Hello everyone! This is a little drabble about my favorite pairing from the series that I wrote some time ago. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: Shinsekai Yori belongs to Yusuke Kishi, not me.
He had dreamt about him again. The faceless boy. The one he knew that existed, that was a part of his life, that he deeply loved. Even so he felt miserable because these feelings weren't strong enough to remember him. Even though he was sure he loved him with all his heart.
Satoru woke up worried once again. It had been ten years since he forgot that important person – more like forced to forget him. Every day he tried to remember his face, his name, any detail so he could be something more than a ghost, a diffused shadow into his mind.
He had asked Saki for help countless times. But, despite having forgotten about him, she had Maria. She had someone with her so the loss was less striking. Not like him. He was even obsessed with this mysterious boy. Even when there was a kind of tension between Saki and him, both fell in love with someone else while this unsolved matter still existed. It wasn't strange to love more than one person in a different way. But Satoru loved this boy in a way he only could describe as overwhelming – a perfect balance of love and passion. He completed him like no one else did, even if he was still too young to fully understand it back then. He wondered if it was like the unconditional love that Maria felt for Saki, that Mamoru felt for Maria (altough she didn't love him back). The last was probably the purest one of all.
Satoru didn't know how many times he had hit the pillow, frustrated, trying to drown these feelings that overcame him. He was consumed with uncertainty as if he was sick and slowly dying. The worst thing was the lack of answers and the fact that he couldn't get them anywhere. On the contrary, the ones who hadn't forgotten him acted as if he never existed. He felt desperated and hopeless. But he didn't stop trying, even when he was drowning deeper and deeper in his recurring, senseless nightmares.
Would this boy, his ghost, think about him too? Would he remember all of them? Would he spend his days into heartbreaking darkness? Would he miss him? Would he dream about his clear and defined face? Would he remember the strong feelings that tied them once? Would he try to look for him too? He wished it was true. He wished at least he appeared in his dreams to whisper his name so he would have an identity and he would stop being a greyish smudge. Sometimes, he saw him even when he was awake. Could it be him calling? Would he want to reach him as desperately as Satoru wanted to reach him? He was sure of one thing only – he was alone. Saki and Maria cared only about each other. Mamoru thought only about the redhaired girl. None of them seemed to care about their missing friend.
He need to know the truth. Ten years were too much time but he wasn't able to forget him. His heart refused to let him go forever. He couldn't lose him, who he had loved so much, even if the whole world tells him he must. No one could control his feelings but him. He didn't understand much how the world worked, he didn't know about the secrets the adults kept, he didn't know why they erased certain people from existance. He wouldn't stop, though. He seemed to remember that the boy said he was sick when he bid farewell. How could everyone abandon him and turn their backs on him? Maybe it was late but he would help him. He couldn't be without him one more single day. He didn't care about the risks he needed to take nor the rules he needed to break.
No one ever knew, but it was the reason Satoru wasn't ever seen again. Saki suspected, but never said anything. She feigned ignorance during the interrogations, like the rest of them. However, when she was alone, when she missed him the most, she wished with all his heart for Satoru to find his mysterious boy. She hoped they were together wherever they were and they remained together for the rest of their lives.
