Reyes Vidal found himself jolted awake with his eyes quickly snapping open and his lungs gasping for breath. He unknowingly clutched the blanket enveloping him against his bare chest with one hand as a sheen of sweat covered his skin.
What the hell?! he suddenly thought as he attempted to catch his breath. Shaking off the haze of sleep, he managed to remember where he was; lying in the middle of his own bed inside his small studio apartment at Kadara Port. His amber eyes shifted to get a better look at his home and let out a long exhale once he saw that he was alone.
Reyes tried to recall what shook him awake. A nightmare maybe? Perhaps that falling feeling that was felt in the realm between asleep and awake? Either of those were a possbility, but for some reason he couldn't remember if either one occurred within the last minute or so.
Strange...
Rubbing his tired eyes with his hands, Reyes sat up from bed, his blanket pooling around his waist. He then turned on his omni-tool to check the time and saw that it was still in the middle of Kadara's night cycle. Also, he had only been in and out of sleep for two hours since he decided to try to get some rest.
With his omni-tool's interface opened, he saw that he received a few new messages since he laid down. He took a moment to check the senders. Most were from his Collective agents who were giving him their usual daily reports. A few were from clients that were part of his front as a smuggler. None were from her.
Reyes frowned a little as he brought up the last message Pathfinder Kira Ryder sent him. He received it three days ago and he wasn't able to read it until hours later as he was stuck at a meeting with a stubborn krogan client through most of the afternoon at Kralla's Song...
To: Reyes Vidal
From: Kira Ryder
Hey,
I wanted to give you a heads-up that we're going to be heading into the Tafeno System soon to check on the information Vehn Terev gave us. I was hoping to stop by before we headed there, but with everything else going on, it's starting to look like a 'now or never' situation. When we're done, just give me an excuse to come back to Kadara. I could use the break.
Reyes combed his fingers through his black hair as what felt like a million thoughts ran through his head. He knew from previous conversations with Kira that Vehn's information involved the location of the Archon's ship. Inside the ship was supposed to be a map to a potential new home – Meridian, it was called. This was all according to the datapad Vehn had hidden in Kadara's badlands. Kira's engineer spent the last few weeks trying to extract information from the datapad due to the condition it was found in. Clearly the job was done just prior to her last message.
Had it only been weeks since Reyes helped Kira get access to Vehn's prison cell at the (now former) Outcast Headquarters? After all, the whole business with the angaran was how they met in the first place. Initially, he had started off seeing her as someone who could help him undermine Sloane Kelly and the Outcast.
It still blew his mind that he went from seeing her as someone who could help him with his plans to falling in love with her... all before she knew he was the Charlatan.
Kira left Kadara three weeks ago after spending two weeks overseeing the set-up of the new Andromeda Initiative Outpost, Ditaeon. Reyes made the most of his time with her in between their respective work. Of course, those times were spent either here in his apartment, a quiet corner at Kralla's, or in his room at Tartarus. A couple of times, he took her to the port's market district so she could buy some equipment for her crew.
There was also something about waking up next to her in his bed that left an aching need in his chest every time he saw her. A couple of times, he thought of what it would be like if she remained here with him, but he quickly reminded himself that even if she could stay, their relationship was still new. He knew she cared very much for him with the way she kissed and held him close to her ever since the first time they had sex. For all he knew however, her feelings for him didn't go as deep as his did for her, at least right now. He was lucky enough to still even have her heart at all after she found out he was the Collective's leader. That day, he had expected her to walk away and, despite knowing it would shatter his heart, he would've understood her decision.
Another new thing – at least for Reyes – was that once in a while, he caught himself wondering if Kira was okay. Reyes knew that the Pathfinder could take care of herself and she had a crew who cared very much about her well-being (if their various threats of filleting him alive, so to speak, if he ever hurt her was anything to go by). But again, the feeling was new to him. Perhaps this was why he was having trouble sleeping. At least it was easy to drown it out after a couple of shots of whiskey.
Getting up from bed, Reyes sauntered over to the small kitchenette and opened the fridge to grab for the Everlast Whiskey bottle. It was not his preferred choice, but it would do for now. Forgoing a glass, Reyes twisted the cap off and drank from the bottle, the liquor burning past his throat and warming his belly. Placing it on the counter for a moment after a few sips, Reyes brought up the message he responded with to Kira's. He saw that it was marked as read, but he figured that she wasn't going to have the chance to reply back for a while.
He read the words he wrote to her...
To: Kira Ryder
From: Reyes Vidal
I'm sure I'll come up with a good reason for you to visit here by the time you finish with your mission in Tafeno. Don't worry, I won't stir up too much trouble in the meantime. ;)
Be careful. I know you can't really promise that, but I figured that it wouldn't hurt to say it.
Upon re-reading his message, Reyes suddenly realized that there was one other thing he wanted to ask. It was the only thought that compelled him to write another email to her now despite a part of him screaming that it wasn't necessary. He wrote it anyway...
To: Kira Ryder
From: Reyes Vidal
Message me when you're done with what you need to do in the Tafeno system.
Reyes didn't hesitate to press 'send.' Except now he was wondering if the message made him seem a bit clingy. He quickly drank some more whiskey... that helped to drown out that particular thought.
Deciding then to try to get more shut eye, Reyes headed back to his bed, taking the bottle with him and placing it on the nightstand. The few sips he did drink eventually helped with lulling him back to sleep.
Two very long days past afterward. Reyes was just getting word on the arrival of Ark Paarchero in the Nexus – which was found in Tafeno by the Tempest team – as well as the death of the salarian Pathfinder, Zevin Raeka, when Kira finally sent word.
To: Reyes Vidal
From: Kira Ryder
I'm okay. I'll be in Kadara in six days. No need to think of an excuse.
Reyes, though happy and relieved to hear from her, found himself furrowing his eyebrows. Even when she was busy, Kira wasn't usually short and to the point with her messages. He did ponder over whether she was upset about the loss of Raeka.
Speaking of the death of a Pathfinder, it wasn't lost on Reyes that all of the original Pathfinders were now gone, including Kira's father Alec Ryder.
Reyes messaged her back...
To: Kira Ryder
From: Reyes Vidal
Thanks for getting back to me. Glad you're okay. Shame... I was planning on coming up with an excuse today to get you here. ;) Guess that leaves me with a little more time on my hands.
I heard about Ark Paarchero and their Pathfinder. I don't know all the details, but know that I'll listen if you need to talk about it.
For the next six days, Reyes kept himself busy between his Collective work, keeping Ditaeon protected, and arranging procurement shipments for his smuggling business. He would also spend time at the market browsing around, but he was really listening in for 'word on the street.' It was his own way to find out anything involving what was left of the Outcast. As of now, most have scattered to either the badlands or off-planet, particularly to Elaaden.
On one such outing, Reyes spotted something in the market that reminded him of Kira; a silver chained necklace with a silver pair of angel wings and a sapphire-colored gem in between with all the materials made with angaran resources according to the shopkeeper. Reyes couldn't recall if Kira even wore jewelry, but he could already picture her wearing it around her neck with the pendant resting below her collarbone. The gem would match her eyes and the wings would surely remind her of how he would sometimes call her 'angel,' a nickname she had yet to protest over.
For once, he didn't bother to haggle with the shopkeeper and purchased the necklace at the given price.
Six days after Kira's last message, the Tempest landed at Kadara Port. Though he wasn't sure if she would head straight to Tartarus, Reyes at least took a moment to prepare his private room with two glasses and a bottle with what was left of the Mount Milgrom he stole from Sloane's reserves at the party he and Kira attended.
It was two hours later when Reyes received a message from Tartarus's owner, Kian, informing him of the Pathfinder's arrival. He briefly thanked him before closing his omni-tool, feeling a thrill at the thought of her return. A month wasn't really that long of a time since she was last here, but it did seem so to him.
Just as he was smoothing his hair out with his hands, the door to his room opened and Kira stepped inside. She walked in just far enough to let the door close behind her.
The first thing Reyes noticed was how exhausted Kira looked... not just the kind where she wasn't getting enough sleep, but the kind as though she was carrying the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. Her blue eyes were dull even under the dim lights in the room and her lips, lacking the clear gloss she usually wore, were pulled into a frown. Her dark brown hair, usually up in a ponytail, was freed and tucked underneath the hood of the black hoodie she was wearing along with blue jeans and black sneakers. Usually, the Pathfinder wore her armor whenever she entered the slums. It was unlike her to be dressed anyway else outside the port.
Knowing that she was really going to need a drink, Reyes filled the two empty glasses with the liquor he shared only with her. "Hey there," he greeted.
Reyes realized that Kira had been in a daze with the way she shook her head, her eyelids blinking rapidly. She then turned her attention to him and her lips tugged into a smile. It didn't come close to reaching her eyes. "Hey yourself," she replied, her voice almost a whisper.
He filled the two glasses halfway and offered one to her. She walked over to him and took the drink in her hand before downing it all in one go. She sighed as she placed the empty glass on the table. "Thanks," she uttered in appreciation.
Reyes nodded and, after placing his own glass down, reached out with both arms to grasp her hands in his. "Come here," he urged as he pulled her towards him. Kira didn't resist and she soon straddled him, her legs on either side of him on the couch he sat on. Her hands moved to rest on his shoulders while one of his clung around her waist, his palm resting on her lower back for support. His other hand reached up to cup her face, his thumb brushing just below her lower lip.
In the weeks since they met, Reyes had seen many emotions on her face, from content to pure joy, to annoyance and concern. She was fiece and determined in a firefight, but patient behind her sniper rifle. Twice, her blue eyes turned dark with both hurt and anger – with one of those times directed at him when she found out he was the Charlatan. Once, she felt ashamed as tears beyond her control slipped down her cheeks... on that same day, no less.
For the first time, he saw how... defeated she seemed. Aside from the slump of her shoulders, her eyes were downcasted and the corners of her lips were pulled downward. Reyes quickly decided that he hated seeing her like this. What had happened on that mission in Tafeno to bring her into this state?
His eyes never leaving her face, he captured her chin between his thumb and index finger before tilting her head up a little. "Kira?" he murmured in question.
Her eyes moved up to see him before a shaky breath escaped her lips. "Vetra wanted me to go rock climbing with her tomorrow," she mentioned. Kira forced a small smile again. "I haven't done that since before we left the Milky Way."
Reyes knew Kira was stalling, but he decided to go along with it. "Really? Then again, I shouldn't be surprised given your... athletic enthusiam in a certain cave." He gave her a grin at those last words along with a gleam in his eyes.
Kira shook her head, but huffed in amusement nevertheless. Just as quickly though, her small smile faded as she moved her hands from his shoulders to his neck, her fingers soon resting along his jawline. "That's not the only reason I'm here."
Before Reyes could answer, Kira leaned in to press her lips into his. Her kiss was slow and gentle and he followed her lead despite the heat growing in his belly. The hand on her face moved to the back of her head, his fingers pulling back the hood before they brushed over her dark hair.
Oh how he missed her...
The kiss ended too soon as Kira pulled back from him. Reyes just managed to catch a glimpse of her eyes shutting tightly right before she leaned forward again to bury her face at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. His arms moved to enclose around her.
"I..." Kira started quickly, her voice slightly waivering. "It's been a long week. I... I needed to see you..."
Reyes continued to stroke her hair while the hand on her back began to slowly move up and down over the curve of her spine in comfort. "Tell me," he encouraged, knowing that she needed to air out her thoughts.
That was easier said than done. Neither one of them were used to airing out these kinds of emotions for one reason or another. Hell, she practically berated herself for crying that day in Draullir. They both only had casual hook-ups after experiencing heartbreak until now and they usually kept their associates at arms' length... except each other, apparently. So it wasn't a surprise when Kira didn't say anything right away. Then again, they did agree on sharing only the big secrets so maybe whatever was on her mind wasn't -
"I died," she suddenly said.
His ministrations with his hands suddenly froze in place. That was not what he expected to hear. "You... you died?" he ended up asking.
Kira didn't move as she started to explain what happened... from finding the Archon's ship tethered to Ark Paarchero, getting onto the ark, finding Raeka, and then sneaking onto the ship to find the map to Meridian.
"Then during our search, Cora, Drack, and I ended up in this one room when we suddenly walked into a trap," Kira continued. "It was some kind of stasis field that only interacts with living matter. The Archon tried to intimidate me before he took a needle to the back of my neck. SAM mentioned after that he needed to neutralize a biological transmitter in my bloodstream."
Reyes's arm tightened around her at those last two sentences. He felt his anger simmering within at the thought of the Archon touching her. He managed to inhale deeply in order to bury that ugly thought. "So... how did you..."
Kira moved so that she was facing him again, though her eyes remained closed. "Because the stasis field only worked on anyone who was breathing and, well... SAM confirmed that the only way for any of us to escape was for SAM to... stop my heart."
Reyes frowned after she explained that. "I... didn't know your AI could do that."
"Neither did I until SAM mentioned it."
Reyes moved in to press a gentle kiss to her lips before brushing the side of her nose with his. "Thank you," he murmured. "For coming back to me. I'm not too happy about SAM stopping your heart, but... thank you, SAM... for bringing her back."
Kira smirked a little. "I'm sure he'd appreciate it if I hadn't asked him to give us privacy before I got here." Once more, she grimaced. "You know what's strange? That's not really what's bothering me."
Reyes had an idea of what it was as soon as she said that. "Pathfinder Raeka."
Kira let out a shaky breath. "That's part of it." She brushed her hands over his shoulders again and grasped onto them as though they were a lifeline for her. Her eyes were still downcasted, but now tears were present at the edge.
"Did... did any reports you received tell you what we saw on the Archon's ship?" She asked with her voice barely above a whisper. "I mean... Nexus leadership knows the whole story of course, but I'm not sure if anything got leaked or..."
Reyes proceeded to rub gentle circles at the small of her back in comfort. "Basically the gist of it. Your team found Paarchero and got on the Archon's ship, and there were a number of salarian losses including their Pathfinder. There was also the news that a few krogans were rescued from the ship."
Kira inhaled sharply as she shut her eyes tight, her eyebrows furrowing and her teeth biting down on her lower lip. The grip on his shoulders tightened and Reyes was sure she would've left small indents from her fingernails on his skin if not for the padding on his light armor. He reached up to grasp her wrists and pulled her hands off him with little resistance. He then brought them to his lips and placed a tender kiss in between her index fingers. The whole time, his amber eyes never left her face.
"I assume more happened on that ship than the reports I saw showed."
Kira slowly nodded, her body going rigid. "I... I just... I was never naïve to think that I wouldn't see bad things when I first joined the Alliance. I also expected to lose friends and colleagues on the job. I figured it would be the same deal when I became Pathfinder. And just as I expected, they happened. I've lost friends and I've seen some terrible shit. It doesn't get easier as time goes on... but you eventually learn to cope with it somehow, even when it becomes too much and all seems hopeless."
She opened her eyes, filled with unshed tears, and looked straight at him. Then the rest of her face began to slowly crumble into despair. "I... went into this job knowing all this... but... I still wasn't prepared to see what I saw on that ship. They... the kett... they were trying to figure out how to exalt those of us from the Milky Way. They... removed the salarians from cryo... there were so many pods, all of them empty. The smell of death was heavy even before we found them strewn on the floor, discarded like garbage. Every single one of them were experimented on, organs removed while they were still alive. And we saw a room through a glass window and... there was a salarian... still alive... torso wide open... he was screaming in pain and begging for it to stop... they were taking something out of him... and we knew then that there was nothing we could do..."
The tears finally fell as Kira tore her gaze away. She shut her eyes tight as she began to explain about them eventually finding the map to Meridian in the Archon's chamber, the EMP that was used to keep the ship from firing on Paarchero for a short time, and the exalted krogan they ran into.
"After we got out of the room," she continued. "That was when SAM informed us that there were more krogan – Drack's missing scouts - imprisoned on the ship who were due for exaltation. Then right after that, Raeka contacted me... she was pinned down and alone against the kett after she sent her team back to the ark. She found some more salarians who were still alive and was trying to get to them. She knew she wasn't going to make it and... she was trying to say goodbye..."
Kira's shoulders suddenly began to shake as sobs began to wrack her body. "There wasn't time to save both, not with EMP's time limit. I was always careful with making decisions under pressure, but this time... this time I panicked. And in my panic, I chose to save the krogan. The weight of the decision didn't even sink in until after we were out of the Tafeno system."
The whole time, Reyes remained silent as he listened to her words, his hands holding her close in reassurance. He had known that Kira was a smart, brave, and determined woman since the day they met at Kralla's Song. Here and now however, Reyes was reminded that the Pathfinder was still very young, barely a few years past her teens. Of course she was mature enough to realize, as she said herself, that her job wasn't forgiving when it came to witnessing the terrible atrocities that could befall a living being. But it was clear in the way she was upset over the events on the Archon's ship that this was something she had never encountered before. It's one thing to have run into dead civilians who were fortunate enough to die quickly... it's another to know that civilians were painfully tortured prior to their deaths. It didn't help when you witnessed one of them screaming for help and you were powerless to save them.
In his years as a pilot for the Alliance prior to being the Collective leader, Reyes recalled a day on a colony he flew with the other soldiers he served with when they received an emergency message calling for nearby units to help rescue civilians. To this day, he was still haunted by nightmares from the screams and cries for help of those captured by Batarians as they were hauled in cages to be shipped off to wherever they were needed. The batarians had stopped his unit from being able to save them that day. It was common knowledge that very, very few people who became slaves under the batarians were found and freed, and knowing that made the whole thing worse. They were so close to saving those civilians, but it wasn't enough. There was nothing they could do.
Reyes was younger than Kira was now when it happened. For him, that was the day when he realized that this kind of job... and the ones that came after... would never spare one from such horrible things. And from there it would go two ways... you either learn to move on or let it grip you like a vice around your neck. Either way, it would haunt and follow you like a dark shadow and it would grasp you at any given moment.
In those dark days following the failed mission, all Reyes could do was deal by focusing on his work or, during downtime, stare at the bottom of a drink. By then, he had no one he was comfortable talking to about these things because the only two people he was willing to share these thoughts with were no longer in his life. His Mamá had died suddenly after he joined the Alliance, and the man he had fallen in love with during pilot training left him with a broken heart not too long ago.
Thinking about it now, those three events affected who he became – someone who was focused on business and careful about who he let in, even with his casual hook-ups and one-night stands. And even with those who he let in, he always remained tight-lipped about a lot of things about himself, especially his weaknesses and the things that affected him.
But very slowly, Kira Ryder was chipping away at the wall Reyes built around himself without even trying because right now, he felt the words pertaining to his experience on that colony at the tip of his tongue. He knew it was because he wanted to tell her things like, 'I know how you feel.' Perhaps they would help, but he swallowed the words down nevertheless. Right now, this wasn't about him, but about what she was now dealing with in her mind. One day, he would tell her his story.
Reyes hated seeing the despair on Kira face as well as the tears that streaked down her cheeks. In short, it broke his heart to see her sad. But despite that, he knew since Draullir that she was ashamed of being vulnerable... and yet, she had come to him tonight and willingly not just because she needed to be close to him, but also because Reyes was the only one she felt comfortable airing out these kinds of feelings to (besides her brother who was still in a coma, he guessed). And most likely, she came willingly to him knowing that her vulnerablility would be out in the open for him to see.
As much as it hurt him to see her like this, Reyes was glad that she did have someone she was comfortable with to air this out to, something he never had at her age.
Kira's voice cut through his thoughts as she began to talk louder and faster with each word. "Drack told me to focus on what went right, but I just can't. All I can think about are those salarians who suffered and... every night when I try to go to sleep, I keep hearing Raeka's last words to me. And everyone thinks I'm bothered by how I died again, but all I keep hearing in my head is Raeka saying goodbye." At the last word, a sob broke though and more followed as her last bit of control over her emotions slipped away.
Reyes moved his hands behind her head and back and pulled her closer to him until her face was once more buried at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Her arms came up to cling around him as he began to stoke her hair in comfort with his fingers.
"Don't blame yourself for this," Reyes murmured in her ear. "You were left with a tough choice you didn't ask for."
"But I left Raeka to die," Kira uttered in between sobs. "She and her team saved our lives when the kett ambushed us and this is how I paid her back. I left her to die..."
For a while – neither of them were sure how long exactly - Reyes simply held Kira close to him while gently stroking her hair in comfort as her soft, mournful cries echoed off the small private room of Tartarus. He knew that she likely needed this kind of release since they left Tafeno. He also knew that she needed to be strong and sure of herself as the Pathfinder... there was no room to let anyone see her beyond what was shown. So it was no surprise that only now she was able to let go.
Eventually, the sobs fell quiet and the only thing left was the slightly shaking of her body as she tried to breathe normally again in between small hiccups. Gently, Reyes pushed her back a bit so that he could reach up to cup her face with both of his hands, his thumbs wiping away the wet streaks her tears left behind.
Even with those gorgeous eyes reddened and wet, she still managed to smile, even if it was very subtle. "Thank you..." she murmured. "I needed that... I... I'm sorry you had to see that, again..."
Reyes leaned forward so that his forehead brushed against hers. "Don't be ashamed, not with me. And remember what I said before, angel - you never need to be 'Pathfinder' around me." He then pulled back a little to give her a look of concern. "Will you be all right?"
Kira let out a shaky breath. "I... I don't know if anyone could be all right after all that. But at least now I'm feeling a little better."
Reyes left a chaste kiss on her lips. "It's not something that can be easily put behind you. It'll never completely go away. The best you can do is not let it always haunt you if you can help it."
Those words made Kira tilt her head a bit in curiosity. "You've had a similar experience?"
"...Something like that," was all he offered, for now anyway. "But I can say that even if you saw more atrocities like that, it never gets easier..."
"But you deal with it in your own way somehow," Kira finished for him.
Reyes nodded. "Exactly."
Kira let out another shaky breath. "Hopefully this will be the worst of it for me... but I doubt that."
Reyes knew from there that there was nothing more to be said, so he instead leaned in to press his lips against hers again, the kiss slow and gentle like the one she gave him earlier. He felt Kira's hand dig through his black hair at the back of his head as though trying to keep him in place. That thought made him chuckle a little against her lips and when she began to laugh a little too, well... he was just happy that he able to make her laugh even if it was just for a moment.
Eventually, he pulled away, only leaving barely an inch between them as they took a moment to catch their breaths. "How long do you plan to stay?" Reyes soon asked.
"Vetra and I plan our rock climbing adventure in the morning," Kira reminded him. "And I'm also giving everyone some shore leave, so... I'd say about three days."
Reyes nodded. Three days, of course, wasn't enough. Well... any amount of time would never be enough... but he definitely wanted to make the most of it while she was here.
He reached up to brush his fingers along her jawline, his amber eyes gazing up at her blue ones. "Stay with me tonight?" he offered while not feeling sure over why he felt like she might say no.
However, the smile on her face caused his heart to thump against his chest and even before, she answered, he knew that she was accepting his offer.
"Yes."
