Chapter I

Oh, God. I can't believe Brian, like, wrote that. I mean, why would someone do that? And, how can you give someone someone else's writing, and, like, feelings, and crap, and call it your own? It's so wrong. On, like, so many levels. It's so sad. I can't believe them. Jordan and Brian.

I finally fell asleep after what felt like forever. I don't even remember falling asleep. But I woke up. So, that's how I know. But then, I realized I had school. Brian would be there. You know, I never thought of Brian, like, being there before. He just was. And he will be. And I'll have to see him. And Jordan too. I just wanted to go back to sleep. Because… Then I could avoid them. And what they did. Everything.

But then my mom came in. So I had to go. Not to school. As long as they didn't find out. Maybe Ricky would skip with me. My Dad's restaurant's not set-up yet, so he might pop-in. I could stay home sick. But… I don't want to be alone. But I don't want to talk to anyone, either.

So, I left my house. The bus came to pick me up. I didn't get on it, though. Brian would be on it. I hid in the bushes until it left. I didn't want Brian to see me. He might get off, and, like, say something. After it left, I walked to school.

When I got to school, I put my backpack into my locker. Then I sat in a windowsill, or something. Waiting. Only, I didn't know what I was waiting for. Then Ricky came and sat down beside me. Then the bell rang. Ricky stayed. He didn't say anything, though. I wished he would. Something to distract me from thinking about it. Then he did.

'So, Angela. Weather's nice, huh?'

It had started to rain a few minutes ago. Only I didn't notice until just then. So, I don't know how I know how long it had been raining. It didn't matter. It was raining hard. I was grateful, though. That he spoke.

I didn't respond. Ricky took this as his cue to stop talking. I wished he wouldn't. Then the bell rang again. Ricky stood up.

'I have English now so…' No! Don't leave me! Please, just stay here. For a little while longer. Please.

'Mr. Katimsky'll notice if I'm not there. I have to go, Angela. I'm sorry… I'll be back. I promise.' Fine. Go. Part of me wanted didn't want him to come back. But mostly I did.

'Bye, Angela.' Ricky left. 'I'm sorry!' he called. The bell rang again. I didn't notice when the halls were full. But I noticed when they were empty.

Then I realized that I didn't have any friends left. I had pushed everyone away. My family, too. The only person I had left was Ricky. And I just let him go. I had pretty much pushed Sharon away. And Brian. And my family. I had wanted to change. Like that book. What's it called...? The bug one. They were holding me back. Except I don't know from what.

But I met new people. Ricky and Rayanne. And Jordan. But there was the thing with Rayanne and Jordan…. And the thing with Brian and Jordan. Ha. I made it sound like Jordan and Brian are together. Oh, god. There're not…? No. No. No! Definitely no. Jordan gave me a love letter. And Brian wrote it. No way are they together. But they do spend a lot of time together. No. Right? No!

But… Still. The only friend I have left is Ricky. And he's gone. I'm all alone. I hate it. Then Rayanne walked by. Why wasn't I friends with her? I made up with Jordan. But that was only because he gave me the love letter. That Brian wrote. I didn't know what to do. So I just stared. And Rayanne stared back. We just stayed that. For, like, an eternity. Then she walked over.

'Yo, Angelica.' I didn't say anything. Just stared. It was all I could do.

She sat down beside me. I looked down. I couldn't look at her anymore.

'I heard… about… what those two did.' Said Rayanne.

'What! How did you…?' I kind of trailed off. It was the first thing I had said all day. Wow.

'Tino, you know.' The only way Tino would know is if… Right? I didn't say anything else.

'Angela, are you okay? 'Cause, you know I'm here for you, right? Angela?' I think she wanted to touch me. To comfort me, I mean. I don't think she knew if she was allowed to. But she was. I wasn't mad anymore.

I collapsed onto her shoulder, and started crying. I didn't know why. I was confused. Maybe that was why.

'Oh… Angelica. It's okay. It's okay…' I don't think she knew what was okay. But then, I didn't know what was wrong. But she cared. And it was nice.