Yu-gi-oh Abridged the Zexaled series
Script: episode 9
Title: FuterBall Zexal
Cast: Yuma, Tori, Astral, Caswell, Bronk, Cathy, Mr. Kay, Kite, Orbital, The door, Orbital's Side Bitches
First scene is the logo of the show with
Astral : (narrating on the opening screen) Last time on Yugioh Abridged the Zexaled Series
Then cuts to a close up of Yuma in front of the school
Yuma: (in an uninterested voice) Kite showed up and he dueled Shark and took his soul and it was gay, and then he stole my key because Caswell's a dick.
Back to the opening screen
Astral: (narrating) Now back to this you clicked on by accident
Intro
The first scene opens in Sharks hospital room as everyone crowds around Shark
Yuma: Great, great this is just fantastic just absolutely amazing my frenemy lost his soul, I lost my key that not only is one of the only things I have to remember my parents by but also Astral and all because Caswell didn't want me to swim with it
Caswell: are you still blaming me
Yuma: if the boot fits
Caswell: you punched me!
Yuma: and you deserved for always being a stuck up smart guy asshole, not even a good one mind you
Caswell: come on guys back me up here
Cathy: no I agree with Yuma you jerk
Caswell: shocker, his stalker agrees with him
Bronk: I also agree you were kind of a dick
Caswell: I was just looking out for everyone's safety
Yuma: oh yeah were so safe now you know except for Shark, who just so happens to be the only person to actually give a shit about me, it's a nice feeling to know I have a real friend
Tori: is anyone going to mention how his hair is Turquoise?
Bronk: yeah most of these guys hair all turned white when this happened but his apparently turns turquoise
Yuma: great now I want to know how we will look when we are old like will my hair change from black and red to white and pink, you know what no back on topic, Caswell
Caswell: look all we have to do is find this Kite guy and get back your key and Sharks soul
Yuma: easier said than done, Kites basically card game Batman I wouldn't even know where to start so that's where you come in
Caswell: me
Yuma: yes you, because you caused this, so you Mr. smarty pants are going to find him or so help me YOU won't have another second of screen time, IF YOUR LUCKY
Caswell: ok ok, I think I know someone who can help
Next scene is inside of Kites lair with him and Orbital analyzing Yuma's key
Kite: Orbital what have you found out about the key (there is no response) Orbital (Kite then Realizes Orbital is asleep snoring) ORBITAL
Orbital: ah aha, I wasn't asleep
Kite: sure you weren't so what have you found out about the pendant
Orbital: Idunno
Kite: what do you mean you don't know
Orbital: it means I'm not well versed in magical necklaces
Kite: have you even run a scan on it
Orbital: of course I have, which is to say that I haven't as I don't know how to do that
Kite: you just push the scan button
Orbital: oh well why didn't you tell me that
Kite: I did
Orbital: well you're the one who designed me (Orbital then runs the scan)
Kite: and I regret it almost every day
Orbital: ok the scans done
Kite: my God orbital are you reading this
Orbital: no
Kite: (kite breaths out a heavy sigh through his nose) According to this that pendant has an extremely powerful gravitational field
Orbital: and that means
Kite: it means that this pendant contains a pocket dimension
Orbital: is that a thing, can that even be a thing
Kite: I'm not exactly sure but its not the first time it's happened
Orbital: oh right magic triangle puzzle, good times good times
Kite: I think I can get in there, we would only need a way to access it
Orbital: I guess it needs something of its origin like from Astral world
Kite: or Barian world
Orbital: right but we don't have either
Kite: but we do, like your Barian crystal
Orbital: woah whoa, you are not touching that, its my freakin power source I need it to live
Kite: we don't need the whole thing just a small chunk
Orbital: but that would take away like 20 years of my life
Kite: yeah out of 500,000 now give me the piece and if you don't I'm going to tear the whole crystal out of you, take the chunk myself to open the portal and when I get back use what's left of the crystal to build a new robot because I have had it with you today!
Orbital: ok jeez, you don't have to shout (Orbital takes out the Barian crystal and removes a chunk) ow (he then places it into the machine)
Kite: excellent now introduce the shard to the pendant and open the portal
Orbital: k (the crystal is introduced to the key and after a minute the portal is opened)
Kite: excellent, now I'm going in there you stay here and guard the place
Orbital: got it (Kite enters the portal)
Meanwhile, back at the school Yuma and the group have found Mr. Kay
Mr. Kay: so you want me to hack into the power grid so that you can find a necklace?
Yuma: and recover Sharks soul
Mr. Kay: that doesn't sound real
Caswell: it is real, you have to help us Mr. Kay
Mr. Kay: I want to help you kids but I don't think I can even do that
Caswell: yes you do remember the Crash bug virus you were in total control of the cities power grid and caused massive blackouts
Mr. Kay: Whhhhaaat? No that didn't, I mean Whhhaaat?
Yuma: yeah Caswell Whhhaaat? That never happened because there wasn't an episode about it and since it was off screen it never happened
Mr. Kay: yes exactly, what Yuma is saying
Yuma: but there's no reason as to why we couldn't say go back and do that episode
Mr. Kay: I'm sorry what
Yuma: well its not like going out of order is a new concept for abridged series so we could easily go back and do it
Mr. Kay: no no theres no reason to do that in fact how about I go ahead and help find what you're looking for
Yuma: great and also give me an A for the rest of the year
Mr. Kay: are you serious
Yuma: what should the episode be called, I know how does terrorism in the classroom sound
Mr. Kay: how about a C+
Yuma: B-
Mr. Kay: deal
Yuma: yes
Bronk: does that also apply to us
Mr. Kay: don't push it
Bronk: ok just checking
Next scene it cuts to Kite entering Astral domain
Kite: holy crap this pocket dimension is huge, and what the hell is that (Kite begins to make his way over to Astral' s "kaleidoscope")
In the "kaleidoscope"
Astral: what's going on not only did I barely have any lines last episode, but my Kaleidoscope's not working, and I can't leave for some reason, God damn it it's going to take a miracle to figure this out (just then he hears a doorbell ring) is someone at my door? Also I have a door bell
The scene changes to Kite standing just outside as Astral comes out
Kite: holy shit
Astral: hello
Kite: what the hell are you
Astral: oh ok so that's how were starting this, ok my name is Astral the guy nit being rude, and you must be Kite
Kite: how do you know that?
Astral: we've technically meet, well you meet my friend Yuma
Kite: the guy who has swords for hair and thought he was dead?
Astral: the very same, and now that we have introductions out of the way how and why are you in my…., well I call it a kaleidoscope
Kite: I was able to acquire this key by taking it from a guy with an octopus for a head
Astral: from Shark?
Kite: why do people call me that
Astral: I don't know but if it helps his real name is Reginald
Kite: HA! Any way point is I dueled him took his soul came here used a Barian crystal on the pendant and here I am
Astral: so not only are breaking and entering but you've also stolen something and basically killed a guy
Kite: I didn't kill him, although I suppose you can also add destruction of property and attempted murder but that's mostly Orbitals fault
Astral: great you know when I take someone's number I don't take there soul just the card and whatever evil they had in them, you just basically turn them into a vegetable thinking that that somehow helps
Kite: which brings me to why I'm here, I require the number cards and currently I'm supposed to be looking for the envoy from Astral world
Astral: I am Astral, and I have numbers, so I guess that would be me
Kite: good then I'll be taking them if you'd be so kind
Astral: well actually I need them because you see when I got here I apparently lost all of them along with my memories, and every time I've gotten one I regain a memory so sorry but not sorry
Kite: well that's too bad, I guess I have no choice but to duel you
Astral: why do you even want these things so bad you don't even use them
Kite: my reasons are my own besides taking them from you should be easy considering the last time, just this time it will be more direct as I'll be taking them from you and your shitty Nappa or Gilford Godfrey or whatever the hell kind of voice you have
Astral: woah ho ho there, first my voice isn't supposed to be a Nappa or even a Gilford Godfrey, it's a shitty Optimus Prime
Kite: o k
Astral: and two, just because you almost won last time doesn't mean you'll win this time, since our duel not only have both Yuma and I improved our dueling abilities we've also strengthened our deck
Kite: well then it sounds like your ready then
Astral: oh I am especially because for once I get to call all the shots so get prepared to uh be brought to, bring to, bought to, flow? Fuck it lets just do it
The scene changes this time to just outside Kites Lair
Caswell: ok this is where Mr. Kay was able to track the huge power surge to
Bronk: a random ass warehouse kind of thought it was going to be you know more flashy
Yuma: I don't care, we have to get my key and Astral by extension back
Tori: and Sharks soul to right Yuma
Yuma: I guess to be honest I don't know if I can even get it back, I mean I'll try but, any way let's get in there
Next scene is of Orbital at the computer with the portal
Orbital: (singing) AAAALLL ORBITAL, AAAALLL ORBITAL I SAI ITTALLL (suddenly an alarm goes off) what the (a screen then appears showing Yuma and the group entering the facility) oh great now I have to work
Next scene is back with the Group in the halls as Orbital's voice comes over the P.A.
Orbital: Attention meat bags
Bronk: holy shit was that Jake the Dog?
Tori: I Hope so I love Adventure Time
Orbital: no you retards I'm Orbital
Cathy: so you have Jakes voice then?
Orbital: well I guess technically but…, you are currently trespassing in this facility and more importantly on my free time
Yuma: were not leaving until I get my key back
Orbital: hey I stole that thing which means legally its mine
Yuma: that's not how that works
Orbital: it is for robot law
Yuma: well fine then well just "steal" it back then
Orbital: hey, no one steals back the stuff I stole from me, now because I am feeling rather nice and also lazy I will give you the chance to simply (the continue running down the hall and the scene goes back to Orbital talking to them on the screen) hey no no ahh damit, that's it tried to be nice but now I'm sending in my side bitches
Yuma: he's sending in his what now? (suddenly the two robots emerge and attack the group as the scatter)
Orbital: meet my side bitches, my regular bitches are out of town, so I got these ones today, now ladies if you'd be so kind as to murder the crap out of these humans we can get back to me watching you oil wrestling
Orbital's side Bitches: we love you Orbital hon
Orbital: shut up baby I know it (they countine to attack the group)
Bronk: I tell you this Jake has some weird taste in woman
Caswell: Bronk have you seriously not seen futurama?
Bronk: the hells futurama?
Caswell: well now we know what we're doing this weekend
Cathy: less talky more fighty (everyone begins to doge and try to distract the robots)
Yuma: woah (he then back flips twice away) Back Flip Back Flip (he then realizes he went to close to the other robot) OK one too many (he then front flips once) front flip
Tori: Yuma well handle these bitches go find Astral
Yuma: got it thanks
Caswell: wait I didn't agree to this AHH (Caswell doges an attack)
Next scene is back at Kite and Astral duel
Astral: ha try getting passed my golem you bitch
Kite: I will with my Revers Buster (Gogogo Golem is destroyed)
Astral: ha perfect because with my Gogogo Giant I can revive Golem, and now I can… uh (Astral stares at kites field and notices his face down) uumm
Kite: what's wrong aren't you going to summon your Utopia?
Astral: I might, or I might not
Kite: oh let me guess you're afraid of my big bad facedown aren't you
Astral: maybe
Kite: oh yeah after all this could be a card that could make you lose right now or maybe its not maybe it does something that doesn't even matter to you, but you know wat you make that choice go ahead
Astral: uhhhhhh uhhhh um I end my turn
Kite: aw to much pressure
Astral: no I just chose to fortify my defense this round
Kite: well to fucking bad because my face down was the spell Hey, Trunade and yes that's its actual name (Photon Hurricane is replaced with Hey, Trunade)
Astral: a quick play spell?
Kite: nohoo no, it's a normal spell that sends all the face downs on the field back to your hand
Astral: aw it was a bluff, the onetime it's an actual bluff, and Yuma totally would have taken that
Kite: uh now say good buy to your monster (Gogogo Giant is destroyed) better luck next time
Astral: I will have better luck because now I overlay Gogogo Golem and Kagetokage and xyz summon Number 39 Utopia (Utopia is summoned)
Kite: good you finally stopped being a pussy and grew some balls
Astral: I don't have a pussy… or balls… or a penis .. or even an ass, in fact I am fairly certain I was created by magic
Kite: ok stop talking about whatever the hell your saying
Astral: I'm sorry I've only really ever talked with Yuma so I'm not a very good conversationalist
Kite: well you could start by not being retarded
Astral: ok now your just being mean and just or that you take this (Astral flips Kite off) do you feel it the ultimate sting
Kite: Riveting, I think I'll counter that by summoning my Ace monster Galaxy-eyes Photon Dragon (Galaxy-eyes is summoned) your Utopia is no match for him
Astral: he may not be a match for him but uh (he reads the card) C 39 Utopia Ray should be (Utopia Ray is summoned)
Kite: the fuck, how did you summon that, also C39 what's the C for?
Astral: I think Chaos, to be honest this is only the second time its been used so give me a minute
Next scene is of Yuma running through the halls on the way to the control room
Yuma: don't worry Astral I'm almost their I think
Orbital: (appearing from behind the door) hold it right there
Yuma: its kite's time freezing robot
Orbital: ok first of all my name is Orbital and second I don't freeze time I slow it down
Yuma: oh my God no one cares, now get out of my way
Orbital: I don't think so, normally by this point I probably would have stop caring by this point, but I might have pissed Kite off one to many times today so I'm going to have to stop you
Yuma: I don't have time for this and I'm not scared of the little (Orbital then transforms into his giant version) and you can transform
Orbital: yeah so what were you saying
Yuma: oh I was saying your so big and strong and not to mention hilarious
Orbital: yeah that's what I thought and now I'm a evisorate you yu worthless meatbag (Orbital Strikes at Yuma and Yuma dodges, this happens a few more times) got you now, kill all humans (Yuma doges the last attack as Orbitals drill deactivates and gets stuck in the wall) ge ge ok no problem I'll just use my drill and my drill isn't working, ok give me a second (Orbital continues to struggle to loosen his drill to no success as Yuma watches, he then gets bored and runs to the control room) hey where you going, you trying to make my look bad (Orbital tries to get free one more time) damit ah well might as well as crack open a fresh.., I'm out of beer, well time to do what I always do when I get stuck in the wall and am out of beer (orbital then breaks down crying uncontrollably as he also calls for Kite) AHH WAAAAH AHWA KIITE E KITE E KIIITTE
Yuma has now made it to the control room
Yuma: astral I'm what the fuck (he enters the room to see the huge portal then suddenly his key shines a bright light and Yuma is teleported to an old location) what the
The Door: you
Yuma: huh (Yuma now realizes he is back in front of the door he meet in the first episode) you fucking DOOR! I thought I was rid of you
The Door: greeting once again young Tsukmo, how are you?
Yuma: well it hasn't been the best day
The Door: aw that sucks, so you want to open me again
Yuma: what no, you offered me dark powers the last time and I didn't get any of those
The Door: no I told you that I'd make It, so you wouldn't suck at card games
Yuma: yeah and I'll I got was a ghost that was only half way decent at the game and learned how to play it right from someone else, so as much as I respect Astral and value him as a friend you have at most given me a shitty room mate
The Door: ok but this time will be different
Yuma: how so?
The Door: I'll make you a Super Saiyan
Yuma: I – what the hell does that mean you'll make me a Super Saiyan, that doesn't make any sense, could you elaborate?
The Door: ok you know what fuck it I'll open myself up and give you the power (the door opens)
Yuma: oh so know you can open yourself, OH SHIT (Yuma is sucked through the door)
Next scene we return to Astral and Kites duel
Astral: (as he still figures out how to use Utopia Ray) ok so maybe I can or maybe (as he says this it pains over to a very annoyed looking Kite, then suddenly they hear a scream) the fuck is that? (Astral then realizes its Yuma and he is enveloped in a red light and falling from the sky screaming) Yuma how'd you get here why are you in the sky (Suddenly Astral is also enveloped in a blue light and he begins to move towards Yuma) what's happening no no nononono (he is hurled towards Yuma as they both scream and suddenly collide with a bang then out of the light appears Yuma in the Zexal outfit)
Kite: what the hell Tsukmo? How did you get here and what are you wearing what happened to Astral and why is your hair yellow?
Yuma: what my hair is … holy shit that door it wasn't lying I REALLY AM A SUPER SAIYAN, and that means (Yuma takes position as it looks like he's going to fire a Kamehameha) Ka Me
Kite: um wait what?
Yuma: Ha Me
Kite: o-ok hold on
Yuma: HAAAAAAAA (Kite looks like he braced himself for an attack but then the both realize that nothing happened) aw it didn't work
Kite: this has been the weirdest fucking day
Yuma: Maybe If I ty again
Astral: (from inside Yuma's head) YUMA
Yuma: Astral, where are you I can hear you, but I can't see you, and that's a little more concerning
Astral: I'm speaking to from inside your brain, because we have merged together to form the mighty Super Saiyan Duelist known as Zexal
Yuma: hey that's the name of the show
Astral: exactly, but because this is Yugioh we can't shoot Kamehameha's
Yuma: aw, then what can we do
Astral: the next best thing we, Can Chat at a Card Game
Yuma: alright, now Kite this time you face both the full force of Astral and myself so prepare for defeat go SHINNING DRAW (he does a shining draw) behold Zexal Weapon Unicorn Spear
Kite: wait I don't get it what's happening
Yuma: your about to lose because thanks to Unicorn Spear it equips itself to Utopia Ray and makes it, so Galaxy-Eyes can't use its abilities meaning I can destroy it
Kite: what
Yuma: Utopia Ray attack with Unicorn strike (Utopia Ray attacks And Destroys Galaxy-Eyes)
Kite: GALAXY-EYES, damn it but I'm not beat just yet I activate Photon Shock causing us to both lose
Yuma: what ( Both of there life points are reduced to zero) ok that was just a dick move, oh shit Astral are you ok?
Astral: I'm fine Yuma because we didn't technically lose I don't die
Kite: that's it I'm done with today you can take your stupid key back and just leave and just because I don't want you following me you can even have Reggie's soul back as well
Yuma: oh sweet, wait does that mean you can give them all back then
Kite: shut up leave me alone I'm out of here
Yuma: well I guess we should probably get out of here two huh Astral
Astral: yeah that be smart
Yuma: we can split up right
Astral: oh yeah
Next scene Kite is out of the key and standing in the hall of the control room
Kite: oh my god that sucked Orbital where are
Orbital (off screen, still sobbing) Kite I got stuck in the wall again can you please help me I'm scared
Kite: and that would be how this day ends
The next scene is of the group outside the ware house
Tori: Yuma oh thank God you're alright
Caswell: and look he got his key back
Yuma: shut it Caswell
Caswell: ok
Bronk: so did you beat Kite
Yuma: to be honest Astral dueled him, I showed up at the end and it ended in a draw but next time Astral and I will be dueling side by side from the start, so he won't stand a chance
Astral: that's a good way to look at it
Yuma: now let's get out of here like how we always end the episode.
End of Episode
