Scott Malkinson Said It

By Shadowgate

…..

Scott Malkinson was in the school cafeteria and told Butters he was going to get more milk and asked

Eric Cartman chimed in "I'm Scott Malkinson. I have a lisp and diabetes and I'm a little servant bitch boy for Butters."

Scott Malkinson finally got fed up and mimicked Cartman.

"I'm Eric Cartman and my mom is a crack whore who makes porn videos with men shitting on her."

The entire cafeteria said "OHHH!" and Cartman got pissed off.

"I'm going to kick the shit out of you Scott Malkinson."

Scott took off with Eric chasing after him and Scott ran right into Jenny Simon knocking her and her lunch to the floor. He threw a trash can in front of Cartman and Cartman tripped over it. When Cartman got up he chased Scott some more but Scott threw another trash can in front of Cartman. Cartman tripped over that one. There was trash all over the cafeteria floor. All the students were laughing so loud Mister Mackey came into the cafeteria to see what the riot was about.

It was indeed a riot he had on his hands and he yelled "EVERYONE QUIET DOWN!"

It was a riot so he turned on the sprinklers because the children would not stop laughing and screaming. The cold water made the children scream louder.

After 20 minutes the students calmed down and all was quiet. But then a minute later Mister Garrison walked into the cafeteria and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?"

Soon after he tripped over food that was all over the floor and then the students started laughing at Mister Garrison.

Mister Garrison started kicking and screaming like a little kid because he'd fallen down and he was sitting in food.

The children laughed at Mister Garrison. Once the laughter started up again Mister Mackey had to turn on the sprinklers.

15 minutes later the fourth grade students left the cafeteria drenched and their ears were ringing. Mister Mackey and Mister Garrison were angry that they had no answers as to what happened. Scott Malkinson had just come out of the nurse's office after getting his insulin shot and he saw all his classmates looking at him with anger.

Scott said "how'd you all get so wet?"

Kyle answered "we laughed so hard at the fact you finally mimicked Cartman and then he chased you and you knocked over trash cans, well Mister Mackey turned on the sprinklers because we were so loud and there was food all over the floor."

Stan said "then Mister Garrison came in and he tripped over the messy floor so we started laughing again and Mister Mackey turned on the sprinkler again."

Scott started laughing and said "Mister Garrison fell down."

Craig snapped "it's not funny."

Scott replied "well you laughed at the time Mister Garrison fell down."

Jimmy replied "well now we're through laughing and we want to kick your ass you shit face."

Kyle said "Jimmy wait now I know we're mad but can we blame him for finally standing up to Cartman?"

Scott asked "how about I just confess everything to Principal Victoria and take my punishment?"

Suddenly all of Scott's classmates started to see that he was not an ideal target for beating the shit out of and was generally a kind person. Craig said "hey Scott I'll walk you to the principal. She's in the cafeteria."

Craig put his arm around Scott and walked him to Principal Victoria.

Cartman was cussing in the hallway.

Kyle said "hey Cartman it just so happens when Scott Malkinson confesses everything to Principal Victoria which he's doing now you'll be in big trouble as well."

Cartman yelled "GODDAMN IT!"

THE END