written by cheril59 Inspired by the Peanuts special "She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown" written by Charles M. Schulz and the Cow and Chicken episode "A Couple of Skating Fools" written by David Feiss and Michael Ryan.
PLEASE NOTE: Even in wintertime, BERT, RALPH, CYRIL, CEDRIC, GEORGE, NICOLE, the BEARS, the PIGS are in their usual everyday clothes. SCHAEFFER wears no clothes at all like always. Although, CEDRIC wears his Mike Bossy Islanders uniform when he plays ice hockey. And besides MELISSA and SOPHIA donning the same winter outfits from "The Raccoons on Ice", I'll describe what the others wear in the winter.
"Suspenders" a movie Lady Baden-Baden starred in, a reference to 1946 film, "Suspense"
Bee Gees song "Nights on Broadway" is mentioned, as well as Lisa Lougheed's "Restless in the Night".
Sonja Henny, a parody of Sonja Henie, Olympic figure skater and film star Five on the Hive, a parody of "Four on the Floor" short-lived CBC talkshow Grunstra's Snap Flakes comes from the episode, "The Chips Are Down!" Named after the animator who came up with the outline of the episode, Sebastian Grunstra. (aka Sebastian) The characters Gloria and Mary are named respectively after the show's animator Gloria Hsu and writer Mary Crawford. Sandy Harker Fiander after character designer, animator and timing supervisor Kathy Harker-Fiander, Wendo's last name van Eazel parodies the real Wendo's last name van Essen, and Emily Pussyguard after figure-skater Emmy Putzinger.
The Raccoons created by Kevin Gillis Evergreen Raccoons Television Productions, Inc.
Stickin' Around created by Robin Steele and Brianne Leary Nelvana Ltd, YTV Cow and Chicken created by David Feiss Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Cartoon Network Peanuts created by Charles M. Schulz United Feature Syndicate, Inc.
Thin Ice 20th Century Fox, News Corporation Inc.
The Ice Follies of 1939 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Films
Music by Kevin Gillis, Jon Stroll (The Raccoons) and John Tucker (Stickin' Around)
"Run with Us" sung by Lisa Lougheed "Some Days" sung by Rita Coolidge Rita Coolidge appears courtesy of A&M Records "You Can Do It" sung by Leo Sayer Leo Sayer appears courtesy of Warner Bros. Records
New York Islanders uniform appears courtesy of National Hockey League
FADE IN. EXT, EVERGREEN FOREST, DAY. A wintry setting, snow is seen falling and the forest is covered with thick snow. As the NARRATOR speaks, we pan across the whole forest. And we cut to the EVERGREEN LAKE then to the RACCOONDOMINIUM.
NARRATOR: Ah, winter in the Evergreen Forest. Just take a good gander at this heavenly, swirling wonderland of lively white indulgence. Let the gusts of a gentle wind fill your perception with cascading, fluffy flakes of excitement and comfort as you've never felt before. Yes, sir, Old Man Winter certainly paid a nice visit and covered everything from Evergreen Lake to residential domesticities in an oversized blanket of snow.
We zoom and fade to the INTERIOR of the RACCOONDOMINIUM. MELISSA, RALPH and BERT looking majestically out at the window.
MELISSA: Wow! I can't believe how much snow fell last night, you guys. It's beautiful!
RALPH: Yeah, it makes the mind reel that no two snowflakes have ever been exactly the same.
BERT & RALPH zip off to grab their hockey gear.
BERT: And we couldn't have asked for a more perfect time to go rompin' 'round the white streets paved with fluff!
RALPH: Not to mention, a rousing game of hockey!
BERT: Y'know it, Ralphie ol' boy! (hops onto the couch and performs mad hockey skills with his puck) Five seconds left in the third period, Boom-Boom Bert Raccoon takes the puck with great panache! Here he is comin' with an ultra-powerful slapshot in the face of adversity! POW! GOAL! The crowd goes wild! Mwah! (laughs) (hops off) With you, me, Melissa, Cedric, Bentley and Schaeffer on the team, we're more than a bunch of unstoppable, unbeatable, undefeatable, undivided underdogs!
BERT and RALPH do the bump.
RALPH & BERT: YEAAH!
BROO barks and pants excitedly as he runs into frame.
MELISSA: (putting on her winter outfit and grabbing her hockey gear) I think Broo's more excited to be out in the snow than on the ice. I hope you don't slack off like last time, Bert. We had to do all the dirty work practicing for a big game.
BERT: Oh, (chuckles) I won't, Melissa! I've got the mad skills to have good clean fun. I mean, I'm on a well-balanced diet of peanut butter and nothin' like this can be complete without a diet peanut butter soda! I got the eye of the tiger, the strength of a hornet...
MELISSA and RALPH roll their eyes.
RALPH: And the agility of a court jester.
MELISSA: (giggles)
BERT: (sarcastic) Oh, hardy-har-har and guffaw! Sounds like someone gotcha outta the athletes' club and demoted YOU to RINK jester, Mr. Hilarious. (walks out the door)
RALPH and MELISSA follow BERT and BROO runs happily behind.
RALPH: What can I say? I live to blow the crowd away!
SNAP CUT to: EXT, SOPHIA TUTU's HOUSE, DAY. We zoom in for a few seconds then dissolve to the interior as GEORGE speaks. SOPHIA and LISA are watching TV in the living room.
GEORGE: (on TV) And that, gadies and lentlemen, is how we make Super-Rad Soccer Snow-Cream Balls! Don't move a muscle, we'll return to "Chef Surprise" after a word from our sponsor.
SOPHIA: Gee, Lisa, your father's an amazing cook; always cracking jokes and preparing the best scrumptious meals ever! (giggles)
LISA: I know, right? You should see his other interesting recipes like last week's Chicken a la King George III. I'm sure he'd be happy to lend you a copy of some of them when he gets home if you'd like.
SOPHIA: I'd love that!
CUT to: TV showing a commercial about ice skating. A couple of figure skaters are on, skating in a huge ice rink in front of a huge crowd. Music playing is the "Stickin' Around" music cue from "And the Wiener Is...", the scene where Stacy imagines she's a famous musician.
ANNOUNCER: Has it always been your lifelong dream of becoming the world's greatest figure skater for the Olympics? Well, here's something that's even better than that: Grunstra's First Annual Regional Skating Championship is proud to invite you to compete in a world-class figure skating competition! Brought to you by Grunstra's Snap Flakes cereal!
CUT to: SOPHIA, dreamily clasping her hands
SOPHIA: (sighs) Gosh. It always HAS been my life's dream to be a figure-skating champion...
LISA: You must really be the best figure-skater there is, aren't you, Sophia?
SOPHIA: Must be? (giggles as she gets up off couch) I always HAVE been! Come on, there's something I really wanna show you.
SNAP CUT to: BLACK, then it turns out to be the inside of SOPHIA's living room closet as she opens the door. TRUCK OUT to reveal a giant series of figure-skating memorabilia, outfits, skates, posters, statues, etc.
LISA: (wide-eyed and speechless) WOW...
SOPHIA: Lisa, figure-skating is my true calling. Inside the confides of my wardrobe lies a spiritual epicenter focused on the beauty and grace of figure-skating.
LISA: Wow! It'd be really cool to compete in the world-class regionals, but there's just one tiny little problem.
SOPHIA: What's that?
LISA: (sadly) The thing is I'm still taking an intermediate ice-skating class.
RIPPLE DISSOLVE to: stock footage of LISA playing basketball from "Moving In!" and "Easy Money!"
LISA: (o.s.) I'm great with sports and all, but my first love is basketball. I'm a huge fan, and it's been my thing ever since I was a baby. My athletic skills improved a whole lot as I got older, and my team's won every game from elementary school to high school before I moved here to the forest.
RIPPLE DISSOLVE to: the present.
LISA: They've managed to do great without me, though. It's my lifelong dream to become a world-famous ballplayer in the WNBA.
SOPHIA: That's okay, Lisa. I understand how difficult our sports can be. I took classes when I was quite young, too.
LISA: Really?
SOPHIA: Well, not exactly. You see...
(during the flashback, an instrumental version of "Teach Me" plays.)
RIPPLE DISSOLVE to: A younger SOPHIA, age 8, watching movies about ice skating on TV, stock footage from the movies "The Ice Follies of 1939" and "Thin Ice" is used.
SOPHIA: (o.s.) My passion for ice skating began when I was watching movies all about it. Practically everyone was a wonderful skater, I got inspired by the way they glided, how nimble they were on their feet, and performing spectacular stunts. Which was why I thought I'd teach myself to figure skate.
DIAGONAL WIPE to: YOUNG SOPHIA taking her first steps on the lake in her old neighborhood. Every move she tries making, she keeps falling down. (Note: I doubt she attended Evergreen Elementary because she never met Cedric, Cyril, Schaeffer or the Raccoons yet, so it's likely she attended another school either in the city or Evergreen.)
SOPHIA: (o.s.) But each and every step I took, I kept slipping on the ice. Every routine, like the figure eight, turned out to be a lot more difficult than I expected, but did I give up? Not a chance.
DIAGONAL WIPE to: YOUNG SOPHIA playing the "Ice Follies" movie on her projector and taking notes on the film.
SOPHIA: (o.s.) I studied the films very carefully and jotted down every skaters' technique, movement, posture, and agility performed gracefully on screen.
SNAP CUT to: YOUNG SOPHIA taking the steps again on the ice, now with hardly a pratfall.
SOPHIA: (o.s.) And a few hours later, I started taking the steps again...and just like that, this time my first attempt was a brilliant success. Well, mostly.
A montage of YOUNG SOPHIA trying her best to succeed in her talent.
SOPHIA: (o.s.) One more big effort after another, I kept teaching myself and tried hard not to fall flat on my back and kill myself. Every morning I got up at 4:30 sharp to practice skating no matter how tired I was, even before school started.
LISA: (o.s.) 4:30 A.M.? That's crazy!
SOPHIA: (o.s.) Of course, you'd think that, but not all wannabe skaters are like that.
SNAP CUT to: YOUNG SOPHIA asleep in class.
SOPHIA: (o.s.) But naturally it wasn't without just one little disadvantage: I found it a little hard to stay awake in class, but not too hard to focus on my schoolwork.
SNAP CUT to: SOPHIA, a little older, possibly in her preteens, skating a lot better than she did. Then performs what would later be dubbed her signature "swan glides".
SOPHIA: (o.s.) Anyway, as the years went by, my talents and expertise grew more and more fluid than any ice ballerina could ever imagine. Why, I even mastered my very own swan glides.
LISA: (o.s.) Swan glides?
SOPHIA: (o.s.) It's one of my usual signature skating moves I do so glamorously.
DISSOLVE to: SOPHIA, now in her current age (give or take a year or two), skating more gracefully and charmingly.
SOPHIA: (o.s.) Nobody could underestimate the verve of my scissor karma kicks or my eagle claw squats, or even better, my swan glides.
CUT to: stock footage from "The Raccoons on Ice" where SOPHIA first meets CEDRIC, SCHAEFFER, BERT, RALPH, and MELISSA and cheers them on at the hockey game.
SOPHIA: (o.s.) And later on, when we first met, I offered Bert and the others a few lessons, too, to become magnificent skaters and excel more at hockey by developing their speed and quality.
RIPPLE DISSOLVE to: the present.
SOPHIA: So, you see, Lisa, the more you practice and follow your dreams, the better you shine like gold. That's why I want to be a gold medalist to represent the Evergreen Forest.
LISA: Wow! You really ARE an amazing skater, Sophia.
SOPHIA: Being all that, it's in my blood.
LISA: Hey, y'think you could coach me like you did Uncle Ralph and Aunt Melissa? You and I'd make a pretty good duo to enter the competition!
SOPHIA: Why not? We'd be a GREAT duo! Get a good sleep and meet me tomorrow morning at 4:30, and we'll start training at the lake. Deal?
LISA: Deal!
SOPHIA and LISA high-five each other.
SNAP CUT to: EXT, EVERGREEN RINKS, DAY. Few seconds after, SNAP CUT to the interior. CYRIL SNEER's BEARS are practicing their skating routines as well for the opening act. (a la "Ice Follies of 1939"). Even SNAG is practicing, too. CYRIL and CEDRIC are coaching them and the PIGS assist, and MR. KNOX and LADY BADEN-BADEN watch in the stands, (the latter (BADEN-BADEN) impressed). A few incidental characters are in the stands as well.
CYRIL: (blows whistle) Alright, listen up, furballs! The annual championships are coming up in less than a week! If I see you mess up our warm-up act at the regionals, then I look about as bad as a cold-blooded boar in a low-tier motel! Chop-chop!
A few bears perform broadway-style gestures whiles others wear hats and canes vaudeville-style.
CEDRIC: (blows whistle) Now, step and kick! Good! Let's see some jazz hands, guys!
PIG TWO gives the bears a few ballet moves.
PIG TWO: Pli !
BEARS: Pli !
PIG TWO: Relev !
BEARS: Relev !
PIG TWO: Chass !
BEARS: Chass !
The ballet BEARS knock into each other as they leap.
PIG TWO: SIGH! Okay, let's separate you by a few inches and try again.
CYRIL approaches KNOX and BADEN-BADEN.
KNOX & BADEN-BADEN: (chuckles)
KNOX: (to CYRIL) The only thing separated 'round here's their stance from their charisma, Mr. Sneer. 'Course y'know, (shows us his boot-shaped skates with razor sharp blades) these blades of my Glidey-Glute 2000s are gonna leave the bleachers bleedin'.
CYRIL: Hey! No blood allowed in THIS cartoon, capiche?
KNOX: Sure, sure. Anyways, your bruiser boys ain't got nothin' on our Flight of the Hydroplane Blade or our Alligator Axel Attitude combo. (to BADEN-BADEN) Wouldn'tch'all say, Mayor Angelcakes?
BADEN-BADEN: (giggles) Oh, Knoxy-poo, I haven't been this excited to sail across frozen waters since my starring role in "Suspenders".
PIG ONE: (approaches) Pardon the interruption, boss, but Snag's screwing up his iced hoop trick.
CYRIL: And why's that?
PIG ONE: (lifts up icicle hoop with SNAG teething on top of it) Take a good guess.
CYRIL: Snag! You filthy mongrel! It's a plastic ring dipped in extremely cold water, not an onion ring! (sniffs the hoop) (suspiciously) Wait...did somebody use alfredo sauce instead of water?
ZIP PAN to: PIG THREE checking his list.
PIG THREE: Oops! (sheepish laugh) I, uh, guess everybody's interested in water soup instead of tomato-alfredo bisque after the competition?
CEDRIC: (approaches CYRIL) I'll take care of this, Pop.
CUT to: SNAG still teething.
CEDRIC: (whistles to SNAG o.s.) Here, Snag! Here, boy! Hup-hup!
ZIP PAN to: CEDRIC, now holding up the hoop, now with ice made from water instead of alfredo sauce.
CUT to: SNAG lets go of the alfredo hoop and now jumps perfectly through CEDRIC's hoop.
CEDRIC: Ta-dah!
KNOX & BADEN-BADEN: Bless my scales!/Sensational!
SNAG jumps through every position CEDRIC puts the hoop beautifully.
BADEN-BADEN: A very stunning performance, Mr. Sneer! My fluffy bunny could have achieved anything like it.
KNOX: (jealous) Teacher's pet.
CYRIL: See, Knox? Never underestimate a well-groomed blue-point retriever! Ha-HA! (to CEDRIC) Good work, son! Knew ya had it ya!
CEDRIC: Thanks, Pop! That phrase really does wonders to make dogs do wacky tricks, huh?
PIG TWO: (approaches with another ice hoop) Woo-hoo! Let's see if he tries for two, Master Cedric! Hup-hup!
SNAG jumps through two hoops at once.
BADEN-BADEN: (applauds the act) Bravo, Snag, bravo!
The other two PIGS and the BEARS applaud as well.
PIG ONE: This'll work out better than getting him on World Times!
PIG THREE: WAY better!
CYRIL: That's my boy, a true partner in crime! Metaphorically speaking, of course. (chuckles)
CEDRIC: It's all in the wrist!
His wristwatch beeps causing CEDRIC to check.
CEDRIC: Oh, I gotta get going! (throws his hoop to PIG TWO) I promised my buddies to play some hockey with them.
SNAG jumps through the hoops PIG THREE holds up.
CEDRIC: (to CYRIL) You handle the rest, Pop. See ya! (leaves)
CYRIL: Sure thing, Cedric! But don't forget to pick up alfredo sauce on the way home!
CEDRIC: (o.s.) Okay, Pop!
PIG TWO: (o.s.) (shrieks) Look alive, boss!
CYRIL: (turns around)
PIG TWO approaches frantically tossing the hoops to CYRIL.
PIG TWO: Snag's gone off his rocker!
CYRIL gasps in shock! SNAG looks like he is about to jump all over CYRIL unless...
CYRIL: Hup-hup!
That word did the trick. Here we see SNAG jumps through the hoops CYRIL holds.
CYRIL: (sheepish laugh) Sometimes I don't even know I had it in me, too, eh, Knoxy? (tosses one hoop to one of his BEARS)
BEAR TWO: I'll say.
KNOX: Surely, Mr. Sneer, our profits'll kiss the sky if both our acts come off as even the slight prestigious.
CYRIL: (chuckles) Count on it, Knox! With all due respect, this bear act, in general, would land us a national stage deal! I hadn't figured out a name yet, but the memorabilia should be worth kajillions, right?
KNOX: (rolls his eyes) Meh...primadonnas...
CLOCKWISE WIPE to: EXT, EVERGREEN LAKE, DAY. BERT, MELISSA, RALPH, SCHAEFFER, BENTLEY (wearing a light green ear-flap winter hat, a light blue jacket, a red-orange scarf with a yellow stripe, and red mittens. It's something based off of TOMMY's winter clothes) and CEDRIC are out playing hockey. Music playing is a parody of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" used in episodes of "Stickin' Around". One team is composed of BERT (center), MELISSA (goalie), and BENTLEY (forward) and the other, RALPH (forward), SCHAEFFER (goalie), and CEDRIC (center). BROO is the game's audience.
BERT: (beats CEDRIC at the faceoff) YAHOOO! Here comes the world-famous ace center Bert Raccoon, bringin' it up the ice. (takes his slapshot) Here's a chance in the area!
The puck is saved by SCHAEFFER.
BERT: (o.s.) Saved by Schaeffer the Dog with an amazing aerial display!
SCHAEFFER: (hits the puck outta the goal) And clears that one outta the box! (chuckles)
RALPH: (takes the puck and brings it up the ice) Chucks it to Ralph Raccoon, the star forward!
C.U. of RALPH
RALPH: He's movin' in marvelously with a chip on his shoulder and a hockey stick on the...
TRUCK OUT to reveal RALPH is bringing up nothing.
RALPH: ...other?
BENTLEY: (o.s.) Aha!
ZIP PAN to: BENTLEY, now handling the puck.
BENTLEY: Steal by Bentley "the Whiz-Kid" Raccoon!
CEDRIC: (approaches next to BENTLEY) Not if Cedric Sydney "Sensation" Sneer can help but slide in!
BENTLEY: In your dreams, hose-nose! (laughs)
C.U. of BENTLEY.
BENTLEY: (eyes closed) In fact, I'll bet nine out of ten competent pros couldn't administer a sneak attack steal in a million and one years.
TRUCK OUT to reveal BENTLEY no longer has the puck.
BENTLEY: (opens eyes and gasps) Hey, no fair!
CUT to: CEDRIC handling the puck.
CEDRIC: I believe your calculation was incorrect, Bentley! (laughs)
WIDE SHOT: We view from under CEDRIC's legs as he takes a slapshot, and the puck makes it in fast enough for MELISSA to miss.
CEDRIC: (o.s.) GOOOAAALLL!
CEDRIC, RALPH, and SCHAEFFER cheer walla and high five each other for their victory. BROO cheerfully flips and howls.
MELISSA: (laughs) Nice shot, Cedric!
BENTLEY: (approaches MELISSA) He's an awesome athlete, huh, Aunt Melissa?
MELISSA: He sure is, Bentley, and so is Bert, even when we played his father's team a long time ago.
BENTLEY: I didn't know that.
BERT: (approaches the others) Oh, yeah! You should've been there, little buddy!
RIPPLE DISSOLVE to: stock footage from "The Raccoons on Ice", the last seconds of the game.
BERT: (o.s.) It was 10 seconds left on the clock, the score was tied 3-to-3, the very moment of truth came when Boom-Boom Bert Raccoon scored that winning point!
RIPPLE DISSOLVE to: present.
BENTLEY: Gee, that was really something, Bert!
BERT: After that, Cyril and his bears would never be the same again. (approaches CEDRIC's team) Best, uh, two outta three, Cedric?
CEDRIC: No problemo, Bert! Rest assured, my destiny is to become one of the best hockey players in the NHL like Mike Bossy himself.
DISSOLVE to: A montage of the six animals playing hockey. Music playing is a parody of Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger" first used in "Stickin' Around" episode "A Man Named Gym". Each team scores one goal after another. Even with BERT getting pooped, they continue on for about a half hour or so later. Finally, the game is over, with the animals, if not all, wiped out.
MELISSA: Whew! So what's the final score?
BENTLEY: (writes in his scorekeeper pad) Let's see...mutter, first period, mutter, second, mutter, third...Whoa! Bert and Cedric's teams are tied, 7-all!
RALPH: Golly! That must be some matchup!
BROO happily chases the puck not being in play.
BERT: (pants) Yeah...whoopee...So...should we call it a draw, Cedric ol' buddy?
CEDRIC: Sure, Bert ol' pal! (shakes hands) You were pretty excellent at this game, too; probably the best player in my book.
BERT: (pants) Thanks...(falls backward)
SOPHIA (in her winter outfit) skates past the gang as usual, practicing her figure skating moves.
SOPHIA: Hi, gang!
SCHAEFFER: Hey, Sophia!
SOPHIA: (approaching the gang) Guess what? Lisa and I are taking part at the world-class ice-skating regional championships!
BERT: (gets up quick) Lisa? Ice skating? Seriously?
SOPHIA: Yes, she says it might sound like a nice change of pace for her.
CEDRIC: Wow! Congratulations, Sophia! I'm proud of you!
BENTLEY: Whoa nelly! My sister's still in an intermediate course and already she's gonna be in a skating show?
SOPHIA: Yep! And I'm training her right here on Evergreen Lake tomorrow. Lots of exercise, a well-balanced meal, and a few warmup drills. Once she gets the hang of it, she and I will have done something we can set our minds to.
RALPH: Well, it seems like you two understand each other better, but it's kind of a tough event to face. Lady Baden-Baden and Mr. Knox are among the more experienced-type skaters; I heard they've got a whole big routine lined up!
MELISSA: Oh, I'm sure the girls'll do fine, Ralph. (to SOPHIA) It sounds absolutely fascinating of you, Sophia, to teach Lisa to be an excellent skater like you did us. I think you'll both be the next Underhill and Martini in the Ice Charades!
CEDRIC: I concur, Melissa. (something dawns on him) Oh, I almost forgot: I have to stop at Willow's to buy alfredo sauce for Pop. Snag and the bears are gonna be the opening act. (leaves off frame)
BERT: Hey, Cedric, mind if I, uh, tag along with you and take a gander at the process? (leaves off frame)
CEDRIC: (o.s.) Not at all, Bert.
BERT: (o.s. to SOPHIA) We'll all be rootin' for you gals at the rink!
SOPHIA: Thank you!
RALPH: Now, that's what I call good sportsmanship!
SCHAEFFER: You know, Lady Baden-Baden asked me and George to serve refreshments at the cafe for the afterparty.
SOPHIA: (approaches others) Really? Do you think I could serve them hot chocolate, Schaeffer? I mean, I AM a part-time stewardess after all.
SCHAEFFER: Sure, Sophia! The more the merrier.
LONG SHOT of the gang.
SOPHIA: Oh, goody! Well, I have to get back to practicing for a little while, then I have to get home and ready for bed early to teach Lisa. (skates off) So long!
The others wave goodbye.
FADE OUT for a half-second and IN to: EXT, BENTLEY & LISA's HOUSE, 4:29 AM. We zoom in to the house and dissolve to the INT, in LISA's BEDROOM. She got to sleep early like SOPHIA said. Then cut to: C.U. of LISA, after a few seconds, we PAN to her radio clock reading 4:29 AM. After a few moments it strikes 4:30, causing the clock to buzz.
LISA: (wakes up from a dream she had) Wha-? Huh? Did our team win yet? (looks at clock) Oh, the lesson. (shuts off clock and yawns) (Note: She wears light blue basketball pajamas and a matching 19th century style nightcap with only a picture of a basketball on top. Her bare feet have three toes each, but unlike the other raccoons they are grayish-brown like her fur instead of dark gray)
DISSOLVE to: EXT, BENTLEY & LISA's HOUSE, around that same time. A slightly drowsy LISA, (now wearing a winter sports outfit, same color and pattern as her basketball uniform: yellow coat with her red lucky number 7 on the back instead of the front, pants and shoes, the former two with red lining on the collars) walks quietly out of the house. Beforehand, she'd successfully washed up without even waking up her brother and parents. (Hey, it's a cartoon. Anything could happen) Anyway, she just packed her totebag with her ice skates and boombox.
SNAP CUT to: LONG SHOT of a silhouette of LISA still walking.
SNAP CUT to: EXT, SOPHIA's HOUSE, DAY. LISA arrives at the front door and knocks.
SOPHIA: (from inside) I'm coming, I'm coming! (opens the door, looking slightly drowsy as well and wearing winter outfit and carrying her skates in her totebag) Oh! There you are, Lisa! (yawns and rubs her eyes) Looks like we're all set to rehearse, eh, partner?
LISA: (yawns and rubs her eyes) Whatever you say, partner. Guess now I know why you started fulfilling your destiny at 4:30 every morning.
SOPHIA: Well, you know me: I'm always prepared for anything. We've got a lot of practicing to do.
LISA: Well, no time like the present if we wanna win the big world-class skating competition. Let's hit the lake!
A little drowsy but confident, the two girls set off for the lake. We DISSOLVE to...
EXT, EVERGREEN LAKE, MORNING. We see the sky halfway turning orange. The two girls put on their skates. LISA is the first one to enter the lake.
LISA: I'll be over there in starting position and you set up the radio, 'kay?
SOPHIA: Alright, let's see how you've done in class so far.
SOPHIA sets up LISA's boombox, presses REV. The tape is rewound and she presses play. The song playing is an instrumental version of "O mio babbino caro" by Giacomo Puccini. As the song begins, LISA starts her skate routine very professional-like. (It's a similar animation to Peppermint Patty's from "She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown")
SOPHIA: (impressed) Wow...
LISA makes a leap, and as she lands, she barely trips, but does she fall down? No. She continues skating pretty good, aside from barely stumbling a few times.
SOPHIA: You're doing fine! That's it!
LISA skates on, aside from barely losing her balance, and finally, her ending pose turns out wonderful. SOPHIA applauds LISA.
LISA: Well, whaddya think of my routine, Coach Tutu?
SOPHIA: Not bad! A tiny bit of clumsiness though, but overall, still pretty good.
LISA: Oh, it's nothing, really. I'm not all THAT good.
SOPHIA: Don't be silly, you were terrific! Why, confidentially, your salchows, twizzles and sit spins were just about as good techniques as mine.
LISA: Y'think?
SOPHIA: (nods) Of course! After all, 7 is your lucky number, am I right?
LISA: (turns around to show the back of her coat) You know it! That's why I'm one of the best new athletes in the forest!
Suddenly we hear more skates approaching the two girls. LISA and SOPHIA turn their head to find ten hockey players, two of them happen to be the same kids from BENTLEY's class. Others are the incidental characters who pop up in random episodes no matter the gender.
LISA: Uh-oh, hockey players at 5 o'clock!
HOCKEY PLAYER 1: Hey! All ladies outta the lake; this is mens' swim now!
SOPHIA: We're not swimming, we're skating. It's not even close to spring yet.
All the hockey players laugh, and walla ("That's rich!" "Good one!")
LISA: (angrily) Forget it, hockey punks! We were here first!
TERRANCE: (points to girls) How would you like it when we whoop your rumps with our sharpshooters, beautiful?
LENNY: Yeah, how wouldja, beautiful?
LISA: How would YOU like it if I called you out with a good roughing?
HOCKEY PLAYER 1: Listen up, ya ring-tailed hose-nosed ninnies: We own this lake, see? Our hockey sticks say, "Get off the ding-dong ice so we'll start the game!", and our lips say, "We wouldn't wanna be caught dead in a pair of those tippy-toe sissy skates!"
SOPHIA: (gasps in shock) Sissy skates? (angrily) SISSY SKATES?! (approaches the player and noses him) We'll show you "SISSY SKATES!" (to LISA as she grabs her by the arm) Come on, Lisa!
LISA: WHOA! Sophia, what are y-?
SOPHIA: Just trust me and follow my lead; I've got a new lesson to teach them...
The two girls hold hands together and then separate. SOPHIA leaps and uses her signature swan glide move to circle around the first hockey player of the skaters several times. LISA does the same in her own way to TERRANCE and LENNY. Then, from a bird's-eye view, LISA and SOPHIA write "Too easy!" in script form to finish them off. The two O's are where the hockey players stand on. After a few moments the o's crack letting the three into the cold water, being prompted to shiver.
HOCKEY PLAYER 1: (shivering) N-n-n-n-n-nice b-b-b-b-b-blades...
SOPHIA & LISA: Thanks!
LISA: (to the other players) Anybody else up for a little swim or are you gonna help them out and leave us to skate in peace?
The other hockey players sadly and quickly do the second part LISA said.
LISA: That's what I thought.
HOCKEY PLAYER 2: Let's take them to get warm and come back later, team.
HOCKEY PLAYER 3: (to the girls) Sorry for being fussy to you gals.
SOPHIA & LISA watch as the players run out of sight.
SOPHIA: Uh, Lisa? I never thought of asking this, but do you think we were a little too rough on those kids?
LISA: Well...now that you mention it, I feel terrible.
SOPHIA: Me, too.
LISA: We should apologize to them when they come back.
SOPHIA: Good plan. Anyhow, we sure make a good couple of super swans on the lake, though.
LISA: Which reminds me: I think I just invented my own original skate move!
SOPHIA: Really? What?
LISA: The slam glide!
SOPHIA: Slam? (giggles) Like in "slam dunk"!
SOPHIA & LISA: (laughing)
SOPHIA: I guess wearing your number 7 DOES make you feel lucky, Lisa!
LISA: Totally! That's what they called me at my old school: "Lucky Lisa"!
SOPHIA: (giggles) Well, after that disturbance, I think it's time we took a break at my house for breakfast. I'll make some hot cocoa and eggs for us.
LISA: What the hey? A little bit of caffeine won't hurt, I suppose.
SNAP CUT to: EXT, SNEER MANSION, DAY.
PIG ONE: (from inside) Nothing like an ample bowl of Snap Flakes cereal to kick off the day, huh, boss?
SNAP CUT to: INT. SNEER MANSION, EXERCISE ROOM, DAY. The BEARS and SNAG are exercising for the competition. CYRIL and CEDRIC instructing and the PIGS assist. BERT & MELISSA are watching the process by doing their usual Evergreen Standard jobs.
CYRIL: Ya darn tootin'! Can you believe how lucky Grunstra is to be sponsoring the big event?
PIG THREE: I believe in miracles...
CYRIL: Well, you pork chops also oughta keep believing in shaping up and keeping these brawny kids in shape! Exactly the kinda procedure if we wanna show Knox the true art of figure-skating. Yep, when it comes to stage acts, Cyril "Maker of the Arts" Sneer is top dog!
PIG TWO: (panicked) Ooh-hoo! (holds a hoop and runs away from SNAG) Yeah, but Snag's quick to think I'm a HOT dog!
BERT: (whispers to MELISSA) I'm, uh, not big on weenies who, uh, freak out on ice.
CYRIL: Let me guess, the hoop's dipped in ranch dressing and frozen, too.
PIG THREE: (sheepish giggle) Eh, must've grabbed the wrong vat again. Funny stuff, huh, boss?
CYRIL: UGH! One of you simpleton snorters get Snag back and you won't have something to laugh about!
PIG ONE: I'm on it, sir! (runs after SNAG and PIG TWO) Hey, Snag! Wait up!
DISSOLVE to: INT, SNEER MANSION, THEATRE, DAY. CEDRIC is in the front row center seat. A few incidental characters are in the audience too.
CEDRIC: (blows whistle) Alright, everyone, let's take it from the top again! And remember, it's tip hats first, then twirl canes. Places! Action!
Piano plays "Ain't We Got Fun" offscreen. As the BEARS sing, they dance while on roller skates and wear barbershop quartet suits.
BEARS: Every morning, every evening, ain't we got fun Life is sunny, oh my honey, ain't we got fun...
BERT and MELISSA, awestruck, approach CEDRIC.
BERT: Wowie! They oughta be REALLY good on Broadway, don'tcha think Cedric?
CEDRIC: Isn't it obvious, Bert? It took me seven hours to thoroughly design the costumes.
PIG THREE: (approaches the others and holds up magic marker) And I gave them the handlebar moustaches.
BERT: (chuckles) But is it art? (writes in his pad)
CEDRIC: It's amazing how a simple piece of thread can make a big difference to the clothes that make the man.
MELISSA: (takes snapshot on camera) Don't suppose they know THAT many show tunes?
CYRIL: (approaches the others) Get serious, Raccoon! You should've heard 'em during last year's Spring Break concert. And I should know, they killed with their rendition of "Nights on Broadway"!
MELISSA: (doubtful) Perhaps we suffered enough from the Bee Gees sometimes.
PIG THREE: (whispers to RACCOONS) At least you weren't singing "Restless in the Night".
BEARS twirl around, throw canes and show jazz hands.
BEARS: AIN'T WE GOT FUN!
"Ta-dah" fanfare is heard. Fireworks appear over the stage. The guys are impressed.
CYRIL: In a cyclical environment, it's calisthenics that beget glory.
INT, SNEER MANSION, LOCKER ROOM, DAY. PIGS ONE and TWO straining the frozen hoop. PULL BACK to reveal SNAG's teething on it again.
PIG ONE: Come on, Snag! This is supposed to be for practice, not for playing a game a fetch!
PIG TWO: We wanted a regular plastic hoop made with ice for the show, but oh, no! We had to settle for a hoop dipped in ranch dip, left frozen for hours!
One of the BEARS pick up the hoop letting the three go.
BEAR ONE: Ahem! Next time, you oughta let me use that for my hula-hoop routine. (hands them from his locker a new hoop already dipped in frozen water)
PIGS ONE & TWO: Uh, thanks...
SNAG: (snickers)
PIG TWO: Uh, hup-hup?
SNAG: (jumps through the hoop several times in several positions PIG TWO puts)
PIG ONE: Wow, Floyd! I'm surprised Snag hasn't even foamed at the mouth this time. How'd you do that?
PIG TWO: Oh, something the Dishwater Kid would do in a situation like this! That phrase Master Cedric called out must be a smooth maneuver.
PIG ONE: As long as it satisfies our boss! It's not so easy taking one ginormous ice-skating act on a world tour, let alone raising the profits.
DIAGONAL WIPE to: INT, EVERGREEN RINKS, DAY. KNOX and BADEN-BADEN rehearse their routine. RALPH and SCHAEFFER are in the stands doing the same Standard jobs, taking notes. A few other incidental characters are in the stands as well. The music to KNOX and BADEN-BADEN's act is "Lohengrin-Overture to the 3rd Act" by Richard Wagner.
RALPH: Hmm, Cyril's bear act is pretty good, but Mr. Knox and Lady Baden-Baden's routine seems reasonably aesthetic.
SCHAEFFER: I dunno, Ralph. Lady Baden-Baden seems like a real genius in the fine art of dazzling talent. She sure knows how to virtually make the men popular in more ways than one.
KNOX holds BADEN-BADEN in her arms.
KNOX: Get ready for the flight, my sweet angel! (Tosses BADEN-BADEN in the air and performs hydroblading)
BADEN-BADEN: (joyful shriek)
BADEN-BADEN makes a perfect landing on her skates and picks KNOX up on her hands as he does a headstand.
BADEN-BADEN: Now, for the Strawberry Blossom Twist! (spins KNOX around and performs the twist lift beautifully)
RALPH and SCHAEFFER watch with wonderment.
RALPH: (to SCHAEFFER) It's funny how matrimony and the government deal you a wildcard.
Finally, the rehearsal routine ends. KNOX and BADEN-BADEN approach the stands.
BADEN-BADEN: So, how was our performance so far?
RALPH: I must admit, Mayor, you and Mr. Knox certainly have an inventive way of grasping these, well, unusual stunts.
KNOX: Oh, please, Mr. Raccoon, bringin' home the victory's within my grasp. 'Sides, when we were tykes of nine, we had a knack for these kinda exploits at the Synchronized Swimmin' Rally at Fresno.
BADEN-BADEN: You might say my conscientious Lone Wolf Paddle simply did exceptional wonders to encourage Knoxy here. If not for our seemingly developed teamwork, receiving the gold medal would be downright impossible.
RALPH: (writing in his pad) That sounds encouraging, Lady Baden-Baden; cooperation MUST be a good priority.
SCHAEFFER: (writing in his pad) I bet Sophia and Lisa have the right idea, what with their firm training and all.
SNAP CUT to: EXT, EVERGREEN LAKE, DAY. LISA and SOPHIA still practicing for the competition. Much of the animation of SOPHIA and LISA skating is reused from "The Raccoons on Ice" and "She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown". "O mio babbino caro" plays on the boombox. LISA does her thing from earlier, but this time when she leans back, she does it too much and lands flat on her back.
LISA: Oomf! Rats.
SOPHIA: (turns off the music and approaches LISA) Are you alright, Lisa?
LISA: I'm okay, just a little slipup, that's all. (gets up sadly) I dunno, Sophia, maybe I'm just not cut out to be the figure-skating type.
SOPHIA: Don't be so discouraged, Lisa; remember that new move you told me about after we got too hard on those hockey players this morning?
LISA: Yeah? (turns around and sighs) And I even got on my #7 sport coat as a good luck charm, too.
SOPHIA: That's true, too. (pats LISA on back) You said yourself that what you're wearing right now proves how lucky you are. But it's not just that. The main thing is what I learned deeply when I was a little girl: you just have to concentrate really hard, take a deep breath, and believe you can skate if you really try your best.
LISA: (cheering up) Well...I guess...maybe you're right, Sophia.
SOPHIA: You KNOW I'm right! (skates next to her) Just watch carefully how I do it and you follow along.
As SOPHIA speaks the above line, the song "Some Days" performed by Rita Coolidge begins to play throughout the whole montage. SOPHIA first does what she told LISA just now. Then LISA follows. SOPHIA does the skating and LISA follows. Suddenly, LISA manages to repeat exactly everything SOPHIA did. Then, LISA has just mastered the art of skating just by concentrating and believing in herself. She's even done her very own figure skating stunts, like playing an imaginary basketball game and imaginary rhythmic gymnastics. Moments later, she and SOPHIA start their pair skating rehearsal routine and all the forms are more than perfect! They suddenly become a dynamic duo on ice!
DISSOLVE to: LISA skating beautifully as the song fades out. SOPHIA has just taken a little break and watches LISA in amazement.
BENTLEY: (approaches SOPHIA) Hi, Sophia!
SOPHIA: Hi there, Bentley!
LISA: (skating past the two) Hey, Bentley!
BENTLEY: (amazed) WOW! (to SOPHIA) I've never seen Lisa skate so...so beautifully like that! That's amazing...!
SOPHIA: Yes indeed! (winks at BENTLEY) Like I told you, I taught her everything she knows. (to LISA) Right, partner?
LISA: (still skating) Right, coach! (to BENTLEY) Whaddya think? Great, huh?
BENTLEY: Great? I think you're like a real ice pro or something!
SOPHIA: (to BENTLEY) You should learn more about Olympic skating champions Barbara Underhill and Paul Martini; they're quite a superb twosome just like we'll be at the regionals!
LISA: And right now, I'm working on my third test figures.
BENTLEY: How many skating tests are there, sis?
LISA: Eight, Bentley, and they get harder and harder. You should join me and Sophia sometimes and watch the Ice Charades more often.
BENTLEY: I could perform the best victory dance whenever I score tons of goals.
SOPHIA: You should've seen her pull off some new moves today. All it takes is lots of determination, dedication, and with pair skating, cooperation. You'd be very surprised when you express yourself and conjure up your own moves.
BENTLEY: Well, even if I AM a good hockey player, could you and Lisa show me sometimes?
LISA: I guess it's worth a shot.
SOPHIA: Delighted.
LISA: (apporaches the two and stops skating) Whew, boy! I don't know about you, Sophia, but I've never practiced this hard at ice skating in my life. But I gotta say, you're a really excellent teacher.
SOPHIA: Even so, we are a shoo-in to winning that gold medal. It's what I've always dreamed of...
BENTLEY: I second that motion! I'll bet doing well in this competition really means a whole lot to you guys.
LISA: Well, I think it's starting to get a little more chilly out here. (to SOPHIA) What say we stop at our house and keep warm?
SOPHIA: Sounds good.
We hear the hockey players again, only this time, they feel a little down. The three players LISA and SOPHIA took down have stuffy noses, but are still up for the game.
TERRANCE & LENNY: Hi, Bentley.
BENTLEY: Gee, guys, you don't look so good.
HOCKEY PLAYER 1: (blows nose) It's a long story. (to LISA and SOPHIA) So, I'm glad to see you're done practicing for the day, beautiful.
LISA: (sighs) Yep. Listen, me and Sophia are sorry for acting like monsters to you like you were to us.
SOPHIA: Yeah...
TERRANCE: Hey, don't worry about it. *sniff* I gotta say, you girls were naturals with your skating this morning.
LENNY: Yeah, naturals.
LISA: Thanks, I appreciate it.
The three guys leave the players off with their game.
BENTLEY: Feel better!
SOPHIA: Enjoy the game!
DIAGONAL WIPE to: INT, BENTLEY & LISA's HOUSE, DAY. NICOLE and GEORGE respectively reading their newspaper and World Times Magazine in the family room.
NICOLE: So, George, how did your show go this week?
GEORGE: Great, honey! Mr. Knox says the ratings broke marvelously through the roof, thanks to my Snow Cream Soccer Balls. Everyone's gonna get a kick out of these at the after-competition party!
NICOLE: (giggles) I'm sure they will.
LISA opens the door and she, BENTLEY, and SOPHIA walk in.
LISA: Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! We're home!
NICOLE: Hi, kids! Oh, hello, Sophia. How was your training?
SOPHIA: Pretty good, Nicole.
BENTLEY: You won't believe it! I actually saw Lisa skate like a true gold medal winner!
GEORGE/NICOLE: You don't say!/My, is that so?
LISA: It's true! I didn't think skating with greater finesse was possible. I even covered so many leaps, turns, and glides like I never even thought of before: Like the three-pointer axel and the slam glide!
NICOLE: That's wonderful, Lisa!
GEORGE: Wow! It sounds like all those hours shooting some hoops really paid off, pumpkin. Oh, your mother made some cookies and milk if you're feeling hungry!
All three excited walla as they walk into the kitchen.
SNAP CUT to: INT, BENTLEY & LISA's HOUSE, DINING ROOM, DAY. LISA, BENTLEY, and SOPHIA sit at the table enjoying their cookies and milk. All three are wearing their normal clothes this time.
SOPHIA: ...And I'm going to serve hot chocolate after the big show.
BENTLEY: If you are, I'll take mine with marshmallows!
SOPHIA: Ah, just imagine, Lisa, our names up in lights, a hush glazes over the crowd, and the spotlight dawns on us two. We skate as the melody lingers on. And then comes the shining moment when the medals are presented.
RIPPLE DISSOLVE to what SOPHIA talks about, then RIPPLE DISSOLVE to: reality, LISA, dream-dazed.
SOPHIA: Isn't it wonderful how dreams are meant to come true?
LISA: (dreamily) SIGH! Yeah, a dream come true...
BENTLEY: (rolls his eyes) (sighs)
BENTLEY hears his mother humming o.s. He leaves the table leaving LISA and SOPHIA in a happy daze. In the family room, he finds his mother making something with her sewing machine.
BENTLEY: Uh, what'cha making, Mom?
NICOLE: Oh, something I thought your sister might wear at the competition, Bentley, so she'll look beautiful.
Finally she is finished and she shows BENTLEY the outfit. It's an exact likeness of SOPHIA's suit, only the colors of the top and skirt are switched. We ZOOM IN to the outfit.
NICOLE: Well, what do you think?
The background DISSOLVES to the DINING ROOM. Then we PULL BACK from the outfit to reveal LISA holding it instead.
SOPHIA: (impressed) It's just like mine!
BENTLEY: Mom used Sophia's outfit as a guide.
LISA: (awestruck) Wow! Mom, I dunno what to say...This looks very promising...
NICOLE: I thought, since you and Sophia will be partners, the dress would make you, how you say, color-coordinated. Go ahead, dear, try it on.
LISA: Okay, don't go away.
LISA walks off frame upstairs to her room to change.
GEORGE: (walks in) What's all the excitement about, Nicole?
NICOLE: Shh!
A few moments later, LISA returns with the outfit a perfect fit.
LISA: How do I look? (she curtseys)
GEORGE: Oh, my! Lisa, you look fabulous!
BENTLEY: Yeah! Like a superstar!
LISA: Really?
SOPHIA: It's perfect! Yep, you look perfect, even for the Ice Charades! You and I would make Sonja Henny proud!
LISA: Gee, thanks, everybody! (hugs NICOLE) And thank you, too, Mom! You're the best!
NICOLE: (hugs her back, dedicated) Oh, Lisa...
GEORGE: (tearful) Make us proud, Lisa...sniff...
BENTLEY & SOPHIA: (laughing)
BENTLEY: Hey, Mom, d'ya think you should do up her hair, too?
LISA: (angrily o.s.) Bentley!
BENTLEY: Just kidding. (light chuckle)
FADE OUT for a half-second. FADE IN to: EXT, KNOX's MANSION, DAY. The day of the competition has arrived. We zoom in, then dissolve to the INT. The dressing room. The two female incidental characers (one's (GLORIA) a female yellow bird with a ponytail and white neck collar and orange legs and the other (MARY) is the brown creature who bought SCHAEFFER as an eligible bachelor) are about finished working on fitting LADY BADEN-BADEN's outfit (a black ushanka and a red denim dress, same size as her usual dress, with sequins on the chest) around her.
BADEN-BADEN: Do you think Knoxy would admire these gorgeous embellishments? (looking in the mirror) I hope the denim is stretched enough.
GLORIA: Oh, it is, Mrs. Mayor. Surely he's very fond of ice dancers with noteworthy material.
MARY: I'm sure you'll be brilliant; everyone knows you're very light on your feet.
BADEN-BADEN: How does it look? (curtsey)
GLORIA: Fantastic!
MARY: Eloquent even!
BADEN-BADEN: Oh, but I can't tell which is my best opulent side...Oh, no matter, I just utterly adore them both! (giggles)
SNAP CUT to: INT, KNOX's MANSION, LIVING ROOM, DAY. MR. KNOX and CYRIL, both wearing top hats and tuxedos, drinking champagne.
KNOX: If I may reckon, Mr. Sneer, your rehearsals for the opening act of the regionals may have me pragmatically convinced. Should I suggest strikin' a KNOX-TV deal? Quite possibly a guest spot on "Five on the Hive"?
CYRIL: Hmm...(drinks champagne) you drive a hard bargain there, Knox; as long it's profitable fair enough. (blows cigar)
The PIGS and BEARS are playing cards at a separate table in the same room. The PIGS overheard that TV deal.
PIG THREE: Yet another way to start smaller.
PIG ONE: Figurativley, the boss seems pretty eager to put his creative ideas together and retain his dignity.
BADEN-BADEN: (o.s.) Yoo-hoo! Knoxy!
KNOX: (looks up while drinking, then does a spit take and reacts wonderstruck at BADEN-BADEN's outfit) Hubba-hubba...
BADEN-BADEN: (walks downstairs dignified as GLORIA and MARY follow)
CYRIL: (speechless) Well...heh-heh! Chomp my cigar!
PIG THREE: I'd like some fries with that shake.
The butler arrives with PIG THREE's french-fries and milkshake. PIG THREE sips his shake.
PIG THREE: (smacks lips) Erm, I asked for chocolate, not vanilla.
BADEN-BADEN: Shall we sashay off to the ice rink for a little warmup?
KNOX: (bows and stands on one knee) 'Twould be my pleasure, sweetheart. (kisses BADEN-BADEN's hand)
BADEN-BADEN: (giggles) You sly devil, you!
KNOX and BADEN-BADEN exit leaving CYRIL awestruck.
BADEN-BADEN: Coming, Cyril?
GLORIA and MAY pass CYRIL, who stands still in this coma.
PIGS ONE & TWO: Uh, sir?
CYRIL: (snaps out of hit, shaking his head) Huh? Wha-? Who are you and what have ya done with Lady Baden-Baden?
PIG TWO: Uh, Mr. Knox and Lady Baden-Baden are waiting for you.
CYRIL: Oh! (chuckles) Of course. The snowy stage awaits, boys. (exits)
PIGS ONE & TWO: (follows them) Right behind you, sir!
The BEARS follow walla.
PIG THREE: (following) Hey! I wasn't done with my fries yet!
FADE OUT for a half-second. FADE IN to: EXT, EVERGREEN RINKS, DAY. GEORGE's family car pulls up to the front of the center. LISA and SOPHIA, in their dresses, step out.
BENTLEY: Knock 'em dead out there, girls; break a leg!
NICOLE: We'll be in the stands!
The car drives away and LISA and SOPHIA wave goodbye.
LISA/SOPHIA: Okay, bye!/Bye-bye!
The two girls walk into the rink with arms wrapped around their shoulders.
SOPHIA: Well, we've finally made it! Isn't this our biggest break yet?
LISA: Are you kidding? I haven't been THIS enthusiastic since my junior prom. This really IS gonna be our dream come true!
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINK, MOMENTS LATER. CYRIL's BEARS' opening act has already ended with a more perfect form. The crowd goes wild! CYRIL is sitting in one side of the bleachers cheering for their act.
CYRIL: They love it, they love it! HA-HA! Next stop, TV Land!
The PIGS are cheering, too, the far end of the bleachers where there is a desk with a cassette player on it. Next to gate #2.
PIGS: (cheering walla)
PIG TWO: There are times when I love a good opening act when we put it all together.
BERT, RALPH (with BROO in his lap), CEDRIC, SCHAEFFER, BENTLEY, NICOLE, GEORGE are on another side of the bleachers cheering, too.
CEDRIC: See that? I told you my phrase would help Snag.
BERT: No offense, Cedric, but he's got nothin' over Broo here! Erm, anyhoo, the bears sure got into the swing of things with that showstopper of a big dance number!
CEDRIC: To be honest with you, Bert, the song-and-dance number's much more preferable over their ballet. I mean, at times, they tend to get a little clumsy.
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINK, ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH, CONCURRENTLY. DICK ERMINE, HAGGIS LAMBORGINI, and MELISSA are providing commentary to the big event. The music playing right now is an sports-organ arrangement of "Sooner of Later" by the Diors Bros.
LAMBORGINI: That was the openin' act from Cyril Sneer's bears and faithful dog Snag! Welcome, laddies and gentlewomen, to the most fun ye'll have all day: I'm talkin' about the First Annual Figure Skating Regional Championships. This is Haggis Lamborgini here along with Dick Ermine and Melissa Raccoon with a hearty hi-ho to ye!
ERMINE/MELISSA: Hi there, Haggis!/Thanks, Haggis, glad to be here!
ERMINE: Folks, they say it can't be done, but by golly, it can, for the spirit of competitive figure skating has begun a new era here in the Evergreen Forest! A clean slate as it were, a tournament of shrewdness, this will make good for morale on ice dancing for many generations to come!
LAMBORGINI: Well said, Dickie! And, for the moment, just a reminder to all ye sports fans, this event is bein' sponsored by Grunstra's Snap Flakes cereal! (holds up Snap Flakes box) When ye need to run a lap, it's the cereal made in a snap! Snap Flakes.
ERMINE: Spoken like a true spokesheep. (chuckles)
LAMBORGINI: Don't thank me; thank ten years of announcin' class in Cornflake, Arkansas! (to MELISSA) So, Melissa, whaddye think of today's tourney in the makin'?
MELISSA: Well, Haggis, I've played hockey every winter to know that not only figure-skating takes stamina, excellence, or girth, but it also takes originality. Each skate move is like a simple message that comes from the heart.
LAMBORGINI: Aye, lass, couldn't agree more. There's no emotion superior than sheer maaa-desty.
SNAP CUT to: The contestants warming up, including LADY BADEN-BADEN, MR. KNOX, SOPHIA, and LISA.
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) Well, right now, our competitors are out on the ice now for last minute warmups.
KNOX & BADEN-BADEN approach LISA & SOPHIA.
BADEN-BADEN: Oh, my, with those outfits of yours, one might say you look positively stunning!
SOPHIA: Thank you, Lady Baden-Baden; you're looking quite exquisite yourself.
BADEN-BADEN: Oh-ho, do go on! Without an exclusive dress like this, you could hardly imagine how disgraced my mayoral career would be.
KNOX: I'm detectin' a career in the Olympics in your future.
The duos shake hands.
KNOX: The missis and I just wanna wish you the best of luck.
LISA: Same here, Mr. Knox. You'll do great no matter who wins the perfect score.
SOPHIA: It's a great honor to be competing against you two.
KNOX: No arguments here, young lady; hardly a clear cut winner...
MELISSA: (o.s.) Clear the ice, please! Will all competitors please clear the ice?
Which the competitors do. A few moments after, we hear the "CHARGE" cue either from "The Raccoons on Ice" or 2nd season premiere "Double Play!". FERN drives by on the zamboni, tipping his hat and waving to the anticipated crowd.
CEDRIC: If there's one thing that keeps the ice healthy and completely devoid of debris, it's the smooth wheels of a Zamboni.
BENTLEY: Yeah, isn't it cool?
BERT: Cool and chilly at the same time!
BERT, CEDRIC & BENTLEY laugh.
BERT: That's just one of three things people like starin' at, Bentley: A Zamboni clearin' the ice, the flowing stream in summertime, and a crackling fire while roastin' marshmallows.
NICOLE: Imagine that, our daughter, now practically a thespian on ice...It's incredible.
GEORGE: Better think about getting her an agent...
RALPH: (chuckles) Good one, Georgie!
BERT: (to himself) Sheesh! Another Ralph.
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) Will all contestants please report to gate #2?
ERMINE: (o.s.) How 'bout a big hand for each contestant as they come onto the ice?
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINK, GATE #2, MOMENTS LATER. The first contestant, presumably a light brown duck (the same one from the auction scene in "The Artful Dodger!") enters the rink in starting position.
LAMBORGINI: First skater: Sandy Harker-Fiander!
PIG THREE, wearing headphones, inserts the cassette into the player and presses play. The first song playing is "Nutcracker Dance of Reed Flutes Peter Tchaikovsky". SANDY does the same animation skating and falling as Bambi from "She's a Good Skate".
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) Hmm, a wee bit off on her camel spin...she's goin' for the Salchow!
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINK, ANNOUNCER BOOTH, CONCURRENTLY.
ERMINE: (covers his eyes) Ooh, fumble!
MELISSA: And the worse part is she just laid an egg.
ERMINE: And a bad one at that.
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINK, MOMENTS LATER.
Five skate judges arrive, each holding a score card.
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) And here come de judges!
The judges hold them up: 1.1, 1.3, 1.1, .8, .5
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) Ooh, an agonizin' score of 4.8.
CUT to: CYRIL laughing in response to SANDY's score.
CYRIL: The yolk's on her now!
CUT to: GATE #2, MOMENTS LATER. The second contestant, WENDO (from "Life in the Fast Lane!") enters the rink in starting position.
MELISSA: (o.s.) Our next competitor: former member of the Badger Bix Bike Club, Wendo van Eazel!
TOOF: (o.s.) Go get 'em, girl!
PIG THREE inserts cassette and presses play. Next song is "Beethoven's Symphony No. 5, 1st Movement". WENDO does the same animation skating and falling as Laura from "She's a Good Skate".
PIG THREE: (sighs) Beethoven's Symphony #5, my favorite...
ERMINE: (o.s.) Perfect squat there...Oh-oh-noooo! Brought down flat on her back.
WENDO: Medic!
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINK, MOMENTS LATER.
Five skate judges arrive again, holding up cards: 1.1, 1.1, 1.2, 1.1, 1.3
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) 5.8. Baa-tter luck next time, Wendo.
SNAP CUT to: A despondent TOOF sitting in the stands. (One or two humans who look like the ones shown on a couple pages of the Evergreen Standard from "Opportunity Knocks!" can be seen sitting with him or wherever.)
TOOF: Aw, cripes, after all I taught her! I knew I should've added a failsafe to make her keep balance.
CUT to: GATE #2, THAT VERY MOMENT. Third contestant, a dark female grey cat (from "The Headline Hunter") enters the rink in starting position.
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) Now skatin': Emily Pussyguard.
PIG THREE inserts cassette and presses play. Next song is "A Little Night Music" by Mozart. EMILY does the same animation skating as Emily from "She's a Good Skate".
ERMINE: (o.s.) A lucky start for Emily there, folks! She hangs in there like a !
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) Jiminy! A maaa-gic Salchow there!
SNAP CUT to the bleachers looking quite amazed.
MELISSA: (o.s.) You gotta admit, Haggis, she sure got her advanced classes going for her! And, if that's possible, hers is an aptitude that captivates her fans.
SNAP CUT back to: EMILY.
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) Holy toledo, didje see that?!
ERMINE: (o.s.) In all my years of sports coverage, I've never seen a twelve-fold camel-layback combo spin!
CUT to: THE PIGS, looking far impressed.
PIGS: (o.s.) She's good...
SNAP CUT back to: EMILY, now completing her routine with an excellent form!
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) What form! What grace!
DISSOLVE to: The five judges holding up cards: 1.8, 1.7, 1.9, 1.7, 1.6
ERMINE: (o.s.) Remarkable! An 8.7!
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINKS, ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH, CONCURRENTLY. LAMBORGINI just wrote down the skaters' scores on the blackboard.
ERMINE: Alright, now, next up is a duet. The dazzling, socializing, rootinest, tootinest stylings of our next contestants: Mr. and Mrs. Knox and Lady Baden-Baden!
SNAP CUT to: GATE #2, THAT VERY MOMENT. MR. KNOX and LADY BADEN-BADEN enter the rink in starting position. Afterwards, the music starts "Lohengrin-Overture to the 3rd Act" by Richard Wagner. KNOX and BADEN-BADEN hold hands and leap. Then, KNOX lifts LADY BADEN-BADEN and tosses her into the air. The crowd takes snapshots of BADEN-BADEN's leap as she in midair poses gracefully.
MELISSA: (o.s.) Wow! A fantastic lift! Mr. Knox calls that the Flight of the Hydroplane Blade!
KNOX hydroplanes and BADEN-BADEN lands next to him. She then picks KNOX up on as he does a headstand on her hands. She then swings KNOX around just like they rehearsed it.
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) I love this one, the Strawberry Blossom Twist!
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINKS, ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH, CONCURRENTLY. The ANNOUNCERS look flabbergasted.
LAMBORGINI: Un-baa-lievable!
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINKS, BLEACHERS, CONCURRENTLY. The gang is speechless.
BERT: Man! THESE guys rock!
BROO: (barks)
RALPH: You can say that again, Bert. The way they carry on like that, they know how to please a crowd. (to SCHAEFFER) Huh, Schaeffer?
SCHAEFFER: I guess, Ralph, our horoscopes were right on the money.
SNAP CUT to: C.U. KNOX and BADEN-BADEN holding hands, then LONG SHOT of the two bending over backwards and spinning around. Then come back up and stretch until they detach themselves and end in a perfect form in each their own way.
SNAP CUT to: The five judges holding up cards: 1.9, 2, 2, 2, 2
The crowd chanting "KNOX and BADEN-BADEN!"
MELISSA: (o.s.) WOW! 9.9 for Knox and Baden-Baden! I bet it'll take a ten to beat that!
CUT to: CYRIL in BLEACHERS giving the thumbs up.
CYRIL: Ha-HA! Thatta way to go, Knox!
The gang in other bleachers cheer for the two. KNOX and BADEN-BADEN take their bows and walla thanking the crowd and head back to the gate.
CUT to: GATE #2. SOPHIA and LISA await their turn with anticipation and enthusiasm.
MELISSA: (o.s.) Another duet comes up next featuring Sophia Tutu and my niece, Lisa Raccoon!
LISA: We're up, Sophia! This is it, our shining moment of truth...
SOPHIA: Gold medal, here we come! And, Lisa, before we start, let's wish each other luck. (she and LISA hug each other) It's been a great honor being your skating coach.
LISA: Thanks, girlfriend; I really appreciate you helping me to practice and find my inspiration.
The two girls enter the rink in starting position and wait for the music to come on. PIG THREE inserts the tape with the song, "O mio babbino caro" by Giacomo Puccini, and pushes play. Nothing comes on yet.
PIG ONE: Is it starting, Lloyd?
PIG THREE: I don't know; I pressed PLAY, didn't I?
The cassette player starts spewing out string uncontrollably, prompting the boys to gasp!
PIG ONE: Incoming bogey!
PIG THREE: (tries to put the string in) I can't put the string back in; it's unraveling!
PIG TWO snatches the player and slams it on the table and shakes it frantically.
PIG TWO: OOHOO! WHY WON'T YOU START PLAYING?!
The player flys out of PIG TWO's hands, letting him fall into a string of broken tape.
CUT to: BLEACHERS where the gang is terrified!
BENTLEY: Oh, no! That's their music!
BROO whimpers.
CUT to: PIG TWO being tangled in the tape string, strangling himself to get out.
PIG ONE: Hang in there, Floyd, we'll handle the problem!
PIG THREE: No sense leaving an injured brother behind.
PIG TWO: Well, hurry up, it's eating me! (screaming)
PIGS ONE & THREE jump off and help their brother, but they start to get engulfed too.
CUT to: LISA and SOPHIA, still in the starting position, begin to get very nervous.
CUT to: BLEACHERS
GEORGE: Will they be disqualified?
RALPH: Well, if they don't find the right tape or a new cassette player.
CEDRIC: They're doomed! They're gonna lose without music!
BERT: And all that trainin' for nothin'!
CUT to: The PIGS doing all they can to stop the tape string from coming out. CYRIL jumps out of the bleachers and approaches.
CYRIL: C'mon, you hammy hooligans, quit fooling around and get the tape out!
PIG TWO: We can't, boss!
PIG ONE: It's stuck in there pretty good!
CUT to: LISA and SOPHIA, still stuck but start trembling nervously and sweating.
CUT to: BLEACHERS
NICOLE: My poor daughter...!
SCHAEFFER: They're done for!
CEDRIC: Relax, Sophia, until they fix the music!
BENTLEY: You, too, Lisa! Keep your cool!
CUT to: The PIGS and CYRIL frantically getting the tape string to stop and out of the mess.
CUT to: LISA and SOPHIA, getting more and more nervous as their faces turn red until...SOPHIA loses her footing and falls down. The crowd gasps, even the announcers.
LISA: GASP! SOPHIA!
CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINKS, ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH, CONCURRENTLY. The announcers shocked.
LAMBORGINI: Skater down!
ERMINE: Ooh! Sophia Tutu has collapsed!
MELISSA: And they didn't start without music yet!
LAMBORGINI: And those pigs were workin' as fast as they could to fix the tape!
SOPHIA: (yelling and moaning in pain)
LISA: Oh, my gosh! Sophia...are you hurt?
SOPHIA: My ankle! (moaning)
LISA: Oh, Sophia!
SOPHIA: You'll have to go on without me, Lisa...
LISA: But...without you...I'll be disqualified! And besides, I'm a dribbler, not a skater.
SOPHIA: It'll be okay. All I know now is we've worked so hard to get into the tournament. I'm sorry I let my dream get ruined like this...
LISA: *sniff* It's okay, Sophia, I'm sorry about that, too. We'll get a gold medal someday...in our dreams...
NURSE PECK arrives with a wheelchair and drives SOPHIA back to the gate.
SOPHIA: Thank you, Lisa, it means so much to me...
LISA: *sniff* I guess some dreams are made to be broken...(hangs her head down in shame with a tear in her eye)
CUT to: BLEACHERS, feeling sad
CEDRIC: Poor Sophia...
BENTLEY: Poor Lisa...I had to say, "Break a leg", but I didn't mean literally.
BROO howls.
RALPH: (pets BROO) It's okay, Broo. We all know they did their best. (to BERT) Right, Bert?
He finds BERT not sitting in the bleachers with them.
SCHAEFFER: Bert?
CEDRIC: Where'd he go?
The gang looks around.
CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINKS, ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH, CONCURRENTLY.
LAMBORGINI: Well, lads 'n lassies, with Sophia Tutu injured and no music, looks like lonely Lisa will lose by default.
He is about to cross out LISA & SOPHIA on the chalkboard until...
MELISSA: (interrupting) Wait a minute! (looks through binoculars) There's someone coming up on the ice! It looks like...
CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN RINKS, BINOCULAR-VIEW, CONCURRENTLY.
BERT, wearing a dashing leisure suit, approaches a desperate LISA.
CUT to: RINKS, CONCURRENTLY. LISA looks on surprisingly.
LISA: Bert?
BERT: Sounds like somebody needed a partner?
ERMINE: (o.s.) Whoa! Replacing Sophia Tutu, Bert Raccoon!
BERT approaches the cassette table as CYRIL and the PIGS look on anxiously.
BERT: 'Scuse me, Cyril! Uh, thought you might need some music to liven up this party.
BERT produces a new cassette player and tape. CYRIL crawls out of the tape string and grabs them.
CYRIL: Well, I'll be an entrepreneur's uncle! You're something else, Raccoon!
LISA: He's right, Bert. (proffering her hand) I don't know how you surprise us, but you really are one heck of a lifesaver.
BERT: Aw, shucks! (chuckles)
CYRIL: Well? Both of you hurry up and get to your position; we're growing old here!
BERT: Lights please!
Spotlight shines over BERT and LISA.
BERT: C'mon, Lisa, let's boogie!
PIG THREE: (showing the others this old tape mess) Whose brilliant idea was it to buy this worthless piece of trash?
PIGS ONE & TWO: Yours!
PIG THREE: Well, (sheepish giggle) seemed like a good idea at the time.
CYRIL: Huh! Lucky for you bacon breaths I didn't have to waste my dough to put together a demolished deck. (inserts tape and pushes PLAY)
The song playing now is "You Can Do It" performed by Leo Sayer. BERT and LISA take center stage and bow. They perform what LISA and SOPHIA practiced for earlier, as well as mixing in some wicked new stunts. BERT pulls out a huge water bucket and throws the water out as it instantly freezes into a giant roller track with hills and a ramp to the delight of the announcers, the crowd, and of course, SOPHIA. BERT kindly allows LISA to skate on the path and she goes to it like she's been there before. She takes off of a giant ice ramp and with a huge leap and makes a T-shape in the air. BERT catches LISA and gracefully lifts her with a perfect finish. The crowd cheers wildly. Everyone in the bleachers cheer wildly and SOPHIA, CYRIL, the PIGS and BEARS cheer and applaud their performance as the song fades out.
LAMBORGINI: (o.s.) PEDRO! Can ye baa-lieve in miracles?
ERMINE: (o.s.) We sure can, Haggis! And my name's not Pedro.
SNAP CUT to: The judges holding up the score cards all of which read, 2. Then to the INT, ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH. MELISSA writes the down the score.
MELISSA: It's a perfect 10!
SNAP CUT to: LISA and BERT high five each other.
LAMBORGINI: Bert and Lisa Raccoon win!
CUT to: The BLEACHERS cheer wildly.
GEORGE: Bentley! Nicole! They won!
NICOLE: Yes, George, and we're very proud of them.
CUT to: INT, ANNOUNCER's BOOTH, SAME MOMENT.
LAMBORGINI: This is a proud, proud day! Ye just got to give these two credit for really takin' advantage of each other. Penny for your thoughts, Melissa?
MELISSA: As a matter of fact, Haggis, be it figure skating or hockey, Bert's come a long way taking to the lake ever since he was five. But I'll also give Sophia credit for her authentic passion of swan-gliding and teaching all of us (including Lisa) to excel in the world of ice sports. (to ERMINE) Dick?
ERMINE: Well, about that comment, Melissa, Haggis and I couldn't be more uplifted. This spirited duo makes "Cinderella" look like a winter wonderland.
SNAP CUT to: LISA and BERT come up to the podium.
BERT: We did it, Lisa! We clinched the regional champs! YEAH!
LISA: Like I said, you're always full of surprises.
The judges present the contestants the medals: Silver for LADY BADEN-BADEN and MR. KNOX, Bronze for EMILY, and gold for LISA and BERT. LISA and BERT bow to the crowd as they throw flowers at her. LADY BADEN-BADEN hands BERT a bouquet of flowers.
BERT: They're beautiful! (to crowd) Thank you, thank you very much!
The BLEACHERS are thrilled at this heart-twisting moment. Snapshot moments are taken from the crowd as the camera trucks out from the podium, then dissolve to the EXT of the rink.
NARRATOR: Of course it's never a good idea to leave an injured brother behind, but even in your local skating rink, sheer quality can be established with a little development, teamwork, and encouragement. As a wiseman once said, "The path to success is paved with failure to which we must never let ourselves yield."
FADE OUT. Then FADE IN to: EXT, EVERGREEN HOSPITAL, A DAY OR SO LATER. After a few seconds we DISSOLVE to the INT. BERT, CEDRIC, LISA (back in her regular clothes), and BENTLEY are in the waiting room. NURSE PECK walks in.
PECK: Alrighty, folks, patient Sophia can see yer now.
SNAP CUT to: INT, EVERGREEN HOSPITAL, PATIENT's ROOM, MOMENTS LATER. BERT, CEDRIC, LISA, and BENTLEY walk in with a little something for SOPHIA, who, wearing a cast on a lower part of her leg (and her regular clothes), is thrilled to see her friends again.
BERT: Hey, Sophia!
SOPHIA: Hi, guys. I've missed you all so much.
CEDRIC: We've missed you, too, even Ralph, Melissa, Broo, and Schaeffer. How's your leg doing?
SOPHIA: Pretty good. Dr. Canard says I'll have to be in this cast for quite a few weeks.
BERT: (holds out pen) Can we sign it when they release ya, Soph?
SOPHIA: (giggles) Oh, Bert, of course you can.
BENTLEY: You really missed a great afterparty at the Blue Spruce Cafe! We had all kinds of food Schaeffer and my dad got to serve: Tomato-Alfredo Bisque, pizza, the snow cream balls...
BERT: Everybody loved 'em! (hands a plate of snow cream balls to SOPHIA) Oh, which reminds me: I saved some for ya before I left the Raccoondominium.
SOPHIA: Thanks, Bert. (eats one) Mm...say, these are good.
CEDRIC: Melissa served the hot chocolate.
LISA: And we had a live band on open mike night, where I wowed the crowd singing "Restless in the Night".
SOPHIA: You sure have quite a beautiful voice.
LISA: Thank you! And, Sophia...uh, you know it's always been your dream to win a gold medal in the Olympics, right? Well, I thought I'd give you...(presents her a package for SOPHIA) this.
SOPHIA: For me?
SOPHIA opens the package and gasps at what she sees: LISA's gold medal and a note.
SOPHIA: Oh, Lisa, your gold medal? (reads the note) "To the true winner and best figure skater of the Evergreen Forest: Sophia Tutu. Feel better soon! From, Lisa Raccoon." Aw, gee...that's so sweet...but how?
LISA: Well, to tell you the truth, that was the very first gold medal I ever won. Bert won a gold medal when he and I competed in the Annual Evergreen Triathlon.
SOPHIA: There was a triathlon? Aw, I missed it! I should get out more often.
BERT: Yeah, and uh, I felt pretty sorry for Lisa here that I mailed it over to her, 'cuz I thought she'd deserve it more than I would.
CEDRIC: And if it wasn't for Bert taking your place at the last minute, Lisa would've been eliminated.
BENTLEY: We didn't wanna leave you or Lisa disgraced, Sophia; we just wanted to see you clinch the competition.
LISA: That's why I'm passing it on to you, Sophia...a loyal friend, a humble skating coach, and a faithful partner.
Everyone gives SOPHIA a group hug.
SOPHIA: (sniffs) Gee...that's the most touching thing I've ever heard. Thank you, everyone, you really are great friends...the best of friends...
The camera trucks out from the group and we FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
