Alright, so first I'd like to state that this is a cross-posting of something I've been writing and posting over on A03, though I've been posting it under the name sassycatpants on that site.

This is basically a collection of oneshots set in an AU FFVII 'verse, and are all loosely connected; it's currently 20 chapters long and I am basically uploading a new chapter over there every few days or so as I get ideas. I'll be posting a chapter or two a day here every few days until I catch up to what's on A03, and from then on will be posting to both sites at same time. I'm basically copy-pasting already posted chapters from A03 up until chapter 20 at the minimum, so if I sometimes have author's notes that make no sense, assume that is a result of that. (That said, the A03 version is my preferred, as I have ability to do things like strikeouts, which I have used at least once and will need to figure out how to imply this version.)

This collection is also basically a gift set for Luci'en, my RP Cloud partner, among other things, and the one I am basing Cloud off of. This entire thing was his fault in the beginning and always will be.


"Sorry, sorry, I just-"

"Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry! Cloud is just... not very intimidating for a dragon, don't you think?" Zack covered his mouth, choking back the laughter before the dragon got really irritated and actually resorted to using fire to make his point. Said dragon-Cloud- just glowered, huffing angrily down at the SOLDIER; once he was sure he was watching, the dragon very pointedly picked up Buster sword in his claws and used it as a toothpick.

"'Zack' is a terrible name for a princess," he began irritably. "So you have absolutely no place to be laughing at me!"

"Yeah, but I'm not a-"

"It's a terrible princess name," Cloud continued, completely ignoring Zack. "So I'm changing it, alright? From now on your name is... Is..." He paused, thinking. "Tifa!" he declared finally.

"But isn't that-"

"Exactly." Smugly Cloud dropped the Buster sword to the side, dropping his large head to get closer to Zack's eye level. "And she's very nice, you know. Brings me all sorts of tasty food to eat in return for not eating any of the villagers, and she'd make a nice princess, I think. But you're the one I'm stuck with, so I'll just call you Tifa too. Maybe you'll learn some manners if I do it often enough."

Somehow, Zack really doubted that was how things worked-maybe he'd ask Tifa to explain though. (He would prefer not to find out just how flammable his hair was, thanks.)