Disclaimer: The ER characters do not belong to me and neither does the
song "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel.
AND SO IT GOES

In every heart, there is a room,
A sanctuary safe and strong.
To heal the wounds of lovers past
Until a new one comes along.

There is a vast section of my heart that is filled with pain and fear.
Pain has come through past experiences when I would open up my heart to
people only to get it broken and ripped apart by those I loved. Fear has
come from all those advents, Fear of opening my heart to people, Fear of
getting hurt.

I spoke to you in cautious tones,
You answered me with no pretense.
And still I feel I said too much.
My silence is my self-defense.

When I met you I was filled with joy, the thought of having a friend, a
person to talk to, overwhelmed me with happiness. When you kissed me I
found a part of me I had thought I had lost forever. I finally felt
complete; I hadn't felt that way for a long time. But I was scared, this
was all new for me and it was going so fast. So I never spoke a word, I
thought that if I said something I might lose you. I didn't want that.

And every time I've held a rose,
It seems I only felt the thorns.
And so it goes, and so it goes,
And so will you soon, I suppose.

I had thought so many times before that my love would last. I could name
of countless boyfriends that I was sure were going to be the one, I can not
tell you how many times I have been used over the years. Then when I
finally found someone, my husband, who made life worth living he was torn
away from me. When I met you I was whole again, but that to wasn't meant
to be, I guess. And now your gone as well I suppose.

But if my silence made you leave,
Then that would be my worst mistake.
So I will share this room with you,
And you can have this heart to break.

I was scared. It was new to me and I was scared. In that room I couldn't
find my voice, I froze. If I could take all that back I would, but I
can't. And when I finally found my voice it was to late, I had already
lost you. My heart is breaking again. I want to blame you for this pain
that I felt, but I find I'm just blaming myself. If I hadn't been so
scared we would still be together. If I hadn't been so sacred... It was just
so fast, everything was happening so fast.

And this is why my eyes are closed.
It's just as well for all I've seen.
And so it goes, and so it goes.
And you're the only one who knows.

I close my eyes and all I can see is the expression on your face when I
didn't speak. You don't know how much it hurt me to see you that way; I
never wanted to hurt you. I loved you, I still do, and you knew that, or
did you?

So I would choose to be with you.
That's if the choice were mine to make.
But you can make decisions, too,
And you can have this heart to break.

In a perfect world I would still be with you. If I could have my way you
would be right here lying next to me forever and always. But that isn't
the way you wanted it. I can't really blame you; I hurt both of us beyond
repair that night. I wish it hadn't ended like this. My heart has broken,
and I don't think anyone will ever be able to fix it again.

And so it goes, and so it goes.
And you're the only one who knows.