A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . .

Somewhere on the planet Eufornis Major, Lienad Sinjohn, a tall humanoid with dark brown hair, read the news of Luke Skywalker's passing on Tweeter, one of the galaxy's most popular social media platforms.

"No! This can't be!" Lienad shouted, almost falling off his couch.

"What?" asked I8-12, his silver protocal droid.

"My heroes are all failures."

"What are you talking about?"

"Han, Luke, and Leia. They're all failures," said Lienad.

"I'm still not following."

"Okay. Stay with me here. I grew up with these three characters, watching them save the galaxy from the tyranny of the Empire and thinking that anything was possible. I mean, other than the princess, was there ever a more unlikely collection of heroes?"

"So far so good."

"Right. So then, all these years later, I find out that Han and Leia didn't end up living together happily ever after. Not only that, but their son turned out to be the second coming of the devil. Then there's Luke, the supposed savior of the Jedi. He failed miserably at bringing back the Jedi Order, gave up, became a hermit, and then . . . just . . . died."

"Well . . . he did sort of save the rebellion before dying."

"Yeah, about that . . . Princess Leia took the Rebellion from the brink of toppling the Empire to just a couple dozen survivors lost in a cavern on Crait. How's that for some terrible leadership? She makes the Emperor look good in that department."

"Aren't you being a bit harsh?"

"Am I?"

"Well, sure. There's a new group of heroes out there leading the charge for all that's right in the galaxy. Rey. Finn. Poe," said the droid.

"And what makes them so special? Why should I believe they're special? Han, Luke, and Leia sure weren't."

"Um . . . hope . . . and stuff," the droid said in a very un-droid-like manner.

"That's what they said about Luke. A new hope. It's all meaningless, every last bit of it."

"Don't be so glum, Lienad. After all, they're only stories."