Hey,

I know that i have other things to finish first, but I just had to post this before it left my head completely. I've never played the game but this is based on some silly thing my brother acted out last night from his player experience that had me laughing hysterically - flailing arms and everything. I can't represent the voices as well as he did in his impression (you could probably imagine it better than I could write it), but I still hope you all enjoy this little fic nonetheless.


Joe was completely in the zone, his weapons primed and ready, stealth mode activated while he crept around the run-down city. After the amount of run-ins he'd had with those mutants yesterday, he knew that he'd have to be way more cautious around the central area of town. From what he'd heard, these guys really liked to group around all the dilapidated buildings, waiting for an unsuspecting human to pass by for them to pounce on. The very thought of being caught unawares by those creatures made him shudder, although he caught himself and reinforced his composure as he continued on. So far so good; no creatures within his sights just yet. Maybe he'd find some more bottle caps to collect nearby...

On the other side of the street two wandering hillbillies coincidentally made their way along the path at this very moment. They knew that this part of the road was fairly safe, having wandered through it often over the past two weeks to feel confident enough to walk around openly. The mutants seemed to avoid this area for some reason. After going out for a nice relaxing stroll in the relatively safe remains of the neighborhood, a bit of movement caught Bob's eye.

"Hey Jim," he said, nudging his shorter friend in the shoulder to grab his attention. "Look at that!"

Jim blinked at Bob's attempts to drag him out of his thoughts. "Wha-?" Bob was grinning at something across the street, Jim could tell.

"Over there," he repeated, pointing frantically. "Look at him - what's he doing?"

Jim followed his friend's gaze and couldn't help his grin either. Really, to go creeping around a town in broad daylight, so far away from any kind of cover was ridiculous, even to him. Did he realize just how stupid he looked, skulking about like that? The guy should know it, too. "Hey, Crouching Tiger!" Jim shouted out over the near suffocating quiet, broken only by Bob's laughter which was muffled by his hands. "What are you doing over there?"

They watched as the young man - who'd have thought? - jolted as if struck by lightning, jumped back up to his feet and spun around as if surprised that he wasn't the only person around. That very reaction had Jim and Bob leaning into each other as they laughed; Jim swore he could hardly breathe.

Joe heard a man's voice call out and he'd been startled. Had someone found him? How? He had his stealth mode activated which meant that no one was supposed to see him at all. The very idea that he could be seen was rather frightening, as that meant that those mutants could possibly have been able to see him as well. Joe did the only thing he could think of in that moment; he gave up on any chance of finding loot in the town, lifted up his guns and ran as far out of their range as he possibly could. Who knew if the other person was hostile? Joe certainly didn't want to chance it.

Jim and Bob watched as the young man ran away, arms flailing awkwardly as he attempted to hold onto his his weapons in the process. They shook their heads collectively and wondered, still laughing, if they might find yet another weirdo doing the same thing when they went out for their walk again tomorrow. Really, these die-hard shooter folks had no idea how the world worked anymore...


Thanks for reading, guys,

Shadow