"I get it, you know." Artemis sighs from his perch on the dashboard. Rusty as the old 4Runner is, it's surprisingly clean and free of dust. His lips tense and he turns off the radio, hardened grey eyes peering forward at the darkening road in front of them.
"You don't. You don't get it at all. You never did, not even when you needed to." Artemis peers surprised at Khai, wordless and anxious to hear whatever burning insult the reincarnated Warlord of the Golden Rose has to throw at him, but it doesn't come. "It doesn't matter now. It did back then, but it's too late to correct certain misunderstandings. We were all ignorant, even me."
"To be fair, are you even still the same person? You were given a new body, a new life."
"Taken all the same. That witch is dead, but it doesn't change the fact that she's taken everything from me. My family is gone, my soul ripped from my body and tainted before it was ever my own or given the chance to be anything less than ruined. And her." It still stings to talk about after all these years, but what remains left unspoken aloud presents itself to him in nightmares. Artemis probably frowned if he could, ears drooping, green eyes cast to the side watching the buildings and neon lights turn to dim streetlights and darkened shoreline. "Again, it doesn't matter now. If all I am is just another businessman she serves coffee to every morning, I'll be content with that. I'll have to be."
"Mamoru will think differently when you're in his court. You'll have to work with her." His tail thumps impatiently against the dash and he yawns, curling in on himself to nap. It's warm where the vents ease a heated breeze against his fur and clearly, Artemis is finished with the conversation. Khai's fingers tighten on the steering wheel, and the small cat doesn't see it.
He has nothing to retort back anyway. Artemis has never liked him in any incarnation out of sheer protectiveness as a guardian of Venus. Even now Khai suspects there's guilt there on his side too. Guilt for failures of his own in this life where he couldn't save her from Danubrite, or even his own puppeteered incarnation as Kunzite, and the mounting failure that seems to pile up beneath her.
In the Silver Millennium, Khai donned that name with pride as a Middle Eastern King. It saved his life when he was born. A beautiful, pale stone that meant true love and affection, connectivity of souls and soul mates. It's everything he wishes he could have been, not just for Venus, but for Endymion as well. He fucked that up from the start of course, turning into some well-meaning quasi tyrannical leader who tried his best to not feel anything at all. Some things haven't changed of course. He still likes his bourbon a bit too much and while he is no longer an unfeeling wall of stone, Khai often wishes he could be. It would be so much easier if he could just turn off the emotion. He blames Saitou for that but admires the man he might have been.
For all the lives he's lived, Khai knows that he was that man once. Artificially, Saito was the closest thing he knows of himself to be real. The irony isn't lost on him that Saitou was the fakest version of himself, but thinks he'd easily be that man without the burden of a past life and an overly tainted soul. He was brash, charismatic, charming, and above all, not afraid to be himself. Khai feels justified that he is still quick to anger, still demands respect of those around him by means of intimidation, but that's never changed. Khai has to force himself to perform the music he's written, it forces him to reach for that normalcy that might have been Saitou had things gone much differently.
He can contemplate himself vainly for days and has before with the knowledge that there is more than just his tortured soul and about four incarnations of himself to ponder. It's all part of a much bigger machine, one that centers around their journey to Crystal Tokyo, the rise of his King, and to Hell with his trauma. That is his burden to bear, and he swears he'll bear all of their sins if it meant Mamoru forgave him and he could find some absolution from the soul-crushing guilt he feels with every breath of air he takes. But as he parks beneath a tree by the pier and spies her lonely figure sitting at the edge of the dock, he knows that there are some sins that can't be cleansed in forgiveness. He's done more harm to some than others.
All of her friends are looking for her currently. She's known to ghost on them every now and then, and her friends worry now that they know more about what she's been through. Aino Minako is a vivacious woman, more beautiful than any person has a right to be and reckless sometimes when she's lost the iron-like grip she keeps on her daily persona. Her smile beams brightest when it's genuine but he knows that isn't as often as people think. Sovereign of Love or not, she's lost her shine when it comes to ambitions of her own heart. Being Venusian herself on some level, toyed with and cursed by one of her own kind, Khai knows she's as messed up as he is. Frowns to think that he was the planted seed of that damage too, and it's spread out over eons to destroy a love so fated he thought it would crush him. A hopeless love.
Khai covers for her, typing a quick text into a group chat that annoys him endlessly day to day, clearly serving its purpose now as he lies and tells the lot of them that he found her wandering in the park near the hiking trails. Rei of course asks him to berate her for disappearing, Usagi is excited and begs him to have Mina call her, Makoto sends about fifteen variations of emojis, and there is radio silence from Ami. He sighs and pockets the phone, eyeing the sleeping cat on the dashboard to ensure he's not seen openly gazing so longingly toward the docks to spy the most incredible woman he's ever known curled in on herself, sobbing. He can think of a multitude of reasons why, only that she's never liked appearing that vulnerable.
She's more generous and sweet than anyone he's ever seen, but like everyone, she has a dark side. Khai knows that she's known to frequent certain bars and clubs, and on occasion wakes up the next morning in a strange man's bed. A product of his consideration of finding a new coffee joint in the mornings so he didn't have to witness her occasional walk of shame. He might have if there was another coffee joint within a reasonable distance from his office that made coffee worth a damn. Try as he may to pretend it doesn't bother him, the past is no claim to her heart, but no one knew how deeply he feels that past.
Beryl stripped him of everything down to his very identity and the soul behind his eyes. Nigel, Zaki, and Jeison are probably the only people in existence to relate to how one minute he remembers being in the Golden Kingdom, fighting for forbidden love and peace, fighting all-consuming darkness out of sheer desperation to hold it all together. The next thing he knew, he was waking up eons later in a hospital bed with memories of a whole other life, and very sordid memories that mingled and scattered throughout his borrowed mind. His love for her was just as real as his love was for Endymion, and perhaps in this life stronger still. He remembers that love like it was only yesterday. Silver Millennium or London it doesn't matter the time or place- all he knows is he's supposed to be beside her.
She stands from the pier, and Khai gets out of the car quietly to not disturb the white cat napping peacefully on the dashboard. He stuffs his hands in his wool coat from the frigid chill on the air and watches her phone light up in her hand as she unknowingly walks toward him. It's darker now, harder to see, but her phone illuminates her face enough for him to see the raw redness of her cheeks and tears clinging to her long eyelashes.
"Mina." He calls to her, almost coldly, but more indifferent. He tries to be indifferent when he wants to gather her in his arms because, with good reason, she's only ever pushed him away. He's only ever promised himself to keep his distance. Khai leans against the hood of his SUV, watching her consider calling for a cab a moment before she hangs up and steps warily toward him. She's a glorious mess, golden hair piled messily on top of her head, eyeliner strategically smudged around blue eyes, wrapped in a burnt orange peacoat and worn jeans. He thinks she's still a Goddess even now when she's looking at him with confusion bordering on annoyance and all the weight of the world on her shoulders.
"How did you know where I was?" She's staring up into his face, Khai doesn't know exactly what, or who, she's looking for anymore only that he wishes she could see him. He can't explain to her how her soul calls to his, how in her darkest hours she's never really alone because he can sense her sadness. Mina should know after all.
"I think I can always find you." She nods quietly, tearing her eyes from him. Khai has so much to say, like a beaten child from somewhere between Turkey and Dubai with a million questions followed by an age-old fear of asking them. He chuckles softly in his throat at the notion, gesturing behind his shoulder with his thumb at the white ball of fluff napping in the windshield of his truck. "Someone was also worried about you."
"Does that mean everyone knows?" Mina peeks around him, pouty lips tensing into a knowing frown. "He would have gone to the girls first."
"I told them I found you at the park." He shakes his head slowly to her initial question, it's getting late and he's got work tomorrow so Khai feels his patience starting to slip. It always does when he wants nothing more than to spend time with her, to gather her in his arms and ask her what makes the mighty Aino Minako cry tonight? It's mostly impatience at himself at this point. He's a responsible adult, but he's lost plenty of sleep over her already, figures a few more hours won't kill him but as usual, she's being difficult.
"They would have searched the park."
"It's a big park." He sighs, fighting the urge to roll his eyes skyward at her blatant need to always fight him. Khai stands to full height and turns to get back in the car, eager to get back home for a drink, maybe a few hours of sleep that if he's lucky won't feature dreams of her. "Want a lift back or would you rather call a cab?"
Mina says nothing. Clearly weighs her options a moment in the most offensive way she can before she pulls her hair down and steps toward the passenger side door. It's enough to erase his momentary anger, it always is, because messy or not with her hair falling in such careless waves like this she's forever the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He'd known since he found her in a rose garden so long ago, that no other vision would ever compare.
Khai stands outside, lifting his face to the Moon, enjoying the crisp ocean air blowing through thick strands of his silver hair before he even entertains the idea of sitting near her, braving the assault of her sweet perfume and imposing presence. Her scent is the oldest, most haunting of things that have roused more memories of their past than anything else. The loving memories, the passionate ones, and worst of all the bloodiest.
Artemis is in her arms when he finally braves the car, forcing himself not to look at her or he won't be able to focus on the drive. It's awkward and silent as it always is. He expects nothing more, except he's grateful she doesn't tell him again how he shouldn't even exist at this point because she's killed him, twice. Mina peeks over at him when she thinks he doesn't see, he's caught her staring more than once but it's to be expected when someone you've killed is very much alive. Khai stopped letting it give him any hope a long time ago.
Their relationship thus far has been painful for him. They've fought, they've kissed, and it's always the most painful experience he's ever known because for her, it still isn't real. An empty echo of something already transpired, a bottomless void of pain, and not about anything of the man he is today. Khai pulls into the little art district, a narrow street with no actual parking to speak of, but with Makoto's cafe, Nigel's shop, and Minako's apartment here it's a hotspot for their mingling friends.
It still feels like forbidden territory for him, and he greets the charming familiarity of it with a hardened bitterness in his eyes. The tiny area is a Westernized oddity, endearingly known as the 'Hipster Trap' by the guys due to the eclectic mix of artisans and bars specializing in vaping and craft beers that somehow makes their friend's small businesses fitting. As the owner of a much larger business, Khai knows well that location is everything.
She lives above an art studio. A gallery of beautiful oil paintings done by a tiny German woman well into her seventies who is rather an oddity herself with her proper white bun, thick accent, and very traditional Old World ideals. The building is white brick, with a black awning and charming shabby chic aesthetic that suits Mina perfectly. The only windows in her bedroom are two french doors with no balcony or railing attached he knows are likely to come in handy in cases of Senshi emergencies. They just open to nowhere and he's caught a glimpse of her on occasion when the nightmares get the best of him, somehow finding himself here regardless of how he tries to avoid the area. He'd go for a run and find her awake too, windows open in a careless, almost inviting fashion, not that he ever had the nerve to knock on her door.
Artemis jumps from her lap onto the street when Mina slips from the SUV without much more than a passing, somewhat embarrassed glance. Khai considers his options a moment, free to now drive away and release them both the torment that comes like a sharp blade with the other party's presence. So he breathes heavily through his lips, and steps out onto the street himself to at least assure himself that Mina's okay. Heartbroken or not, he cares for her more than any combination of words have ever been able to express.
"You look like you've been to battle." He comments dryly, peeking down at his watch nervously since words so seldom come out the way he wants them to. The last thing he wants to do is offend her with his age-old lack of inflection aside from a very slight lingering accent courtesy of his upbringing.
"Maybe I have been." She agrees, shoving her hands into the pockets of her pea coat with the smallest traces of a smile on her lips. Khai remembers kissing those lips rather recently, aches to kiss her again, only this time let it feel more like one of his memories instead of a wretched reminder of what always slips right through his hands. Khai knows he's not who she thinks he is. No loveless stone wall for a General, no heartless puppet for darkness, nor a lost, manic, charismatic boy displaced from all of it. Hell, he doesn't know who he is half the time, a mixture of all of it, but he is more certain about Venus than anything else.
"Are you alright?" Khai fights to not raise his brow, assessing the gorgeous mess she made of gold hair and smudged mascara, only allowing his muscles to relax when she softly laughs. He tries so hard not to treat her as though she might break the way the rest of them do, only ever too aware of his own presence when she's near.
"I'm fine Khai, thanks for picking me up." Mina shifts on her feet, her head tilting and nose wrinkling adorably in distaste for her own admissions. "I guess I'm just a little embarrassed you found me like that. I'd probably be more embarrassed to know how long you were out there watching."
"Probably would be." He chuckles softly, nervously to himself, averting his eyes to appraise his shoes a moment with hopes they won't spark some memory the way just looking at her sometimes sends him back into an age of Gold and promise. Khai lifts his gaze back to her, braving to face her beauty that's disheveled and a keen reminder that this girl is a wild thing, ageless and completely untamed. Far more brave than himself in all aspects, in any timeline. Swallowing hard, he clamps his fist around his car keys almost painfully in attempts to gain some courage. She hasn't taken his reincarnation well, though he assumes he hasn't done the best with it either. "Look...I know things have been weird, but I still want to talk soon."
Any amusement leaves her face, and Khai decides it's late. He can't deal with another insult or excuse, not when he has to be up in a few hours for work and all he wants is to bury her in his arms and somehow go back to the Silver Millennium. He wants the whole ordeal to be a bad dream. He wants to wake up on Venus with a Goddess in his arms and relive that glorious morning where they made love and promised each other the Universe. When they were untouchable, and the future was theirs for the taking if they wanted it, and Khai remembers that thirst all too well. He longs to go back before their love was tainted, damned, and cursed. It's painful to think that it had been doomed from the very start.
"I can leave. It's late and it looks like you've had a rough night." Khai mutters, desperate to get away, he twirls his keys around a finger and turns to get back in the car with his signature frown gracing his lips with muscle memory he can't escape from.
"I was saying goodbye!" Mina calls out with that defeated tone she reserved for things that were hard for her to say. He pauses a moment, peering back over the barrier of the driver's side door in contemplation of taking the moment to escape. "I'll make some coffee... if you want to come up."
She gestures with a tired hand for him to follow her, but Khai stays wary of the invitation. The last time he ended up at her door things got hot and heavy rather quickly, and more painful than some of his bloodier dreams. Against his better judgment however, he flips the lock button on the door and slowly closes it with a prayer the rusty SUV doesn't get towed. It would probably cost more to bail it out of impound than the damned thing was worth, but in true Kunzite fashion, he just can't say no to Mina..
Mina's apartment suits her of course, though the path to get to it is little to be desired. The hall is dimly lit a narrow passage with worn green carpet that leads to the studio entrance to the right, and an even more narrow staircase to the left leading up to the apartment above it. There's a basic sort of yellowish light that gives off a horror movie vibe the way it flickers, and the stairs groan dangerously under his feet as he follows her up toward the front door.
The landing is small, Khai suppresses a smile the way Mina fumbles with her key a moment, pressing into the door with all of her weight to open the thing with an almost relieved sigh. He's almost sorry the door opens, drifting into many different memories of a scent she's carried through the ages that have likely coined the term aphrodisiac. Oranges and florals, honeysuckle or lily, his memory is still very flawed at that but he dreams of that scent more often than he is proud.
He stays floored by her a moment, watching her shrug out of her coat to a rather unassuming ensemble of a long-sleeved cotton henley in navy blue with the buttons undone and some worn out jeans. It would look normal on any other girl, but Mina would have found a way to make a potato sack look scandalous. Khai snaps out of it the moment she offers her hand to take his coat, and he finally steps inside, shutting the door warily before he surrenders his coat to her.
"Have a seat... my house is yours." Khai snorts at her misspeak, he can't help it. A more endearing quality of a mind that processes far too much information at all times.
"Fine. Then I'll move in tomorrow." He quips back at her with a chuckle in his throat that seems to stun her. Mina's cheeks turn an adorable flush, lips parted to speak though she appears at a loss of anything to come back at him with.
"Whatever, you know what I meant." She spins on her heel, messy gold waves trailing in her hasty retreat to the kitchen to make coffee. Coffee, the last thing he should be drinking in the middle of the night with back to back board meetings the next day.
Khai plops down on a rather plush loveseat, the only seating in her tiny living room, but it's comfortable and he leans his head back against the cushions, half tempted to fall asleep. It's all the same though, he remembers the first time Kunzite ever saw Venus and the dread that came from it each encounter after. Not for a want to not see her, but because sometimes she's hard to look at, her beauty and charms too much to behold or resist. He's not impervious to this of course, if he could have it his way he'd never look at another woman again. Even now, that hasn't changed.
There is a great many things about Aino Minako you'd have to understand aside from the reincarnated Goddess, Sailor Senshi, sordid past, piece of her torment. She has the kind of beauty that haunts you, disarms you, enchants you. Khai has witnessed men nearly walk headlong into traffic staring at her, trying to decide if Mina was real or just some figment of their lewd male fantasies only to be pulled back to safety by their suit jacket by the woman they'll marry months from that moment. Love surrounds her like cotton candy vape clouds that thickened the air in local bars these days and he had yet to decipher if that is how this supposed curse she'd been bestowed with worked, or if it was merely a product of lingering Venusian charm.
He's often considered finding a new watering hole for coffee each morning to avoid her rather obvious walks of shame after a night on the town. Her proud declarations that her nether regions are somehow magical because the guy she slept with two weeks ago finally grew the melons to ask the girl he was actually in love with to be with him. Khai cringes to think of how many couples found each other by the grace of her charms, and how many did she actually grow feelings for. How many actually broke her heart? And at what point does a heart still function when it's dried up and ground to powder?
Her smile can light miles of darkness when she isn't faking one, and when she is, it's the most brilliant bit of acting you'll ever witness. She fools herself sometimes, becomes manic, and for as charming as she can be, Mina is shameless. She's just as passionate as he is, but they are so different in the manner they show it. He's silent and obsessive, she's loud and wears her passion on her shoulder for the world to see. She embodies it after all.
The shuffling in the kitchen, water running, clanking of dishes, and deep calming breaths become distant to him once his eyes shut, very nearly drifting off while pondering her. It is his ritual before sleep after all, to think about her, to pine for her, to try and tell himself to move on. They're both better off without the pain of it all, the distant complications. She rounds the corner, two mugs in hand by the time his grey eyes opened and Khai lowers his head to give her his undivided attention. Mina seems to breathe slowly, her lips curling into a minuscule smile in her approach to appear more pleasant. He's reminded why he can't just let it go.
"I thought you fell asleep for a second there old man." She teases him, but there are nerves beneath it when she sits beside him, gingerly placing the mugs down on the glass surface of the coffee table. Khai laughs immediately upon the sight of the mug she designated for him, a pink thing with a glitter-accented unicorn on it, with a sun and rainbow that said "I'm Just a Ray of Fucking Sunshine" across the bottom. If anyone knew Minako for any given amount of time knows she isn't someone you want to cross paths with before 8:00 in the morning without her coffee. He wouldn't be surprised to see a hand flipping you the bird painted in the bottom of the otherwise girly looking coffee cup.
"Why do I feel like this embodies you perfectly?" Khai grins, eyebrow raising in jest while Mina's cheeks turn a slightly pinker shade, her blue eyes widening at his expression. He tells himself she'll have to get used to the way he smiles or laughs, even jokes on occasion. He isn't the same, would never be the same. Khai didn't ever want to be Kunzite again.
"Rei thought so too."
He watches her smile, warm and slow, from the corner of his eye when he takes that first sip of coffee and groans. Those hours at Makoto's charming little coffee shop are so worth every drop of smooth acidic bitterness, still almost too hot as it burns down his throat and clears away a bit of the fog trying to lure him home to his bed.
"I'll let the old man comment slide for now. But only because this coffee is amazing." Khai eyes her, catching her in a rather appreciating stare that she didn't waver from because Mina is totally shameless like that. His lips curl into something of a broader smile, and Mina appears to hold her breath, brows tense, pupils open. "You'll have to forgive my curiosity. I know we have a lot to talk about but indulge me. You were saying goodbye?"
Khai reaches for his coffee for a drink again, stomach clenching at what that might mean. His mind races at the possibilities, there's enough between them that saying goodbye could mean anything. All he's done these past weeks was try to get a fond 'Hello' in without painful reminders of his sins, that he shouldn't be breathing let alone existing. Khai shifts against the cushions to face her as she sips her coffee, face wincing adorably from the heat of it and quickly set the mug back down to address him while it cools.
"I was saying goodbye to the life I left behind in London." Mina won't look at him, blue eyes distantly lock onto her coffee mug like it's miles away. It takes him off guard a little, but he understands. London is a kind of purgatory for Mina. That halfway point between the life of a duty sworn Divine entity and an innocent teenage girl who longs for love and fame, a life normal dreams are made of. Instead, she's been thrust into nightmare after nightmare. A series of events Khai feels a crushing shame for, because he is the one who knocked down the first domino. He hears it echo in the solemn tones of her voice. "I need to move forward. I know we can't truly ever say goodbye to the Silver Millennium... we carry that with us always, don't we?"
"And it appears we're preparing for something like it to rise again. Crystal Tokyo will be much the same." He sounds old to his own ears and tries to decide how to put that part of their past behind them. The Silver Millennium is the foundation of their very existence, both remember it all vividly, though Khai suspects Mina remembers the most. He is part horrified at the prospect of Crystal Tokyo, and part excited. A chance for him to be the man he was always meant to be for Endymion if for no one else. He still loves him beyond reason, tells himself every day that his duty to his King will be enough. He looks at Mina now with a masked calm, his fingers tense and heart erratic in his ears, and he wonders if he could stand to sacrifice the beautiful memories of that life in order to forget the horror. He swallows hard around the devastation he feels at ever forgetting late night strolls through gardens he can still smell from memory, or falling in love and dancing with a girl in a red dress and hair of pure gold. An explosive love affair that time would swallow, and forget if he allowed himself to let it go. "But no... we can't ever say goodbye to the Silver Millennium."
It's tense, he can scarcely breathe for contemplating it all in a few mere moments of pause that even then maybe took too long. Mina is impatient, and a master of avoidance. She doesn't wither like most people, she seems to gain confidence and ramble when she doesn't want to address things and Khai sits back and watches her do just that. She starts idly sipping at her coffee and chattering on about how this new era will be ruled so differently under Usagi and Mamoru who have a better grasp on this age, this reality, and the nature of the people they'll be ruling. Earth is a more open-minded place now having seen horrors of the Dark Kingdom, the Black Moon Clan, The Dead Moon Circus... so many more that he feels responsible for.
Khai comes out of his own head as Mina starts describing all she's working on, obsessing over is more like it, and details only Ami could properly explain but he gives her credit for trying. He lifts a hand calmly to quiet her with a warm smile. It's adorable, endearing, and absolutely like her to let her mouth get away from her mind, but never her heart. She trails off, her previously wildly gesturing hands fall to her lap, blue eyes wide when they shift to meet his, biting the bottom petal of her full lips either from nerves or a poor attempt to distract him.
"You're getting off topic. You said goodbye to London." Khai knows if he didn't interrupt her when he did she'd talk him to death about duties old and new, but they always went by the same name of Serenity. She nods, blinking as if she'd forgotten the basis of the conversation entirely, even laughs softly in her throat at herself before addressing him again.
"Right. So I had this box of stuff. Reminders and mementos of things I lost and left behind from back then. Things I needed to let go of to move on to the next chapter of my life." His eyes widen, certain this is the part where she explains to him how no matter how involved he will be in the future, that her future simply doesn't have him in it. He is wary of course for her explanation, wears it on his brow that's forever scarred as though he is meant to look the part of a battle-worn General, but really he tries to wear his hair to hide it. "You know, things like stupid love letters to crushes I had in middle school, the only photo I had of my parents." She pauses to sip her coffee, he knows this is painful for her. "My Sailor V mask...Old relics from Ace or whatever you want to call him."
Her face slips into a sad reverie, and his stomach churns. It's the perfect time for her to rid herself of his memory. Saitou- a puppet disguise for an ancient man of Elysium who sold his soul in attempts to protect his Prince, his people, her. Something soulless and empty that reflects the person he wishes he could be- free of these memories and past lives. Something that loves her regardless of his incarnation. True to words spoken by the man he loathes to be once upon a time, Khai understands he is always damned to love her more than any waking world or age.
"What of me?" He asks solemnly, quietly. He can't bear to look at her, but watches the motion of her head snapping to attention. Khai knows she's studying his expression, how he didn't hide the hurt or turmoil of the question. Three very short words that held millions of years worth of weight. " What did you let go of that was mine?"
"The song." She admits, licking her lips and inadvertently leaned in toward him. "The song that Saitou wrote for me on that coffee-stained napkin." His lips tense against his teeth, muscle memory again forming his lips in a tight frown. It's a small thing, he knows, the only thing he keeps from Saitou really. A sad attempt to keep something that might have been is a love of music and knack for writing it. Some would say it was out of character for a man who is always so serious as he is to perform with a sort of passion he only let others see up on a stage. He lets them all think it's an act while he rips into his guitar or pours his soul into a dirty dive bar where most people are too blissfully drunk to listen. Songs that lay him bare to the bone, exposed and speaking of several lifetimes worth of hurt and longing. A testament to how sweet she is, Mina sees this is hurting him and quickly tries to soothe the wound. "I don't need it Khai, I've sung it enough to always keep it."
"I suppose you can't very well throw me into the ocean. I'm a pretty great swimmer." He chuckles darkly and takes a long drink of his rapidly cooling coffee. For no reason at this point other than to distract himself. Khai tells himself he's being selfish, that she's taking strides to be happy and he can only offer petty, unhelpful remarks. "Sorry, this isn't about me. That's an impressive first step, letting go of a hard time in your life like that. Feel any lighter?"
"Khai, it was the hardest time of my life, and there are things I'll carry with me always because there were good times too. Good things that I get to keep." She speaks urgently, the warm feel of her palm against the hand he leaves resting on his knee makes him go rigid. "I got rid of things, objects. I can't escape the memories they belong to. Not completely." She sits back, removing her hand from his to fidget with a lock of her long golden hair in her lap. "I feel lighter yes, but only because I feel like I can move forward." Her lips quirk in a come hither sort of way, meant to be a look of amusement but she's still a being of sensuality and it comes out in rather odd moments. "I wouldn't want to throw you into the ocean by the way."
"What's that like?" He hears himself ignoring her rather amusing comment meant to tease him, perhaps lighten the tone. Khai cradles his coffee cup, peering hard into the dark fluid like it was a magic 8 ball about to give him some profound answer. "I've been at odds with everything since I awakened, you know. Chasing a yesterday I can't escape from. Sometimes I don't want to."
"Like that song you sing? Or.. scream sometimes?" Khai chuckles softly to himself, knowing his more inebriated moments he'd become more emotional than he normally wants to. Seeing her passed the stage lights leaving on the arm of another man, their friends divided or awkwardly talking at their reserved table would send him into a drunken rage and lyrics he'd written to be sung were screamed instead. Her head tilts to the side, observing his silent reveries from between curtains of gold hair, peeking through asymmetrical bangs that frame her big blue eyes so perfectly. "If you could throw away pieces of your past, what would you get rid of?"
"That's the problem. Everything tangible that I have from then, I wouldn't want to get rid of. It's the emotional baggage. Things I never asked for, and even some that I did." His fingers tighten further around the pink unicorn cup in his hands. "Tell me something good that you kept."
"Fine." Her smiled broadens and brightens the room, shifting toward him on the couch until her leg presses softly against his own, almost comforting really. "I'll tell you something good I kept, if you let me help you work through the hardest things you want to get rid of and we'll replace it with something good." Khai stares back in disbelief, slowly setting his mug down on the table before it shatters in his hands. He knows she's one of the kindest, most caring souls ever to exist, but it's the first time she's extended this kindness to him and he's not sure how to take it just yet. "I'll start with that song you think I so rudely just discarded."
"It was yours to get rid of. I don't blame you for throwing it out." Mina comes to life, not as a character she plays but in true Minako fashion she rolls her eyes and bounces against the cushion to shift toward him better, her voice laced with a teasing annoyance she typically uses with Usagi.
"No you block head, listen to me. I threw it out because I truly don't need it. I know every word and I won't ever forget it. I sing it to myself all the time, there's even a recorded version of it on one of Ace's old EPs that I actually kept." She pauses, lowers her eyes down to her hands in her lap, strands of her hair entwined between her fingers. "Saitou hurt me you know." Khai physically winces at the blunt statement. Truth always was the killer but it's no less jarring. He turns his head to peer out the window behind him, it's growing late, and he thinks maybe he should leave before this gets ugly. Or someone tows his car, whichever comes first. "He was my first love in this life. Fitting that he was you, don't you think?"
His heart stops, eyes frantically seeking hers with widened disbelief. Khai is eternally grateful for the lack of coffee in his mouth in the moment or he might have very uncharacteristically lost his cool. He goes to speak, gets so much as her name out before his mind blanks and eighteen thousand apologies threaten to sputter from his lips in an even more uncharacteristic sputtering mess.
"Mina I-" She giggles. A warm, bell-like sound that could absolve him of all torment if it came under any other circumstances.
"It's okay Khai, it wasn't your fault that you had to go. I didn't know who Saitou really was at the time, so it hurt. I understand now, but I have always treasured that song. And I always will." She smiles again and leans forward to press her palm to his knee. Her eyes are blue as the sky in the spring, almost violet instead of laced with green and gold like the sea as he remembers, but no less beautiful. He resumes drinking his coffee, fitting that the prophesized middle finger greets him from the bottom of the mug. "Now your turn. What would you throw out if you could?"
"Beryl." The name spews from his lips before he can think. It startles Mina enough that her hand retracts and she sits back against the cushion with concern on her brow. Perhaps it is the icy tone that comes with the name and all the memory attached to it. She clears her throat and chooses her words with clear resignation.
"If it's any consolation, I did kill her you know." His eyes clamp shut, shaking his head slowly because it just isn't that simple for him. To everyone else her death is a clean victory for this age, an ancient mistake remedied at the grace of Usagi and Mamoru's sacrifice and the holy sword only Minako knew how to wield.
Beryl is the memory of blades dripping poison, slicing into his skin. Paralyzing him while she crawls into his bed with guises of Venus and strips away his pride, his power, his dignity as a man. Slowly that poison had seeped into his mind, and Beryl infused Metallia in him without him knowing the consequences, twisting and shifting his good intentions on him with broken promises of restored order and protecting those that he loved. It had been enough to plant seeds of doubt that inevitably allowed him to forfeit his soul willingly to her clutches, until there is nothing left. Khai feels his throat tighten, his stomach lurches, and his lungs restrict his airflow until he can't breathe. He barely remembers that Minako sits directly at his side as anxiety claws its way up into his throat, seeking to drive him into madness. Some nights Khai can feel her fanged teeth against his skin, her razor like nails dig into his flesh, see her horrid yellowish eyes behind his eyelids and feel that dark but awesome power rush through his veins.
"She did things to me... things I...I can't." He slams the mug down, wiping sweaty palms on his jeans, practically running toward where she'd placed his coat. All he knows at this point is he needs to leave. Shuffling sounds behind him tell him she's not letting him go so easily, but his throat is tight, eyes stinging with unshed tears he really doesn't want her to see. He clenches those eyes shut when he feels her palms at his chest, pressing him not to move forward toward the door. Desperately he meets her eyes, pleading her to let him leave. "I know you mean well Mina but I... I didn't want to go down this path tonight."
"I'm sorry Khai...I didn't know." She bites her lip, pure nerves peer back from behind her eyes and she stares up into his face. Warmth takes her lips, eyes dancing between his own and her thumbs stroke against his sweater at his chest to try and comfort him. "Can I give you something good?"
He sighs, shoulders deflating and lips fixed in a frown. He can't even enjoy her touch at the moment, physical contact is almost sickening to him with the memory of Beryl flavoring his mouth with bile. Khai nods, flinching from her hand as it lifts to trace through a scar that split one of his brows, his eyes clenching shut at the warmth of the motion. He's had that scar in every life, he hates that scar because it's one he shares with Kunzite.
"I don't recall you being the one to hit me with a lead pipe Mina." His voice wavered in its quiet tone, remembering that day that started a months worth of torture by Beryl's hand, his body used as her plaything while she allowed him to see every moment of his sins, all down to the last battle of the Silver Millennium. A painful memory all because of this injured eyebrow Saitou earned in a gang fight. "That was the worst day," He admits in a quivering, whispered tone, "I was late for a meeting with Beryl, and she was so angry, I failed so miserably. I defied her and so I was punished."
"I remember that day much differently." She whispers sweetly, and he opens his eyes to meet hers quietly studying his features as if to memorize them. Her thumb gently strokes the scar upward with her thumb before trailing her fingers down his cheek. Her other hand urging him backward until the back of his thighs hit one of her barstools and he falls onto it with a sort of graceful clumsiness. Mina nestles herself between his thighs, hands resting at his shoulders with a reassuring smile. "You got knocked out in that gang fight...Sailor V so valiantly broke it up." Her giggle eases the tension in his gut enough to offer her some sorry excuse for a half smile. Khai takes in her face, the familiar light dusting of freckles on her nose, the full curves of her lips, and his heart stops when he noticed very small flecks of green making themselves known in her eyes. "You were hurt so bad, so I, as Mina, couldn't just leave you like that. I dragged you back to the school, it was a weekend so we broke in, and you made some wisecrack about my short skirt."
"I did no such thing." It comes back to him, fuzzy as it is, he remembers a pale yellow sundress she wore that day, and that they sang on the tree-lined boulevard before the fight. As though a piece of Saitou breaks through, he attempts to sound scandalized. Anything to not think about the aftermath of that day.
"You did." She laughs, sliding in closer so her arms wind around his neck, her chest meeting his with intoxicating proximity. Khai feels better already, yet he's terrified to touch her and clamps his hands on his knees in terror that she might fade into another soul-crushing dream. "Anyway, I took you to the nurse's office and hopped up on the counter for supplies so I could be level with your idiot self."
"Gee, thanks Mina." He rolls his eyes unable to keep the grin from spreading as she spoke, quenching his dry lips as he continued to be distracted by hers. Allowing the soothing sound of her voice eat away the anxiety and terror in favor of something more playful. Nearly flirtatious.
"Hey, you're welcome Mister. I think I did a fine job at patching up your eyebrow, AND you got a badass scar out of the deal." Khai chuckles with her, her teasing kindling a newfound appreciation for the scar he's always loathed so much. "I used to go there when I got hurt as Sailor V. Best medical training you can get is learning to stitch your own wounds."
"I'm surprised you don't look like Frankenstein's Monster." Khai full on laughed now when Mina scoffed and smacked him on the chest, her eyes rolling to the ceiling with a betraying grin of her own. Their foreheads kiss when she presses hers against his, hand resting gently over his heart where she'd smacked him. He could nearly smell her cherry lip balm, it mingled with oranges and honeysuckle. "What happened next?"
"Well," Mina begins, removing her arms from him to grab his wrists from his knees, and place them on her waist. Khai doesn't hesitate to pull her closer with a sort of wanting ache in his chest. He's only dreamt of holding her again until now, her fingers getting caught in his tangled hair really only adding humor to the moment as she continues her story. "I patched you up, and you put your hands on my waist, very respectfully asking if it was okay.."
"Mmmhmm?" Khai brushes his nose against hers distractedly, her voice reflecting the same sentiment as it grew much softer.
"You knew I'd never kissed a boy before," He stifles a laugh, his hair is fine but there was a ton of it, and her fingers became trapped in the forever tangled web caused by the earlier wind from the sea. His amusement, however, becomes stifled as she inches forward, lips barely brushing his own. "It was my first kiss silly... OUR first kiss-"
Khai presses his lips to hers before she can utter another word. He wants to devour her, but given the depth of the evening resigns to keeping it soft regardless of the intensity of his own emotions. She sighs into him through her nose, and he breathes it in. She's not Venus, and he's not Kunzite, but when their lips clash again and again it becomes harder to deny that fate has a thirst far stronger than their own resistance.
"You've had a really good tutor." He teases breathily when they part and the smile she gives him earns her another light press from his lips. Mina giggles playfully, nipping his bottom lip between her teeth in his hesitant withdrawal.
"I believe it was you who told me to follow your lead." Khai grins and nips her back. It takes all of his restraint not to pull her onto his lap and simply ravish her with a sort of sleepless drunkenness that began to settle in at the feeling of her fingers lacing through his silvery hair.
"I'm the best tutor in the world." He finally responds, earning a full-on snort from Mina, her eyes rolling comically, his hair trapping her fingers once more saving him a punch in the arm. "So what happened then?"
"Well, I pushed you off of me before you could maul me to death and we performed a two-man show for no one in the auditorium. It was fun, and we should so do it again."
"Well, I don't think we have to break into a school for that. I have a set every Friday, access to a stage, and instruments..OH, and even a band!" Khai laughs, her hand colliding with his chest again with a playful glare.
"You know what I mean idiot." He kisses the hand she smacked him with, meeting her eyes with a wide, genuine grin. He's grateful he accepted her invitation, and that icy barrier between them seems melted or broken, he doesn't care. Only that she's in his arms, and something so painful becomes a more beautiful memory. The terror is still there, lurking behind this story she tells him, but it soothes the burn of it. Gives him something different of that day, that lingering scar for him to focus on.
"I remember this a bit clearer now, but I think you're forgetting the best part. The part that made that day the best day. Not the worst." A sly smile spreads to her lips, her weight shifting forward for her arms to lace around his neck again. Her eyes lift to the ceiling in mock contemplation.
"I mean you bought me a corndog and walked me home... it was a pretty good corndog..." Khai scoffs and pulls her flush to his chest, tightening his arms around her small frame that still fits beyond perfectly against him. "OH you mean the goodnight part! That was-"
He cuts her off with his lips, a firmer, more desperate motion that furrows his brows. His fingers bury in her hair, parting his lips to sweep his tongue between hers and taste her. She whimpers into it, deepens it further and grips at his sweater, trying to pull him deeper still. He kisses her until there is no air left to breathe and he feels himself slipping into thoughts and memory not appropriate for the late hour or the flimsy support of a barstool. When she finally lets him break the entanglement of the moment and his grey eyes pierce with purpose into her blues, there's a mutual want in it that strikes guilt in him.
"I hope you didn't think I came here just for this." His brow quirks, eyes fixed on her swollen, cherry flavored lips.
"Oh I know you didn't. And I'm sorry I can't make the memories go away, but I hope I can at least make this one better."
"You know I don't deserve this." Khai feels like he could weep, fall apart, but he doesn't. His flimsy pride wouldn't allow it in a million years.
"I know you would never ask for it. But tonight is for goodbyes Khai. For shedding painful pieces of us that might hold us down in the years to come." He swallows hard, her fingers softly running through his hair as though she knows the erratic beating of his heart. The hope he tries so hard not to feel. Hope is always dangerous for a love so doomed to fail no matter how much they love in any incarnation. He's wanted to crumble into her the way he did when he found Mamoru, but he's always had more vulnerability when it comes to his Prince, and even the men who by some grace of forgiveness still follow him.
"I have a lot more fond memories of that day now... Thank you Mina, for reminding me." With a kiss to his brow and knowing smile, Mina takes his hands in her smaller ones, and pulls him back to her loveseat with a contented sigh. "You said hold US down in the years to come." Khai knows better than to hope for any sort of future, she's made it clear on more than one occasion that it isn't going to happen, and yet the bridge of her nose took on a rosier tone and her eyes drop to her lap to observe a loose string at the hem of her shirt.
"Well... I loved Ace." His entire demeanor fades into an exhausted heap of done. Her eyes are wary, rightfully so, because just his name feeds a certain fury within him that Khai feels entitled to. "But I loved him before I regained any semblance of memory. A real wonder indeed since I was just a stupid kid. He dangled everything I ever wanted in front of me, and I took it without hesitation."
"You always did know what you wanted." It comes out dry and unamused, like a bucket of cold water. It's an accurate statement, and probably the reason Mina is now some beacon of certainty with a real knack for self-denial. Again, she hasn't really changed. Venus was exactly the same way.
"I knew I wanted to be an idol more than anything. I knew that Ace was this gorgeous older guy, an idol himself, and he wanted me... ME of all people to be a model, and have a musical career, and star in a movie. He was a ticket away from my parents, and for all his creepy infatuation with me he treated me pretty damn well..."
"Aside from the whole using you to help him gather energy for the Dark Agency and making you fall prey to his sick obsessions? You were what fourteen?" He's tired, and it sounds that way. Defeated by a long dead Dark Kingdom lackey who stole Mina's heart in ways he's never been allowed to and burned it to shambles with a Venusian curse that Khai still isn't sure is real. He hates Adonis about as much as he hates Beryl, only sorry that Kunzite couldn't even kill the bastard before he had the chance to hurt her. Another failure he can add to the list.
"I was fifteen," Mina admits this with a flush. Never having the grace to flush about a sexual encounter her entire life, Khai groans and rolls his eyes away from her. "Oh don't give me that... how old are you like thirty-five now?"
"Twenty-nine." Eyes reduced to slits, he glares at her. The old man jokes are a common theme for him. He's proud of his silver hair and deepened skin until it gets him too much attention, or Jeison and Nigel gang up on him until the joke wears rather thin because those loveable hyenas never know when to quit. "I'm guessing you're still what, ten?"
"I'll be twenty soon." She replies almost innocently to his jab at her maturity, tapping her pointer finger against her bottom lip in contemplation. "Hm... that's interesting. You were older before."
"I don't think age mattered much back in Earth's more primitive years, and then again you were a Goddess. I'm not sure what the policy was on Otherworldly beings." His lips tense, frowning tiredly at her with only the slight shift of his eyes. "I still don't like that he touched you."
"Oh please...I was the initiator." Mina rolls her blue eyes, making a rather humorous face when she takes a sip of probably rather cold coffee. Khai shifts on the couch, resting his head into the palm of his hand. Talking about Adonis is always exhausting to him, as discussing any portion of their sordid past is.
"Of course you were." He speaks around a suppressed yawn, trying to ignore the time reflecting back at him from the watch on his wrist.
"Anyways, you distracted me from my point." Mina pouts, wiggling her bottom anxiously on the cushion to face him better.
"Which is?" He yawns again, feeling that burn in his eyes when you've been awake too long and everything takes on a dream-like quality that makes you feel drunk. Drunk is more fun he decides with an apology for his tiredness.
"I loved Ace...and I said goodbye to him tonight. He cursed me you know... gave me a final love fortune that only ever places me on the path toward duty since I have always chosen that over him...I said goodbye because... " His brows raise in wait for her to finish the sentence. It's no secret how much the Silver Millennium influences them still today. Their sworn duties and responsibilities to a Prince and Princess who will truly unite the entire Galaxy with a sort of love more powerful than any crystal or ideal because it's that fated love that had been the magic all along. Only now they would fulfill that destiny. "I needed to say goodbye to all of it... not just Ace and his love fortunes...because there wouldn't have been room left for you."
"Me?" Khai's brow twitches, certain he's had a heart attack of some nature or surely fallen back into some dream-like coma. His chest hurts from the indication of it, anticipation he's certain might end him either from adrenaline or hope.
"I forgive you."
"I killed you." He chokes out, eyes widened and red. Stinging with the threat of tears, voice cracking with the indication he might actually fall apart. Mina looks like she might cry a moment too, eyes glassing but holding his with an affection he hasn't seen since before recorded time.
"Can I give you something good?" Khai nods slowly, unable to speak or breathe really. He thinks he's dreaming. He has to be. "I never said goodbye to you. Remember?"
His hand covers his mouth, only able to stare back at her and reflect on some of the most painful moments of Kunzite's history. She hadn't forgiven him when he killed her the first time, but there were no goodbyes, only whispered prayers for deliverance of the nightmare. Mina made Saitou promise to stay in touch, a wish to always be friends, a wish to stay together. Kunzite had pleaded with Venus to let him go during that battle with Metallia only a few years prior, and she refused. And she kept that song he wrote her. Recorded it to cherish forever. There hadn't ever been a goodbye between them.
I forgive you Khai... there's a lot of hurt that we need to say farewell to, but you're one of the very few things I won't let go of. I'll never give up on you... and I'll never say goodbye. You hurt me... I think we've established that. I can't make promises about our future, or what you will mean to me but-" He presses a finger to her lips to silence her. Before she reduces the moment to waterworks and too many words.
"Please... you've given me more than I ever deserved. I'm a fool if I tell you that I don't want it...that I won't take every ounce of forgiveness or love that you can give me. Mina I..." Words become hard again, but he desperately gazes into her eyes like he can finally see something of forever. "Thank you...for not saying it. For not giving me the farewell I thought I needed."
"I know I said I can't make promises for us, but would you kiss me again Khai?" The words are a shock to his system. An adrenaline rush that has him urgently moving forward to cup her jaw, to press his lips wantonly to hers, to easily pull her on top of him as he lay back against the arm of the loveseat. Mina entwines herself onto him, melting and molding against his body like a forbidden memory. Khai is as ravenous for Mina as Kunzite had been for Venus, and as memories become reality, their identities become one in the same. She moans into his mouth, clinging to his hair, and wantingly shifting her hips with purpose into his own to elicit the same response from him. Curves are dangerous in his hands, he still knows what to do with them and when those hands begin to wander it's almost enough to ruin his restraint entirely.
As her hips became grinding, her moans driving him beyond some state of sanity, the alarm meant to wake him rang through the small apartment like a fallout warning. Mina comically jumps off of him, hand to her chest no doubt to keep her heart from running away with panting breaths and wide eyes. Khai silences the alarm and meets her eyes again with a slow forming grin that turns quickly to full-on laughter.
"What kind of droid wakes up at four in the morning!" Mina smacks him dead in the face with one of the orange throw pillows behind her. He throws it back, a far miss that almost took out the lamp behind her head.
"It's when I go for my run." He explains between chuckles. Nevermind that he's been awake for a full twenty-four hours at this point. It's been well worth the zombie like state he'll remain in for the next ten. Mina grabs for her phone, typing into the lit screen with her tongue sticking out between her lips in concentration. "Who are you texting right now?"
"My boss... there is no way in Hell I'm going to work today." Mina shakes her head decidedly as Khai rubs his eyes between his thumb and forefingers. By the time he looks up, his phone is in her hands and she's rummaging through it in search of something. He hopes she doesn't come across some of her Instagram photos he saved to the device back at Harvard when Mamoru explained she actually wasn't dead. He hasn't had the heart to delete them.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Stephanie is your secretary, right? I'm calling you in sick." He reaches fruitlessly for the phone, but Mina stands up to get far from arms reach. She types something out and tosses it back to him with a yawn. "Come on... let's get some sleep."
"You want me to stay?" He's wary, and it clearly annoys her. She rolls her eyes and lunges forward for his hand, pulling him to his feet with unassuming strength.
"YES idiot... you've been awake for twenty-four hours, you are neither walking or driving home, or working today." She leads him through a narrow door into a familiar room rather taken up by a large bed and sparse furniture. Her hands raise in defeat under his accusing glare, but she smiles cunningly all the same. "Oh don't worry mister, I'll keep my hands to myself."
He knows she's probably lying. He also knows he wouldn't mind her wandering hands, except Khai is well aware he's delirious and sleep deprived. His judgment isn't what it should be, so he accepts her promise and pulls his sweater over his head, discarding it to the floor since there's really not many other options. Mina hasn't moved, however, so he pauses once his fingers find the button on his jeans to look up at her. Khai deadpans at her hungry and anticipating stare, eyebrow raised and lips tensed.
"Mina... you're staring." It jars her enough to smile, sauntering through her bathroom door on the other side of the room.
"Not sorry!" Khai laughs to himself at her very Minako admission from behind the door while he strips down to his fitted tank top and boxer briefs. Pulling back the thick duvet, he sinks into the softness and enveloping warmth, grateful for her rather expensive taste in bedding. His eyes close, and Khai very nearly drifts to sleep before he hears the light switch in the bathroom flip, and the dainty feel of her slipping into bed beside him.
It's definitely a dream, he decides when she shifts in closer to him without touching. For him, it's only yesterday that he knew this feeling, and hope wasn't a thing he could rely on. But Khai wraps his arms around her, bringing her back flush against his chest, resting his palm on her stomach where he knows there's a scar. Mina turns to look at him over her shoulder when he presses his lips to flawless skin to inhale the soft, sweet smell of her. Full lips turn into a tired but contented smile, her fingers lacing with his against her stomach. It's the warmest hello Khai can think to offer her. One worthy of such expansive time between them.
"Promise me that when we wake up you'll be here, and this night wasn't a dream?" His voice is rough, a daring request for a man to ask a woman budding with divinity, but she reaches back with her free hand to cup his cheek, soft pads of her fingers caressing the rough line of his jaw.
"I told you I'd never say goodbye to you, a promise I'll always keep." Mina yawns, her lashes fluttering tiredly against her cheek. She wiggles to nestle further against his chest, and her eyes close. "It's just goodnight Khai... I'll be right here when you wake up, and there had better be pancakes in our future."
"Anything you desire is in your future Mina, if I have any say in the matter." He means it like he's never meant any words before them. Pressing his lips to her shoulder again, he rests them there, smiling sleepily against her skin before his head hits the pillow and the scent of her vividly golden hair can lull him into a fast sleep. Khai's lips move but no sound comes out, he's almost asleep but needs to say the words 'I've missed you.' It's not audible, but she squeezes his hand in hers as though she's heard him. She knows.
Khai doesn't need to dream of her tonight. She's safe, enveloped in his arms with the promise of tomorrow.
