It was shown in everything that Brian did for him, and this was a side to Brian that maybe only him and Gus got to see. This wasn't "Brian fucking Kinney", this was the man who had bought a palace for his 'Prince'. This was the man who took in a scared young man and taught him to feel safe again after the bashing. Justin knew that Brian had changed, oh the changes were subtle, and he could still be the biggest asshole on the continent but he was his Brian, and he wouldn't change anything about him.
"its like I've been awakened,
Every rule I had you breakin',
It's the risk that I'm taking,
I ain't ever gonna shut you out"
They both shared a tender smile at this as they thought back to the young 17 year old who got the "stud of Liberty Avenue" to break all of his rules when it came to him.
"Everywhere I'm looking now,
I'm surrounded by your embrace,
Baby I can see your halo,
You know you're my saving grace,
You're everything I need and more,
It's written all over you face,
Baby I can feel your halo,
Pray it won't fade away"
With the last line, both thought back to what they have been through to get to the point they are at now, the bashing, Ethan, Rage the Movie, Cancer, the pink posse, the bombing and finally their current nemesis New York, Justin knew that it wasn't for him, hell he didn't want to go in the first place, but was talked into it by Lindsay and Brian.
"I can feel your halo, I can see your halo,"
While there he had time to think things through, Brian, he knew, only wanted what was best for his Sunshine, and if that meant going to New York to become a successful artist then he was damn well gonna make sure that that is what his Sunshine did. Lindsay, however, he wasn't sure what exactly her motives were, as they left for Toronto shortly after he left for New York, but he really wasn't sure that she had his best interests at heart when she showed the revue to Brian.
"I can feel your halo, I can see your halo."
New York was fabulous, the pace of the city was exciting, but Justin felt that he was lost. His rock, his anchor was back in the Pitts, and he felt that he was just going through the motions while he was there waiting to get back to Brian. Oh he had tried Gallery after Gallery and managed to get a few to take some paintings, and some had even sold, so he knew that he could make it there if he had to, but the price of success was one that he wasn't willing to pay.
He hated being away from Brian, sure they talked all the time on the telephone, the web cam was getting a work out and e-mails were flying back a fourth but he missed the smell, beam, cigarettes and that special thing that was just Brian that made him feel safe, and said 'home'. Sure Brian had been up to visit him every other weekend, work permitting, but the goodbyes were getting harder to deal with. He had come back to tell him that he was coming home and for him to just deal with it. Rising up Justin placed both arms behind Brian's neck and tilted his face up for a deeper kiss. Not one to pass up the opportunity to kiss Justin Brian leant down just as the morning sun came in through the window and hit Justin making his golden hair shine and his skin glow like it was on fire,
"Hit me like a ray of Sun,
Burning through my darkest night,
You're the only one that I want,
Think I'm addicted to your light"
Brian lifted his head up, not that he wanted to stop kissing Justin, hell if he had the next 20 years kissing Justin it would never be enough, but he wanted to see his face for the next bit of the song, "listen Sunshine, just listen"
"Swore I'd never fall again,
But this didn't even feel like falling,
Gravity can't forget,
To pull me back to the ground again,
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule you had me breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't ever gonna shut you out"
Brian looked deep into Justin's eyes, "I love you so much Sunshine that I sometimes can't breathe for the feeling, I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to go back to New York to stay. You could paint here and ship the paintings if any galleries want then, I don't want to be apart from you for so long again. Yes we can meet up every few weeks but it just gets harder to say goodbye when I have to come back to the Pitts. I want you here, with me, as it should be, and we can deal with the rest together."
Justin was speechless, the song, and the words pouring out of Brian were what his every dream was made up of, hell yes he wanted to stay here with Brian, and not have to go back to his dingy apartment "Yes, oh God yes, I didn't want to go in the first place, it was all you and Lindsay, saying that you need to go to make it in the art world. While recognition is nice, I couldn't paint for shit in New York because I wasn't with you, the only times that I painted anything that was even halfway decent was when you had been up for a visit. I want to come home, I want to live in our house in the country with the love of my life, I want it all Brian but only if you are the one beside me?"
"No place else I would want to be Sunshine, no place else," As the radio continued to play unheeded in the background, they began the familiar dance that they have done thousands of time before, and God willing will get to do thousands of times again.
The End
