Hi BTR fans!
This is my first story for BTR, so when reviewing and giving feedback, please be kind! Let me know if you like this coz I plan on writing a few more Kogan (Kendall/Logan) chapters and stories in the future ;)

And for those who follow my Troop story 'There You Go Again', I have a little update on my profile about it. So if you're interested in that, please go check that out.

Happy reading!
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Big Time Rush. If I did, I'd be married to one of them by now…Don't own the original picture used for this story either. I only editted it. The original picture I found was on: freepostermaker pk7jtuytjk / KENDALL-AND-LOGAN [with no spaces]


CHAPTER ONE: Count On You

Friday had always been Logan's library day. At precisely a quarter to four in the afternoon, Logan would sling his black backpack over one of his broad shoulders and stroll down to the Palmwoods Library just outside of the apartment block to indulge in some medical study and astronomical literature. Then he'd pick up two large pepperoni pizzas and head back home to 2J, where the Big Time Rush gang would sit back and relax with food and a couple of beers.

But today, he was late. There was no doubt that Logan was incredibly dedicated to his tertiary studies in pursuit of becoming a doctor and his passion for all things outer space, and in any normal circumstances, even on his birthday, he'd make sure he fulfilled his weekly dose of the musty atmosphere that a thousand books held in a dimly-lit room, but the muffled whisper and frustrated sighs that came from the room next door – James and Carlos' room, held him and his ever-so-curious ears back with a metaphorical iron grip.

"Have you eaten way too many corn dogs recently Carlos? Because I really feel like that gas has damaged your brain,"

"Hey!" Carlos yelped. "That's not very nice. You can say goodbye to sharing corn dogs next time I have one!"

"Don't worry Carlos. Kendall doesn't actually think that," James reassured. "Someone's just angry that they love someone they can't have,"

There was a loud smack, probably from Kendall to James, and Logan barely stifled a chuckle at the insanity that was his friends. But these amusing thoughts soon disintegrated and evolved back into curiosity.

"The fuck are you talking about Diamond?" Kendall snapped, "I don't love, let alone like, anybody right now; especially after Jo,"

Ah Jo: Kendall's only serious girlfriend. He had dated several other girls in the last ten years but none of them were quite like Jo. She had honey blonde hair and dark, round eyes – ones you could just stare at for days. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that she was pretty, and even more fitting that Kendall fell for Jo and she fell for him. They were often referred to as the 'Golden Couple' during high school and last several years after that. It was like they glowed around each other, as if they fed off each other's happiness.

They were perfect, until, you know, they broke up.

"Please," Carlos remarked sarcastically, "I've seen you look a certain way at a certain friend of ours,"

"Yes," James mocked, "A certain devilishly handsome friend of ours,"

The first thing that entered Logan's mind was: did Kendall have a crush on James?!

"I don't have a crush on you, James," Kendall snorted. "A little egotistical are we?"

"A guy can dream,"

Logan swallowed his urge to laugh, knowing that if he did, he would give away his location. And although all of him knew that what he was doing – spying on his best friends was definitely not in the 'bro code', he figured the library would survive for a few more minutes without him.

"Okay, so I wasn't talking about James," Carlos interjected.

There was a small moment of silence and Logan's heart stopped when he thought he had been caught eavesdropping. But Carlos continued and Logan could breathe again. "But I'm glad you suggested that you do have a crush on someone!"

"Even if I did have a crush on someone, which I'm not saying I do," Kendall muttered. Logan could imagine him crossing his arms as he said this, arching a thick eyebrow for emphasis on the next words he was about to say; like it was a vow. "This someone wouldn't like me back. This someone wouldn't want me. This someone is too good for me,"

Logan gulped at the tremble in Kendall's voice. He tiptoed away from the bedroom door and grabbed his backpack before leaving the apartment without the slam of a door. Usually, his mind would bubble with endless ideas on the content and number of books he would enlighten himself with today, but today, all he could think was: who was this magical being to have captured Kendall Knight's heart?


"How was the library, Logan?" James grinned, as Logan hung his scarf around a chair.

"Not good, I'm guessing," Carlos piped in, "You're back earlier than usual,"

Logan shook his head slightly and raised his head to meet his friends' friendly gazes. He nodded quietly; not sure if it was to notify them that he was, in fact, paying attention, or to help the overwhelming desire to know of the identity of Kendall's mystery girl disappear from his head before it drove him insane.

"Logan, where's the pizza?" Carlos asked, "I'm starving,"

"Yeah, pizza would go great with the action flick marathon on Channel 12 tonight," James said, grabbing a few cold cans of beer from the fridge.

"Shit," Logan murmured. Curse his stupidity and the ability Kendall and his stupid love life had on his memory. "I forgot guys, I'm so sorry,"

"Hey it's fine. Don't beat yourself up about it Logie bear," James teased. "We can just order some in,"

"It'll just cost more," a familiar voice mumbled, entering the kitchen in his trademark beanie and baggy sweats.

Logan's cheeks involuntarily flush with embarrassment.

"It's fine though," Carlos gritted through his teeth, "Right, Kendall?"

Crystal green eyes darted around the room and briefly – for a sliver of a second – made contact with Logan's, before agreeing, rather reluctantly, to Carlos.

"How did you forget though, Logan?" Kendall enquired; his thick eyebrows knit together. Logan had a soft spot for those eyebrows of his – though he would've never admitted that to anyone else. Every time the blond raised one, or scrunched them, or anything, really, Logan couldn't help but feel light-headed.

Which was definitely weird because Kendall was his friend. His best friend.

"Distracted, I guess," Logan waved off. He took a second to realise Kendall's crankiness to him for forgetting to bring home pizza, considering it was one of his favourite foods, and a small twinge of guilt made him throw Kendall's words back at him. "It's hard to get a certain someone out of my mind, you know?"

Carlos choked on his soda in reply, spraying bits of the drink everywhere into the air, and Logan could barely contain a giggle. James, being the supportive friend he was, rushed to his friend's side and helped him into the bathroom to clean his now-damp shirt. When the shorter of them stripped of his top, James scurried off to their shared room and took out a grey V-neck for Carlos to change into. He had to try to hide his blush when Carlos thanked him for being so helpful.

Kendall, on the other hand, just stared incredulously at Logan, paling at what he was suggesting.

Shit. Does he like me?

Or worse – does he know that I like him?

"I was just kidding, guys!" Logan managed through a fit of laughter, "I don't like anyone right now. Not even Camille,"

Kendall couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Sure, he was glad that Logan was still as clueless as ever, having absolutely no idea on the hockey player's feelings for the resident genius, but there was also a surge of disappointment that Logan didn't feel the same way as he did. Kendall was already very aware that there was an almost non-existent chance that Logan would like him, and maybe even be in love with him, but a small, yet stubborn part of him couldn't help but hope that one day, his affections would be reciprocated.

"Anyway…" James said, clearing his throat, to break the awkward silence that had engulfed the four. "I'll order the food and you guys can start the movies,"

"Why?" Logan blurted aloud. "You never like to order over the phone!"

Carlos appeared out of the doorway in a clean shirt, as James grunted in disbelief.

"Since when?"

"Uh, dude…since ever. You always mention how it makes your voice sound all weird," Logan retaliated, rolling his eyes. "So what's up?"

"What?" James exclaimed in an usually high-pitched voice. "I can't do something nice for my friends?"

"James…" Kendall deadpanned, as he and Carlos made their way beside Logan. Then, they crossed their arms over their chests at the same time, staring at James in a sort-of-smug manner, as if they knew everything, in an attempt to wear James down.

"Fine! I lost my lucky comb there last time I went there and I just want to see if they have it," James confessed. "Happy now?"

"Delighted," Logan smirked, and Kendall and Carlos couldn't help chuckle a little too.


Kendall Knight wasn't sure how the living room got so messy or why everyone was passed out, but he knew for sure that he didn't want to clean this apartment up before he had to be at the rink at seven. So when the movie marathon was finally over, he switched the television off and grabbed the empty beer cans that seemed to be in every corner and crevice in the vicinities, chucking them into large plastic bags so he could make one of the guys take out the following morning. Then he hit the empty pizza boxes and stacked them near the doorway, tossing the occasional pillow from the ground and back onto their sofa set.

Carlos was the shortest of the group, and probably, the lightest, so Kendall hauled his sorry ass over his shoulder. It wasn't too difficult, but the boy definitely had some muscle on him so he was heavier than expected. With a few bumps into coffee tables and a nudge in the shin, which really did kind of hurt, but it was alright when the load was off and on his bed.

James was a much more difficult person to move. Kendall was already relatively tall so the fact that James was a few inches taller than him made it basically impossible for Kendall to move him. Instead, he took a blanket from the cupboard and placed it over James' sleeping form.

Kendall inhaled sharply when he realized who was left. Just stay calm Knight. You can do this. You're only going to be holding Logan, your best friend, for like two seconds before you let him down in your room.

Somehow, his internal pep talk had failed him as Kendall reached out with hesitant, jittery hands to scoop Logan up from the floor. Bending his knees, he lifted Logan up, bridal style, rather effortlessly, as if he was made to carry him.

Kendall groaned. That had sounded so lame – and so gay.

Kendall wasn't gay; he was sure of it. He had dated way too many girls to have swung for the other team. He liked the curves of a woman's body and they're sweet, sometimes-high-pitched voices. He liked holding them close and he liked hearing them laugh. But whenever he closed his eyes and tried to picture his future – one with a wife and kids and a big white house by the lake, his vision was blurred with tousled black hair and chocolate-brown eyes he had refused to melt into.

Slowly making his way to their bedroom, Kendall managed to avoid the hazardous cushions and hockey sticks and Logan's damned backpack that always made him look ridiculously attractive when he wore it over one of his muscular shoulders, so he could slip Logan underneath the covers. As he did, Logan stirred. Kendall shushed him reassuring, patted his head animatedly, before his best friend sighed contently, rolled onto his side, and returned to his slumber.

He was so fucking beautiful.

Too bad he has no idea.

No idea about anything.

If this was any other day, and Kendall was completely sober, he would reluctantly rip his gaze away from Logan and collapse into bed. But he was feeling just the teeniest bit buzzed since he did have some beer to drink. So instead of hitting the sheets straight away, like he should be doing, his eyes lingered at Logan's chiseled jaw, his dark, long eyelashes and his soft-looking lips just for a few seconds, before slamming his head against the palm of his hand and throwing himself into another sleepless night.


Drums.

He could hear them, pounding tirelessly in his head. Through the slits of his eyes, he was overwhelmed by the sunshine that seeped its way through the gaps in the blinds.

When did the world get so bright?

Boom. Boom. Boom.

What was that fucking noise?

The beat entwined with his racing pulse, as he slowly arose from his bed; eyes shut and face contorted with an undeniable sharp pain in the brunet's head. He collapsed back into bed and rolled onto one side, groaning slightly as he did. He so desperately wanted sleep to conquer him again but his mind was attempting to piece back together what exactly had happened last night.

Lucky comb. Movies. Beer.

In the living room, not his bedroom.

"I think we should call Kendall," a voice suggested, a little too loudly.

"Kendall's having some 'me, myself and hockey' time," someone else informed. "I really doubt he has his phone with him on the rink,"

Logan's eyebrows furrowed as something that felt like dissatisfaction on Kendall's lack of presence flooded his veins.

"But it's almost midday and Logan still isn't awake yet,"

And then the identities of these voices clicked.

"Carlos? James?" Logan croaked. His mouth was dry.

Really dry.

The two boys' gaze, although bloodshot, diverted immediately to their friend in need.

"I am so so so glad you're awake!" Carlos squealed, abruptly wrapping his arms around Logan's warm body. "Another hour without a word and I would've pronounced you dead,"

"Gee, thanks," Logan remarked sarcastically. There was an itch in his throat and what began as a feeble cough to get rid of it abruptly turned into a violent seizure of spluttering ones.

Carlos tended to panic in situations like this, as he jumped up and began to pace around the room like a madman, mumbling things like Oh my god, what if he dies? How are we going to tell Kendall?! However, James Diamond kept a cool head and rolled his eyes at the Latino boy, before his arm shot out to the bedside table.

"I think Kendall left this for you," James said, handing over a class of water to Logan. Then, James gestured Carlos to help Logan up so that he was sitting almost upright in the bed. "Take the aspirin too,"

"Thanks," Logan mumbled.

"How's the hangover?" James said; his facial expression serious. "It must be pretty bad for you to sleep in till noon. Carlos over here was just about to have an asthma attack or something,"

"Was not!" Carlos pouted, playfully punching James in the arm.

"I'm alright, just a little hungry. I didn't actually drink that much to have the worst hangover. This is like…a manageable level of hangover, you know?" Logan smiled genuinely, as the worried boys mirrored his elated expression. "Thanks for your concern, though,"

"No problem," they both replied, getting ready to leave the room so Logan could rest a little bit more.

Though before they did, Logan interrupted them.

"But I'm never drinking again," Logan warned, as his stomach grumbled and shattered the serious ambience he was trying to create, "Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with you guys,"

It sounded like he was ungrateful, but James and Carlos grinned knowingly at each other. They knew he secretly appreciated their efforts and he was flattered by how much they cared about them. Additionally and more importantly, they realised that the real reason for his sour mood wasn't just due to his skull-splitting headache, but also because of the absence of the one and only blond-hockey-player-turned-singer.

"…So who wants corn dogs for breakfast?"


An hour later, James and Carlos were sick of Logan's inability to leave his bed so they decided to go out for corn dogs. They had technically eaten breakfast already; since they were much more accustomed to dealing with hangovers than Hortense, but Carlos was incessantly begging James to take him and the taller boy seriously couldn't resist him and his stupid puppy dog eyes.

"I hate you sometimes," James complained, grabbing his scarf from the rack, "I hope you're bringing your own wallet this time!"

"But James!" Carlos exclaimed, as if he were ten. "You always pay!"

"Well, I'm broke," he shrugged. "Spent all my money on Hair Care weekly,"

"That's stupid!" Carlos protested. "Why would you think I have money then? You know I spent all my money on that Helmet Heaven magazine!"

"Meaning you only had like three dollars in your wallet to start with?!"

And that was the last Logan heard of the two.

Apartment 2J fell into a deep silence and Logan smiled to himself. His friends were such idiots sometimes. Caring idiots – but idiots nevertheless. He wanted to snicker and ponder on how lucky, yet at the same time unlucky he was to have such friends but before he could, his eyelids fluttered shut and he pressed his palms together, fitting them under his head as he turned onto his side.

But then the door swung open again.

"Just buy Carlos those stupid corndogs he loves so much, James!" Logan snapped irritably; not bothering to open his eyes. It was a surprise to him that he yelled during a time where he wanted nothing more than to sleep – and an even bigger surprise when he realised that what he had done didn't even make his head throb.

Well, too much.

"James just borrowed a twenty for me so he's taking Carlos out now," Kendall replied, amusement laced throughout his voice, making Logan's chest swell.

Damn Kendall's voice.

"It's like one o'clock, Kendall and you've been at the rink since seven," Logan said dryly. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, you know, the usual, hanging out with Lucy," he brushed off. "Getting back together with Jo…"

Logan wasn't expecting that.

"What?" Logan uttered throatily. "Why?"

It was a simple and pure question. There was no venom, no malice in Logan's voice. If his eyes were opened, they would be pleading, boring into Kendall's very soul, as if urging him to reconsider.

But they weren't.

Logan always knew Kendall would chose Jo to be with when it came down to the Lucy versus Jo showdown and they both knew that was the right decision – he had so much history and chemistry and whatnot with Jo that it would've been foolish to throw away for some brief encounter with an aspiring rock-star.

And then it hit him.

Was Jo the one Kendall thought was too good for him?

"We were just talking," Kendall brushed off. It bothered Logan that Kendall hadn't gone into more detail but he was too tired and thirsty to argue. "And I just realised Jo was the one if I had to choose between the two,"

Logan simply nodded, attempting to ignore the fact that the volume of Kendall's voice was increasing, so he could tell he was getting closer.

"Do you feel any better, Logan?" Kendall asked, "You were completely out cold when I carried you yesterday,"

There was such sincerity in Kendall's soft voice that it made the corners of Logan's mouth twitch. He was pretty fortunate to have a best friend like Kendall Knight in his life.

"Wait, what?" Logan shouted, needing clarification immediately. "You carried me?"

"Well, yeah," Kendall chuckled, "How else do you think you ended up in your own bed?"

Logan's face heated up as he felt Kendall's gaze over him. He opened his eyes and wasn't blinded by the intense light but rather, a different form of intense light.

Intense green eyes.

"Thank you," Logan murmured, his eyes softening as he stared at his best friend.

"James and Carlos said you looked and felt like shit this morning," Kendall said, almost as if he was in a daze. He rubbed his thumb affectionately against Logan's cheekbone, making the blond's heartbeat irregular. All he hoped right then was that his best friend couldn't hear the pulse that pounded in his ears.

"I feel gross," Logan whined, shrugging off Kendall's touch, which caused him to feel the teeniest bit of rejection, "But I'll live,"

Kendall smiled at the shorter boy. Logan Mitchell was already as adorable as people came, but seeing him, wrapped up in blankets, with his hair sticking in odd directions, was almost an overload of cuteness.

Even with a hangover.

"Are you still mad at me for forgetting the pizza?"

Kendall froze at the quiet vulnerability in Logan's usually-warm voice. It kind of tugged at the edges of his heart to know that he might have caused that.

Without thinking, Kendall bent over and feathered a chaste kiss on Logan's forehead, before the tips of his ears transformed to a bright scarlet colour.

Kendall was most definitely not mad at him.

Well at least not now, anyway.

And as Kendall scurried out of the room, Logan, even in his bedridden state, kind of felt like doing somersaults.


So…what do you guys think? I'd really appreciate some feedback via a review. Let me know if I should continue this story – it's an idea that's been engraved in my head for quite some time now!

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(P.S I have done a proof-read but I'm human so don't kill me if there are mistakes.)