The constant beep of an alarm made Xander stir from his sleep and slam the snooze button before trying to fall sleep again. He didn't want to wake up. He never wanted to wake up ever again. He didn't want to live life anymore. But alas, his alarm beeped again and he reluctantly got up, taking a shower and getting ready for work. Just before he left his apartment, his phone rang and he stared at the device sadly, picking up shortly after. "Yes, Mum?" He answered with fake enthusiasm.
"Even if you sound fine over the phone, I know you're grieving." His mom simply said as he sighed in defeat. Of course, he couldn't fool his mom. "I wanted to know how you are and how your friends are helping you cope."
Xander exited his apartment with his backpack and locked the door, walking to the Rock Porium. "I'm fine, Mum, really. They're helping a lot by just being there for me and I thank them for that."
"That's good to hear. And as much as I'd love to talk to you more, I have to go. I'm sorry, Xander. I'll make sure to catch a flight as soon as possible." He heard the end of this conversation many times already and he didn't need to hear it again, so he hung up before his mom could finish her sentence and walked into the Rock Porium silently, staring at the floor.
Daydreaming in a chair at work, Xander shook his head from his thoughts when Madison was calling his name. "What? Sorry, I didn't hear you. I was, uh, just thinking about... things." Xander forced a smile.
"You've been distracted for a long time. You sure it's just family problems or-"
"I'm fine!" Xander said a little too quickly and sighed. "I'm sorry. I just can't think clearly anymore."
"You can leave if you want." Nick said from across the store. "Business is slow today, so we could cover for you. It's not like you were doing anything anyway." Madison raised an eyebrow at the Red Ranger. "Sorry."
Waving the apology away, Xander stood, "It's fine and thank you. I'll make sure to make it up to you guys." He promised and packed up his backpack that held his computer, leaving the Rock Porium without another word which worried his friends even more.
Xander placed his backpack next to the couch and walked through his apartment slowly, trying his best to repress the memories that flooded into his mind. Sitting in his apartment alone and hugging his knees close, Xander put his forehead on his kneecaps and did something he hasn't done for years, yet he has done more times in a week than compared to his lifetime.
He cried.
About a few weeks ago, the world was unfair to him and took part of his family away right in front of him and it killed him to remember every single time his thoughts flew from the subject at hand. His nightmares weren't any better and over the past few weeks, he'd stare at his ceiling for hours because he couldn't fall asleep. He didn't want to repeatedly watch the incident over and over again when he fell asleep, even if it meant that he could possibly contract insomnia. He didn't want to see it anymore.
His family-with the exception of his mom because of work-was visiting for a week and he was excited for his friends to finally meet them. Early in the morning, Xander was at the airport ready to pick up his dad and younger siblings. Once they got settled in his five-seater truck with their luggage in the back, his younger brother and sisters were explaining to him how excited they were to finally get to play games with him again and he smiled at them, unable to say no to all of their random requests. Before they arrived at his apartment, however, they encountered a monster rampaging through the city as Xander immediately stopped the car, driving into a nearby alley and turning off the car.
Exiting the truck, Xander turned to his dad, "Stay here and make sure that thing doesn't see any of you. I'll lure him away from you, just in case the Rangers don't come in time."
He was about to take off running, but a soft voice stopped him, "Xanny is going to be the hero today?" His youngest sister, Dani, asked-she was the youngest out of all of them.
Xander smiled at his little sister and nodded, "Yes, I'm going to make sure that monster doesn't hurt any of you and protect you with my life. Just like I did with the monsters in your dreams, Dan." Dani smiled at the memory.
"Are you going to save a beautiful princess?" His other sister, Avery, asked-she was the oldest out of his three siblings.
"Yes, I am." Xander answered without hesitation. "But she won't be as beautiful as you, Avi." Avery giggled.
His only brother and second youngest, Nicholai, asked, "Will you come back safely so we can play video games together?"
"Of course, Nico, but this time I'll win." The Green Ranger turned to his dad. "Watch them carefully, please. And if you see the monster, drive to my apartment or to the Rock Porium. Either way, you'll be safe."
Once his dad nodded, Xander ran out of the alley and towards the monster and the Rangers were already engaged in battle. "Sorry, I'm late, mates. I was taking care of my family."
Nick placed a hand on his shoulder, "No problem, as long as they're safe." A large boulder was thrown their way and Vida quickly blew them away from the oncoming boulder with her wings. "Ranger up, Xander.
"Right. Magical Source! Mystic Force!" Xander morphed and fought with his fellow Rangers. He dodged a hurdling rock with ease and called upon his vines to keep the monster at bay for a while. "That won't hold for long. Nick, your turn!" Xander shouted as he kept his vines around the monster while Nick got ready and called for Fire Heart.
Nick was about to attack, but a voice stopped them. "Not so fast." They looked up to see Necrolai holding a familiar looking truck and she dropped it down in between the monster and the Rangers, causing the vines to rip. Necrolai landed next to the truck, "If you care about these pesky humans, then give up." Xander stared at the four people in the truck, three of them were screaming and crying and it just made the Green Ranger freeze in place.
No, please, not them! Anyone else, but them! Xander wished in his head, but he couldn't say it out loud for some reason. He could hear various voices trying to talk to him, but he ignored them and tried to think of a plan that could save his family. Necrolai forced his family to get out of the truck and they obeyed reluctantly.
"Snap out of it!" Vida yelled in his face. "We have civilians to save."
"R-right." He stuttered and composed himself before getting into a fighting stance as the monster took out a sword and charged at them. The Rangers dodged it easily and landed behind the monster, taking out their Magi Staffs and firing at the monster. "Axe Mode!" Xander yelled and struck the monster's strong armor, cracking the armor. He jumped back and glanced at Necrolai fighting off the Blue and Pink Rangers as Chip readied his attack.
"Crossbow Mode!" Chip fired at the monster as the cracked armor gave up and broke off the monster, falling onto the ground. He lowered his crossbow as Nick jumped onto his shoulder and flipped, landing in front of the monster and striking it with his sword, but the monster parried his attempt and continued-at the best of it's ability-to dodge and deflect the strikes from Nick.
Xander was about to help Nick with the Mystic Force Fighters, but Necrolai spoke, standing over the unmorphed Blue and Pink Rangers. "Strike at the heart, Vertian!" The monster, Vertian, reacted swiftly and punched Nick away as it charged towards Xander, who rolled away at the last second, but realized too late that Vertian was going after the truck. Vertian jumped and raised its sword before striking down powerfully on his family, who screamed as his dad used his body to protect his siblings.
"NO!" Xander shouted as it echoed through the air and that's when he noticed it.
Chip stood in front of Vertian with his arms outstretched, then he fell to the ground as he was forced to power down because of the pain. Vertian grabbed a handful of Chip's shirt and pulled him up, gripping its sword as Xander ran towards them to stop the monster from hurting anyone he cared about, but again he was too late. The monster plunged the sword into Chip, who cried in pain, and made sure it fully went through, pushing the Yellow Ranger off its bloodied sword moments later. Chip fell to the ground as blood spilled out of his wound and everyone stared in shock.
One of their own had just...
Vertian slowly walked away with Necrolai, "You.." Vida started as tears started to form. "You.. you... YOU MONSTER!" She shouted as she morphed and charged-against Madison and Nick's yells for her to stop-at the monster, who was smarter than her since she was blinded by her anger. Vertian quickly turned and slashed at her, forcing her to power down and fall at its feet. Vertian grabbed a fistful of Vida's shirt and raised her to the air, drawing its sword back, but something shot at it and made it drop Vida and its sword. Madison quickly morphed and attacked Vertian with Nick as Necrolai watched the helpless humans with amusement on her face.
Xander looked around and saw a barely conscious Chip fighting the need to survive and holding his crossbow, which was pointed at Vertian, before dropping it and heaving for air. The Green Ranger ran over to the Yellow Ranger and examined the wound. The sword went right through without a problem and Xander didn't know how to stop the bleeding since there were two wounds and the blood was spilling out steadily. Xander looked at Chip and put pressure on one of the wounds-much to Chip's dismay, "Chip, come on, mate. You'll make it. Don't close your eyes on me. Come on, stay with me." Xander tried to coach his friend as Chip was slipping in and out of consciousness. Xander powered down and took off his jacket, wrapping it around Chip as a placeholder of a towel on the wound on his back.
"Xan..." Chip called weakly as Xander reluctantly made eye contact with him. "Take care of V for me, alright?"
"Don't talk like that. You're gonna make it!" Xander put pressure on his front wound again.
"You'll be fine..." Chip took a moment to breath. "Without me."
"No, I am not losing you!" Tears began to form in Xander's eyes and he wiped them away quickly with his bloodied hands, putting his hands back on Chip's wound.
"I'm so glad I met you and V." Chip replied as Xander refused to cry in front of Chip. "You don't have to be afraid anymore, Xan." Chip said, slowly lifting his hand up to touch Xander's cheek and rubbing small, light circles. "Promise me, you won't be afraid anymore."
"I'm not afraid." Xander said as he put his hand over Chip's, who was still rubbing circles. "I was never afraid."
Slightly smirking, Chip said, "You're afraid... of losing one of us... You have to... let us go."
"No," Xander let a few stray tears roll down his face, "I... I was afraid of.. of..." More tears started falling against his will and refused to finish his sentence. "Please Chip... you... you can't leave. Charlie Thorn is... is... is supposed to be invincible, he's a super hero."
Chip squeezed Xander's hand weakly and smiled tiredly, "Every hero... has his weaknesses... and I'm no different."
"You can't leave us here."
"I love you, Xan... and tell V that I love her too... she'd kill me again if I didn't." Chip joked and breathed deeply, squeezing Xander's hand again as he squeezed back.
Xander sniffed, "I love you too."
"And Xan?"
"Yes, my sweet Charlie Thorn?"
"Will you kiss me goodnight... like how you always do?" Chip asked.
Xander closed his eyes and sniffed again before opening his eyes and kissing Chip lightly on the forehead, then cheek. His lips brushed Chip's for a moment and he hesitated. He couldn't believe that this was happening. His boyfriend was dying right in his arms and Xander wasn't ready to say goodbye. His lips connected with Chip's and they both cherished the moment together, never wanting to let go, but knowing that they had to. Xander pulled away, "Goodnight... my sweet Charlie Thorn." He reluctantly finalized as Chip smiled and closed his eyes. Moments later, Chip's grip loosened and Xander closed his eyes and rested his head on the Yellow Ranger's chest, crying.
This isn't what he meant. He didn't want his family to get hurt, the Rangers included.
Soon paramedics came and took over, running to Chip to take care of him as Nick forcefully pulled Xander away from Chip, so the paramedics could take a look at Chip without Xander pushing them away. Shaking the Green Ranger furiously, Nick called his name a few times, "Xander! Listen to me! You need to breathe and calm down." He heard and slowly followed the commands Nick was giving him. "Good, that's good. A few more." In. Out. In. Out. Xander counted and sighed when he was calm.
"I'm sorry." He said quietly, hanging his head low to avoid eye contact, especially to avoid Vida's gaze. No one dared to talk as a paramedic came over to take a look at Xander for any unseen injuries and he was happy he was taken away from the others. But then he noticed that Vida wasn't with Nick or Madison. He left the paramedic's side and ran over to them, "Where's V?" He asked loudly.
Madison shushed him, "She went in an ambulance, she's headed to the hospital. She's fine." Madison assured Xander when he tried to run off. "She'll be fine." She repeated, but that didn't ease Xander's nerves.
"Xanny?" He heard and immediately regretted not going with the paramedic. Xander turned to face Dani, "Are you okay?" He only nodded. "Did you save the day?"
Sighing, the Green Ranger crouched down to his sister's level, "No, someone more braver than me saved the day." Both of their gazes landed on Chip. "He was a hero today and we'll never forget that." Dani nodded and she skipped away to her dad. Madison was about to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but his quiet voice stopped her, "Don't... Just don't. I'm going to the hospital to check on Vida. I'll call you if anything happens." Upon arriving at the hospital, Xander was met with devastating news and he stormed out of the hospital, locking himself in his apartment for a few days and refusing to answer anyone, even if there was a monster attack.
He lost his sweet Charlie Thorn and his beloved Vida Rocca in a span of an hour and he blamed himself for everything because he let his emotions run wild while they were in battle. He could have reacted better if he had control over his emotions. It was all his fault. His dad stopped by at some point, knocking on the door and announcing that they were going to give him space, so they were leaving on that day and coming back when Xander wanted them to.
After a few days, Xander went out and stumbled into a bar, drinking himself to sleep. When the two Rangers heard about Xander leaving his apartment, Nick found him passed out on one of the couches in the bar a few hours later. Nick sighed at the scene, both in relief and disappointment, and picked him up, bringing him to the Rock Porium so they could figure out what to do with him.
And yet here he was, crying, alone in his apartment that he used to share with Vida and Chip. He didn't want to say goodbye, but he knew that he would never see them again and it killed him knowing that they would have wanted him to do something instead of sitting around and crying. But he just didn't have the strength anymore to keep up his daily routine. He didn't want to live a life where he didn't have Chip and Vida in his life and where they weren't around to pester him about flirting with others. Even though Chip always turned a dark shade of red and Vida would beat him up for flirting, Xander couldn't help but fluster them.
He slightly smiled at the memory and the streams of tears were slowing as he stood up and examined his trashed apartment. There were so many broken things in there that the neighbors complained about the constant noise when he was breaking everything of his. He turned to his desk in the corner of the room and a framed picture of the three of them glistened at him. Xander walked over and picked it up, staring at it disbelievingly and taking out the picture from the frame. He ripped the picture and put part of it in the frame and the other part in the trash. He placed the frame on the table in the living room and walked to his kitchen, grabbing a match and lighting it. Xander stared at the picture frame and the trash can before throwing the match into the trash, lighting the contents in the metal can on fire. He stared for a few minutes before exiting his apartment to head to the bar again.
The picture frame stood in the middle of a chaos-ridden floor with papers, belongings, pictures, and more littered the area in the living room. The ripped picture in the frame showed a smiling Chip and Vida as the other part of the picture in the trash showed a smiling Xander slowly being melted away.
