Dear lovely, faithful, talented young people of FF,

I have been away for almost a full year (not that you missed me) and I'm not going to attempt giving any crappy excuses. All I have to say is that I'm sorry I left you for this long. But, there are circumstances to my return. Because of events 6 months ago, I have a quarter leisure time and so I will not be able to reply to any reviews (I'll try), read any stories or review them(again, I'll try), because of my obsession with this site last year, and I can't afford to go back to that, as it badly affected my marks.

Now, I apologise for any content you may count as... graphic. For those you think babies come from shops or fall from the sky, stop reading NOW. Alternatively, you can ask your parents about sex. Also, I'd like to apologise (and I'm being serious now)for anyone who has been through anything in this story, which may affect them emotionally, I really am sorry since it's pretty insensitive- but it's part of the story.

Finally, I'm really sorry to all those who tried to keep in touch with me and I didn't reply. So, this story is dedicated to:

Emily, Megan, Nicole


Oh, is it... um, lust?

Hardwood floors and mosaic tiled tables surrounded Susannah Simon; her blue summer dress hanging just above her knees and the chest being low cut just enough for it to look seductive, but not slutty. Goose pimples popped up on her bare arms and legs as a cool breeze fluttered through the door she had just opened. Susannah's painted red painted lips spread into a wide, excited, pleasant smile as she spotted two of her best friends sitting at one of the artistically small tables, gazing into each other's eyes amusedly, and huge grins plastered on their faces. Adam McTavish turned from Cee Cee Webb and looked directly at her, who was beginning to feel apprehensive holding her tiny white purse. Her winked at her jokingly and motioned for her to sit in front of the couple. Cee Cee had followed Adam's gaze and gave an excitable glance intended only for Susannah.

"Cee!" Susannah rushed to the table, almost tripping over her own feet. "Oh my god, it's so great to see you! How long have you been gone now? I've missed you so much!" She embraced her friend, almost crushing her back and choking her, but Cee Cee didn't seem to mind.

"Er, around 3 months I think. And I missed you too Suze."

"Tell me all about it," Adam intoned. "Can't a guy have his girlfriend for more than a minute?" Cee Cee squealed with happiness as Adam grabbed her round her waist, tickling her on her flat stomach. She turned and kissed him on the cheek quickly, before facing Susannah again who was now seated on one of the dainty chairs round the small 4 chaired table. Her white purse in her lap, jigging a little as Susannah impatiently made her foot dance.

"Who're we waiting for then Suze?" Cee Cee asked, her violet eyes bright.

"Oh, just Paul now," her eyes flickered to the door briefly.

"Great!" Cee Cee brightened even further. "I haven't spoken to him since before my last trip to China... and what was that, like 8 months ago?! Man we have loads to catch up on." Just as she finished speaking an enthusiastic Paul Slater poked his pretty head of highlighted hair through the bell-ringing door, blue eyes searching avidly for the threesome. He began jogging towards them, hugging Cee Cee tightly and man-slapping Adam's back (with Adam wincing slightly). He toned down a little when he saw Susannah. Crouching to get round to sit next to her, he smiled politely, resting his hand for a millisecond and pulling back as if she was on fire.

"You look nice Suze." Then realising the other two companions were in front of him he added, "You all look nice." Cee Cee winked knowingly, her snow white hair shimmering like a thousand diamonds in the light of the sun. She took his hands in her own and squeezed them, exclaiming how she had so much to tell him. And with that, the two long lost friends started a deep conversation, both of them looking like hyper children being given sweets with extra E-numbers.

Susannah glanced at Adam as he moved his eyes to the left, where they both knew the toilets were round the corner. Susannah sighed. Her Emerald eyes looked guiltily down at the plate of fries in between the four, served as a cheap starter. Suddenly Adam stood up,

"I think I need to whizz." He said nonchalantly. Cee Cee giggled,

"Ew, Adam!"

Susannah stood up almost reluctantly,

"Yeah, I, er, need to freshen up." She smiled weakly at Paul and Cee Cee before extracting herself from their tight squeeze. She and Adam made their way to where the separate toilets were. Susannah could feel Adam's eyes on her- or rather her ass. And she wasn't going to lie, she liked how it felt. But as she placed her hand on the ladies room door to push it open, and was pulled back by Adam's firm but soft hand, she couldn't deny either that she wasn't drenched in regret and guilt.

Then again, when Adam did lead her into one of the men's room stalls, whispering in her ear how he needed her, how he wanted her, how it ached not being with her, Susannah willingly put down her white purse by the sinks and wedge herself into the stall.

She hardly felt anything but passion when Adam kissed her neck, her collarbone, his hands wandering down her back, running through her hair, telling her they had to be quick. But the passion wasn't for Adam. She wasn't thinking about him as he allowed her to wind her legs around him, or when he touched her thighs, or when he pulled the skirt of her dress up. She didn't protest when he stripped his lower half careful not to stop touching her, kissing her. All she could think about was-

Jesse.


Six minutes later, they emerged from the stall. Susannah with a sheen of sweat all over her, her legs shaking slightly from the thrill of having sex so shamelessly and publically. Adam, avoiding looking at her and washing his face quickly. He left the room first, mumbling he'd see her in a bit. Susannah stood in front of the mirror, having successfully covered any signs of her going through any physical exertion. She had re-applied her red lipstick, re-done her hair and placed a smile on her face, hating herself with every move she made.

This thing between her and Adam... it was something she couldn't resist to do. It wasn't because she felt anything for him. It was because she couldn't let go of her emotions in any other way. The thrill of cheating was so huge it satisfied her... only for a while. It's not that she didn't enjoy Adam, he was good, and she just didn't care for him like that. She didn't really know why he was cheating. She suspected it had something to do with the fact that he hadn't had Cee Cee around. But she was here now- maybe he just got used to how Susannah worked?

Susannah left the room, like it was evidence that might incriminate her. Both empty hands clutching at her dress anxiously she turned the corner, smiled and hurried over to her friends.

"What took you so long Suze?" Cee Cee asked, a smile in her voice. Adam was already sitting next to her, his arm around her waist.

Oh if only you knew, thought Susannah.

Paul stared at Susannah, like he'd seen her for the first time in months. The he stood up to let Susannah through. She sat down and thanked him. The Paul said,

"We should probably order something," then switching to his annoying, punch inducing face, he turned to the waitress, "Yoo Hoo! Boobs!" he called. The waitress turned round, not at all impressed and looking a little offended as she crossed her arms over her very big cleavage; this seemed to only make it bigger. She came over anyway, a small pad in her hand, and a pencil behind her ear. She took everyone's orders, and when Paul gave her a smack on her ass before she left, she didn't glare, she giggled, obviously transfixed by his perfect looks.

Cee Cee kicked Paul under the table,

"You bastard." And then she smiled, "I'm glad you've advanced from called them 'pretty boobies' though. Paul simply smirked. First their drinks came, and Paul's coke was so huge and he ordered so many, it wasn't a surprise he left to go to the toilet.

Susannah was just in the middle of talking to Cee Cee about one of the natives in a Chinese village when her heart started beating uncontrollably. Shit, she thought. She had left her purse in the men's room on the side of the sinks. Shit, shit, shit. She stood up and without a word rushed to the toilets, attempting to steal herself into the men's room, praying that the door wouldn't squeak or creak. But right ahead of her was a very pale Paul Slater, holding a delicate white leather purse, pearly beads all round the edge and opening flap of it, a tiny S.S. embroidered in the corner. Susannah closed her eyes in misery and felt her throat close up. Paul had already seen her and the purse.

"Er, so is there any way you can convince me that while you were in the ladies room a dog stole this from you and put it in the men's room so that I'm not convinced you and Adam just had se-"

"Stop!" Susannah raised her voice and tried to be firm but her voice was quivering. "Paul, you're one of my best friends. You have to understand, what Adam and I do... it doesn't mean anything; we don't even like each other like that."

"So, what, I like you but you won't even consider me? I don't even want you to sleep with me, I just want you to- Ok I do want you to sleep with me- but that's not the point. Why Adam?"

"Because, it wouldn't be fair on you if I lead you on, and with Adam it's no strings attached. Please," Susannah pleaded, "Please don't tell anyone. Please?"

Paul softened, and his ice blue eyes looked straight into her emerald ones, almost like x-rays. "Ok... but try and stop, Suze. Not for me, for Cee."

"Thank you."

"No, don't. I'm really disappointed Suze. You betrayed the one of the only people who really knows you. Well, I guess not." He left the room, making Susannah feel as though someone had just stabbed her heart a thousand times and wedged the blade out over and over again. Susannah was holding the purse Paul hand just handed to her on his way out. She made her way to the table, wiping her face and fanning it to stop it looking blotchy.


Review please