Disclaimer: Okay so here is the complete and utter truth. I do not own any of the characters of Escaflowne. So please don't sue?

inXthisXworld: Alright so I am hella rusty at writing anything decent honestly. I haven't written anything since I gave birth to my son about two years ago. Further more if you really want me to continue on with more chapters I ask that you read and review. It's only fair right? Um flame if you must, though I have to admit I don't react to kindly to such acts. Anyways, on with the fanfic.

~.Ruby Red Glare.~

Chapter One: Uncontrollable Episodes

....:~:Hitomi's POV:~.
Sometimes... just sometimes I really wonder. What has happened with all of the good moments, my mind being at complete and total peace, and those heart beats that leave me smiling? It has been three years since I left that beautiful world, since I lost the title of the 'girl from the mystic moon'. Sometimes I think that it was all a dream. The war, my tarot readings, the two men I fell in love with.

I hate questioning myself like this, but did I actually pinch myself while I was in that world? Did I make sure that none of it was a dream? I feel my heartpounding, there is nothing like being shaken with doubt. My grandmother told me, never to doubt. Yet here I am again showing these god awful human emotions.
Rolling over in my bed, my arm grips around the strong muscle of another. Moon light rolling onto the bed his dark hair plastered to his tan forehead. I look even closer, peering down at him. Van... I shake my head wildly, feeling like I lost all control for a minute. Not Van... Not Van... Hasumi... but that hair... running my long fingers through his hair, my heart sinks.

Every time this happens I start to question myself. I have been with this man for over two years, yet do I really love him? When my heart wants to believe he is some other man, what does that mean? Guilt... another emotion I have a problem with dealing with. These human emotions, this beating wreck. When will I ever feel stable and sure of what I am doing?

I'm not even sure who my heart is beating for. Please let me feel a little more stable tomorrow...

*****

....:~:Normal POV:~.
Peering through the window the sunlight gripped at the dark sheets of the bed. Hasumi was the first to wake. He was quite a morning person, once his eyes were open he was good to go for the day. Of course obtaining the almost impossible eight hours of sleep every night probably helped him out a bit. He smiled slightly noticing how tangled his fingers were within the young girl's hair.

When he first met her, her hair was so short. But now it fell beautifully passed her shoulders. When he noticed these kind of details he found himself starting to wonder just really how fast time is. Are the hands on the clock really ticking their way down to the end of another day, or are they playing tricks? Tick tock, tick tock tick, flick, tock.

Was that not seven seconds? Oh, but it could be an hour. How he hated thinking of the clock the ticked only tricks. Glancing down at the woman next to him, he noticed just how the sheets griped her curved form. How could he be so lucky as to retrieve such a great find?

His fingers reached behind the back of her head, tangles seemed so impossible for her thin hair. Her eyes, twitched, she moaned quietly as she rolled over towards him. Lips parted, her mouth moved, forming words but spilling no sound. She did this just about every morning, god he wished he knew what she was saying. But he couldn't really concentrate on reading her moving mouth, all he could see was the soft coral stained lips.

He pulled her soft body close, slowly pressing his lips to her own. Still half asleep she grabbed at the cotton material that was wrapped around his body. Hasumi parted with her, waiting for the forest to stare back at him. Slowly her eyes opened, though once again a surprised look marked her features.

"Hasumi?" She questioned.

He rewarded her with an odd look. "Who else would be in your bed when you woke up?"

Hitomi smiled her awkward smile. " You. Only you." Honestly if there was anything he disliked about her it would be that smile. That smile made him feel like she was forcing herself to say something she didn't want to say. It made him so uneasy, that simple awkward smile. Seeing his reaction to her comment she placed a soft kiss upon his tan cheek. Then propping herself up with her elbow she yawned. "Sleep seems to get harder and harder to come by."

He glanced up at her, " Looks like you need to clear your mind." A smirk now graced his features.

Her emerald orbs fixed, looking far beyond the uncovered window before her. She felt like someone was calling her.

Hasumi's smirk faded rather quickly. "Hitomi?"

Hearing her name startled her. "Hai!" She was such a space case, such uncontrollable episodes were embarrassing. Finally she recalled what he said before she found herself lost. "Your right... I really do need to clear my mind."

He reached out pulling her into his arms once more. " You worry me..."

She hated hearing that. Her mother always went on about that. Allen and Van... she froze. Clear her mind, more like erase it. No matter what she found herself doing one of them swung into her thoughts.

Such a growing state of madness. Again Van drifted in. She started to wonder how the kingdom was. If he still wore the ruby red pendant, her most prized heirloom. A kingdom needs a king, and a kingdom also needs a... her heart stopped... a queen.

He has to have found a queen by now. A beautiful girl with long dark hair like his mother, possibly carrying the same blood. His wings... she paused. They were so breath taking, such blinding ivory.

" Hitomi..." Hasumi sighed deeply, once again feeling completely left out.

She found herself upset, uncomfortable, and wanting to leave. She slowly pushed him back and drew back the dark sheets. " I need to go out for a little while..." He just stared at her, watching her pull up her jeans. Grabbing at her waistline.

" That's fine." He said, looking away before attempting to drag her back into bed. " I have work in about an hour or so anyways. Promise me you'll be back for dinner?"

" Of course." She really had to force this smile as she turned to him once more before walking out the bedroom door.

*****

....:~:Hitomi's POV:~.
Why can't I get over these feelings, these memories. It was a little comforting having the wind toss and flip my hair about. Those romance stories are over, I have a new life. Now why the heck don't I understand that. Why does my mind like to travel back.

I can't stay in love with memories, that is complete utter nonsense. Memories? No, not memories, these men were real. She shook her head in disbelief. It's getting harder and harder for me to believe that every truly did happen.

Suddenly I found myself falling forward into a green sea of grass. Well actually I didn't really get to see anything before I hit the green pillow with a loud 'thud'. It's sad when you start to notice that thing while walking is apparently one of the last things you should do. Looking around I found myself on my old high school's field. Thankfully this was a Saturday, god knows high school students point and laugh at just about everything they see. It's like' they have never heard of mistakes or accidents before.

I hear footsteps behind me. Time to pretend I was actually looking at that flower. How embarrassing...

" Are you alright?" Wow, amazingly I didn't think anyone could sound less concerned when asking this question. But the voice, that sarcastic tone, why on earth was it familiar?

" Of course I am." Darn my voice sounds shaky. " I was just looking at that flower over there." I found myself pointing awkwardly at the weed about two feet ahead of me. I didn't even bother looking up at the person, who's voice rang the loudest bell she had ever heard. Yet, still... she couldn't quite pinpoint who it was. Or where she had even heard this voice before.

She heard a small chuckle. Great now this man thinks I have problems. Why couldn't there have been an actual flower around?

"Still making up excuses to cover up your mistakes I see." 'Thump' now he was sitting right next to me. My heart began to race as I found my eyes curiously looking at the tan boots next to my elbow.

*****

inXthisXworld: Please review and let me know if you enjoy. Then I will gladly continue this for you.