I OWN NOTHING - DISCLAIMER

IF Batman Beyond had had a Robin, and if Dick Grayson had had a daughter who knew the truth about her father's past and her partners really parentage.


To be A Hero

Every child wants to be like the heroes they see on TV.

Well Alex didn't want to be like them, with their superpowers and weird origins. She wanted to like her father, she want to fly higher than any man could without machines. She wanted to change the world. She wanted to make her father proud. She wanted to save the prince and live happily ever after.

But these are children's dreams and in the end almost all children grow out of them. Alex didn't.

Sure, she lost most of her childish misconception of being a hero but it was still want she wanted.

So why couldn't her father see that?

Wither Dick Grayson had planned it or not, knew and accepted it or not, he had given his children the perfect childhood to grow up to be heroes. All the storied he told (carefully edited so as to not scar them and insure that good guys always won) were an inspiration them. To her.

After her years as 'Nix, Alex lost a lot of her prejudice and beliefs. Fairy tale became reality.

She stopped going to church.

She stopped thinking about what would happen when she died.

She started living for the day.

She thought only of the present and immediate future.

She pushed herself through rigorous ruthless routines, changed her body to mask her changing mind.

No one would recognise her from the girl she had been only a few years before. Her family wouldn't recognise her anymore. Her father didn't.

She wasn't Alex anymore. Grayson was dead.

She learned what was needed to be the hero is her dreams. To be the hero her father once was.

So she killed Alejandra. And was reborn through pain, and misery, and anguish as Robin. To live through those she had lost. To prevent her pain from becoming someone else, or so her told herself. In truth she knew she needed this life like a drug to get through the day.

Alex never regretted it. What it had taken to get her there, to be what she now was, was something she would always regret. But becoming a hero wasn't. She couldn't. It was too late for regrets now.

She loved her daughter, she loved her daughter's father. But as Alex and not Robin. She could never let go of being Robin. She could never have the happy family and suburban life. It took her a month into her marriage to realise that. Then she called her lawyers and got a divorce, gave birth and signed away all her custody rights. She moved back home and Robin got more vicious.

In many ways she was still fighting for the childish dream of be a hero. In many ways she wasn't.

In her dreams heroes never lost. In reality heroes never really win.

She learned that the first time she watched someone die in her arms. The villain was brought down and brought to justice but Alex knew she hadn't won. A woman was dead and no amount of years could give her justice. No amount of years was going to bring that mother back. Sometimes the villains weren't the ones committing the crimes. Her sister's death taught her that.

Alex would spend the rest of her life firmly believing that if she hadn't been 'nix then her sister would still be alive and the world would be two heroes shorter. She felt the guilt every day she ruthlessly trained her sister's best friend, her own cousin and 'uncle' respectfully – she felt that guilt every night they woke up screaming from nightmares involving blood and death.

She knew she was never going to save that Prince charming. She was his partner and he didn't love her like that. She never let go though.

Not when he first got married.

Not when his first kids were born.

Not when he got divorced and his ex-wife was murdered.

Not when he turned to Max for comfort instead of her.

Not when he married her and had another child.

She never gave up on him because he was her partner. She stopped seeing him as her Prince a long time ago though, he was a knight more than a Prince. She didn't think he'd ever forgive Diana for adding that on to his name. But she never stopped hoping and she never stopped saving.

Even when she took a bullet for him.

Even when she felt his arms wrap around her cooling body or when she heard him beg her to stay. Even when she realised that this was her happy ever after, dying in a underground warehouse, with no one to morn her when she was gone but a city full of people who barely noticed she existed in either lives and a glass case in an desolate cave.

She regretted losing her father.

She regretted never saying goodbye to her mother and sister.

She regretted losing touch with her civilian brother.

She regretted leaving her husband, the man she knew truly loved her, for night times of thrills and fantasy.

She regretted the fact her daughter hated her for never being there.

She regretted the fact that she had nothing to leave her friend but an empty story no one would to tell.

She regretted that she throw her happy ending away for 'a little bit longer.'

For the first and last time in her life she regretted and despised being a hero...

...and then she died.


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