Author's Note: I don't own Weiss Kreuz. This is Yoji and how he feels about his lost partner, Asuka. Slight spoilers. Enjoy and please review.
Missing: One Heart
By: Lauren
"Asuka…I miss you…" Yoji sighed, running a hand through his wavy golden-brown hair. He brought it down, pulling his glasses off of the bridge of his nose. He tossed them uselessly onto his nearby bed from his spot standing next to the window. Backing up a step, he dropped down so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed, the mattress sinking slightly. He lifted both of his hands up to press his palms against his eyes while he fought the mist of tears that threatened to surface.
Why had he been such a fool?
He had thought that girl…had been…Asuka…
He had wanted her to be Asuka so much…
He had taken her to places Asuka always went, restaurants she loved, because he knew she was Asuka. She had to be. Asuka couldn't really be dead…
No…not his Asuka. He wouldn't have let her die. No matter how many times that night repeated over and over again in his mind, he couldn't believe what it lead to. He couldn't believe that she had died when that fatal bullet had lodged itself into her.
She was his girl. The one he loved.
There had always been girls around waiting for him. There had been tons of them, so many relationships he had gone through, trying to make something out of each of them, but never really succeeding.
But when she was there, he didn't have to worry about any of that or care. She was the one he loved. She was the only one that mattered. She was the One. The only one for him. They had been partners, they had known everything about each other and they still cared for each other. Both looked past the others faults and weird antics, yet they still cared for each other. They had an inseparable bond, something that could never be replaced.
Yoji didn't even realize when he had discovered he loved her so much. There had just always been that bond- that special something between each other. It didn't been to be pointed out or talked about, it just existed and both of them were aware of it. He had always loved her.
Tears erupted from his eyes suddenly, spilling down his cheeks in great rivers of agony, pain and grief while the gray clouds outside burst open and shed raindrops. If he strained his ears hard enough, he could hear the quiet pitter-patter as the droplets of water cascaded down to the earth. From the inside, the rain looked like a sheet of water falling from the gray clouds but if he squinted hard enough through his misty eyes, he could see each separate drop of water. This desolate, featureless rain stirred feelings inside him that he didn't want to think about. He wanted to be out there, to feel the icy water pounding into his body, feeling the caress of nature and forgetting about the melancholy and sorrow that haunted him. He wanted to follow the raindrops into the dirt, into the rivers, never to return, but of course, the rain would never listen. He wanted to be free…free from his troubles and the pain that stabbed into his heart like a blunt knife. His heartbeat was running out of control, these showers feeling especially heavy on him, as if every single drop was forcing him to lower his head, to admit defeat. Yoji could only continue his battle with the rain and with the grief he felt over Asuka.
He loved her smile. Oh how he missed it. That smile was like a golden ray of sunlight breaking through clouds of midnight black. Her face was like that of an angels; her beauty surpassing any woman that ever existed. She was everything and she was his. He missed her laughter that was like music, her nature perfect for someone like him, her silky and fine hair, the joy and life that lit her eyes and that look of love she gave him and only him.
He had been with her for so long.
He had loved her for so long.
And then, she was gone.
It felt as if part of himself had disappeared completely too, and in a way, it had. He had given her his entire heart and when she died, she still took his heart with her wherever she had gone, whether it was heaven or whether she really was that girl whom had tricked him. Even if she was that girl, she wasn't Asuka. Asuka had died that night so long ago and now, he had been left heartless. She held his heart in her hands and she always would. It was something Yoji had willingly gave away and he knew that there would never be anybody else that Asuka could pass his heart onto. She was the only one meant for him.
He would just have to keep moving on in his seemingly endless existence in this twisted world. He would have to keep setting things straight, bringing justice about so that nothing ever happened to anyone else like what had happened to Asuka and him.
Nobody deserved to go through the pain he went through every night that he relived his past in his memories. Nobody deserved to be missing their heart, missing their true love, missing what their life should have been. And Yoji knew he could never go back to the way things were. He could never be the Yoji he had been back then, not without Asuka by his side. And no matter how hard he would try to turn people into her, it could never happen; it was foolish and stupid. She was gone and he would have to accept that, as painful as it would be.
There was only one time that Yoji was truly happy. It happened every single night, for a brief amount of time after he closed his weary eyes and let himself drift off into a dream world. It was then that he could relive his times with Asuka. It was then that he could meet with her again in his dreams. In his dreams, they would work on case after case. They would open up their own, personal private investigation team and building. They would live blissfully, wandering through the city park, laughing as they splashed each other by a water fountains edge, blushing as he held her in his arms, her warmth mingling with his own as he kissed her.
That was when he was happiest. That was when he could be with Asuka. But then…the dream would end and he would have to face reality, he would have to face what his life really was like. Even so though, each night he would pray they would meet again in his dreams and often they would. That was the place they would always have and could always be together, no matter how painful or hard things became.
Yoji then decided that he never regretted anything that had happened with Asuka except for one thing. He regretted that he hadn't been able to protect her. He hadn't been able to save her, he hadn't been able to prevent her end and for this, he blamed himself.
He had lost his one true love and he hadn't been able to do a thing about it.
There was nobody else in the entire world that could ever replace her.
There was no one like the Asuka he had fallen in love with.
There was not a single person that was meant for him besides her and she would always remain as his inside his heart.
There was no one else that could make his heart pound so fast, his breath steal away so quickly, his head spin so much and make him fill with so much joy for life and happiness at the world. She was his bliss, his life, his love, his dreams, his everything, and she was gone.
But he would always have her in his dreams, every single night.
Asuka would live on inside him and inside his actions.
Along side Omi, Ken and Aya, both of them would protect the world from the wrongdoings of people, people like those who had killed Asuka.
They all would make sure no one else ever lost their heart.
They all would protect the people who had someone to love or were loved by someone.
They all would help rebuild Yoji's heart slowly, one by one, piece by piece, even if it would take a lifetime.
As Yoji stood up, wiping his eyes with his shirt, he headed downstairs to begin his work at the flower shop with his three companions. Right then, the rain outside didn't seem so lonely and desolate after all.
