To see the inspiration for this story, go to the Barats and Bereta website. Click on the video called "Completely Uncalled For" (I can't post links...grr.)

I do not own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mr. Mortu, the Shredder, Yoshi or Splinter. They belong to Eastman and Laird. I am using them for my own (and hopefully for others') amusement. I am not making any money off of this. No infringement is intendended.


The sudden burst of laughter from the previously silent lair went unnoticed. Raphael continued beating his sandbag, Leo kept his katas and Don slipped another screw into its designated space on the contraption on the table. No one even batted an eyelash. It wasn't like they never heard it before.

Common too, was the sudden emergence of amused and mischevious – never a good sign in this family – Michelangelo. Still giggling, he crossed the room at a run. He stood behind Raphael, bouncing on his toes, completely oblivious to his brother's vehement assault of the punching bag.

"Hey, Raph," he said, "Wanna hear a joke?"

Without pausing in his routine, Raphael gave a short, curt response. "No."

Anyone else might have run away, having gotten the message. Mikey was not intimidated. He had other plans, and he was determined to see them through.

"Please?"

"No, Mikey."

"But it's a really, really funny one! C'mon, Raphie, pleeeeeeease?'

Don and Leo exchanged glances.

"Don't make me tell ya again, Mikey. You won't like what happens."

"Please? I promise, its really funny. Knock knock."

For the first time, Raphael stopped his routine. The glare he gave the turtle on the other side of the punching bag would have frozen Long Island Sound in August or sent the Elite Foot Ninjas running for cover. Mikey remained unphased.

"C'mon, Raph! 'Knock knock…"

"I'll show ya 'knock knock' if you keep this up, Mikey. I mean it."

"But it's really funny! You'll like it! I promise."

Raphael took a quick glance over his brother's shoulder. Leo and Don, not nearly as immune to Mikey, were giving him desperate looks. Even Master Splinter, having emerged from his room with a cup of tea, looked at the end of his rope. Raph sighed.

"Fine. Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

Oh geez. Raphael rolled his eyes.

"I've heard it before, Mikey. Forget it."

"Nononono!" Mikey cried. "This is different! It gets better. I swear! Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrup-"

"Moo!" Mikey burst out laughing. Raphael rubbed his forehead and resisted the urge to turn his workout onto a more animate object than his sandbag.

"Nice."

"Knock knock."

Raphael looked at him. "You're kidding."

"Nono! It's funny, I promise. You'll see."

Whatever.

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting sloth."

"Interrupiting sl…what the shell? Oh geez."

As Raphael had begun his response, Mikey had taken his pointer finger and – very slowly – moved it to poke Raphael in the plastron.

"Funny. Real funny, shell-for brains."

"Knock knock."

"That's it," said Raphael. Don and Leo were watching the exchange with interest. "No more."

"Just one more, Raphie. I promise! One more, it's really funny and definitely worth it. Please?"

Raphael rolled his eyes, feeling tension begin to pull at the back of his eyes. This had better, he thought, be the funniest thing I've ever heard. Or else…

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting completely uncalled for."

"Interrupting-"

WHAP!

Raphael touched his cheek. Mikey, having slapped him across the face, was running at practically breakneck speed across the dojo. His giggles echoed off the walls and ceiling. Raph was numb from the shock. Don and Leo were dumbstruck. Splinter was holding back laughter.

"Mikey," he growled. He began to run after him. "I'll show you 'uncalled for,' Shell-for-brains. And you ain't gunna like it!"

The two remaining turtles watched his exit with wide eyes. For a moment, there was silence.