Title: Innocence and Bagels

Genre: Humor/General

Rating: T for shoujo ai

Characters/Pairing(s): Phoenix Wright, Pearl Fay, Maya X Franziska

Summary: Phoenix is disturbed by how much Pearl knew about lesbians. Warning: Maya X Franziska! SHOUJO AI! Please R & R!


"Excuse me? Mr. Wright, sir?" Phoenix looked down from his desk and saw little Pearl Fay staring up at him. The attorney grinned and replied, "What can I help you with, Pearl?" "Did you know that Maya and Franziska are going out?"

Phoenix nearly had a seizure when he heard that. He nervously began to put his files away and stuttered, "W-What gave you t-that idea?" "Well, I was walking by Maya's room a bit ago and I heard her moan Franziska's name…" Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck and thought, 'God, how am I gonna explain this one?'

"Look, Pearl, are you SURE that Maya was moaning-" "-Franziska's name. Yes, I am positive." Phoenix let out a disgruntled sigh and replied, "Tell me everything you heard/saw, Pearl. I need to make a clear image of the situation…"

Pearl nodded and said, "Well, when I heard Maya moan, I decided to open the door a bit and peek in. I saw Franziska with her head between Maya's legs and-" Wright's eyes widened with horror as Pearl continued to recount about how she saw Maya and Franziska have sex.

After what seemed like hours of mind-bending torture, the little medium girl finally finished her account on the scene. Phoenix let out a sigh of relief and replied, "Well, that was…quite interesting, Pearl. Look, how about we go talk to Maya, okay? Come with me." Pearl nodded and followed the attorney down the hall to Maya's room.

Phoenix knocked on the door and asked, "Maya…are you all right in there? Can we come in?" There was no answer. Sighing (I make him sigh a lot, don't I?), Wright pulled out the room keys and unlocked the door.

Wright swung the door open and gasped. Maya and Franziska were KISSING on the bed (but they weren't naked). Wright quickly regained his composure and shouted, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Maya separated from Franziska and said, "Uh…we weren't doing anything…"

Pearl pointed at her cousin accusingly and cried, "Oh my gosh! YOU ARE A LESBIAN!" Suddenly, Maya had an evil, mysterious face. "Actually…" she muttered, "This is all a dream…" Pearl blinked for a few seconds, trying to think it over. Phoenix grabbed Pearl by the shoulders and exclaimed, "PEARL, DON'T FALL FOR IT! SHE'S JUST TRYING TO TRICK YOU!"

Franziska climbed off Maya's bed and said, "Calm down and shut up, Phoenix! You don't need to be so upset that Maya got me first and all…" Phoenix glared at the female attorney and exclaimed, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'I DON'T NEED TO BE UPSET THAT MAYA GOT YOU FIRST'? I NEVER LIKED YOU!"

Franziska patted Wright on the shoulder and walked away. "Man…you really ARE jealous, Mr. Wright!" Pearl exclaimed. Wright glared at her and just grunted in response. For the rest of the day, Maya had a big dreamy grin on her face while Phoenix drowned his sorrows in coffee.

As Pearl watched (from behind the corner) Wright drink his fifteenth cup of coffee, she chuckled to herself and thought, 'Heh heh…I'm not done with you yet, Mr. Wright...' Pearl stepped into the kitchen and asked, "Are you okay, Mr. Wright? You look a little…down."

Phoenix chugged down another cup of coffee and replied, "Why the hell are you asking me? YOU WERE THERE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Pearl sneered and replied, "I know…" Suddenly, Pearl pulled out a videotape out of nowhere and said, "So…do you want to see Maya and April May have sex?"

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"


Life Lesson: Never torment Phoenix Wright with lesbian porn (He's not a homophobe, he's just immature).