I kissed her, and it was like everything I once knew was wiped away, all except one thing; her.

Sometimes I want to call her, just like how sometimes I want to see her and kiss her. Just like how I want to hear her voice, again.

But I hold her hand, and it's almost like everything that we once were was wiped away.

Almost.

So close.

A millimeter from the top of the world.

And I think she knows that, but for one second we are on top of the world, and that's all that matters; just that one second in nirvana.

She's always in the back of my mind, smiling, swinging our hands together as we walk. But now I have a girlfriend, and it's like we're on top of the world

Like.

I didn't tell her but I would never regret seeing her the other day.

I was strolling down the street, going to my girlfriend's work, dropping off flowers. What could I say, I was in love. But it was always true what they said, "You never forget your first love." She was forever in the back of mind.

I try so hard not to think of her, and I manage to do so when I'm with her.

We live in a small apartment together. One bedroom, one bathroom, small kitchen, and small living space. Everything is straight and tidy, just the way we both like it.

That was one difference between her and her. My two loves.

She was always so untidy. Leaving splotches of paint on the floor, which were currently still there. I never had the time to wash it out.

Sometimes I stare at the marks, thinking of the time when she still lived here.

I had turned down the corner, going into the regular flower shop that I always bought flowers at.

The sidewalks were smudged with dirt and dried out, stepped on, gum. I found it so disgusting. I just wish I could make it perfect, all beautiful. Like no one had ever stepped foot here. As if I could erase all the people who ever stepped on the pavement.

She always said that she wished that she could paint the pavement, paint the history of all the different people who walked it. Paint their stories.

I still stand by what I said. I just wish I could erase her.

I stopped by the shop with a grin, waving at the owners, who always expected me at this time- 12:03. As I glanced down at my watch, I realized that it was not, in fact, 12:03 p.m, but 1:03 p.m.

I'm late, I had thought panicked. I rushed to the clerk and smiled, trying to hide my worry. Except, no had been there at the reception desk.

I rang the bell, sighing in annoyance. Could they make me anymore late, I had thought with an eye roll.

I closed my eyes to keep my anger in check, my blonde hair fell in front of my face, shielding me for the gut-wrenching squeeze that was about to happen.

I looked and saw her. Her eyes, like mine, had been wide in shock and surprise.

"Hi," she said smiling widely. I knew she had felt awkward. Hell, it was very awkward. Especially based off on how she left me.

"Hey," I replied, seemingly, smoothly. Anyone who knew me could tell I was beyond nervous at the encounter. But her response was enough. She had bought it.

Her whole demeanor had changed, becoming less tense and awkward and more loose and happy. "What are you doing here?" She asked, grinning.

"Well, I decided to use some money and buy some flowers for my girlfriend."

I looked at her steadily. I had imagined this moment for years. I was sure, no matter what, that my heart would speed up, and I would be hot. I was sure that I would feel some remorse for letting her go, but I didn't.

She needed to go- for the both of us.

She became a famous artist who owned many shops across New York but lived in California.

I thought I would still love her. I had realized, then, that if she had loved me as strongly as we thought we did, then she wouldn't have left and been free, because if we were so in love, then we would have been free with just the two of us.

I fell in love with someone who I could share my OCD with; someone who was happy to remind me to take my pills, just like I would her.

We are not in love, I had realized. We were fools who were caught up in lust.

But I have no doubt that we were, at one point, in love. That's why she couldn't write more than those three words. I had realized it all then, at that encounter.

I'm free, I thought when I came home with my girlfriend this afternoon. After a kiss in the park at midnight, It was a surprise picnic, we came home. I'd never regret that encounter with her. She set me free.

I walked out of the bathroom with cleaning supplies, ready to clean out that stain. To erase. To erase her.

I got down on my knees and scrubbed. After ten minutes, she came out of the shower, her red hair was wet and her skin cold.

She smiled at me and showed me a towel that she was holding behind her back. She came over and helped me scrub. She was scrubbing away my past.

After another twenty minutes of flinging water and soap at ourselves, we got the stain out. We kissed once seeing how spotless the floor was.

I went to a show box that I kept deep in the closet and scrounge around for a small piece of paper. Next to the piece of paper was a ring box. I was going to propose at the right time.

I unfolded the paper and read the few sentences in my head. The letter she left me with.

Dear Jace,

Honey, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you I love you.

Love, your soon to be famous artist.

You read right, Honey, I love you, was all she wrote. How she wounded me!

I ripped the paper up and put the pieces away in the box.

I came out off the room to see her on the perfect black couch that was against the wall next to the door of our bedroom. I sat down next to her and kissed her. It was passionate and full of love. It was perfect...