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CHAPTER ONE

Hey, missy, care to dance?" The man smiled and held out his hand.

She turned around on the barstool and looked into a pair of light green eyes. The woman set her beer down and sighed. "I can't dance."

"Why not? Of course you can. Anyone can dance…just some better than others."

She snickered softly, as if she didn't believe this. Turning back to the bar, she took a heavy gulp of beer. "No, I really can't dance," she stated without turning.

He laughed and grabbed her hand, "You know what, girlie? I don't believe that, so I guess you'll just have to prove it to me."

They found an open area on the wooden dance floor. He held her hand in his and pressed his body against her, his lips against her ear.

"So, you can't dance, hm?" She could feel him smile and his lips, soft and so nice, brushed against her ear as he whispered this.

"No, I can't."

"Well, what do you call this?" He stood back to look into her eyes. Then he smiled and shook his head.

"I don't know," she said, "But I can't dance."

"You're doing just fine, far as I can see."

"Well, thanks."

"My pleasure, cutie." He cringed, waiting for the slap. When nothing came, he trudged onward, "Come take a ride with me."

She stepped back and looked at him. The cowboy and his dance partner stood, both afraid that they would say or already had said the wrong thing, so neither uttered a word. She finally spoke, her confusion and awe both expressed in one word, "What?"

He looked down at the floor, shuffling his feet a little, "Nothin'. Nothin'. I'm sorry, ma'am."

"No. Tell me what you said. Please?"

The man finally looked at her, "I asked you to uh, take a ride with me. In my truck." He saw her eyes brighten slightly and he smiled, the uncomfortable moment miles behind.

"You've got a truck, hm?"

"I sure do."

She smiled and grabbed his hand, "Yeah, maybe a ride wouldn't hurt nothing or no one, but, I'll have ta know your name 'fore I do something like that. Parents taught me well, ya see."

He gave her a smile, "Oh?"

"Oh."

"My name's Rick...Rick Dunn," He said as he led her by the hand out into the parking lot.

"Oh, it's a fabulous thing to meet you, Rick. I'm The Cutie at the Bar."

Rick laughed, "That you are. Now, what is the name your parents gave you, doll?"

"Jennifer. Jenny. Jenny Culver. "

"That's even better."

She laughed, "Is it?"

"It is. My truck's parked over here." He took her hand and led her across the dirt lot to his dark green pick-up truck. Its exterior was dull and old with wear.

"Man, wish I had something like this." She said as she ran her hand along the door.

He smiled as he swung the door open, making it creak on the hinges. "It gets me where I wanna go. Pretty reliable thing."

She jumped into the passenger side as he went around to the other door.

"Do you come here often?" He asked as he slid his arm over the back of the bench seat.

"To the bar?"

"Yeah. I guess what I'm really askin' is, do you attract all these guys?"

"The drunks, you mean?"

He laughed and slowly nodded his head, "Well...yeah."

" I get a fair share of them, but sometimes I meet one or two nice boys," She licked her lips slowly, "...cowboys like you."

He laughed softly and started the truck. "Cowboys like me, hm?"

"Well, what I mean is...well, you're no-''

She felt his fingers tentatively ease to the back of her neck and begin to rub it slowly. "Don't you mean exactly what you said, sweetie?"

A nervous smile eased across her lips, "Well..."

He took his hand away and shifted the truck, leaving his hand on the gear stick. There was an awkward silence between the two strangers. Jenny sank deeper into the soft seat and sighed deeply, "I'm real sorry. I jus'-''

"Darlin', don't be sorry. There's nothin' to be sorry about."

She was quiet for a moment. "Can I have your hand?"

He smiled gently and eased his hand toward her with his palm up. She took it and gently traced her fingers along the crease lines. He gazed at her for a moment and then reluctantly, slowly took his hand back and slowed the truck.

She glanced up and let out an awed sigh. "This is yours?" In front of her, the soft glow of the porch light lit up the quaint, white-framed house. The porch-railing ran squarely along the front. In the distance, she could barely make out the outline of a massive red barn and beside it, a jagged fence-line.

"Yes, ma'am, this is mine."

"It's beautiful." She laughed softly, "This is like…like the house and the land I used to always dream about. Except, mine would have a little creek down over there, in the pasture." She paused, "How'd you come by something like this?" Then she quickly turned her face away and said softly, "I'm sorry, it's none of my-"

"I inherited it from my daddy. He's long gone...hell knows where."

And because she could think of no better way to express how sorry she was, she simply whispered that, "I'm sorry."

"Nah. I'm happy. Happy with my life, happy with my home, happy with my job. By the way, I'm a horse breeder and bull rider. Mostly bull-riddin', though. In case your curiosity was jus' bubblin' over." He flashed a smile, got out of the truck and slammed the door. As he walked in front of the windshield, Jenny saw just how handsome he really was. His brown cowboy hat tipped low on his brow, his jaw line defining his profile well. She rested her elbow on the door and her head in her hand. The passenger door suddenly opened. She let out a cry of alarm and spilled out into his arms and felt them falling to the gravel. He yelled out as his shoulder hit the ground, his hat flying off. He tightened his hold on her and mumbled, "Shit..."

"Oh! Oh, damn!" She squirmed in his arms, trying to get up. He laughed and held onto her, "Stop that. You look like a fish outta water." He kissed her ear softly. She froze and lay there, on a strange driveway, wrapped in a stranger's arms.

He laughed softly, "Figured that'd stop your jitters."

"I just-''

"You just took a little tumble, that's all."

She raised her eyebrow, "A little tumble?"

"That's right. Are you broken, cutie?"

"Well...no, I don't think so..."

He smiled and squeezed her again, "See? You're fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine 'n' dandy. Well, my butt took quite a beatin', but it'll be alright, I think."

"What about your shoulder and your arm and your head?"

"Hm...well, yeah, those too. Those hurt a bit, too. But I'll take a couple Aspirin and check for scraps and bruises on the both of us and then we'll get a cup of tea or somethin' and sit for a while. It's kind of chilly out here..."

She looked up at the sky and saw that the blackness was covered in beautiful, bright pinpricks.

"It's beautiful..."

"It is, isn't it?" He eased out from under her and sat on his heels and watched her. She felt his eyes on her and looked at him and smiled in the darkness.

"You ready to go inside?" He whispered.

"I think so..."

His quiet laughter echoed in the silent, country night. "You think so?"

"Yes. Let's go inside."

"Alright," He picked her up carefully and she groaned. "I'm sorry," He said.

"No, it's alright...must've done something to my foot on my way down. Probably it got tangled up with yours," She laughed quietly.

Rick held her more tightly; "We'll check it out when we get inside." His boots made the gravel crunch.

He walked up the steps to the screen door, being careful not to bang her feet on anything on the way. "Would you mind openin' the screen for me?" Jenny reached out and pulled it open and he stuck his foot in the door and swung it out. It eased outward and then slowly came back again.

Rick walked over to the leather-stained couch and laid her down on it.

"Now, let me take a look at you."

"Ain't you already looking at me?"

He smiled, "At your hurtin' limbs, I mean. Is it just your foot?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, let me look at it." He gently eased her boot off and then her sock. He examined her foot and then rubbed it slowly, periodically pressing on it tenderly. She moaned and winced when he got to her ankle.

He looked up and whispered, "I'm sorry," He rubbed a few more minutes and then looked up, " Well, I think you just sprained it. It'll be better in a few days."

"Promise?"

He smiled and squeezed her leg, "I promise. What do you think 'bout a cup a tea right about now?"

"Right now?"

"Yes. Why not?"

"Well...we just got back from a bar..."

Rick laughed, "That don't matter...anyway, tea's good for the soul. It's a comfort drink, just like chicken noodle soup a comfort food. You see?"

Jenny smiled and nodded slowly, "Yeah, I guess...you country boys sure have a way a doing things."

He laughed and shrugged, "Well, I can't say that there's any logic to what we do or how we do it."

"Logic can get thrown out the window..."

He laughed, "I agree. Now, you want some tea?"

"Sure, I'd love some tea. What do you want me to do?"

"You mean to help me?"

She nodded.

"Nothin', darlin'."

"Well, there must be something I can do."

"No, ma'am, there's nothin' for you to do. Hell, you're laying there with a sprain and you're wantin' to help me get tea?"

"I can do it..."

"Miss Jenny, I have no doubt that you could do it, but I ain't gonna let you. And hell, you're my guest. What kind of host would I be if I made my guests do the work?"

She shrugged, "Well, 'spose not much a one."

"See?" He patted her leg and winked, "I'll be back after I get the water on the stove."

Jenny smiled and nodded.

"Now," He turned toward her, wagging his index finger, "Don't go running out into the corn field and makin' me go look for you out in the dark."

She laughed, "I won't. Not with the way I'm hurting. You've got a corn field?" "Yes. I'll show it to you tomorrow. And, if you're feeling up to it, maybe we'll play hide and seek. A lot of fun in a corn field."

"Hide and seek?"

"Yep...a variation of it, anyway."

"What kind?"

"You'll see tomorrow, if you want to." He smiled and disappeared into the kitchen.

Jenny closed her eyes and let the sounds of the cabinets opening and closing and the hiss of the kettle on the stove make way to her ears.

"So, when is the grand tour?" She asked.

His gentle, deep voice came back to her, "When do you want it to be?"

"Not tonight."

Rick laughed, "Well, then. It'll be tomorra' morning, bright 'n' early. When the rooster crows."

"You've got a rooster?"

He snickered, "No. Chickens, I've heard, are a whole helluva lot more work than they're worth. I can go to the corner store and get eggs without having to clean up after the chickens that laid 'em. Just the horses and Hal's all I got."

"Hal?"

He walked into the doorway, "My cow dog...except, he don't have any cows to tend to."

"Well, where is he? I want to meet him!"

He laughed, "Aww he's somewhere around here...kinda comes and goes as he pleases. But, he comes back at night to sleep in the barn and then starts up again in the mornin'. A good ol' companion, Hal is."

The tea kettle hissed quietly and Rick held up his hand, "Hold all your thoughts, it's tea-time." And disappeared again. He returned after a few moments with a mug in each hand and handed her one that read life is good, drink it up. She smiled at the inscription and raised the mug, "To life...to happiness...to your home and to you."

He smiled, "To our time together and to this mug a tea." They each took a sip and smacked their lips.

"Would you care to sit here with me?" Jenny asked, patting the couch.

"Yes, ma'am. I'd be much obliged to do just that."

She scooted over, tucking her legs underneath her and he sat down next to her, wincing as his buttocks hit the couch.

"Ow...yeah, my butt's a little bruised or somethin'. Maybe I sprained it."

She laughed as she wrapped her hands around her mug and breathed in the steam that rose from the surface of the hot tea. " I love this..."

"What do you love, darlin'?"

"Tonight. Sittin' with a stranger in his country home, sipping tea. Everything seems so...perfect."

Rick set his mug on the side-table and slipped his boots off. He put his legs on the couch and rested his head on his hand. "Are you uncomfortable, Jenny? Having just met me tonight and sittin' on my couch right now, does that make you uncomfortable? Please, tell me the truth. Because if ya are feelin' uneasy then-''

"No...""Yes, you are, aren't you? Maybe just a little bit..."

She sighed and rubbed her eyes, "How do you do that?"

He furrowed his eyebrows a little, "Do what?"

"Always seem to know what I'm feelin' an' when I'm fibbin' on my feelings a little."

He pursed his lips a little in thought, "You know, I don't really know. If that bothers you though, I'll try not to do it anymore."

She looked at him apologetically, then said, "No, it's alright, I just don't get how you do it. It's like the way...the way folks who've been married for years and years get with each other...but, we just met each other," She smiled softly, rested her head on the back of the couch, and closed her eyes.

His fingers gently touched her hair as he spoke softly, "Maybe God's tryin' to tell us somethin'."

She sighed gently, "Maybe."

"Jenny?"

"Yeah?" Her eyes opened and looked at him.

"You know, it's alright to be a little uncomfortable with me. But, I swear, you don't need to be...I'm jus' an Alabama hick who saw a pretty lady sitting all alone at the bar, gulpin' down a beer. Asked her to dance and figured I mights well try something out...so I asked her to come home with me. I was partly jokin', but a big part a me was serious. And I'm having a great time...even our little mishap in the driveway was alright. Hell, I got a stolen kiss and got to hold ya, as we lay, sprawled on the gravel. What else could a man ask for?"

"More." She peered up at him and smiled shyly.

This stunned Rick, but he did his best to conceal his surprise. "Oh, Jenny...no. I'll only go as far as you want me to go. I'm not that kinda man..."

She slowly nodded her head, took another sip of her tea and set the mug down next to his.

"Hey now, enough with this. Please, would you just strip down to your panties?"

Her eyebrows slowly raised, her head slowly turned toward him, her mouth gapped open, but the thing that gave him a sudden chill was her glare.

He laughed softly and touched her cheek, "I'm teasin' you...I'm just teasin', darlin'."

"I can not believe you...I just...ohhh!"

He smiled, "It fit the moment...I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry, Jen."

She raised her eyebrow, wagging her finger at him. He laughed and took it in his hand and pressed it to his lips. "Oh, your hands are cold. Is the rest of you this cold?"

"Aw, I'm a little cold...but I'll survive."

"Bet you'll have a better chance a survivin' if you had a blanket, hm?"

"Well, yeah. Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

"Yes. You'd surely have a better chance."

"Okay." She smiled up at him.

"I'll be back," He got up and then turned toward her and watched her for a minute.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

He shook his head, "Nothin'...hell, come with me," he held out his hand to her.

When they had made their way to the back hallway, he stopped and turned toward her.

"What is it, Jenny? Why are you so scared to do what we both know you wanna do?"

This sudden lurch into her feelings startled her and she looked at the floor and said nothing. He slowly took her chin and looked deep in her eyes. "I won't hurt you...I understand your feelin's...I understand that you just met me, but I feel a connection between us that's more than...than physical. To me, it's all of 'em. Emotional, mostly. You're a fine woman, I can tell. Can I ask you somethin'?"

She nodded slowly, "Yeah."

"There have been a few times tonight when...when I filled in your sentences for you."

She snorted softly, "Yeah, I know..."

Rick smiled, "Why is that? Why can't you say exactly what you want without skirtin' around the thing? I promise you...I will respect you entirely. Please, darlin' just tell me things..."

"But, I just...I just met you a while ago..."

"I know. I know that. But, the only way we'll get to know each other better, more thoroughly, is if we are open with each other...as open as our comfort level will allow. But..." He laughed quietly, "I'm thinking your comfort level is down to nothing. Is there somethin' that's keepin' you from rising upward? Don't tell me if...it goes above your comfort level." He smiled down at her and winked.

She didn't say anything and then, "Well...I jus'...got my heart broken one too many times, ya know?" "I know...I understand that too. But you need to let go of the past. I hardly know a thing about ya, but I do know that you don't deserve to be wounded for the rest of your life. No one does, Jenny. Just let go of your past hurts. Let go of them. Let go." He pulled her toward him and embraced her, "I know it's hard, but I swear to you, you'll feel a whole helluva lot better if you let go of it all and live your life from this moment on...live it like you've just been born. Start over."

"How's it that you know that if I let go I'll feel better?"

"Because, I've had my share of things and I've had to pick myself up and start over...I've had to let go and start over plenty."

"What if...what if I can't? I've tried without success in the past. Why would this be any different?"

"Maybe the reason you couldn't before is because you didn't know what you were tryin' to get rid of. You need to figure that out, first. Then, and only then can you work on gettin' past it. But, do ya think you can do me a favor?"

"We'll see."

"Can you try to pretend that you've risen above it for the time we have together? Not for me, but for yourself, Jenny. And then, eventually, you'll really be able to mend up your heart and start again."

Jenny laughed, "I don't want to start again...I want to stay in the here and now. I don't want to ever have to shield my heart, my feelings...I don't want to have to shield anything."

"Then don't. Just don't. Let your beauty shine through, let your feelings, your personality...let everything shine bright through." He held onto her and walked to the bedroom.

"Sorry it's so messy." There were jeans on the floor and button down shirts thrown on the bed. The bed was made up, the bedspread pulled neatly up to the headboard, without a crease in it.

"Oh, it's alright. Your bed's made up. More than I did today. "

Rick laughed quietly, sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her down next to him.

"How do I start?"

"How do you start? You start right now, this minute. Tell me something about you, the true you. The Jenny that's deep below the heartbroken woman. Bring her up to the surface. Tell me something-anything- about her."

Jenny Culver sat, staring at the floor for a time. She finally slowly raised her eyes and whispered, "I can't."

"Yes, you can. It doesn't even have to be anything too deep." He took her hand and squeezed it, " Just let me get to know you, Jenny. The real you."

She sighed, "Alright. This is so-''

He interrupted her with a touch to her lips, "It's getting to know each other. It's information, that's all it is...it's like a checklist, almost. But it's so much more than that...it's...bonding." He smiled and touched her cheek, "What's your middle name? Do you have one?"

"Yes...it's Madeline, Jenny Madeline Culver."

"Those are pretty names you've got yourself, missy. Dunn is actually my middle name. It's my last name...Rick Dunn It."

He didn't expect the reaction he got, but when he got it, it made him realize that she had already begun to lose the past in the present. She giggled softly for a minute and then went into hysteria, falling back onto the queen bed. "Rick Dunn It, hm?" She laughed again, "Oh my..."

Rick laughed and lay down next to her, "Nah, I actually don't have a middle name."

"You don't?"

"Nope...pretty weird, hm?"

"No, it's not weird. I just...don't meet too many people who don't have middle names."

"Well, now you have."

She smiled, "I guess so."

"Alright...ask me somethin'."

She cocked her head slightly at him and smiled shyly.

"Yes, come on, Jenny Madeline Culver. Ask me something...anything you want to know. I won't be offended, I promise."

She sat for a minute without saying anything. After a moment of pondering, she asked, "Have you had a wife?"

"Ever?"

"Yes, have you ever had a wife?"

"Yes, I had one but she divorced me five years ago. It was a nasty thing, the divorce. Mostly because of how each of us felt. You'd think that since we didn't have kids, the divorce process would be as easy as learnin' to ride a tricycle. You'd think that you'd just go your separate ways and that'd be that. No, it wasn't like that. The feelin's and emotions that went into it were terrible for both of us. I still loved her dearly but she just couldn't handle the long distance relationship. She told me she couldn't handle me movin' around so much…she couldn't handle the rodeoin'. I guess I could have pointed out to her that she was the one who had instituted the long distance relationship in the first place. But, I didn't. I had dreams when I was a little boy about what my life would be like when I grew up. My dream was that I would marry some cute country girl and live happily ever after on a huge ranch with a huge barn and huge pastures. I wanted to be a bull rider, win big bucks like I'd seen my daddy do. I used to go to every rodeo with him and watch him compete. He was good at what he did and I wanted to be just as good. I wanted to be like my daddy. But, life threw me a curve ball when I met Wendy, my wife. She was the cute country girl I had dreamed about...so I married her when I was 17…a week after my birthday in fact. I got her pregnant homecoming night, but I didn't know until anyone could tell that her belly was bigger than it had ever been. That was when she told me, when she could no longer hide it. I was scared as hell...I mean I was only 17. Just a damned kid myself, how was I gonna raise one? Well, I didn't have to...Wendy had a miscarriage. That broke her heart and seeing her that way was somethin' I couldn't bear. I left and didn't come back for a month or more," Rick paused, "I remember writin' her a note saying that I was leavin' for a while, that I couldn't bear the pain of seein' her like this everyday. Told her that I loved her and that I'd be back when I got my head on straight. Well...when I finally came back she had moved away...to Colorado, I think. She wrote me letters almost everyday telling me that she understood how I must be feelin' and that she still loved me, but that she just needed to get away from it all, from this place where her baby had never been born. I wrote back sayin' that it was alright, that she needed to do what she needed to do in order to pick up the pieces and move on. This letter exchangin' went on for a few more years and then she filed for divorce. Just like that, I got the papers. I wrote her and asked her why. That's all I asked, because that's all I wanted to know. She told me that our relationship was silly, that it was weird to have a long distance relationship with nothin' but letters being passed around. That was it, that was her answer to my question, and I guess that was alright. I didn't lay eyes on her again until the divorce hearin'. She looked good. Hell, she looked great. We signed the papers, did what we needed to do, hugged and kissed for the last time and parted ways. Haven't heard from her since than."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. After all, look who's layin' on my bed because Wendy left me." He smiled at her and eased down next to her.

She slid slowly closer to him, took his hat off and pressed her face to his neck. Rick slid his arm around her and closed his eyes.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"A little bit, yeah."

"Let's go see what we can find."

She sat up slowly, "Alright."

"Probably not much of a gourmet meal, but hope it's alright for you."

Jenny laughed, "It'll be fine."

Rick looked at her tight jeans and smiled, "You wanna change into somethin' a little more comfortable? Those don't look too comfy. Don't get me wrong, they're sexy as hell, just probably not all that comfy, hm?"

"You're right...but, I don't have anything to change into."

"I've got an entire closet full of things ta wear. Here, let's go see." He took her hand and walked with her to his closet, picking up jeans and shirts and socks along the way and throwing them in the bamboo hamper. He flipped a light switch and illuminated a dark green walk-in closet. He walked deep into the closet and grabbed a pair of fleece pants.

"Ohhh, I see you're no cowboy when you're at home." She winked.

"Well, now...even a cowboy's gotta have some comfy clothes," He unfolded the pants and held them up to her. "Whoa...you'll have ta roll these up a bit." He smiled and handed them to her. "There ya are, missy. You can change in the bathroom across the hall, in the bedroom...hell, if you really want you can change in here."

"I'll change in the bathroom."

"Alright."

"Where do you want me to put my jeans?"

Rick shrugged, "Anywhere you want ta. Do you want to borrow a shirt, too?"

"No, I'm alright, thanks."

"Alright then. I'll be in the kitchen...did you see where it was?"

Jenny smiled, "Yeah, I did."

"Okay, when you're done, just come out and show me how big those are on ya." Rick winked and Jenny followed him out of the closet.

"I'll change in the bathroom, is that okay?"

He smiled, "I told you it was."

"I know, but-''

"It's fine. Go change in the bathroom."

Rick walked down the hallway and looked over his shoulder. Seeing that she was still standing there with the pants clutched in her hand, he shook his head, "It's a crime, what you're doin' to me, darlin'." And then he disappeared through the kitchen.

Jenny stood in the middle of the bathroom with the door closed, eyeing the décor and the contents on the shelves. There was a dark blue bath towel hanging on the towel rack and a matching hand towel lying on the counter. There was a pencil drawing of a mustang hanging on the wall near the bathtub. She stepped closer to the sink, taking a quick glance at the door. She slowly, carefully opened the cabinet above the sink and its contents spilled out. She cursed under her breath as she heard a quick rap on the bathroom door and then, "Are you okay, Jenny?"

"Yeah, I'm alright." She stared at the door until she heard his footfalls begin to descend back down the hallway. She cursed again as she opened the cabinet wider and began to put the contents back, glancing at the labels as she set them on the shelf. Aspirin...an electric shaver...a tin can of shaving cream and a flat tin who's label couldn't be read. Jenny peered at the flat container in her hand and then carefully began to unscrew the lid. Chewing tobacco, she thought. But, then why would anyone store chewing tobacco in his medicine cabinet? To her relief it did not have the texture nor the stiff smell of tobacco. In the container was a glossy black paste. She held it to her nose, but when she heard a noise, she jumped, inadvertently smudging her nose with the black paste. She cursed again and rubbed her nose in front of the mirror, only making the smear worse. She frantically grabbed a square of toilet tissue and dampened it under the faucet. She rubbed it over the smudge until her nose was red and stinging. The black color weakened but never left. She jammed the lid back onto the container and placed it back in the cabinet. She yanked her jeans off and the fleece pants on, rolling up the cuffs three times. She looked again at the smudge on her nose, prayed that Rick wouldn't notice it and left the bathroom.

To her disappointment, it was the second thing he noticed. "Oh, the pants sure do look comfy...are they?"

"Yeah, they are. Thank you..."

Rick smiled, "You're welcome." He squinted his eyes and laughed, "What is that on your nose? Am I seeing things?"

Jenny touched her nose and shrugged, "I don't know," She lied. "What's there?"

"I don't know...come closer, let me see."

She came closer and his eyes scrutinized her small nose and he shook his head. He rubbed her nose softly and peered at his fingers, gently rubbing them together. He laughed, "What the hell did you mess with in there?"

She looked at the floor, shuffling her feet slowly across it, "Well, I..." She laughed, realizing her mistake, "I was..."

"What? Tell me, please. I snoop all the time; I think everyone does. It's my leather polish, that's what it is."

She froze. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart stopped and she froze. "Is it really?" She asked quietly.

"Yes, ma'am, it is." He smiled, "Aw, I caught ya, you snoop! And just what were you doin' snooping around in my medicine cabinet? Find anythin' interestin'? Unused condoms, maybe...oh...wait...I keep those in my nightstand drawer." He laughed at her gasp and at the drop of her mouth.

She smacked his arm, "That is terrible! Terribly...wrong is what it is!"

"Oh, I know. I'm sorry. But, I couldn't resist. And, by the way, I don't have any condoms, unused or otherwise."

"What? You prefer...what?"

"The real thing...everything natural, you know. No rubber to get in the way."

Jenny laughed and Rick caught the nervousness that lay underneath the beautiful sound.

"Am I making you nervous, Ms. Madeline?"

She shook her head and ran her hand through her hair. "Nah...nah, you're not."

"Are you sure?"

She didn't say anything for a moment and then she said, "Yes, I'm sure..."

"I'm sorry if I made you uneasy. I didn't mean to...that was not my intention."

She smiled and suddenly her fingertips were touching his cheek, "I know. It's alright. Thank you for this, Rick."

"For what, Jen? Do you mind if I call you Jen?"

She smiled and shook her head, "No. For giving me an opportunity to finally...to finally feel wanted. I know I've just met you, but...you make me feel so...I don't know." Her shoulders lifted and dropped helplessly, "So good."

"Good. I'm glad I can get another chance to make a woman feel good."

"Rick..."

He looked at her with concern, "What is it, Jenny?"

"Are you still hurting?"

"No...no, I've gotten past it all. It hurt like hell at first, I didn't think I could go on without her, but after awhile, I realized that I could. I realized that I was stronger than I gave myself credit for." He paused, "I think everyone is emotionally stronger than they give themselves credit for. We don't realize that if we must move on, we will...no matter how hard it is, we will. Because we're all survivors, you see?"

She thoughtfully, almost whimsically whispered, "Yes."

He wrapped his arms around her, "Every one of us is…you, Jenny, are too. Do you believe that?"

"I...I don't know that I do or not."

"And that's alright. That's perfectly fine right now."

Rick held onto Jenny, breathing in her sweet perfume. He believed that this would pass, that she would let go of her hurts and become his closest friend. His newfound country girl, perhaps. She was hurting, he could tell. Hurting to the point where she didn't really trust that there were men out there who wanted to treat her right. She did not believe that some men wanted to treat her like a princess, if they could. She simply believed that all men were monsters. She believed that all men hurt women, emotionally and maybe physically. And he hoped that he could help her get over her fears. To Rick Dunn, she was already his little country princess. He already had feelings for her. He didn't know whether that was good or whether it was bad. He didn't really care.

"Jen, I want to help you." He kissed the top of her head and rocked her slowly in his arms. "I want to become your friend and help you get over your pain. You're hurtin', Jenny. Aren't you, sweetheart?" Rick heard a quiet sniff and he looked down and saw a teardrop land on the bedspread. Her voice came out soggy between chokes of tears.

"I don't know what to do!"

He lifted her chin up and peered into her puffy, red eyes. "You don't need to do anything but sit here with me for awhile. I want to ask you somethin', Jenny." He saw her balk, her eyes frantically searching his face. "No, no. Look into my eyes...it's alright. I promise. I just want to know if you trust me. Do you trust me?"

"I don't know. I can't answer that. I don't know. I don't know if I trust you."

"Sure you can answer it. You do know, darlin'. What is your first intuition? Am I trustworthy to you? It's alright to tell me the truth. If you don't think I am, than please tell me. I want to know what you think. I won't get angry no matter what your answer is."

"Yes...I mean I want to trust you. I do. And my first instinct is to trust you, because you seem like a trustworthy enough man...but there's...there's a part of me that...well, that won't trust you."

"Okay. Now, why is there that part of you that won't trust me? Is it that that part of you also can't trust me...or maybe any man?"

"Yes."

"What?"

" 'Can't' is actually a better word than won't. I would...if I could, you know?"

"Yes, I know. Is it just me or is it any man?" He paused, "Do you want me to tell you what my feeling is?"

"Yes."

"I don't think your mind or your heart will allow you to really, truly trust any man. Does that sound about right?"

"Perfectly right, I think. But that's the thing, Rick. I don't really know."

"I know you don't, honey. I know. That's what I'm tryin' to help you find out. And when you figure that out, then I'm goin' to help you get past it."

Jenny Culver lay in Rick's arms, saying nothing. She sighed, "Can we stop talking about this? Please, Rick?"

He smiled above her and nodded, "Yeah, of course we can. You exhausted?"

"A little bit, yeah."

Rick leaned down and closed his eyes against her neck and whispered into her ear, "Okay, lets go see what we can find to eat then you can rest up. Are you still hungry?"

"Yes."

"Let's go out to the kitchen. Do you like candles?"

"Oh, I love candles."

"Good! I've got some. We can light 'em if you'd like to." He slipped his arm underneath her and picked her up.

"Oh my," She laughed nervously, "Uhh...can you do this?"

He laughed, "I ain't a feeble old man yet!" He walked down the hallway, careful not to bump her feet against the wall.

"Hold me careful now," She said, " Don't let me...go."

"Oh, I won't. Ever. I'll never let you go."

Jenny held on tighter around his neck, leaning her head against his shoulder. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and he closed his eyes.

"Jenny?"

"Yes, Rick?"

Kiss me. Let me hold you forever. Let me mend your broken heart. Be my little country girl...forever. Instead, he simply said,"Do you want some coffee?"

"That would be great."

"Alright, coffee and stuff comin' right up."

She giggled sleepily, "Stuff, huh?"

"Yes, ma'am. Whatever we find in the cabinets and refrigerator. I mean the things that the rats haven't torn up already..."

"Aw, that's nasty!"

"It is, ain't it? I've been trying to get the damn things out... set traps everywhere. So, just be careful where you step...or set your hand. I wouldn't want your pretty little fingers being gnawed!" He picked up her hand and kissed the tops of her fingers.

"You're teasing me, right? You really don't have rats, do you, Rick?" Her nervous, quiet voice almost made him laugh, but it also almost broke his heart.

"No, Jenny. Darling, I don't have any rats in the house."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, no...I'm not totally sure, but I'm pretty sure."

Jenny was quiet for a thoughtful moment, "Okay."

"You scared of rats?"

"Well, I don't much like them. They're nasty things."

"Yes, they are," He laughed, "I won't argue with that! So, Ms. Culver, you scared of anything?"

A wordless moment passed between them, "Yes, I am."

"What are you scared of?"

"Being in the dark alone."

Somehow, for a reason that Rick couldn't come up with, this touched him. This touched him deeply and what he did next was something that he didn't regret, ever. For this one little thing would change his relationship with Jennifer Madeline Culver forever and for the best, Rick thought. He pulled her closer to him, until their noses barely touched, and he kissed her. It was a soft, gentle kiss. He closed his eyes and savored it. As soft and gentle as it was, it was just as quick. Within a time that Rick could not believe, her soft lips were being carefully peeled away from his tender outreach of warmth. Looped in his arms, Jenny stood motionless and stunned.

"There's no need to be scared of the dark anymore, Jenny. I'm here with you now." His voice came to her as if through a tunnel, distant and soothing.

CHAPTER TWO

Jenny was groggy with sleep as the sunlight sparkled its dappled rays on the pullout sofa bed. The screen of the TV was still blue from the movie the night before. She snuggled closer to him, lifting his hand and letting it rest on her side. He moaned, still deep in sleep. His boots were tossed carelessly on the floor and his brown hat was lying neatly upside down on the side table. She looked at his features more closely, as he lay, quietly sleeping. His lips were the faint shape of a heart, smooth and full. His eyelashes were long and beautiful. Jenny noticed that he had a small indentation on his chin and a light brown freckle on his neck, just below his perfect jaw-line. And she saw the faint, jagged line of a scar running across his thick shoulder. Imperfection, she realized, was even more attractive than perfection. It gave him a lovely rough, rugged look.

Rick's eyes fluttered open and peered, unfocused and dazed at Jenny. She smiled down at him, "Morning, sunshine."

He sighed, "Mornin'. How long have you been awake?"

"Aw, not too long. I've just been watching you sleep."

He let out a tiny, tired laugh. "Watchin' me sleep? Didn't know I was that interesting when I slept."

"You sleep so soundly...and you're beautiful."

Rick's eyes were closed as he sighed softly and pulled her closer. "God, I'm tired. Don't know if I'll be able to do anything but sleep today. I'm sorry, Jen," He whispered.

Jenny, without realizing what she was doing, suddenly leaned over and brushed her lips against his. Although he moaned softly, his lips didn't respond; he was dozing off and barely felt her lips. She laid her head in the crook of his arm, closed her eyes and slipped back into light sleep.

The next time she woke, the bed was cold and empty beside her. She lay still for a time, while her body woke up, ready for the day. She was aware of the sweet, homey smells wafting in from the kitchen. Good, she thought, he cooks. And as if on cue, Rick walked in with a plate heaped with hash browns, scrambled eggs, sausage, pancakes and a small pile of something that Jenny had never seen, but which looked delicious.

"Good morning. Do you like home-made breakfasts?"

She laughed, "You didn't have to make breakfast for me!"

"I didn't? Hell..." He tilted his face up to the ceiling and groaned. When she saw his eyes again, they, along with his mouth were smiling wide. "I know I didn't have to. But, I wanted to. Now," He set his tray down carefully on the side table and waved his hand across it. He cleared his throat, winked and then said, "I would like to take this moment to present to you, Ms. Jenny Culver, your breakfast. Home-cooked with my expertise...and now, for the tour of the different food items. Here we have hash browns, lightly golden, but surely not burnt. I sincerely hope not, anyhow. And next to that, the eggs. Scrambled and again not burnt, but instead simply…cooked. And see that on top of 'em? That, my dear, is my special blend of seasonings. And two pieces of hickory-style sausage, tasty stuff. Two pancakes, which, I will admit, I did not make from scratch. I made them out of a box…this cook is a man, after all, missy. And last but hopefully not least is this little delicacy, right here. Do you know what this is?" He smiled and raised his eyebrows.

She laughed and shook her head, "No, will you tell me?"

"Oh, of course! This, my friend, is called hash. It's fairly simple but tremendously delicious. All you need to make it is…well, refrigerator stuff. Anything that makes you happy will make this dish happy...within reason, of course. This hash, right here, is made with potato squares-and most hashes are-shredded beef, and the green in it is green onion and again, it's toped with my special seasonin's. And now that you know what everythin' is, please, dig in. I made sure that everything was steaming hot before I brought it out here...because I knew that I was going to give you this terrific tour." He laughed, knowing how foolish he sounded and loving it because he could see how humorous she found it.

Jenny took a tiny bite of the pancakes and he took the fork from her, shaking his head and clicking his tongue with disapproval. "No, no, no...not little tiny baby bites. Big bites, to get the full flavor and effect, you see? Like this," He scooped up a heaping bite-full of hash and raised his eyebrow, "You daring? C'mon, open wide!"

Jenny laughed and shook her head, "No, I can't open my mouth that wide!"

"Open it as wide as you can, let's see."

She did and he put the fork into her mouth. "See? You can open your mouth that wide! What do you think of that stuff, hm? Tasty?"

She nodded, her cheeks bulging out like a chipmunk that's just stuffed five acorns into its mouth.

He laughed softly, "You look like a chipmunk…a very cute chipmunk."

Jenny giggled and then laughed with her mouth still full.

"Stop, you'll choke and die right here in my living room! I couldn't stand to see that! You must stop laughin', you hear? That's an order, miss!"That only got her laughing more.

"Okay," Rick got up off the bed and walked into the kitchen, "I'll go over here so you can get control of your laughter long enough to swallow." He laughed. She giggled for a few minutes longer and then she quieted down and said, "Alright, I think I'm done...will you come back?"

He reappeared in the doorway, "Of course I will! Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath and let out a short bit of laughter, "Yes, yes, I'm alright. I'm okay now."

Rick laughed and touched her knee, "Okay, eat what you want to on your plate. You don't need to finish it all, if you don't want. I won't spank you or anything. But, I want to take you somewhere."

"Where?"

He smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, "You'll see. I need to clean up the kitchen and take a shower. Just make yourself at home."

"Thank you."

Rick stopped in the doorway and with his cowboy hat and boots in his hands, he smiled, "My pleasure, Jen."

CHAPTER THREE

"Why are you getting all fancied up?" She looked at the clothes in his hands.

"I'm not...just a little more so than last night." He explained as he brushed past her and into the bathroom, smiling broadly at her as he closed the door.

"Oh," Jenny said to the empty room. She sat on his bed with her jeans and shirt in her lap, too dazed to begin getting into them. She heard the shower turn on.

After a few minutes, the shower went off and she heard his laughter, "I don't hear any movement, doll. Are you getting dressed?"

She smiled down at the clothes in her lap and slowly replied, "No, but I'm getting there."

"Hurry up! You'll make us late!"

"For what?"

He laughed again, "I'm not tellin'...just get changed." The shower started up again.

She sighed and slowly began to undress.

The door of the bathroom suddenly opened and Jenny, in her plain bra and matching underwear, could do nothing but stare at his handsomeness. He let out an embarrassed gasped and quickly covered his eyes, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry." He turned away. She did nothing to cover herself. Then, suddenly, as if being snapped out of a trance, she hurriedly stuffed her legs into the jeans, slamming the bedroom door shut with her elbow.

"I'll be out in a minute," She called.

He thought it better not to mention anything of the embarrassing moment that had just occurred. "Don't worry about your hair too much. It looks gorgeous even without a shower. Just run a brush through it and it'll be alright."

Jenny smiled and nodded, "Okay." She did what he said and opened the door.

"Just as beautiful as when I first laid eyes on you," He said.

"I guess I would be since I'm wearing the exact same outfit."

He laughed, "Well, it's a perfect outfit for where we're goin'."

"Where are we going? Please tell me. I won't tell...just tell me...please, please?"

Rick laughed and placed his fingers gently to her lips, "Shh...you're too adorable when you beg, but I still ain't goin' to tell you. Just come with me and you'll see soon enough." He pulled his boots on and grabbed his hat.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Alright, let's go." He opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch, his boots clicking on the boards. "Would you close the door for me, please?"

She did and he opened the truck door for her and the truck groaned in protest when he turned the key, but it didn't start. He sighed and tried again and this time, it caught. He gunned the engine, smiled and tipped his hat to her as she made her way to the passenger side and hopped in.

"I love your hat." She commented when she was inside and ready to go.

"Oh, you do, huh?"

"Yes, I do."

"Thank you. I love your body." It was out and gone before he could grab it back. He cursed himself silently because of how cheap that sounded. And he wasn't a cheap man. He was well liked by women for his soft mannered ways and his slowness when beginning a relationship. He never forced anything on women, he let them tell him how far to go and what they felt comfortable with and he never went past that point. But, he'd blown it with this one comment. And he had sworn that he wouldn't even hint at the incident that occurred in the bedroom, and he had! He'd let his mannish ways get the better of him! He cursed himself over and over again for it in the split second before she said anything.

"Do you?"

This was getting worse and worse. He cursed himself again and, hoping this would recover him from his blunder, he said, "Well, all women are beautiful. They just have this...beauty about them that I can never help but notice. And I...just thought 'What the hell? Why not tell the woman sitting in your truck just how lovely she is?'" He shrugged, as if it was totally natural for him, as if it was perfectly normal for a man to study the beauty of a woman, both her inner and outer beauty.

But, as they drove down the dirt road, he thought more about it. He decided that it was normal enough. Maybe it wasn't perfectly normal, but it was as normal as taking a stranger to your house and then cooking breakfast for her. It was as normal as most people got. No one is perfectly normal. That would be boring, he thought.

"We're going to the rodeo?" Jenny asked as they pulled into the lot.

Rick smiled over at her. The dirt lot was already filled with pick-up trucks and an assortment of horse trailers. Horses stood, tied to trailers, their nervous, high-pitched whinnies coming across the parking lot. People in cowboy hats hurried around, calling to each other, throwing tack on their horses.

"You ready for this, Dunn?"

Rick looked around, trying to find the source. He spun around on his heel and looked into the face of Travis Nichols.

Rick clapped him on the shoulder and pulled him into an embrace.

"How you been, Nichols?"

"Doing okay, ready as hell to win this thing!"

Rick laughed and took Jenny's hand, "This is Jenny Culver, Travis. She's come to see the rodeo with me today."

"Oh, yeah? You're in for a treat, Jenny! Rick here, he's gonna-"

"I'm gonna cheer on the bull riders, damn right!"

"Hell yeah!"

Jenny laughed, feeling oddly comfortable around Rick's friend.

"He told me he was a bull rider," She turned to Rick, "Why aren't you goin' to compete today?"

"You'll see..."

"He's the best damned bull-rider in the state of Alabama, girly!"

Rick laughed, "Listen, Travis, we've got to go find us a good seat...is the bull riding the first event? It is, ain't it?"

"Yeah, always is."

"Thought so..."

"So, you really ain't competing?"

"I'm going to show this lady what a real rodeo's like, Nichols."

Travis Nichols laughed and nodded, "Okay!" Then to Jenny he said, "You be careful now. Rick's a hard one to handle!"

"Aw, I'll be fine. He's not too bad..."

"Oh, but you haven't seen him at one a these things."

Jenny laughed and glanced at Rick, who smiled at her and winked.

"Come on, Jen." He pulled at her hand, "Let's go find a seat. This punk's bein'...well, he's bein' a punk-assed cowboy like the rest of us."

Travis punched Rick's shoulder playfully and Rick came at him with his fist raised, "Damn you, boy…you're gonna get it in the arena! You're gonna pay!"

Travis laughed and walked back over to the bewildered Jenny and took her hand, "Well, miss Jenny, it was a pleasure to meet you. Watch for me in the bull riding competition!"

"I will. Good luck with it."

Rick laughed at Jenny, "Aw c'mon now. Let's go!"

They parted ways and Travis turned and called after Rick, "Hey, Rick!" Rick stopped and turned, ready for what was about to be said. "Good luck with...finding a seat! The best of wishes to you! I love ya, man!"

Rick smiled, tipped his hat and then raised his hand in a wave.

They found a spot in the front row bleachers. Rick squeezed Jenny's shoulder and said, "I'll be back in a few minutes, alright?" He smiled, brushing his lips across her cheek. He stepped over outstretched Wrangler jeans and glanced back at Jenny as he disappeared out into the dusty open.

CHAPTER FOUR

"Where'd your cowboy go?" The man sitting next to Jenny asked.

"I don't know," She replied, "He's been gone quite awhile. I-''

The announcer's voice boomed throughout the stands, "Ladies and gents! You ready for some good ol' fashioned rodeo? Yes! Let's get on down to business, folks. Our tradition here at Alabama's hottest rodeo, for those first-timers out there in the stands is bull riding. It's always the first and most exciting event of the whole damn rodeo! And breaking tradition would be a crime. So, without any further delay, please welcome our most esteemed bull-ridin' champion. This cowboy knows how to ride! He's the second generation of bull-riders in his family and we're all hoping there'll be a third! Alabama's own...Rick Dunn!

Jenny straightened as the stands erupted into roars of applause. She laughed in disbelief. "Oh...that's him!"

"That him, eh? He's damn good..." The man commented.

"...He'll be on Demon, our most fearsome bull. Good luck, Mr. Dunn!"

The stands were quiet as people waited. The wait seemed like an eternity when suddenly the gate flew open and the clock began. The crowd erupted again as the clock wound down to five...to three... The buzzer sounded and Rick landed on the dusty arena floor.

"TIME! Folks, Rick Dunn has done it again-"

There were gasps of horror as the bull called Demon ran toward Rick. Its hooves pounded the ground just shy of his head. The arena staff waved their hats at the animal as their muffled yells of panic rose to the bleachers.

The bull quieted. Its eyes moved slowly across the arena, but just for a moment. It finally stepped back and turned to walk the other way. Then suddenly it snorted and turned back. It pawed at the ground and snorted again, mist escaping from its nostrils in a gust that Rick seemed to be able to feel. For the first time in his career, the man was stricken with fear, unable to move. Unable, it seemed, to even breathe.

The beast charged toward Rick and its horns gored into him. There was a sharp, indescribable pain. His arm rose slowly toward the crowd as the warm sensation of blood seeped across his chest. Rick Dunn's world blurred and then blackened.

l l l

"Ma'am, you'll have to stay back."

"Please, I need to go! Let me go with him!"

"Miss, we can't do that...please, step back."

"No, you don't understand! I know him!"

"Lots of people know him. We can't let you go in the ambulance."

Jenny wretched free of the man's grasp and ran to the back of the ambulance, where Rick was lying on a stretcher, his eyes closed, and a mask over his mouth and nose. A thick blanket was lying across his upper body.

"We need to get him outta here!" The paramedic called to the driver.

Jenny grabbed Rick's hand and squeezed it. His eyes opened slightly and he squeezed her hand hard, reassuringly.

Through the mask, she heard, "I'll be...okay."

"I want to go with you," She whispered.

The paramedic came up behind her, "Look, if you want him alive for much longer, you'll have to leave so we can get him out of here."

"Please, just let me go...damn it, please!"

The mask rose slowly off Rick's face. Eyes turned toward him and waited in silent amazement.

He began slowly, with tremendous effort, "Stop…being…an ass," He stopped there, -though everyone knew that he wasn't done- and closed his eyes.

After what seemed a lifetime, he continued, "And let…her…go." With that, Rick's hand allowed the mask to snap back into place, and he took a deep intake of oxygen.

The paramedic rolled his eyes and said, "Get in! Through this door, right here. Hurry up!"

l l l

The ambulance sped along the highway, its wailing cry piercing Jenny's ears. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks streaked with salty, drying tears.

"He'll be alright." The man sitting by her was the second paramedic on call. He reassured her in a soft voice, his kind eyes watching her with concern.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Well...we're not totally sure, but I think he'll be okay."

She nodded and took Rick's hand again. She felt his fingers squeeze weakly and she looked up to see him watching her. She leaned closer and caressed his damp forehead, whispering, "I'm sorry, Rick. I'm so sorry."

His eyes closed again, she saw his head move from side to side, very slowly. His fingers tightened on her hand and he took a quivering deep breath, his body arching at the pain that shot through him. He whispered in a barely audible voice, "No...don't be sorry...don't..."

The paramedic checked the machines and then said, "Try not to talk too much, Rick. It's taking a lot of energy out of you...but you'll be alright, okay? You'll be fine."

Jenny felt the ambulance slow and she looked at the paramedic, who nodded, "We're at the hospital. You're going to have to stay out in the waiting room until he comes out of the ER."

"The ER?" She rasped, "The emergency room?"

He nodded solemnly, "Yes." That was the only explanation she got.

The back doors opened suddenly and a swarm of hospital employees were in the opening. Rick's gurney was pulled out carefully and hurriedly pushed through the automatic doors. Jenny ran to keep up, asking a million questions to which the only answers were yells at fellow emergency personnel. She finally slowed to a stop and watched as he was wheeled through a set of swinging doors.

The paramedic who had sat with her on the ride over softly called her name. He was bent over a clipboard in front of a reception desk and as he looked up, his face was solemn and drawn.

"That is your name, right?" He asked.

Jenny nodded and tried to smile.

"Good. I'm Dr. Lucas Banks. You can call me Lucas."

When he got nothing in return but a blank stare, he continued, "Well, Jenny, he'll be in the ER for quite awhile, so, if you want to leave and come back later…you can do that."

Jenny shook her head, "No. Tell me what's going on with him."

"Well, we don't exactly know..."

"Tell me what you do know!" She was suddenly furious. How could they do this to her? Not tell her a thing?

The doctor looked up from the clipboard in surprise and said, "Let's go sit down over there." He nodded at a cluster of cushioned chairs.

She followed and sat down across from him.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled, "I just..."

"I know, Jenny. It's alright. We'll have to wait for a while before we know anything of significance. But, if you don't mind...I'd like to know how you know Rick."

"What the hell does that matter?"

"I know it sounds like a strange question to be asking you now, but...he doesn't have a wife. There's no ring on that finger...so, are you his girl friend or what? I guess what I'm really trying to find out is why you wanted so badly to go with him...in the ambulance."

"Because I care about him, that's why!"

Lucas Banks sat forward in the chair and folded his hands together. "Jenny...are you...are you just one of his fans?"

She laughed bitterly and said nothing.

"Because if you are...if you have no other relationship with him, than...well, you can't sign the forms, which means we can't do anything with him. We can't operate without consent from someone in the family or a close relation." "Why the hell not! What the hell is this! What if some guy comes in here that doesn't have anyone? What are ya gonna do? Not give him damned treatment because he doesn't have anyone to sign the goddamned forms!"

"Jenny, please..."

"No! Give me the damned forms!"

"Are you his girlfriend?" The doctor blurted before she could yell again.

She sat still for a moment and then said, "Yes. Yes, I am. Now will you let me fill out the forms? Jesus!"

He handed her the forms and she stared at them. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and sniffed softly. "Damn it," She muttered. A tear escaped and landed on the top page, making a damp circle. Jenny slowly, with a quivering hand, began to write Rick's name on the form. After a few minutes she looked up and said between sobs, "I need a new form."

Dr. Lucas Banks reached out and snatched the form from her fingers, uncaring and cold.

"Damn you!" She cried. "Don't you care about anything! Don't you care! He's in the ER with a hole through his chest and you don't even care!"

"Jenny..."

"Don't! Give me another form, damn it! Now!"

The nurses looked in the direction of the commotion with curiosity and unease. Lucas slowly walked over to the desk and picked up another form. As he came back to her he handed it to her slowly and said, "We have tissues on the table there."

"I want to see him." She stated in a controlled tone.

"Jenny," Lucas laughed softly, "He's in surgery. You have to wait till he's out and in his room."

"You aren't telling me anything! Tell me something! Damn you to hell!" She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath and suddenly a sob escaped her throat.

"Jenny, I don't know much more about his condition than you do. I-"

"Well, give me someone who does know something!"

Lucas sighed and sat down next to her, lightly putting his hand on her knee. She jerked away and said, "Don't dare touch me. Tell me something!" She cried out and then quietly said, "Please..."

A man in a white lab coat walked up and glared at Lucas and said, "I'll take it from here, Dr. Banks."

Lucas glanced up and quickly got up and disappeared.

"Ms. Culver, I'm Dr. Robert Johnson. I am the head surgeon taking care of your husband."

Jenny was about to correct the doctor, but decided to let it go. She didn't care. She felt so close to Rick at this moment that she felt like his wife.

"Jenny, Rick's condition is critical. He won't be out of surgery for a while... Luckily, his most vital organ, his heart, is fine. But, his left lung is punctured and he is bleeding internally. He will have to stay here overnight and possibly longer for observation. Jenny, he may have to stay here as long as six weeks, just so we can make sure he'll be okay. But, I want to assure you that if the surgery goes as planned, he'll be alright...he won't die...if the surgery goes well."

"And if not?" She whispered.

"Well...we'll deal with that if it occurs. But, in the meantime, you need to go get some rest."

"I want to see him...when will I be able to see him?"

"When the surgery's done and he's in recovery, I'll let you see him. But go get some rest."

"My-his truck...well, I don't have anything to get me home. I rode over in the ambulance..."

"Do you have anyone that can come pick you up?"

"No, I don't..."

"Hmmm...well..."

"I'll take her." Jenny looked up and saw Travis Nichols standing there.

She smiled gratefully at him.

Dr. Johnson looked up in alarm and said, "Umm...Ms. Culver, do you know this man?"

"Yes. I do," She walked over to Travis and he held out his hand, which she took. She needed all the comfort she could get.

Dr. Johnson peered at Travis and then said, "Okay, well, I'll give you a call when you can come and see him. Can I have your number? Or is it on the forms?"

"I didn't fill the forms out." She gave him her cell-phone number.

Johnson scrawled it down on a slip of paper and stuffed it in the pocket of his lab coat.

She smiled and stuck out her hand, which Dr. Johnson took and she said quietly, "Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome, Ms. Culver. He'll be alright."

She looked at him and then said quietly, "You don't know that." And with that she and Travis were gone.

CHAPTER FIVE

"He won."

Jenny looked over at Travis, not sure if she heard him, "What?"

"You heard me right. Rick won the damned bull ridding competition!" Travis let out a whoop of laughter.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'm dead serious!"

"Well, how do you know?"

"I heard people-other competitors-talkin'...they're proud of him. Hell, everyone's proud of him, I think. I mean..." Travis sighed, "I mean...aw hell, just...I mean he's got a hole the size of Antarctica in his chest-"

"Don't say that, Travis. Shit, what are ya trying to do? You know just as well as I do that it's not as bad as...as the doctors aren't telling us. But then, maybe it is. Maybe...maybe that's why no one is saying anything to us. Why nobody's telling us how he's doing, because he's doing so bad that...that people don't want anyone to know-"

"Jenny, stop it. Please, just stop."

"You're the one that should stop! Stop making this seem worse than it-"

"Jenny, please. We don't know how bad it is." Travis laughed, "Imagine, all this bickerin' because I told ya that Rick won his competition."

A quivering, tear-filled sigh escaped Jenny and she said, "I'm sorry, Travis. I didn't mean to be like that to you, to lash out like I did. I'm just going crazy...I don't know him at all and I'm acting as though I've known him for years. I'm acting as if he's my husband and I'm his-" She stopped abruptly and stared out the dusty window of Travis' truck. After a few moments of quiet, Travis slapped the heel of his hand on the wheel suddenly, making Jenny jump.

"Where you wanna go?" Travis sat in the driver seat of his truck with his hands on the wheel.

"Well, I guess I'll go back and get Rick's truck and take it back to his house..."

"Okay. Do you want me to come with ya?"

She looked at him and asked in a quiet, quivering voice, "Do you mind? I need to make sure his dog's fed and make sure his door is locked..." Her voice faltered and she broke down, leaning her head in her hands and sobbing great, heavy sobs. "Why'd this have to happen? Travis...I...love him."

Travis sat still, looking straight ahead, unable to think of what to say.

"Why the hell aren't we moving?"

Travis looked over at her with surprise and quickly turned the key and stepped hard on the gas, making the wheels spin out.

"I'm sorry, Travis. I just...I just don't know what to do."

"I know ya don't...he was my best friend, Jenny. Hell, what am I saying? I'm actin' as though he's already dead!" Travis laughed quietly, sniffed and wiped a tear off his cheek. "Where the hell are we goin' again?"

Jenny laughed soggily and said, "Back to his truck."

"Oh, right. Damn, Jenny...I sure hope he gets through this alright. I know I ain't being much help to you or nothing and I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I just-"

"No, Travis, it's alright. Hey, hey...turn right here."

Travis laughed softly, "Oh, right...I'm going nuts."

"It's okay, Travis. I think he'll be okay."

"Damn it! He's a survivor...he always tells me to buck up and survive if I'm havin' a tough time."

Jenny smiled, remembering the night before.

"Well, here you go, missy. I'll follow you in case something goes wrong. Or maybe it'd be better for me to lead?" "Yeah, lead, please."

"Okay, do you know how to drive stick?"

She smiled, "Yeah, I do."

"Alright. Where are his keys?"

"Under the visor, I think."

Travis laughed and shook his head, "He always does that. Puts the keys under the visor and doesn't lock the damned door...inviting someone to take off with his clunker. I keeps on tellin' him to take the damned keys out of the truck when he gets out...doesn't pay any attention though." Travis laughed and wiped at his face, "Someday he'll keep the keys in there and someone will drive off with it!"

Jenny smiled and leaned over and gave Travis a hug. "It's alright, Travis."

"I know it is...I know. I jus'...hell, take the truck. I'll lead, you follow. Don't lose me though!"

"I'll try not to. Just don't go too fast."

Travis smiled, "Don't worry. And when we get there, I'll park behind you, since we won't be driving his truck back to the hospital. Hey, Jen? Are you going to stay there at the hospital tonight?"

Jenny stared out the window and thought. "Well...shit..."

"What's the matter?"

"I need to work tomorrow."

"Call in sick. Damn it, if this is more important to you than work, than just call in sick. And it looks like this is more important to you. So, just call in sick and you can spend the day with him at the hospital. I don't think he'll be in surgery for all that long...the docs don't know what the hell they're talking 'bout."

"We'll talk more at the hospital...you're gonna stay there for awhile, aren't you?"

"Yep. Get your butt out a here!"

She laughed and got out, slamming the door.

"I'll see you at the house," he said to her out the window.

She nodded and walked over to Rick's truck.

l l l

"Is he out yet?" Jenny asked the blood-boiling doctor whom she had dealt with in the very beginning, Doctor Lucas Banks. "And where is Doctor Johnson?" She demanded, "I'd like to speak to him."

"Doc Johnson is busy at the moment, Jenny."

"Call me Ms. Culver-Lucas," She dealt him an icy glare. "Is Rick out of his surgery yet?"

"No, not yet…."

She sighed and crossed her arms, biting at her nails- a nervous habit. "Why not?"

"Because, Jenny-er, Ms. Culver- the surgery is still underway-"

"Cut the technical doctor crap!" She shouted, drawing curious glances their way, "Speak English!"

Dr. Banks almost smiled but his mouth stayed in a smirk.

Travis spoke quietly for the first time since they had arrived. "Doctor, how much longer- approximately- will it be?"

"I uh...I don't really-"

"You're the doctor and you don't know!" Jenny blurted.

Travis touched the small of Jenny's back, trying to calm her.

Doctor Banks spoke in a calm, professional tone. "Jenny, there is no way of knowing how much longer the surgery will take. We'll be setting him up in recovery room number 134 if you want to-"

"To what? To sit and think about this!"

"No. If you wanted to set up his room for him...with flowers or whatever you want..."

"Do you think this is easy for me? Is that what you think? Because it's not!" She let out a sob, "It's not."

"I know that. I know that it's tough for you, but you need to...to stay strong for Rick's sake." Banks cleared his throat and picked up a clipboard. "Follow me, I'll show you to his room."

CHAPTER SIX

Doctor Banks slowly, quietly opened the door to room 134. His jaw set and he shook his head. "Here you go, Jenny. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have something to tend to," He said, his tone edged with anger.

Jenny walked slowly forward with her eyes cast downward. It was Travis who noticed. He nudged Jenny and said, "Lookit this."

She looked up and could hardly believe her eyes. Rick was sitting up in the hospital bed with clean white bandages wrapped around his chest. His eyes were dull but his lips were turned up into a soft smile.

"Hi, darling," He drawled quietly.

Jenny slowly raised her hand to her mouth and let out a quiet cry. Her eyes welled as she ran to the side of the bed.

"Did ya miss me?" Rick laughed quietly and slowly eased his hand out to her.

All she could do was cry. He pulled her closer. "Shhh...it's alright, Jen." He took a deep breath, "I'll be okay. The doc told me I'd be fine...they've got me all fixed up." He tried to smile again, but failed. He peered over her shoulder and asked, "Who's that standin' there? In the doorway?"

"Travis. Travis is here."

"Aw, my buddy Travis is here? Get over here, man."

Travis offered a faint, crooked smile and shuffled slowly over to the bed.

"You two look like mourners at a funeral! I ain't dead! Just a little broken, that's all."

"Did they uhh...did they tell you when you're gonna be able to leave?" Travis' voice was thick with tears.

"Nah...not yet."

The door suddenly opened wide and a woman in a white, knee-length dress said, "Mr. Dunn can not be disturbed right now. Who gave you authorization to be in here?"

Jenny stared at the nurse. "Dr. Banks. The damned doctor gave us authorization to be in here. Now get the hell out!"

The nurse's face molded into angry surprise. She turned on her heel and disappeared.

"Jen...Jenny..." Rick opened his eyes slowly.

"What?" She snapped. She heard the harshness in her voice and squeezed Rick's hand. "Oh, Rick...I'm sorry. I didn't-"

He shook his head slowly and put a shaky finger to his lips, "Shh...it's...it's alright. Did they give you any forms or papers to fill out? They didn't, did they?"

"Well, yeah, they did-"

"Aw...shit..."

"No, no, don't worry about it. I didn't fill 'em out. But, if you want me to-"

"No, you don't have to...filling out papers is kinda a shitty thing," Rick paused for what seemed like hours to Jenny, "You don't have ta fill 'em out. What're they gonna do if ya don't? Throw you in jail? I'll bail you out if they do. What the hell do they expect people who don't have anyone to do?"

Jenny smiled, "That's what I wanted to know..."

Rick sighed and rolled his eyes. "Jen?"

Jenny's voice was shaky, "What is it, Rick?"

"Oh, darling...it's alright. I'm not dead. Hell, I'm not even too badly busted up. Just a hole in my chest, that's all."

Jenny let her tears fall freely then, without holding back. Tears streamed down her face as Travis came up beside her and held onto her shoulders. Rick looked up at Travis and shook his head slowly. Travis' hands slowly fell to his side and he stood still for a moment. He finally sighed, sniffing softly and he turned to the door and looked back. "I'll let you two alone for awhile," He smiled.

Jenny turned suddenly as if just realizing he was there. "Oh, Travis. I'm so sorry...I'm sorry. Come back. Please, I'm sorry..."

Travis laughed softly and shook his head, "No, no...ain't no need to be sorry, Ms. Jenny. It's okay. I'll just be outside here," Travis' eyes traveled to Rick's face, "I'm real sorry, Rick...you're a good guy, ya know? I promise I'll visit you till you get sick a me...you mean a lot to me, Rick."

Rick smiled and nodded slowly. Jenny saw the tears form in the corners of his eyes and run quietly down his cheek. "Come over here, you jerk! You don't even care enough to give your friend a hand squeeze?"

Travis breathed a quiet laugh and walked over to the bed. He grabbed Rick's outstretched hand and squeezed it firmly. "I'd hug ya," he said, "But I don't wanna hurt you any more than you already are."

Rick snorted quietly and eased his head from side to side, "My arms ain't hurt! Get over here and give me some love!" Rick laughed loudly and Travis shook his head in subtle embarrassment at Jenny, who laughed. Rick patted Travis' cheek and said, "Thank you for being here for me."

"That's what friends are for, ya know? And I've known you forever, so you have no excuse to get rid of me. You're stuck with me for life, buddy."

Rick laughed softly and moaned at the pain, "Awww, I'd have laughed a hell of a lot harder, but I'm kinda hurting too bad..." He snickered.

"I know, bud. I know..." Travis walked to the door; "I'll be out in the hall if you need me."

"Thank ya, man." He heard the door click shut and he turned his head toward Jenny, who was sitting quietly in the corner of the room. "Come here, honey," He whispered. His arm hung over the side of the bed and his fingers moved slightly, gesturing her over to him.

Jenny sniffed quietly, hoping Rick wouldn't hear. "Oh, Jenny...are you crying?"

She threw herself at the security of his outstretched arm and he could see that she had indeed been crying.

"Jenny...oh, Jen, why are you crying? Don't cry..." He gently wiped her eyes with his shaking fingers, "Dry those beautiful eyes. Don't cry. It's alright...really, I promise it'll be okay. Hey, listen-"

Her tears came in a burst of pitiful, soft wails. Rick pressed her face to his shoulder and caressed her hair. He let her cry for a moment, then he whispered, "Look at me, Jen. Look at me, sweetie..."

She shook her head, her back quivering with each heave of choked tears.

"Yes. Yes, look at me, Jenny."

The sternness in his voice startled her, but when she raised her head, she saw his kind, gentle eyes and she felt a warmth inside her for the first time since she could remember.

"Listen to me, Jenny..." His fingers carefully caressed her wet face, "I want to apologize to you."

Jenny took a deep breath, trying to get her tears under control. When she finally was able to speak, she said, "Why? Rick, you have no reason to apologize to me. Rick...oh God...you're the one who's sitting in this hospital bed in this...this damned hospital. Why are you apologizing to me for anything?"

"Because...for meeting you just in time to have this happen to me...for making you go through this with me...I guess I'm apologizing for everything."

Jenny sat still, studying him, trying to understand. "Rick, what do you mean?"

Rick sighed softly, "I don't really know, to tell you the truth, hon. Maybe the drugs they have me on are making me crazy..."

"No, Rick...please..."

"No, I...I hurt too bad. I'm sorry...I'm tired. I can't get my thoughts straight...hell, I can't think," His eyes closed slowly, "I love you, Jen..." His fingers squeezed her hand gently and his breath deepened into sleep.

CHAPTER SEVEN

"I'm gonna marry him," She said, without looking up. Jenny and Travis were sitting in the hall outside Rick's hospital room. Jenny had come out a few minutes ago with the residue remains of her tears on her face and she was sitting quietly next to Travis. This was the first time either had spoken, since Jenny had come from Rick's room.

Travis peered at her out of the corner of his eye, "Beg your pardon?" She turned toward him suddenly and he straightened slowly in his chair and turned to look at her. He raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat, clearly unequipped to handle this kind of suggestion.

"You heard me. I don't care what anyone says. I love him, Travis. I can't live without him."

Travis shook his head as if to clear all his thoughts and he held up his hands, "Whoa. Whoa. Just...hold on. Where in the hell did you suddenly get this brilliant idea?"

"I didn't."

"Pardon me?"

"I didn't just get it. I've known it since I first laid eyes on him, Trav-"

"No. No, you haven't. Jenny, look..." He laughed softly in disbelief, "Holy hell...Jenny, marriage...you know, that's a huge deal. That's a life-long commitment. Jenny, for God's sake, you don't...you don't even know him! Shit...why'd you have to tell me this now? Couldn't you have picked a better time to unload this on me?" Travis sighed, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Rick is my best friend...I don't know a thing about you." He let out another quiet sigh and wiped his eyes. He looked at his wet fingers and laughed softly. He rubbed his hand on his jeans and stared at the floor, not daring to look at her.

"What's the big deal?" She asked quietly.

His head jerked up and his eyes pierced into her like daggers. "Do you really have to ask such a down-right stupid question? I'll tell ya what the big deal is, Jenny. He's lying in there with a gapping hole in his damned chest and you're sitting here, perfectly mobile, telling me you wanna marry my best friend? My best friend who's in that," His finger thrust toward the closed door in front of them, "Room, busted like hell from doing what he loves and sharing his joy with some damned woman he hardly knows! And that woman, you're, talking to me about marrying him? Without him even knowing that you care about him, much less love him?" Travis shouted. "No! No, you're not going to marry him."

Jenny sat, staring at him in utter disbelief. Her eyes slowly started to water. Her lip quivered gently, against her will and she said slowly, "I don't recall asking your permission. You just watch me marry your best friend. You know, you're not the only one who cares for him. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you are, Travis Nichols. Don't. It may be true that I've only known him for a couple days, but that does not change how I feel about him. And you aren't going to change it either, so you may as well not even try."

Travis jumped to his feet and glared at her. His eyes were red and puffy. He pointed a finger at her, "Don't tell me what I will or won't change, you bi-"

A woman in a white nurse's uniform walked toward them, her high-heeled shoes clicking rapidly on the linoleum floor. She smiled a perfect, white-toothed, red-lipped smile, "Is everything alright here?"

They looked at her in unison. It was Jenny who mumbled, "Yes. Yes," She glanced at Travis, who was still seething, "Everything is just fine."

The nurse smiled again and nodded. "Alright. Can I get you anything? The cafeteria is down the hall to the left. There's lots of tasty food."

Travis rolled his eyes, "No, we're fine. Why don't ya mind your own damned business?"

The nurse could just stare at him with hurt confusion in her eyes. "Thank you," Travis said. She gasped softly, turned and walked briskly back down the hall. Jenny furrowed her eyebrows and looked him up and down with disapproval. "I can't believe you. What the hell's gotten into you, Travis?"

He sighed deeply and eased slowly back into his chair. He stared at the floor and shrugged. "I don't know. I'm sorry for yelling at you, Jenny. I shouldn't have done that. I'm real sorry. I just...I just don't really know what to do. You know, I'm really in the same boat you're in right now. We need to lean on each other for support. He'll get well soon enough, you understand?"

Jenny nodded slowly, "Yes..."

"He'll be fine and life can go on like before. But right now, life needs to go on without him. We need to move on. He's not dead and he won't die...not because of this."

Jenny nodded once more and dared to bring up the subject again. She didn't want to, but she felt that it would be best to get it over with. "Travis?"

"What, Jenny?"

"Is...I mean..." She faltered, not sure how to go on.

"What, Jenny?" He said impatiently.

"Travis, I love Rick. I do and I'm going to do my best to show him and to give him my love-"

"Jenny, don't. Just don't, okay? I can't do this right now. Later. Talk to me about it later. It's not like you're goin' to propose to him while he's in the hospital with white gauze around his chest anyway. So, why even talk about it now?"

"I want you to understand that no matter what you think or what you say, if he wants to marry me, we're going to get married."

"Jenny, damn it, can I...can I ask you something?"

"Sure you can, Travis."

"I don't know you, okay? I don't know how faithful you are with your men and I don't know whether you've been hurt before or what, but Rick, he's damned near the nicest guy I've ever known. He reaches out to people like no one I've ever known," Travis laughed softly, "It's almost like he can't help but love everyone he meets. He's just a good all around guy-"

"That's why I want to share my life with him, Travis. I want-"

"You want him to take care of you, to nurture you. You want to use him."

Her surprise showed on her face. It quickly turned to hurt and then to subtle anger. "Now, that's just damned unfair. What the hell do you know about me? You said yourself you don't know anything about me, so just...just...go to Hell. Leave me alone. And don't you dare, oh, don't you dare try to stop me and Rick from moving forward in our relationship if we feel that it's the right thing to do." Jenny stood and walked down the hall to the nurse's station. Travis saw the nurse point and Jenny walk toward the left. The cafeteria he thought the damned cafeteria is where she's going. He tried to force these next thoughts away, but they wouldn't dissipate, she's just going to eat a goddamned turkey sandwich and pretend like none of this is happening. That none of this is happening to her. To Rick...to ME. She's such a...a...STOP IT! STOP THIS! You're better than this, Travis. Damn you! You were raised better than this!

And with that last unfinished thought still trying to enter his mind, he got up and walked to the nurse's station and then turned left.

He saw her sitting at the end of a benched table, eating, he saw with amusement, what looked like a turkey sandwich and sipping at a carton of juice. He slid into the seat across from her and folded his hands on the table.

"Jenny, I'm sor-"

She set the empty carton down with a quiet, cardboard thud.

"No. I don't want to hear those words out of your mouth again today, okay?"

He stared at her for a long moment and then looked away, pinching the bridge of his nose and then glanced at her again. "I think I'll get something to eat. That a turkey sandwich you got there? I might as well stay here awhile, don't you think?"

Her sandwich rose with her hand as she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't care what the hell you do, just as long as you let me eat my sandwich in peace. You know, I came here to be alone for awhile, and you showed up-"

"I showed up to tell you I was sorry, Jenny. Cut me some slack, will you? Jeez."

"I said I didn't need an apology." She set her sandwich down on the paper plate, gulped the rest of her juice and got up from the table. "I'm going to go see if I can see Rick again-"

"You just left his room, Jenny. Why don't you give him some space?"

"Shut the hell up! Let me deal with this my way and I'll let you deal with it in yours."

Travis snorted softly, closed his eyes and shook his head, waving his hand at the door. "Fine. Go."

"I'm going to."

"Then do it!" His eyes sprang open, his face reddened and his eyes glared up at her.

Jenny turned and walked out the door. Travis saw her head bob up and down rhythmically with every quick step. He got up and went over to the beverage bar. He picked up a juice, tore the cardboard open and gulped the carton empty. He picked up another and walked back to the table with it.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Half an hour later, he found her sitting on the bench outside Rick's door. She heard his footfalls and looked up. "They wouldn't let me see him," She said quietly, "Said he's sleeping. How do they know if he's sleeping or not? They haven't been in to check on him since I got here, half an hour ago. The nurse at the desk there said they gave him some pills to help him sleep, said they'd be kicking in by now." Jenny looked down at her lap and didn't speak for what seemed like forever to Travis. When she finally looked up, her eyes were brimming with tears that threatened to fall. " Goddamn, I'm so sick of crying. I don't like crying in front of people…it makes me feel so pitiful and…so damned weak." She looked at Travis, "It infuriates me. But, I can't help it." Then she looked back down and said nothing more.

Travis finally, after a few minutes, heard the soft, barely audible whimper. Five more minutes passed before she whispered, "But I want to see him, Travis," She paused, "I want to hold his hand. I want to kiss him and tell him that everything is going to be alright," She paused, "And I want that to be the truth."

Travis watched her for a moment and then finally he said, "Jenny, I'm going to leave for awhile, okay? But, I'll be back later. I just need to leave for a bit."

She nodded as Travis turned and began walking down the corridor to the exit. He had taken only a few steps, when he turned around again and walked slowly back to her. She was biting her nails nervously and he took her hand and squeezed it.

"Travis..." She said, but by the time this was out of her mouth, his hand was gone and he was already halfway down the hallway.

l l l

"Has anyone checked on the patient in room 134 recently?" Jenny asked the nurse at the desk.

"Don't think so," The woman replied, her eyes still on the paper in front of her.

Jenny rolled her eyes and slammed her hand on the counter. "Can you bother looking at me? Or are you too busy?" She snapped.

The woman was definitely looking at her-in complete surprise. "Miss, can I ask who you are?"

"Jenny Culver. Rick's…girlfriend. Look, would you just go check on him, please? I'm worried about him, I-''

"Ms. Culver, I can assure you that he's fine. He's in good hands. He's in a hospital for goodness sakes." The nurse smiled, picked up the pen and returned to her work.

"Can I go see him?" She asked.

"No, you can't." The nurse replied, without looking up.

"Why?"

The nurse tossed her pen down and looked up at her, annoyed at this woman. "Because, Ms. Calver-"

"It's Culver, with a U."

The nurse paid no attention to the correction. "Because we want our patients to relax and rest and if you go in there, he won't be doing that."

Jenny sighed, turned and walked to the chair that stood outside Rick's door, her throat tightening slowly and her eyes fighting back tears. She sat down heavily and laced her fingers together and stared at his door.

What a snip that woman had been! Every employee in this place was nasty, it seemed. And what the hell for? She knew she should probably do something, anything to occupy her time and her thoughts, but her stubbornness wouldn't let her. She wished there was someone that she could talk to, but there was no one. She wished she could leave, that she could get out of this place, but she couldn't even do that. Her emotions and will wouldn't let her. She wished she could see Rick, that she could hold his hand and assure him that she was there for him if he needed her, but she couldn't. And why? Because no one would let her? Or maybe because she was just inwardly nervous and afraid. She didn't know how or why, but maybe...

And then another thought came to her. Why was she so attached to him? She'd only known him for a little while, how could she possibly be this-how can I possibly be this in love with him? Does that really matter? She wondered. Love isn't an emotion that can really be explained...no emotion can really be explained, for that matter. Emotions are just emotions, that's all.

Jenny closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe she should leave for a while, get out of this wretched place, this depressing, drab place. Maybe I'll go get a bouquet of daisies and a box of chocolates and then go home and curl up under my bed blankets and cry my heart out. I'll put the daisies on my dresser...and eat the whole box of chocolate...She smiled and snorted softly, remembering that she didn't have a car to go anywhere. "Figures," She mumbled under her breath. Jenny put her head in her hands and closed her eyes, Rick's sweet words playing over and over in her mind: I love you, Jen. I love you…Love you.

l l

She didn't think that she could have been asleep for very long, but she wanted to know if anything had been done with Rick in that time, so she asked, slightly embarrassed, how long she had been dosing. The nurse was of no help, saying with a smile that her shift had just began. So, Jenny must have been asleep for quite some time. And so what? She needed it. So what if she had gotten it while sitting in a most uncomfortable chair in a hospital hallway? She was neither trying nor not trying to impress anyone. Certainly not the incompetent medical personnel. All she wanted was for Rick to be all right. She just wished that he had never gotten on that bull. That he had stayed in bed longer that morning, like he had wanted to, so that maybe by the time he had gotten to the arena, it would have been too late. The announcer would have passed over the well-acclaimed Rick Dunn and gone onto some other cowboy. Hopefully that man wouldn't have been the gore-post for that mean-spirited animal. Jenny furrowed her eyebrows, trying to recall the bull's name. She didn't really know why it mattered. She didn't know why she was wasting her time and her thoughts on something so…stupid, but the not knowing was getting to her. What was it? She wondered. What in the hell was that devilish bull called? It was something that I remember thinking fit the damn thing as I was riding up here in the ambulance, I know. Like Devil or Hades or Lucifer or…or something!

Jenny clicked her tongue in irritation and got up. She walked over to the nurse's station and asked quietly where she could get some water. The nurse smiled-there always seemed to be a smile (fake or otherwise) plastered on these people's faces-and told her that there was a fountain right down the hall, there.

"Thanks," Jenny said and walked back the way she had come. There was indeed one right down the hall from where she had been sitting. She leaned down and sipped the icy water until she could not drink anymore. She straightened back up and DEMON! That's what it was called. That stupid thing's name was Demon.

Jenny walked back down the hall and noticed someone walking toward her wearing a cowboy hat and Jenny's heart fluttered quickly, Rick! Rick was alright. Oh, God, Rick was going to be-. It wasn't Rick.

Travis smiled softly when he saw Jenny. They met at the chairs outside Rick's door. Travis wrapped his arms around Jenny. He got a beautiful whiff of perfume on her neck and had the horrifying urge to press his lips to that fragrance. He pushed her away gently, burying his panic when the realization came to him-he was beginning to feel attracted to the woman whom his best friend had already laid claim to. His panic rose slightly when, at first, she wouldn't let him go. She clung to him for a second longer, forcing him to breathe in that perfume of hers for far longer than his mind had wanted.

"Travis, I'm so glad you're here." She smiled softly.

That smile's beautiful. And those eyes…hell, her body…wouldn't mind seeing that without- His thoughts were interrupted when he heard his name.

"Travis?" She was peering at him, smiling, amused.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Jenny…I didn't hear you."

She laughed softly, "Guess not. I asked if maybe we could leave for awhile-go somewhere. I mean, I know you just-''

He interrupted, "Yeah, let's go."

"You sure?"

" 'Course I am, hon." Aw, shit, He cursed himself, here I go, calling her things...what the hell's wrong with me?

Jenny was smiling, seeming not to notice Travis's slip. "Thank you, Travis. I just…I don't know, I just can't stay here anymore. I'm going crazy."

Travis returned the smile, and then laughed softly, "Yeah, I know the feelin'…that's why I had to leave earlier."

"Where do you wanna go?"

"Aw, we'll figure it out when we get out to the truck. Guess it don't really matter, now does it? Just 'long as we're outta this place, hm?"

"Exactly," Jenny smiled and slipped her hand into Travis's.

As they walked passed the nurse's station, Travis turned his head to the nurses and said, "We're leavin' for a bit, but we'll be back later." The nurse just nodded.

"That's all they know how to do," Jenny told him, once the two of them were out of earshot, pushing the door open into the sunshine.

"What's that?" Travis asked.

"Nod. That and calling people by the wrong name…names I've never even heard before…placin' A's where U's're s'posed to be and things."

Travis laughed and pulled her quickly toward him, "Aw, what? They call ya Jenny…Calver?"

"Yes."

"Oh, you poor li'l thing."

They laughed together as Travis opened the passenger door of his truck for her.

Once they were pulling out of the parking lot, Travis asked her, "Do you mind if we run by my place? I've gotta get outta my rodeo clothes."

"Nah, we can do that."

"Okay, then we can go wherever ya want."

"It doesn't really matter, all I really wanted to do was get out of that hospital."

"Well now, we managed that, didn't we?" He glanced over at her and smiled.

"Yes, sir, we did."

v v v

He opened the front door, taking his hat off with the other hand. He stepped aside and waved his hand, "Ladies first," He said and flashed her a smile.

"Thank you."

He walked in behind her and hung his hat on the nail beside the door. "I'll be out in a minute, just make yourself at home." He walked down the hallway and disappeared into the right side and she heard the door squeak, but it didn't click closed.

I wonder what his bedroom looks like? She thought. She looked around the room and saw a number of belt buckles and trophies being displayed above the fireplace. She walked toward it and then decided that instead she'd use the bathroom. She hadn't relieved herself since this morning before she and Rick had left for the rodeo and it was catching up to her.

Jenny walked down the hallway and stopped at Travis's cracked bedroom door. She paused before knocking and peered in at him. He was facing away from her, looking down. His boots were off, revealing white-socked feet; his toes were curling back and forth, working out the kinks.

Jenny's eyes moved slowly upward until they reached bare, softly tanned skin. His shirt was off. Oh, his shirt was off and the smooth, tightly muscled skin that that revealed made her unable to do much else but stare. After a minute, she finally swallowed and raised her fist to knock softly.

She had to knock three times before he heard her. The door opened and she stammered out, "I…I was just wondering…."

He chuckled gently, "What're you wonderin'?"

"Where the bathroom is," Jenny finished with confidence.

Travis gave her an easy smile and said, "Well, you can use the one in here, 'cause the one out there don't work right now-the pippin's busted or somethin'- and I haven't gotten around to fixin' it yet. But go ahead and use this one."

He's a fixit man. "Thank you," Jenny put her hand lightly on his shoulder, brushing past him. His hand covered hers for a minute, and then it was gone and he was back to unbuckling his belt. It snaked out of the belt-loops and he coiled it.

Hat…boots…shirt…belt all gone Jenny thought. She slammed the door, forcing those thoughts to shatter.

"Now, don't break the thing, Ms. Jenny, I've already got somethin' else needs fixin'." She heard, followed by a gentle chuckle.

"Sorry," She called.

"Don't worry, I'm just givin' you trouble," Followed by another soft chuckle.

A couple minutes later, the bathroom door opened and she walked out slowly, buckling her belt, "You know, I could-''She stopped and looked up to see Travis sitting on the end of the bed with a finger to his lips and a smile playing. Jenny froze for a second, panic caressing her body. She failed to see the smile across his lips.

"Shhh," He whispered, "Come here."

She walked quietly over to him and he took her wrist. "What's the matter, Travis?" She whispered nervously. He pulled her gently toward him, taking hold of her hands. "Nothin', Jenny."

"Well, then what-''

"I just…I just wanted a chance to…I guess to have you close to me and I didn't think you would do it otherwise unless I came up with something dumb to get you a little nervous."

She laughed in a breathy, relieved way. "Aw, Travis, I'll give you hugs anytime you want them, you don't have to do something like this to get 'em."

"No, I understand that, but, to get the kind of closeness that…that I want to have with you…well, I need to go to a few extreme measures. I just want a little bit of that closeness with you, before…before you and Rick get hitched," Travis smiled, "You know, when I told you that the reason I didn't want you and Rick getting married is because I thought you just wanted to use him for nurturing and all-I didn't really mean that. I mean," He smiled up at her, "I guess I did at the time I said it, but I don't mean it. You seem like a wonderful, loving, beautiful person, Jenny, and I think you'll make a fine wife for him," He looked at her, "I'm just…just real damn sorry I didn't meet you first." His eyes glistened with a film of tears.

Her fingers automatically went out and she wiped his tears away. His hand cupped hers against his cheek. Jenny slid off the bed and knelt in front of him. She laid her other hand on the other cheek and lifted his face to hers. Travis's eyes very slowly lifted to look at her. "Don't Jenny...please..." He whispered.

"Shh...Travis," Her face inched slowly closer, until her lips barely caressed his, "I promise, it's alright."

His eyes slipped closed, "You don't understand..." Her lips were suddenly planted firmly against his. He savored the taste until he felt her tongue slip across his lips. He pushed her away suddenly with his hands on her shoulders. Breathing heavily, he said, "No, Jenny, I can't do this. No matter how much I want to, Rick has already laid claim to

you-''

The warmth in her eyes turned to ice, flaring with anger. "What was that? Rick has already laid claim tome?" Her voice rose with every word. "What is that? I am not some kind of property to be claimed!"

Travis raised his hands, "No, that's not-''

"Well, than what? What do you mean, if that's not it? It sounded pretty clear cut to me!"

Neither said anything for a long moment, and then finally Jenny raised her eyebrows, clearly expecting an explanation.

"I didn't mean that at all, Jenny. It's just a term that...that we use to mean-''

"Who is 'we'?"

"All of us. Cowboys. I mean cowboys. That cowboys down here use to mean..." Travis sighed in frustration. "What I meant was, that you and Rick are already...datin', I guess."

"Well, then, why didn't you just say that? We're in the twenty-first century now, Travis. This isn't the old West. Why don't you cowboys figure it out?"

Travis' mouth dropped open and he shut it quickly, retorting, "What kinda girl are you anyway? Girls around here-country girls- know not to take offense to that. They know what it's meant by."

"I'm not sure anymore that I'm the kind of girl to mess with the likes of you."

"You a city girl? Is that what you are? You probably won't fit in here for long then, Jenny. You may as well go back to the bright lights and find yourself a city man."

"Why should I care what you think, anyway? I'm not marrying you."

Travis laughed softly, "Oh, yeah, I forgot...yer marryin' Rick! He'll think differently than me, 'course." Travis paused, "He don't want to marry no city girl, Jenny," He said softly.

Her jaw set defiantly. "I'm not no city girl."

"Then what are you?"

"Damn it, Travis, just 'cause I didn't know what you meant, doesn't mean I don't want this life!"

"No, it doesn't mean that you don't want this life. But, I'll tell ya what it does mean, Jenny. It means that you didn't grow up in this life-style. And I'll tell you what that means. It means no one will ever know for certain if you love this life-style. And since I've known Rick my whole life, it's safe for me to say for certain that he won't ever really know that he made the right decision in marryin' you, because he won't ever know whether you love it here with him, whether you love his life-style. And that'll kill him, that'll eat away at him forever, not knowin' whether you love it here with him." Travis paused. "And I don't want you makin' any wrong decisions, Jenny. For your sake, yes, but mostly for Rick's. He's been heart-broken too many times, I won't let him get that way again. So, Jenny, I don't want you jumpin' the gun on any of this until you know for damned certainty that this is the life-style you want and that Rick is the man you want to share it with. Ya hear me?"

Her chin quivered and she nodded her head.

He pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry, Jenny, but I need to do what best friends do, and that's takin' care of Rick's best interests. Because I know he would do the same for me." He felt her body shaking against him, so he held her tighter and kissed the top of her head, "All this don't change a thing about what I think of you-even if you are a city girl who don't know what some things mean over here."

He heard her soft, tear-choked laughter. He smiled and pulled away to look at her. "And it don't even change the fact that I wish I had met ya before Rick did. I'd probably be able to change your city thinkin'. And I'd bet Rick'll be able to do the same...if you want him to. If you don't, then he won't be able to, and that's where the trouble might come in, ya know?

"He's wanted this kind of life since he was a little boy, 'cause he grew up with it and he wanted to marry a country girl so that he would be able to keep the life. And I need to see that he does the right things to make sure he gets what he's wanted forever, since his momma and daddy aren't here to see to it." Travis paused, "You understand, don'tcha?"

Jenny nodded, "Yeah, guess I understand."

"Do you really?"

"Yeah, I do. I understand..."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," She forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"Alright. You ready to hit the road?"

"Howdy, honey." Rick's smile was brighter than before. And his eyes were sparkling like they had been when she first met him, just a week ago. Just last week. It seemed years, but it was merely a week. Jenny had forgotten how much she had missed that sparkle.

"How are you feeling, Rick?"

"Much better. I didn't know I'd be missing you so badly though. Weird, isn't it? But, than maybe it's not. I dunno. All I know is that it's true." He paused to pull her closer to him, to bury his nose in her sweet-smelling hair. "Aw, Jenny, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Rick. But, you know what?"

"What's that, Jen?"

"The doctors say that they think you'll be getting out of here and on with life a lot sooner than they first thought."

"Oh, yeah? Well, those are sweet words. I've only been in here a week and it's driving me insane, not being able to cook, not being able to have a beer. Hell, honey, these people won't even let me urinate in peace." He smiled, "Now, what's a cowboy s'posed to do with himself when he's not even allowed to piss without females looming over him, with their hands on his elbows? That ain't right. It ain't right at all."

Jenny snickered softly and leaned down and kissed him. "Well, you won't have to worry about that in another two weeks."

"Two weeks, hm? That is rightly impressive, I s'pose." He paused, thinking, resting, "Hey, you know what, Jen? That means I'll still be able to ride in Cheyenne."

Her mind froze for a second. "Rick, the doctors, they…I mean…."

"Oh, no. Ohh, my God, Jenny." His breath suddenly seemed labored, "No, Jenny, that can't be. They can't do that. I'll be fine in a couple weeks, they'll release me and I'll be fine. Life'll go on like before. I'll be able to ride in a couple weeks. I'm feeling fine right now. So, in a couple weeks, I'll-"

"Rick, Shh," Jenny put her fingers to his lips, her eyes raised to the ceiling, trying to keep him from seeing the tears. He quieted and when she finally looked at him, he was staring at the shining, gold belt buckle that stood, propped up against an open book, beside the bed. His eyes revealed every memory of every ride and suddenly misted over.

Jenny gently brought his eyes back to her with a touch to his cheek. "Rick, you can't ride anymore. It's too dangerous-"

"But, I've been doing it for years. What happened this time was just a fluke, it's not usually that bad, I-" He stopped and closed his eyes. After a minute, he reopened them and, in a voice quivering and tight with tears which he refused to let fall, said, "I can't just up and quit riding, Jenny. My entire life is in it. No..."

" I know, Rick. I know it is, but if you start up with it again, they say you might permanently damage something. Or something might twist and you might die."

"Jenny, might isn't good enough for me to just quit." He stopped and than the tears finally fell, "Oh, baby, please don't let them do this to me…please, I beg you, please don't let them do it. I love you…please, baby, help me with this. Just this once…"

"Okay, " She whispered, "I'll try. I love you with all my heart, Rick. I'll do anything I can to make you happy."

"And I you, sweetheart. I want to give you anything and everything you desire. I want to show you what real love is all about." He paused, "I'm sorry this happened, Jen. I mean, Christ, having to deal with this shit a day after meeting me, I'd go insane. I wouldn't. I'd leave. Run and not look back. But, you won't and only God knows why."

"He and I both. I won't do that because I love you. We share this connection, it seems. I felt it right away. Did you?"

"Yes," He whispered, "Yes, I did. That's why I said the hell with it and brought you to my house and shared hot tea with you. Because I felt that connection too."

"But Travis, Rick, he-"

"Don't worry about him, baby. I know what he's doing, saw the way he was lookin' at you. But, it'll only happen if you want it to. You're in control, darlin'. Of everything. Me and you and yourself as simply you. Tell me what you want. Right now. This minute, what do you want?"

"I don't-"

"Oh, but you do. You do know exactly what you want. You may not believe this, but I know you. I've studied everything I could about you in the past day. I know that might sound creepy as hell, but it's not. I promise. You're just so damned beautiful and when you talk….when you talk it sounds like Heaven is whispering in my ear."

He laughed softly and took her chin when he saw the embarrassment. "Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. It's the truth. To me, you're an angel, sent from Heaven above, and I'm the lucky man who caught you--what do you want?"

"You know what I want, Rick? I want you to walk out of this wretched hospital with your hand curled in mine and I want to just walk away with you wherever our feet take us. I want last night to play all over again. I want to laugh with you and cry with you and sing with you and cook with you and be with you every minute of every day knowing that you love me and cherish me and trust me. I want to be your best friend. The woman you come to when you feel like you're going to lose it. I want to share passion with you and dinner with you and…and my body with you. I want to teach you things and I want to be taught things. I want to love you and love life. I want to start over. And try, with your help, to love who I am. I want to know what it feels like to wake up in the morning and smile and say, "Finally, another beautiful day is here." Instead of, "Oh, Christ, here we go again." Rick, honey, please, I want to wake up to your smile every morning…that's what I want."

He was quiet for a moment, "Wow, that's quite a list you've got there, sweet-cakes." Then he laughed, "I want that, too, Jenny."

"Do you really?"

"I really, really do."

There was a slight knock on the door and a nurse walked in. "Jenny, I'm sorry, but visiting hours are about over and Rick needs his sleep."

Jenny nodded and the nurse disappeared. "Rick?"

"Yes?"

"Please, come home soon. Don't make me…."

"Don't make you what?"

"Go through life alone. I want you next to me for as long as possible."

"How 'bout till the rocking chair age?"

She forced a slow, sad smile, "Yes, till the rocking chair age."

His eyes slipped closed and he squeezed her hand, "I promise. I promise I won't make you go through this life alone. If…if you promise to dance with me in the corn fields."

Her smile suddenly beamed, "I promise I'll dance with you in the corn fields."

He ran his thumb along her eye and wiped away a streak of sadness. "Okay. Okay. You better get outta here. Before you make me cry…grown men never cry and I won't even mention what happens to the cowboys who let a tear escape. And before they come in here and start making a ruckus. I won't make you wait too long in those corn fields, baby. Just lay on the ground and listen to the rustle and to the whisper of the stalks as they stand watch over my girl. Let the fields protect you until I come home, okay?"

"I will."

He let his head fall back on the pillow. "Get outta here…go home, crawl deep under the covers and think happy thoughts. Who knows, maybe Pan'll come callin'."

A soggy, guttural sound escaped her lips. "Rick, can I stay at your house? Just for a couple days?"

"You can stay there as long as you need….just, uh, call if you have any answers or questions or requests."

"You sure it's alright?"

"Yes. I'm sure. But promise you'll come visit me at least once a month or so…."

A fresh spew of tears was released. He laughed and kissed her forehead.

"How 'bout every day?"

"That'll be even better."

"I promise. I promise, baby. I won't let my cowboy outta my sight. Took me damned near forever to find him, I'm not gonna let you go anytime soon."

"Good. I'm not about to let you get away from me now that I've got my hands on you." He squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek. She brushed her lips across his cheek and against his lips. "Mm…God, Jen, I love the way you smell." He took her head in his hands and kissed her forehead. "Now get outta here. Come see me when you can and I'll be home in a couple weeks. I promise. Keep the bed warm for me, sweetheart."

"Of course and I'll keep the corn rustling for you, too."

The nursed knocked and entered again. "It's that time, Jenny. You can come back tomorrow at ten. He'll be here. But only for a couple more weeks, right, Rick?"

"That's right, nurse," He gave her a weak smile. And rolled his eyes at Jenny, in mock annoyance.

She smiled at him knowingly, then turned to the nurse, "Can I sleep in the chair over there for the night? Is that alright?"

"No, I'm afraid-"

"Aw, c'mon, Nurse. Why can't she? Ya didn't tell me about anything going on today or tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, but, you're gonna have to be-"

"Re-dressed, I know, but can't she just leave the room for that?"

The nurse sighed, "Let me go talk it over with the doctors, Rick. I'll let you know in awhile."

After she had left, Rick mumbled, "Damn these doctors. I hate 'em."

- -

Kelly