Disclaimer: I hate GSR.
A/N: Just a drabble that wouldn't leave me alone after listening to "New Divide" (and watching "Ninja Warrior on G4 XD) by Linkin Park (my favourite band :3). At least, that's how it started. I honestly have no idea how it turned into this XD
I remembered holding her in my arms as she cried into my good shoulder. I remembered her daughter clinging to me like she'd never see me again. I remembered her smiling face the first time I woke up in her arms. And I remembered the look on her face when I told her I was leaving.
"Give me a reason to stay and I will." I said, staring at her intently.
"I thought having people that loved you was enough." She replied after a moment, finally breaking eye-contact.
-
I remembered holding on by a strand, only thinking of her. She gave me a reason to hold on and I wanted nothing more than for her to be there for me like I had been there for her all those times before, but I knew I had no right. The only thing I needed then was for her to know that I was sorry. I would be ready to say goodbye, then.
-
I remembered wondering, long before anything between us could've ever started, how many times she went home and cried after a particularly hard case. I remembered wondering who was there to comfort her after a particularly hard day. I remembered wanting to be that person.
I remembered wondering how much sleep she really got. Did any particular kind of case get to her? What cases were harder on her than others? Did it keep her up at night? I remembered wanting to be the one to wrap my arms around her and tell her that things would get better, even if we both knew they wouldn't.
I remembered clearly all the nights I'd been kept away by the screams of victims in my head. By her screams. I remembered wondering if it bothered her as much as it bothered me.
I remembered wondering if she would ever forgive me for "giving up" on her ex-husband's case. I remembered wondering if she would ever forget. It never left my mind.
I remembered yelling at her that she let her sexuality cloud her judgment. I remembered the hurt look on her face as I regretted saying them. I remembered wondering why my words hurt her so much; if she hated me so much, why would she care?
I remembered all the hollow arguments filled with empty words. I remembered wondering why she got under my skin so much and if I had the same effect on her. And I remembered wondering if things would ever change.
-
I remembered that night I woke up under a car in the desert. I remembered looking up at the sky as the rain continued to pour, her words still echoing through my mind: I get what I deserve.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry it was so short (and probably pretty horrible), but reviews are much appreciated ;)
