Okay you guys this is another one of those "Bella's got wings" ones I know you are all probably sick of them but I want to try to do it…

Okay you guys this is another one of those "Bella's got wings" ones I know you are all probably sick of them but I want to try to do it….song for this one is 'memories'-within temptation. just give it a chance…plz?

He left me ,he didn't love me anymore. The pain in my heart turned into actual physical pain. I was dead inside. A zombie , without my angel I couldn't live anymore. There was nothing to put a smile on my face no one to got to bed too.

There was a void filling where my hearet used to be. A startling shutter ripped through me opening the whole more and more. I couldn't deal with it. 3 months Id lived with this pain , even Jacob left me.

Rene died and Charlie was in the hospital with a heart attack the doctors were sure he wasn't going to live from.

As of now he now he was going to be put in intensive care but they said that he would not be coming out of it.

I tried doing the right thing , I tried to move on. But I knew the truth , everyone did. He was my everything I wouldn't be able to move on from that. I didn't regret it , but I couldn't embrace it either.

The memories were too painful. They always brought on these sharp blinding pains. Like my heart was being ripped out all at once. How I had lived up till now was a mystery to me.

So many times I thought that I would brake , I tried once after Jake had left too. If I didn't have him then I had no one. But only after I had done it had I thought of Charlie. Sam was the one that found me and saved me.

He promised to keep quiet but only if I promised not to do it ever again. I promised him that I would protect myself. But then again he promised to stay with me and you can see how well that worked out.

But even If I couldn't think too much on the memories I had with them because of the pain I still tried. That is why I stayed in forks.

I had to have some proof that I wasn't crazy and that they were real. Not my imagination just going crazy. I will always love him. Them , I would remember them then I would know for sure they were alive.

But they left , and I didn't know where I hell I cold find them.

3 days have gone by , three days since I went to the hospital to find Charlie dead. He hadn't lasted. I don't know why I was so surprised ,they said he had too much stress on him and I couldn't help but think that it was my fault.

As I was self loathing i thought about it. Rene and Charlie wouldn't want me sulking. So what if he left me.

So what if I wasn't good enough anymore. They had always wanted me to go to school and be able to provide for any future family that I may have.

I knew I wouldn't be having a family because I couldn't move on. But what I cold do is at least get a good collage education and try to live up to their expectations. and that was what I was going to do.

I would at least make them happy. I could live here and go to school ,the house was paid for fully and I had over a good million dollars I the bank form Charlie.

Not to mention the inheritance that I got form René and any of my collages and personal savings. I may not feel fine but relatively I would be stable.

I would close myself off to the rest of the world. stone cold and I would be safe.

Id put up walls no ne would go through. no one would see the real me anymore, Isabella Marie swan was once a weak pathetic human. I wasn't.

I was some kind of mythical warrior with wings of an angel , its ironic how he used to call me his angel.

Then after he leaves look what happen. I am destined to help and save humans form knowing that our world existed.

I will be the one to save them and myself ,no longer will I need someone to be there for me. To save naive innocent Bella. now I was stronger than them put together and I will show them just how powerful I can be if the need comes.

they are no exception to my rules. A vampire or werewolf threatens a human I take care of them the first time. No free B's or second chances.

I promised myself id never again let anyone into my heart or past my guard and it will stay that way.

If this seems a little off or confusing then its okay ,ask questions and ill answer as much as I can but some obvious questions will be answered in later chapters they are all part of her 'story'