Hello everyone ! Here's a new story for you ! It's a two-shots and that's the first part. It is set after 2x22, 10 months after Stefan's departure. I hope you'll like it !
He let him go. Stefan doesn't know why, but Klaus let him go. He told him to be back in two days, otherwise every single person in Mystic Falls will die, and Stefan has enough humanity left within him to know that this can't happen. So he goes back to where he belongs, aware that it's only to leave again very soon. The sun isn't shining yet, the night is slowly fading away. He finds out that the town hasn't changed a bit since his departure, almost a year ago. He takes his time to watch everything carefully. It almost makes him feel again. Almost. Stefan has shut down his emotions again. He doesn't want to feel the pain and the guilt. He knows he wouldn't be able to handle them. He didn't even try to count how many people he killed.
Stefan only tries to remember that he did this to save his brother's life. There was a true reason for him to leave with Klaus. He would never have done that otherwise. He would never have left Elena. But Damon, his brother, had been bitten. Stefan remembered all too well Rose's painful and horrible death. There was no way in hell Damon would go through the same thing. So he had found the cure, as promised. He had gone to Klaus and never left his side ever since. It was ten months ago.
An hour later, he's standing in front of his house. Stefan takes a deep breath. He knows he's about to give his brother one of the best shock of his life. He hasn't seen him since Elena's birthday. Yes, he was here. Just to give her a gift. Damon had tried to hold him down to keep him with them. But Stefan was stronger, and that made everybody realize that he already wasn't Stefan anymore. To be stronger than Damon, he had to drink human blood, and they all knew that. Elena first. So they let him go, watched him leave. He never came back. Until today.
He pushes the door open and steps in. The familiar scent of the wood, the old books, Damon's alcohol and everything else fills his nostrils. Stefan shivers. Maybe coming back wasn't such a good idea. Because he realizes that it's just as if he never left and it hurts. He shouldn't be feeling. Stefan swallows hard and finally manages to walk in fully. He closes the door behind him slowly. Damon might still be sleeping. Stefan uses his time alone to visit the entire house. He only notices one new table in the kitchen. He checks in every room except two. Damon's bedroom where he's probably asleep, and his own. He just can't push the door. He's afraid of what he's going to find inside. Instead, he goes back downstairs and pours himself a glass of bourbon. He doesn't need blood yet. He doesn't feel the need to kill, which is weird compared to what he's been doing all this time. Maybe that's because of where he is. Home. Stefan thinks he doesn't have the right to call this place a home anymore. He's not welcomed. He's feared. They will not tell him though. Because somehow, he's still Stefan. Granted, he's gained some pounds, and his muscles are even more developed than when he left, but he still has the same haircut. A little darker, maybe. But he's the same Stefan. Wearing leather jackets and tight black jeans.
Stefan snaps back to reality when he hears footsteps coming from upstairs. Damon is awake. It's time to face him. Stefan empties his drink and stands up from the couch. He doesn't understand why he can feel apprehension running through his veins. It's just Damon. He's known him his whole life. Maybe that's just because he's not sure who's the Damon he's going to face. He voluntarily keeps his eyes locked on the chimney in front of him.
And then, as expected, he hears his voice.
"Stefan ?"
Stefan slowly turns round to face Damon. His green eyes find their way to his brother's blue ones and he attempts to smile weakly. To say that Damon is surprised is an understatement. He's bewildered and Stefan thinks that if he was human, Damon would have fainted. The thought makes him truly smile and he finally find the strength to answer :
"Well, Damon, don't you recognize your own brother ?"
That seems to slap Damon in the face. He blinks and takes a step towards Stefan.
"How is that possible ? How can you be here ?"
"That's a long story."
"I've been looking for you all around the country. Where have you been ?"
"Everywhere."
"You're not answering my questions, Stefan."
"Why don't we sit on the couch ? I've missed it."
Stefan knows he shouldn't be acting like this, he knows that his brother deserves some answers, but he just can't deal with it right now. He just wants to enjoy his company, and Damon seems to understand that because he doesn't insist.
There's one question Stefan dreads to ask. Elena. What happened to her ? Damon hadn't said a word about her yet, and Stefan doesn't quite understand why. His brother should know that he wants to hear about her.
"So… Are you back for real ?"
"No. Only today and tomorrow."
"Why ? Why would he let you go and then take you back ?"
"I don't know. I don't discuss orders. I don't want to be compelled."
"How do you feel ?"
"Weird. It's like I haven't changed a bit since I left, but it's just an illusion."
"Can you control yourself with humans around you ?"
"I think so."
"How ?"
"I don't know, Damon. It seems easier when I'm not around Klaus."
"But aren't you thirsty ?"
"Of course I am. Aren't you ?"
Damon nods. The thirst is something that remains even though they drink blood for hours. Stefan asks another question :
"Have you found Elijah ?"
"What's up with him ? He's a traitor."
"No. He trusted his brother."
"What happened ?"
"Klaus killed him."
"So… He's got that dagger in his heart again ?"
"Yeah."
"Poor guy."
"Klaus keeps his entire family somewhere in town. You have to look for them. Bring Elijah back to life first."
"I'm sure Klaus has some people working to keep their bodies hidden."
"Probably. I don't know."
They remain silent for a while. It's not easy to pretend that Stefan never left. They've got so many things to say, yet no one speaks. There's a gap between them and they don't know how to overcome it. Finally, Stefan gets up and walks toward the window. The sun is shinning now, and he can admire the beauty of the house's surrenders. Then he dares to ask :
"How's Elena ?"
His question is welcomed by a silence. Damon has kept his eyes on the floor and it makes Stefan frowns. His brother is never one to elude a question.
"Damon ? What is it that you don't want to tell me ?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking about what her reaction will be when she'll see you."
"Do you think I should go and see her ?"
Damon looks at his brother.
"Why wouldn't you ?"
"I mean, don't you think it'd be easier for her if I stay away ? If she doesn't know that I'm here ?"
"I think it'd be easier for you, Stefan. Easier to leave again. But Elena… She believes that she'll never have the chance to see you again. You should go."
But he doesn't go. Not now. It's too early anyway, he's not sure Elena would be awake. He stays with Damon, because no matter how much of an ass he can be sometimes, Stefan will always love and need his brother. Stefan talks very little about his trip with Klaus. He doesn't want to remember, and Damon understands. So when Stefan asks him about what happened in Mystic Falls during the time he wasn't here, his brother is relieved and finally talks freely.
"Well, we didn't have much vampire trouble. I killed three of them, not very interesting. Alaric is getting better, although very damaged. Oh, and we've got a new vampire hunter in town. I'm trying to stay as far away from him as possible. Vampire Barbie is kind of dating the Lockwood wolf."
"Where does that leave Matt ?"
"Matt is over Caroline, now. He made it pretty clear that he didn't want to get involve in all the supernatural stuff, and I can only comprehend the guy. Oh, and the funny thing is Jeremy being able to see the ghosts of Anna and Vicky. It nearly destroyed his relationship with Bon-Bon."
"Wait… Jeremy can see his dead ex-girlfriends ?"
"Something like that. No one's been able to figure out why they came back to a certain way of… life."
"Oh. Well, that's some news."
No word about Elena. Stefan doesn't want to talk about her, he's afraid of what may come out of Damon's mouth. He can't imagine her moving on with someone else, yet it would be perfectly understandable. But he can't.
It's been two hours since his return. Stefan can't tell himself any longer that Elena is still sleeping. Of all people, he knows that she's not one to get up lately in the morning. So when he reaches the door and looks at Damon, he doesn't even need words. Damon nods, because he knows where his brother is heading. It's funny, Stefan thinks, how things have turned out for the both of them. There's this inevitable distance between them they can't overcome. Back in 1864, they would tell each other everything. They would hug and laugh together. Stefan can't recall the last time he shared a laugh, or a hug with his older brother. It saddens him. In this moment, he can see the emotions going through Damon's head and heart in his blue eyes. He wishes he could take him in his arms, like brothers would do. But he doesn't move, because he knows that too much time has passed, that it would just be weird. It just wouldn't fit. So he attempts to smile, and leaves quickly.
He only needs a few seconds to realize that Jeremy and Alaric aren't there. That's a good thing. He will be alone with Elena. Stefan takes a deep breath and walks to the door. There he stands, frozen. Elena is not expecting him. She might have a heart attack. Maybe he should have called her first. Stefan shakes his head and rubs his eyes. He's here now, he's not backing off. Slowly, his hand raises and knocks on the door. He hears her footsteps and closes his eyes for a second. She's coming closer, and suddenly the door is opened, revealing the girl he's been dreaming of since he left almost a year ago. Elena. She's as beautiful as ever, with her big brown eyes and straight hair. Their eyes meet, and Stefan thinks that she's going to pass out. Her mouth is slightly open, as if she's going to say something, but she remains silent. It's the shock, Stefan tells himself. Slowly, he takes a step forward. A small one, but they're already very close to each other.
"Stefan ?"
Her voice is like smooth silk. Time has stopped. Stefan believes that the world could end around him, he wouldn't take his eyes off Elena. They stand still, none of them wanting to speak first, maybe because they don't know what to say. Finally, Elena steps aside to let Stefan in. She's too shaken to speak. Obviously she hadn't thought he would ever come back. Stefan feels like he's done something wrong. He keeps looking at her while she closes the door behind him and leans against it. They're so close that he can smell her shampoo. It's still the same, and that almost makes him smile. Stefan realizes that the silence is becoming oppressive and awkward, so he finally whispers :
"Hi."
Her brown eyes dives into his green ones and Stefan can see that she's trying really hard to hold back her tears. She holds out her hand and touches his cheek slightly, as if to make sure that he was real, that he wouldn't fade away as soon as she'd make contact with him. He takes her hand in hers and kisses it gently.
"Elena…"
"Oh my God…"
"I know… I'm sorry."
She's got her two hands all over his face now, gripping his head tightly, not wanting to let go.
"Stefan…"
And then she bursts into tears. It's a predictable reaction, and yet Stefan doesn't know what to do about it. He wants to engulf her in his embrace, but it's too soon. He's lost the habit of making contact with the people he loves. The past year has been only killing and fucking some unknown chicks who wouldn't even survive to see the next sunrise. But now he has to deal with Elena, who's holding on to him like he's some kind of buoy in the middle of the ocean. Slowly, he takes her hands in his and let them fall back to her sides. She steps back, surprised. He looks away because he can't stand to see the hurt in her eyes.
"Stefan ? How…"
"Maybe we should sit."
He winces. He didn't mean to sound so rude. But Elena obeys, and she leads him into the living-room. He sits in front of her, and he knows that she has noticed his coldness. He slaps himself mentally, because all that he wants is to be with her, forever, and he just can't tell her, can't show her. She looks at him expectantly. She wants explanations. She needs explanations.
"You're back…"
"I'm not staying."
"What ?"
"I have to go back to Klaus by tomorrow night."
"No… Stefan, no ! You… You can't leave ! Not again, please…"
His heart aches to see her in such a vulnerable state. No matter how hard he tries to shut his emotions down, everything about Elena makes him feel. She wants to throw her arms around his neck but she doesn't move. It's up to him.
"Elena, listen. I really wish I could stay. But you know Klaus, and a deal's a deal. By choosing to save Damon, I agreed to spend a decade with him. I can't go back on my word, or he'll kill everybody here."
"But why would he let you come back and then take you away from us, again ?"
"I don't know."
And it's killing him not to know. Stefan looks down and closes his eyes for a while. He can tell that Elena's watching him, not wanting to push him, but mentally screaming for answers.
"Why won't you touch me ?"
It's barely a whisper, but she knew that Stefan couldn't miss it. It makes him open his eyes immediately.
"Elena… I just need time."
"We don't have time, Stefan. I miss you, I've missed you so much during the past months ! And now you're here, in front of me, but in your mind you're miles away. I need you, Stefan."
He doesn't answer. What would be the right thing to say ? It's not like he can jump in her arms and show her how much he loves her. He's going to leave tomorrow. There will be goodbyes, and Stefan hates goodbyes.
"Why did you come, then ? Why did you come here to twist the knife into the bleeding wound that's my heart ? Answer me, Stefan !"
She's mad now. She stands up and paces back and forth in front of him. Oh, it would be easier if she hated him. But her words only prove to him how much love she has to give him. Stefan feels something building quickly within him, and it makes him uncomfortable. It's the need for blood. And Elena's right here, all human with hot blood in her veins. A second later, Stefan's outside the house and Elena freezes at his sudden departure.
"Stefan ? Where are you ?"
She notices the open door and walks out. He's there, kneeling down on the road, a few meters away from her. When he looks up to her, she can see his eyes. His ordinary green eyes have turned red, and are surrounded by small veins. Elena understands immediately and she backs off a little.
"You need to hunt, Stefan. The woods aren't far. You can go there and kill a rabbit, or something. I know you can do it. You can go there without killing people. Just breathe. Please."
Stefan does as he's told. Slowly, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to focus on something else. He knows he can't hurt anyone here. And he's pleased to see that Elena isn't afraid of him. Sure, she didn't hug him and comfort him as she would have in the past, but he wasn't a ripper back then. So he exhales, and feels his features going back to normal. When he opens his eyes, they're as green as ever. Then, in a whisper, he says :
"I'll be back."
And he disappears.
Please tell me what you think ! The end of the story in a few days ! Stay tuned :D
OTH-FOQ
PS : I'm currently working on a story with Confliction, untitled The Poetry of Caroline. I hope you'll read it !
